Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Salon)   "I'm okay with my kids falling behind in school"   (salon.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Debt, Daughter, Anxiety, start of a new school year, younger daughter's high school, older daughter, New York Times, kids start school  
•       •       •

3909 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2020 at 6:50 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



87 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2020-08-09 1:09:40 AM  
Have you considered teaching them? They have these things called workbooks that can help.

/Education happens at home too.
 
2020-08-09 1:22:15 AM  

AlgaeRancher: Have you considered teaching them? They have these things called workbooks that can help.

/Education happens at home too.


The proud tradition of not reading the article lives on.
 
2020-08-09 1:28:21 AM  
We educate our kids too much. It's not that important anymore.
 
2020-08-09 2:35:04 AM  

salsashark1: We educate our kids too much. It's not that important anymore.


Teach them to be Youtube Stars and send them on their way.
 
2020-08-09 4:34:42 AM  
Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate - Coming to America
Youtube KzANAr1V82c


give them a sense... of pride.
 
2020-08-09 6:16:50 AM  

Mare_Imbrium: AlgaeRancher: Have you considered teaching them? They have these things called workbooks that can help.

/Education happens at home too.

The proud tradition of not reading the article lives on.


Algae is not wrong, but yeah I guess they didn't realize that their opinion is what the article is about.
 
2020-08-09 7:05:51 AM  

AlgaeRancher: Have you considered teaching them? They have these things called workbooks that can help.

/Education happens at home too.


The Whitest Kids U Know - Home School
Youtube cFkIJBVZ4_w
 
2020-08-09 7:14:29 AM  
All that and then:

I'm - perhaps foolheartedly - starting a master's degree program in the fall.

Would be curious as to how much they're shelling out for it, and to what end.
 
2020-08-09 7:15:49 AM  
I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?
 
2020-08-09 7:29:08 AM  
It's much better to, "Fall behind" some arbitrary standard than to be dead or permanently
damaged just so some school district flunky can check a box that some number assigned to some kid
they don't really care about showed up to school that day...
 
2020-08-09 7:29:24 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?


Learn to cook meth?

Desperate times can render desperate deeds.
 
2020-08-09 7:31:35 AM  

AlgaeRancher: Have you considered teaching them? They have these things called workbooks that can help.

/Education happens at home too.


And as we know, homeschooling is generally applauded around here.

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?


This.
 
2020-08-09 7:33:41 AM  
Success Factors:

101 - How to hold a candy bar so the police won't shoot you.
102 - What to do when you get shot anyway (dying alternatives).
Lab - Helpful tips - Keeping busy between incarcerations.

1 credit seminar: How imprisoning children at age 14 helps our economy and promotes financial growth!
 
2020-08-09 7:39:16 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?


I wonder if the market for specialized tutors is going to increase.  Like, say a doctor of biology who is currently unemployed and spends most of his time making snarky comments on internet chat forums?
 
2020-08-09 7:40:10 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?


How will they ever learn what is the powerhouse of the cell?
 
2020-08-09 7:43:26 AM  
Even with our many privileges, the meritocracy is still a sham. Basic needs are taking priority over acing the SATs

Stopped reading right there.gif
 
2020-08-09 7:43:45 AM  

salsashark1: We educate our kids too much. It's not that important anymore.


SUPERTRAMP School (lyrics)
Youtube xaGwEe1VqwQ
 
2020-08-09 7:47:53 AM  
OK, I know the initial explanation for how diseases work was calculus-based (flattening the curve etc) and a lot of people who were too dumb to hit the top level of extremely basic math in their high school are for some reason allowed to have children, so here's a complete explanation of this problem in purely arithmetic terms:

1. There are 5 million confirmed cases of COVID-19 infection in the US (meaning... there are many more actual cases, but put that aside for a moment).

2. There are 326 million people in the USA (minus Hawaii, which has its outbreak under control)

3. 5/325 = 1.5% of people in the USA are infected with COVID-19.

4.    1.5% is roughly 1 in 70.

5(conclusion): If your school-building has 70 or more people in it, including janitors, lunch servers, secretaries, etc... someone in the building more or less definitely has it.  The way transmission works, after weeks sharing that enclosed space, your kid is very likely to get it.

Do.  Not.  Send.  Your.  Kid.  To.  A.  Physical.  School.

// Technically there's a 63% chance of someone having in a 70-person school it but I was promising to simplify the math to "stupid enough you shouldn't have been allowed to raise a child in the first place" levels, which is to say the level of anyone considering this in the first place.  Since most schools have around 500-1000 people in them and larger county schools common in the country often have 2k+ in the same building...
 
2020-08-09 7:48:05 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?


Yep. Having two kids under five has been tough during this because of obvious reasons, but I can handle letters, numbers, reading, intro to bugs and plants and mud, and that type of stuff. Having older kids would be much more difficult when it comes to schooling.
 
2020-08-09 7:49:09 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?


My wife and I have 3 graduate degrees between us that range the gamut of hard science, law and business.  If any couple of is in position to do this you would think it would be us.  Our oldest is in AP Bio, some kind of advanced literature class (I don't know the real name of it because they only call it by the acronym), and algebra II among several others.  I have no idea how we are going to help her and her two younger brothers while simultaneously working our own jobs.

I think it is going to involve a lot of bourbon.
 
2020-08-09 7:49:24 AM  

born_yesterday: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?

I wonder if the market for specialized tutors is going to increase.  Like, say a doctor of biology who is currently unemployed and spends most of his time making snarky comments on internet chat forums?


I've been urging my friends who are teachers and not wanting to go back to the classroom to start a tutoring company. Or micro-classrooms with families who pool resources.

There's a market there, for sure.
 
2020-08-09 7:50:31 AM  

The Weary Optimist: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?

My wife and I have 3 graduate degrees between us that range the gamut of hard science, law and business.  If any couple of is in position to do this you would think it would be us.  Our oldest is in AP Bio, some kind of advanced literature class (I don't know the real name of it because they only call it by the acronym), and algebra II among several others.  I have no idea how we are going to help her and her two younger brothers while simultaneously working our own jobs.

I think it is going to involve a lot of bourbon.


The MBA negates one of the other degrees, so you're good.
 
2020-08-09 7:53:07 AM  

holdmybones: The Weary Optimist: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?

My wife and I have 3 graduate degrees between us that range the gamut of hard science, law and business.  If any couple of is in position to do this you would think it would be us.  Our oldest is in AP Bio, some kind of advanced literature class (I don't know the real name of it because they only call it by the acronym), and algebra II among several others.  I have no idea how we are going to help her and her two younger brothers while simultaneously working our own jobs.

I think it is going to involve a lot of bourbon.

The MBA negates one of the other degrees, so you're good.


Lol.  I agree with that.  Fortunately, someone else paid for that one.
 
2020-08-09 8:00:46 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?


Bio and Chem at that level are mostly exercises in memorization (Biology especially), online learning should be pretty compatible.

The extra trick making that doable is that "AP" is actually a nationally-standardized set of standards with very consistent testing schema (like literally every subject should be, but I digress).  This makes it extra amenable to things like canned lectures and study with limited interactive instruction.

The only thing you'll miss are the traditional laboratory portions, which is sad because those are the fun bits but not strictly necessary to the curriculum.  Useful, but not so vital that I'd risk the literal death of a child to teach them.

I mean... the final answer here is just try what you can, and if it doesn't work hold them back a grade.  Even with our shiatty health care non-system on average your kid will make it 73 years if they don't die of the plague, soaking one extra year or semester into the free part of their education will not harm them comparatively.

// The big loss here is actually stuff like English and History.  Teaching those properly is very difficult without a lot of instructor feedback, and instructor feedback (e.g. discussion sections) in sufficient detail and speed to be useful is inherently awkward with distance learning.  I can grade a stack of 150 Chemistry papers in a matter of hours with enough notes to tell everyone exactly what they did wrong and right, because there's a pretty set 'correct' answer and as a grader I can basically 'turn my brain off' for it.  Not so much papers formed of even short-form English essay questions.
 
2020-08-09 8:01:38 AM  

The Weary Optimist: holdmybones: The Weary Optimist: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?

My wife and I have 3 graduate degrees between us that range the gamut of hard science, law and business.  If any couple of is in position to do this you would think it would be us.  Our oldest is in AP Bio, some kind of advanced literature class (I don't know the real name of it because they only call it by the acronym), and algebra II among several others.  I have no idea how we are going to help her and her two younger brothers while simultaneously working our own jobs.

I think it is going to involve a lot of bourbon.

The MBA negates one of the other degrees, so you're good.

Lol.  I agree with that.  Fortunately, someone else paid for that one.


Ha. That's usually the case, I've noticed. My FiL teaches an MBA program, so I'm just teasing (mostly).

I'm the least educated member of my wife's side of our family, and the most educated on my side. I was going to make a similar joke, that we have three advanced degrees, I just don't have any of them.
 
2020-08-09 8:08:53 AM  
My reading of the article is "America is on fire right now. It doesn't actually matter what you do."

Which is pretty accurate - the best thing you can do in America right now is stay safe and wait for the borders to reopen so you can emigrate somewhere with healthcare and a job market.
 
2020-08-09 8:09:25 AM  
OK, I know this is going to sound radical, socialist even but what if we just introduce grade 13.
If you miss a year at school, we don't give you a pass, we don't hold you back, you just go to grade 13.
The last 2 classes in your last semester are a prep for University.

I know

/Won't ever work
//Went to grade 13
///Still graduated at 18
 
2020-08-09 8:17:31 AM  

kukukupo: Even with our many privileges, the meritocracy is still a sham. Basic needs are taking priority over acing the SATs

Stopped reading right there.gif


Why?  It was a pretty good article.
 
2020-08-09 8:18:39 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?


Well, first off, they would have called your kid demitasse.

//I'll show myself out
 
2020-08-09 8:18:50 AM  

halifaxdatageek: My reading of the article is "America is on fire right now. It doesn't actually matter what you do."

Which is pretty accurate - the best thing you can do in America right now is stay safe and wait for the borders to reopen so you can emigrate somewhere with healthcare and a job market.


I'm curious.   As far as emigration assistance, the only resource I can think of offhand is a particular country's embassy.  Is anyone aware of or used a private firm to assist?  Or a reliable international jobs finder?
 
2020-08-09 8:20:08 AM  

The Weary Optimist: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?

My wife and I have 3 graduate degrees between us that range the gamut of hard science, law and business.  If any couple of is in position to do this you would think it would be us.  Our oldest is in AP Bio, some kind of advanced literature class (I don't know the real name of it because they only call it by the acronym), and algebra II among several others.  I have no idea how we are going to help her and her two younger brothers while simultaneously working our own jobs.

I think it is going to involve a lot of bourbon.


the way everything gets done with a family.  You just do it.  You will figure out a way to make it work.
 
2020-08-09 8:23:13 AM  

born_yesterday: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?

I wonder if the market for specialized tutors is going to increase.  Like, say a doctor of biology who is currently unemployed and spends most of his time making snarky comments on internet chat forums?


Orrrr two of them?

/sad fist bump
 
2020-08-09 8:23:50 AM  
I don't mind the kids being in virtual learning.

I am privileged to be able to work from home. But I cannot "watch" them with my job. (Luckily they are 10 and 14 so I don't have to be on them. I do have to be on the older one so she gets her work done. The 10 year old this will be her first experience with this. )

But I think about the mom who works at Subway and her kid. And the dad who is a roofer with his two kids.

What the hell are they going to do?
 
2020-08-09 8:26:15 AM  
I tried to read the article and failed to discern the author's point out of that long rant.  Is it that "falling behind" doesn't matter because the system is rigged / society is collapsing, therefore education doesn't matter?
 
2020-08-09 8:27:29 AM  

Ambitwistor: I tried to read the article and failed to discern the author's point out of that long rant.  Is it that "falling behind" doesn't matter because the system is rigged / society is collapsing, therefore education doesn't matter?


That was pretty much my take on it, yeah.
 
2020-08-09 8:30:00 AM  

Fishbulb30w: OK, I know this is going to sound radical, socialist even but what if we just introduce grade 13.
If you miss a year at school, we don't give you a pass, we don't hold you back, you just go to grade 13.
The last 2 classes in your last semester are a prep for University.

I know

/Won't ever work
//Went to grade 13
///Still graduated at 18


Freshman year in college IS grade 13.  Same level of thought, but with 3 fewer hours of school, and with more drugs, alcohol, and nudity.

/One of the author's points was about higher education debt, so maybe just do 13th grade at a CC or a local state school
 
2020-08-09 8:34:42 AM  

Naido: All that and then:

I'm - perhaps foolheartedly - starting a master's degree program in the fall.

Would be curious as to how much they're shelling out for it, and to what end.


Unless they are learning to code, they're making a big mistake.

It's not like there's a future in writing for Salon.
 
2020-08-09 8:35:12 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?


Read one chapter ahead of their kids.
 
2020-08-09 8:40:55 AM  

Ambitwistor: I tried to read the article and failed to discern the author's point out of that long rant.  Is it that "falling behind" doesn't matter because the system is rigged / society is collapsing, therefore education doesn't matter?


I think they are just trying to make themselves feel better about their own failings.

I mean, working for Salon is a step above BuzzFeed, but probably not as good cocktail banter as saying you work for Vox.

I mean, at least Vox also has YouTube content in which 20-something white women explain things to you that you can easily learn through Wikipedia and five minutes of googling.
 
2020-08-09 8:47:49 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?


Give him a bible and beat him every few hours?

Tell me I'm wrong.
 
2020-08-09 8:47:58 AM  
What's going to happen will be similar to Pre-K.

Kids in Pre-K are ahead of kids who don't attend. However as time goes on the gap shrinks and eventually there's no difference in scores by like fourth or fifth grade.  The kids who are "behind" catch up.

Some of these kids are going to have some gaps from online learning. They'll get filled in later in the year, or in later years. 2-3 years from now you won't see differences in the test scores of 5th graders from pre and post covid
 
2020-08-09 8:52:19 AM  
How hard can teaching be?  Just put some books in front of your four year old and turn on a youtube video and they'll be reading Joyce in no time.  Sure..

Practically every country is sending their primary school children back to school.  Some never stopped.  Children are at vanishingly small risk due to COVID.  In my state there are >8000 deaths.  Zero of those were to people under 19.

Yes, there is some risk to their families, but the risk of stunting development needs to be balanced against this.  Kids who miss out on early ed never catch up.  Should we sacrifice the future of these kids?
 
2020-08-09 8:53:40 AM  
Well, God bless Jesus.
Please. Proceed to breed.
 
2020-08-09 8:53:53 AM  

Jim_Callahan: 1. There are 5 million confirmed cases of COVID-19 infection in the US (meaning... there are many more actual cases, but put that aside for a moment).

2. There are 326 million people in the USA (minus Hawaii, which has its outbreak under control)

3. 5/325 = 1.5% of people in the USA are infected with COVID-19.


There have been 5m confirmed cases. Almost everyone diagnosed more than a week ago will no longer have it, so it would be better to use the 385,000 positive tests over the past week (Worldometers), which is around 1 in 850. Assuming that about 1 in 10 infected people are tested (a figure I pulled out of my arse) that would be 1 in 85.

You're farked. Random swab testing in the UK has us at about 1 in 1,200.

Of course that's not the whole story, because clearly the infections are not evenly spread. In some places schools will be absolutely fine and in some places they absolutely should not be opening for a considerable time.
 
2020-08-09 8:57:37 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm extremely lucky that Lil' Coffee is at an age where we're still working on letters and numbers and I actually can teach him a bit using workbooks and online content. What the hell do parents of high school juniors in AP Biology or Chemistry do?


It shouldn't be too big a problem. There are lots of good textbooks and websites out there, so all they have to do is help their children use these resources effectively. Using teachers to transmit knowledge is a very inefficient way of doing things.

The problem arises when the parents don't have experience of studying anything to that level themselves, or when they dir but were so spoon fed that they never had to develop effective study skills.
 
2020-08-09 9:01:00 AM  

Jim_Callahan: // The big loss here is actually stuff like English and History. Teaching those properly is very difficult without a lot of instructor feedback, and instructor feedback (e.g. discussion sections) in sufficient detail and speed to be useful is inherently awkward with distance learning.


You can still do an awful lot by simply reading the stuff and making sure that it's well written with clear arguments, good structure and so on. It may be completely wrong, but facts come from elsewhere.
 
2020-08-09 9:02:20 AM  
For those that DNRTFA:

If you are behind on "structured" education you can catch up later

If you are dead from COVID  catch up lessons are really expensive and difficult to arrange.

Don't all pretend to be so farking obtuse.
 
2020-08-09 9:07:06 AM  

silo123j: But I think about the mom who works at Subway and her kid. And the dad who is a roofer with his two kids.

What the hell are they going to do?


That's why schools should re-open if at all possible, and why "Just close them" is a very bad option. In fact there are two reasons. First of all, people with low income jobs are less likely to be able to afford alternative childcare and therefore more likely to need to take time off work, or leave it altogether. Secondly, school forms a far larger part of the educational experience for poorer children and they suffer more without it.

There are certainly times and places where closing schools is the right thing to do, but it must be recognised that closure is not cost-free and that the costs fall most heavily on the poorest.
 
2020-08-09 9:15:33 AM  

vudukungfu: Well, God bless Jesus.
Please. Proceed to breed.


You have a lot to say about people "breeding", especially Latin people.
 
2020-08-09 9:15:52 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size



Teach your children woodworking.
 
Displayed 50 of 87 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.