Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fox News)   Fark Ready Headline: Man bitten by shark in Florida compares it to previous attack by alligator   (foxnews.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Attack, New York City, Attack!, Sharks, English-language films, Bull shark, Oceanic whitetip shark, Fox Broadcasting Company  
•       •       •

1258 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2020 at 3:46 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



20 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-05 2:57:13 PM  
When asked about his future plans, the man replied he hopes one day to go to Africa and get bit by a lion
 
2020-08-05 3:48:34 PM  
If he gets bitten by a junkie, then he passes the three challenges to become King of Florida.
 
2020-08-05 3:53:42 PM  
i was ready for this to be an Australia story

reporter: What was it like to be bit by the dangerous deadly animal?

Australian: Well it compares  to these other deadly animal bites like this...
 
2020-08-05 4:00:26 PM  
"...which is way worse than those wimpy piranhas, but not nearly as bad as that time with the killer bees."
 
2020-08-05 4:00:39 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: If he gets bitten by a junkie, then he passes the three challenges to become King of Florida.


If he survives getting bitten by a junkie
 
2020-08-05 4:01:07 PM  

PvtStash: i was ready for this to be an Australia story

reporter: What was it like to be bit by the dangerous deadly animal?

Australian: Well it compares  to these other deadly animal bites like this...


Worse than a goanna, not as bad as a black mamba.  (Steve Irwin voice)
 
2020-08-05 4:02:09 PM  
Crikey.
 
2020-08-05 4:02:41 PM  
so a typical FL Fox viewer
 
2020-08-05 4:04:25 PM  
FTA: "...Stuller said. "I saw a fish that was not doing so well in the water so I went to tuck it off and as I tucked the fish off, came to the surface..."

What? What does that even mean? Also: Phrasing
Also also, why the hell are they pixelating gore? It can't possibly be as bad as the road rash I got two weeks ago.
 
2020-08-05 4:06:05 PM  
Mr. Scaramanga said he was looking forward to standing his ground against James Bond.
 
2020-08-05 4:06:47 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: If he gets bitten by a junkie, then he passes the three challenges to become King of Florida.


The three tasks of Ass Trix.
 
2020-08-05 4:15:14 PM  
But how does it compare to a stingray?  Crikey.
 
2020-08-05 4:16:50 PM  

Ambitwistor: But how does it compare to a stingray?  Crikey.


Not as heartbreaking.
 
2020-08-05 4:22:51 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size


Maybe he should stop doing that.
 
2020-08-05 4:32:07 PM  

thespindrifter: FTA: "...Stuller said. "I saw a fish that was not doing so well in the water so I went to tuck it off and as I tucked the fish off, came to the surface..."

What? What does that even mean? Also: Phrasing
Also also, why the hell are they pixelating gore? It can't possibly be as bad as the road rash I got two weeks ago.


mensjournal.comView Full Size


What "tucking off" may look like.
 
2020-08-05 4:38:12 PM  
Still nothing compared to what his ex-wife gnawed off in the divorce

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 5:34:36 PM  
My life is pretty boring....I've only been bitten by cats and dogs.

/And a woman.
 
2020-08-05 6:07:48 PM  
It it wasn't for bad luck, he wouldn't have any luck at all.
 
2020-08-05 7:17:51 PM  
"You aint here for the huntin', are ya?"
 
2020-08-05 9:54:31 PM  
This Florida, next he will be struck by lightning.
 
Displayed 20 of 20 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.