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(CNN)   Designers want to make your front yard look like a 70's porn movie   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Gardening, National Wildlife Federation, Landscape architecture, Landscape architect, landscape architects, new garden model, Garden, Lawn  
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6606 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2020 at 11:04 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-08-09 8:56:25 AM  
Front yards shouldn't have that much hair.
 
2020-08-09 9:42:01 AM  

bostonguy: Front yards shouldn't have that much hair.


That's what the HOA said.
 
2020-08-09 10:04:06 AM  
An interesting thing my grandma told me, when she was a kid they didn't even cut the grass.  They just let the weeds grow and the high traffic areas became paths.  Lawns weren't even a thing not that long ago.

I cut the grass because I don't want snakes and ticks but that's all I do.  Brown spots, crab grass, clover, don't care.
 
2020-08-09 10:17:48 AM  
Most of America doesn't have enough fresh water to keep your lawn green. Don't get me started on golf courses and lawn bowling.
 
2020-08-09 10:41:34 AM  

ChrisDe: Most of America doesn't have enough fresh water to keep your lawn green. Don't get me started on golf courses and lawn bowling.


Indigenous grasses and such could work.  I'm a big fan of tall beach grasses.

I hate the modern law aesthetic and am open to some new thoughts.
 
2020-08-09 11:00:22 AM  
Some of those alternatives look like a lot of maintenance.  I think lawns are stupid, but it came with the house so I mow it regularly so as to not be judged by the neighbors.
 
2020-08-09 11:01:54 AM  
Has anyone done a lawn with a moustache?
 
2020-08-09 11:06:07 AM  
Turned my south facing front yard into a bush berry garden. One or two deep soaks in the summer and that's it.
 
2020-08-09 11:06:48 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size

[Angry Hank Hill noises]
 
2020-08-09 11:08:15 AM  

nekom: An interesting thing my grandma told me, when she was a kid they didn't even cut the grass.  They just let the weeds grow and the high traffic areas became paths.  Lawns weren't even a thing not that long ago.

I cut the grass because I don't want snakes and ticks but that's all I do.  Brown spots, crab grass, clover, don't care.


Agreed. Cut it once a week and don't worry about what grows in it.  Some years its all green, some years the rain ain't so great and its kind of dead.  but I sure ain't spending money on "beautifying" it.  Everyone I know that does that ends up spending inordinate amounts of time working on their lawn.. and that shiat just doesnt sound fun to me.
 
2020-08-09 11:09:46 AM  
I moved to the mountains. I dont miss mowing the orange county lawn at all.
 
2020-08-09 11:10:48 AM  

NewportBarGuy: I hate the modern law aesthetic and am open to some new thoughts.


I fought it, and it won.  So don't do that.
 
2020-08-09 11:12:45 AM  
BTDT: front yard is now a mix of a native plant garden, raised planter beds with fruits and vegetables, some ornamentals and a little bit of alternative lawn in the pathways around the pavers.

PT seed has some great lawn alternatives.

We water less, have provided habitat for birds and insects, and turned a useless expanse of lawn into a pretty area we spend time in, that also puts food on our table.
 
2020-08-09 11:13:18 AM  
I keep the front lawn nice for the neighborhood but it's eventually getting replaced with a couple of raised planters and some gravel paths so it's only a few times a year I have to maintain it.
The back gets mowed enough to keep pests down and for the kid to run around in.
 
2020-08-09 11:16:05 AM  
The beauty of living in cities since I went to college is that I have not had to mow or take care of a lawn since I was 17. CSB.
 
2020-08-09 11:19:09 AM  
urbantribalista.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-09 11:19:46 AM  

bostonguy: The beauty of living in cities since I went to college is that I have not had to mow or take care of a lawn since I was 17. CSB.


My 26 year old self bought a condo with the knowledge that my 26 year old butt had no desire to landscape and would be spending my time doing better things, like going on lots of dates because I was so awesome.

In hindsight, I was right about the landscaping part...
 
2020-08-09 11:28:32 AM  
I have not had any lawn to care for ever. My first house had some and I ripped it out and xeriscaped it. My second house is set in a large area of native plants for So. Cal. and I didn't change anything. No lawn to manage, more time for me to do what i want.
/Going 40+ years that way.
//Never going to to back
///Three for the trees
 
2020-08-09 11:29:24 AM  
Way ahead of the curve.  Here's my front yard:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Rain barrels feed soaker hoses.  The tomatoes are starting to come in fast and furious.
 
2020-08-09 11:29:28 AM  
I had a section of my Minneapolis yard where I sort of went prairie reclamation on the bit and it's turning out pretty cool...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-09 11:31:18 AM  
My cousin lived on the family homestead (dairy farm in SW Wisconsin). He converted 2 acres of the pasture to a prairie restoration only using native plants. I loved wandering through there just looking at the flowers and listening to the insects. He ended up putting out a couple beehives in cooperation with a local beekeeper and his share of the honey brought in more income than the pasture land ever did.

For those who think some of the yards featured in TFA look like a lot of work, yes, planning and setting them up is a lot of work but if you choose plants native to your area, maintenance is a breeze. People around here who have done that mostly just cut away dead stuff before the snow falls and every few years divide plants that are growing too well, they don't even water it. If you do a prairie restoration like my cousin, every ten years or so he has the local DNR do a controlled burn.
 
2020-08-09 11:31:21 AM  
One of my neighbors turned her front lawn into a wildflower / wild grass garden. Now instead of taking 10 minutes to cut her grass once a week she spends a few hours pulling burdock, goldenrod, ragweed, nettle, and sourdock.

I'm open to replacing my lawn with other plants but I'm not signing on for higher maintenance. I already got rid of 3/4 of the flower beds the previous owner had because I'm not spending every weekend pulling weeds. If you've got a native species that provides good ground cover and can outcompete most weed species, at least enough where weeding is an occasional problem in the summer rather than a weekly problem, I'm in.
 
2020-08-09 11:31:45 AM  
Also, I don't get the reference to 70s' porn.  Should I be watchIng more porn?
 
2020-08-09 11:32:26 AM  

phedex: nekom: An interesting thing my grandma told me, when she was a kid they didn't even cut the grass.  They just let the weeds grow and the high traffic areas became paths.  Lawns weren't even a thing not that long ago.

I cut the grass because I don't want snakes and ticks but that's all I do.  Brown spots, crab grass, clover, don't care.

Agreed. Cut it once a week and don't worry about what grows in it.  Some years its all green, some years the rain ain't so great and its kind of dead.  but I sure ain't spending money on "beautifying" it.  Everyone I know that does that ends up spending inordinate amounts of time working on their lawn.. and that shiat just doesnt sound fun to me.


Cut and edge once a week. Use a high setting on the mower.  Lay some weed and feed in the spring.  Overseed when the first week long thunderstorm battery appears.  Water never.  The back yard gets mowed, and that's it.

The flower beds are another story. That's where the real work is - weeding, replacing plants that die for no farking reason, spraying the rose bushes for insects, it never ends.  Lawns are popular because they are extremely low maintenance. The maintenance that is required is about two hours a week mowing, edging, and cleaning the equipment afterwards (this is, I should note, only a 1/3 acre lot, so if you have a large lot, it will be longer).  I don't get the "bwah, but I have to exert myself walking in the yard!"  It's exercise, you can skip one of your workouts and have the lawn as a low impact workout... spend an hour or so pushing a 70 lbs sled around, get your blood flowing, put in your headphones, listen to an interesting podcast or music.  It's good for my mental wellbeing.

Every single one of the yards shown above looks like a maintenance nightmare, but I suppose the real aim is to drum up business for landscapers to both design and maintain the grounds.  Eventually, the grass will take it over anyway.

This is my low maintenance lawn, so I don't know what this great effort is people are putting in:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-09 11:32:52 AM  
funnymeme4me.comView Full Size
Bobby Fuller Four - I Fought The Law(1966)
Youtube OgtQj8O92eI
 
2020-08-09 11:34:37 AM  
Those are too chaotic for me.  Bare dirt, basic grass, or gravel with trees is all I would want.
 
2020-08-09 11:34:54 AM  
Hi, I'm Harry.  Harry Bush.  Check out my big deck.

How Big is Your Deck?
Youtube FGMkEfuWZHM
 
2020-08-09 11:35:17 AM  

bizzwire: Also, I don't get the reference to 70s' porn.  Should I be watchIng more porn?


Bushes.
 
2020-08-09 11:36:47 AM  
As long as the distance is enough that I can't hear my neighbor's TV with the windows closed (which doesn't take that much; maybe 10' max), and I don't have to mow, weed, trim, edge, and otherwise labor over the damned thing, I'm in.  I don't care what it looks like.  If I had the money, I'd put down stones over the whole thing right now.  I hate yardwork.
 
2020-08-09 11:37:30 AM  
mrs bughunter was doing xericultural landscaping before it was cool.

Except for the 15x30' patch of lawn outside the back door, our sprinklers run for four minutes at 4am two days a week during the summers, and not at all in the winter.
 
2020-08-09 11:41:20 AM  
My lawn isn't huge. I do apply weed and feed. I never water, my part of PA gets plenty of rain during the summer to keep it watered. I cut on a higher setting and while my lawn needs to be cut today I'll hold off until the heat that comes in today breaks to prevent killing it and having to water. I have a bunch of flower beds and I try to put native plants and trees in. This year I haven't had much interest in working in the yard so it's a little more over grown with weeds then I normally have. When the heat breaks I'll try to get back out there and clear the beds out.
 
2020-08-09 11:42:35 AM  
When the downfall of America is written, there's going to be a whole chapter just on lawns.  So many resources squandered on something so pointless.
 
2020-08-09 11:43:09 AM  
My yard is full of weeds, a lot of it clover.  However, it still looks nice and green when we have a significant dry spell like we've had this summer.  The only weed I try to get rid of are dandelions, because they spread like COVID-19.
 
2020-08-09 11:44:14 AM  

Izunbacol: phedex: nekom: An interesting thing my grandma told me, when she was a kid they didn't even cut the grass.  They just let the weeds grow and the high traffic areas became paths.  Lawns weren't even a thing not that long ago.

I cut the grass because I don't want snakes and ticks but that's all I do.  Brown spots, crab grass, clover, don't care.

Agreed. Cut it once a week and don't worry about what grows in it.  Some years its all green, some years the rain ain't so great and its kind of dead.  but I sure ain't spending money on "beautifying" it.  Everyone I know that does that ends up spending inordinate amounts of time working on their lawn.. and that shiat just doesnt sound fun to me.

Cut and edge once a week. Use a high setting on the mower.  Lay some weed and feed in the spring.  Overseed when the first week long thunderstorm battery appears.  Water never.  The back yard gets mowed, and that's it.

The flower beds are another story. That's where the real work is - weeding, replacing plants that die for no farking reason, spraying the rose bushes for insects, it never ends.  Lawns are popular because they are extremely low maintenance. The maintenance that is required is about two hours a week mowing, edging, and cleaning the equipment afterwards (this is, I should note, only a 1/3 acre lot, so if you have a large lot, it will be longer).  I don't get the "bwah, but I have to exert myself walking in the yard!"  It's exercise, you can skip one of your workouts and have the lawn as a low impact workout... spend an hour or so pushing a 70 lbs sled around, get your blood flowing, put in your headphones, listen to an interesting podcast or music.  It's good for my mental wellbeing.

Every single one of the yards shown above looks like a maintenance nightmare, but I suppose the real aim is to drum up business for landscapers to both design and maintain the grounds.  Eventually, the grass will take it over anyway.

This is my low maintenance lawn, so I don't know what this great effort is people are putting in:

[Fark user image image 850x484]


Excellent post, Lieutenant Colonel.
 
2020-08-09 11:44:29 AM  
For those that are interested in going with a native landscape check with your local Ag-Extension. They will normally have a list of plants, shrubs, and trees that are native to your area. Most will give instructions on how to get your yard listed as a wildlife habitat too.
 
2020-08-09 11:48:26 AM  
I support any initiative to draw the focus away from lawn obsession. In my neighborhood, you can set your clocks to the sickness.  The lead obsessor kicks it off within 30 seconds of the last raindrop (sometimes during the deluge and occasionally in the dark) and then all the others fall in line.  It seems to rain 3-4 days a week, so a constant hum of engine dominates the remaining few hours of sunlight.

/yeah, I make an effort not to be "that guy," but push the envelope just for kicks.
//it IS yardWORK.
 
2020-08-09 11:50:38 AM  
We have a few of those "Native" lawns around here in Los Angeles.

The same thing happens, with rare exception, every single time someone puts one in:
1. Rip out grass, put in fancy Native diorama
2. You're done - it's beautiful!
3. Do nothing, let it grow uncontrolled, and let leaves from nearby trees accumulate
4. 3 months later - looks like ass
 
2020-08-09 11:56:17 AM  

Izunbacol: phedex: nekom: An interesting thing my grandma told me, when she was a kid they didn't even cut the grass.  They just let the weeds grow and the high traffic areas became paths.  Lawns weren't even a thing not that long ago.

I cut the grass because I don't want snakes and ticks but that's all I do.  Brown spots, crab grass, clover, don't care.

Agreed. Cut it once a week and don't worry about what grows in it.  Some years its all green, some years the rain ain't so great and its kind of dead.  but I sure ain't spending money on "beautifying" it.  Everyone I know that does that ends up spending inordinate amounts of time working on their lawn.. and that shiat just doesnt sound fun to me.

Cut and edge once a week. Use a high setting on the mower.  Lay some weed and feed in the spring.  Overseed when the first week long thunderstorm battery appears.  Water never.  The back yard gets mowed, and that's it.

The flower beds are another story. That's where the real work is - weeding, replacing plants that die for no farking reason, spraying the rose bushes for insects, it never ends.  Lawns are popular because they are extremely low maintenance. The maintenance that is required is about two hours a week mowing, edging, and cleaning the equipment afterwards (this is, I should note, only a 1/3 acre lot, so if you have a large lot, it will be longer).  I don't get the "bwah, but I have to exert myself walking in the yard!"  It's exercise, you can skip one of your workouts and have the lawn as a low impact workout... spend an hour or so pushing a 70 lbs sled around, get your blood flowing, put in your headphones, listen to an interesting podcast or music.  It's good for my mental wellbeing.

Every single one of the yards shown above looks like a maintenance nightmare, but I suppose the real aim is to drum up business for landscapers to both design and maintain the grounds.  Eventually, the grass will take it over anyway.

This is my low maintenance lawn, so I don't know what this great effort is people are putting in:

[Fark user image image 850x484]


I agree. My lawn is incredibly low maintenance.   I water less than 10 times a year.  I cut maybe once a week.  It looks great.  I spend way more time on the flowers and landscaping.   Those are way more work and way more expensive.

If I let things go "wild" I would have six foot tall pricker weeds all over.  The houses I've seen that do that tend to have lots of other maintenance issues too.  Almost like the owners don't or can't give a shiat about their property.

I live next to one such house right now.  For years I have had to trim the trees and weeds growing literally into my upstairs windows, sneak over and spray their wasp nests, dodge the skunks living under the rotted deck.   Now they are trying to sell it and nobody wants it for some reason.....
 
2020-08-09 11:57:35 AM  
Mine is a cross between The Munsters and Malcolm in the Middle.
 
2020-08-09 12:00:06 PM  
You can't tell someone to get off your lawn if you don't have one.
 
2020-08-09 12:03:59 PM  

catmandu: My cousin lived on the family homestead (dairy farm in SW Wisconsin). He converted 2 acres of the pasture to a prairie restoration only using native plants. I loved wandering through there just looking at the flowers and listening to the insects. He ended up putting out a couple beehives in cooperation with a local beekeeper and his share of the honey brought in more income than the pasture land ever did.

For those who think some of the yards featured in TFA look like a lot of work, yes, planning and setting them up is a lot of work but if you choose plants native to your area, maintenance is a breeze. People around here who have done that mostly just cut away dead stuff before the snow falls and every few years divide plants that are growing too well, they don't even water it. If you do a prairie restoration like my cousin, every ten years or so he has the local DNR do a controlled burn.


Begin Lame Story Bro:

I live just outside of Madison and our yard was an absolute shiatshow when we moved in 4 years ago.  Overgrown bushes and invasive trees and plants everywhere, just an absolute mess.  We spent a solid year taking down trees and invasive plants and digging up roots and trying for that perfect yard.  Well, the front is really shaded and rain pools in areas and washes out any attempt at a decent grass front yard.  So, next year the BIL is gonna come down and help us make a giant portion of the front yard into a dense shade plant and flower area.

We just redid the side of our house's walkway so a perennial flower garden is going in there.  We have a back corner of our lot that is useless so another prairie grass and flower area is going in there since our neighbor has a compost system there and the other neighbor has a garden so hopefully that'll work well together.

Then we have our raised garden in another corner that is doing well.  We are gonna add another smaller raised garden next spring as well.  Hell, I'd turn my entire backyard into a garden if I could.  The wife is like "But I want a yard!"  Despite the fact that we don't use our yard for anything.  We have a dog and two cats and no kids so a grass yard isn't essential for us.  I think I'm slowly changing her mind as is her brother that will be helping us.

Anywho, long story short grass is stupid and I'm excited to get more plants.

/end LSB
 
2020-08-09 12:11:17 PM  

Tyrosine: One of my neighbors turned her front lawn into a wildflower / wild grass garden. Now instead of taking 10 minutes to cut her grass once a week she spends a few hours pulling burdock, goldenrod, ragweed, nettle, and sourdock.

I'm open to replacing my lawn with other plants but I'm not signing on for higher maintenance. I already got rid of 3/4 of the flower beds the previous owner had because I'm not spending every weekend pulling weeds. If you've got a native species that provides good ground cover and can outcompete most weed species, at least enough where weeding is an occasional problem in the summer rather than a weekly problem, I'm in.


Put down weed barrier and selectively plant native species, throw down some woodchips.

It *can* be easy and less maintenance if it's done correctly.  Or just let perennial plants go wild, they'll overgrow the weeds.  YMMV and all...
 
2020-08-09 12:15:40 PM  
I've got kids who like to run around barefoot so my only concern about weeds is to destroy the ones with any kind of jagged edges.

Other than that, not much. I'm trying to encourage moss in the shady spots. My son already broke his arm faceplanting on the rock hard clay ground, so bring me more nice soft moss.
 
2020-08-09 12:28:58 PM  

bizzwire: Also, I don't get the reference to 70s' porn.  Should I be watchIng more porn?


Wild bushes versus trimmed or shaved (mowed grass).

Born in 1963. The p*** merely reflected the culture, at least that which they were allowed to show as p*** at the time.
 
2020-08-09 12:31:11 PM  

The Googles Do Nothing: Izunbacol: phedex: nekom: An interesting thing my grandma told me, when she was a kid they didn't even cut the grass.  They just let the weeds grow and the high traffic areas became paths.  Lawns weren't even a thing not that long ago.

I cut the grass because I don't want snakes and ticks but that's all I do.  Brown spots, crab grass, clover, don't care.

Agreed. Cut it once a week and don't worry about what grows in it.  Some years its all green, some years the rain ain't so great and its kind of dead.  but I sure ain't spending money on "beautifying" it.  Everyone I know that does that ends up spending inordinate amounts of time working on their lawn.. and that shiat just doesnt sound fun to me.

Cut and edge once a week. Use a high setting on the mower.  Lay some weed and feed in the spring.  Overseed when the first week long thunderstorm battery appears.  Water never.  The back yard gets mowed, and that's it.

The flower beds are another story. That's where the real work is - weeding, replacing plants that die for no farking reason, spraying the rose bushes for insects, it never ends.  Lawns are popular because they are extremely low maintenance. The maintenance that is required is about two hours a week mowing, edging, and cleaning the equipment afterwards (this is, I should note, only a 1/3 acre lot, so if you have a large lot, it will be longer).  I don't get the "bwah, but I have to exert myself walking in the yard!"  It's exercise, you can skip one of your workouts and have the lawn as a low impact workout... spend an hour or so pushing a 70 lbs sled around, get your blood flowing, put in your headphones, listen to an interesting podcast or music.  It's good for my mental wellbeing.

Every single one of the yards shown above looks like a maintenance nightmare, but I suppose the real aim is to drum up business for landscapers to both design and maintain the grounds.  Eventually, the grass will take it over anyway.

This is my low maintenance lawn, so I don' ...


Dad's lawn is slowly growing.  Once it started sending enough runners into the flowerbeds, he just said 'to hell with it,' pulled up the border, and let it take over.  Easier to run a mower across it than weed it, mulch it, etc.
 
2020-08-09 12:47:41 PM  
We got a postage stamp sized front lawn.  I ripped out about 36 sq ft of it to plant a crabapple tree a few years ago, along with some bulbs and pollinators.

I really want to rip most of the rest of it out and do a faux formal garden with low boxwood hedges to define the edge against the sidewalk and create a semi-private space.
 
2020-08-09 12:48:42 PM  
"they are biodiversity deserts that have contributed to vanishing insect populations "

In Florida, this is a sales pitch
 
2020-08-09 12:53:52 PM  

dr_iacovone: Hi, I'm Harry.  Harry Bush.  Check out my big deck.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/FGMkEfuW​ZHM]


All Three New Zealand Deck Ads (HD Quality)
Youtube tbazGVrbN-g
 
2020-08-09 12:56:51 PM  
I personally prefer my garden to a lawn. A days work in early spring and an hour or two a week, water every other day and its fine. A buddy has a lawn bordered by the front walk and largish rocks. For a while there he'd roll the rocks over yearly and the lawn would fill in. I dont think he has any more room to expand it.
 
2020-08-09 1:03:28 PM  
I ripped my grass out and now have a glacis of decomposed granite. There will be no cover for those attempting siege.
 
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