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(The Daily Beast)   So, remember that whole Jacob Wohl-USAID press-conference thing? It's going about as well as you thought it would   (thedailybeast.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Request for Comments, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, Twitter, Public relations, Accusation, The Daily Beast, Anti-Christian sentiment, News conference  
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4056 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Aug 2020 at 8:33 AM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-08-05 8:45:42 AM  
57 votes:
Nothing will ever be funnier than Wohl accusing 70 year old Elizabeth Warren of f*cking a 24 year old Marine so hard she broke him and then her tweeting this:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 8:42:40 AM  
31 votes:
A legacy unmarred by success.
 
2020-08-05 8:44:42 AM  
29 votes:
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2020-08-05 8:40:35 AM  
26 votes:
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/Pick Flick Corrigan!
 
2020-08-05 8:35:01 AM  
26 votes:
"Corrigan, who is/was apparently dating Wohl, "

Lol. Wohl has a beard.
 
2020-08-05 8:30:10 AM  
23 votes:
Are their flys up or down this time around?  This is important.
 
2020-08-05 8:49:08 AM  
20 votes:

SuburbanCowboy: [Fark user image 575x369]


POTUS 46?  So, Joe Biden?

Some of these people are such idiots.  They think Trump will be both the 45th and 46th president if he gets reelected  /facepalm
 
2020-08-05 8:47:09 AM  
18 votes:
"Corrigan, who is/was apparently dating Wohl, "


Is there some sort of fetish among women for shined up douchenozzles that live with their parents?
 
2020-08-05 8:45:03 AM  
14 votes:

PainInTheASP: [Fark user image image 850x566]

/Pick Flick Corrigan!


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Leave Billy Corgan alone!
 
2020-08-05 9:02:02 AM  
11 votes:

LesserEvil: In a just world, Wohl and Burkman would be spending the rest of their lives behind bars for their felony-level asshattery.

In this world, we are surprised they haven't been handed cabinet positions by Trump.


2020 says that Jacob Wohl will be confirmed as Supreme Court Justice to replace RBG after the election.
 
WGJ [TotalFark]
2020-08-05 10:15:13 AM  
9 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

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Looks like the Dick Tracy character Flattop
 
2020-08-05 9:42:38 AM  
9 votes:

GregInIndy: Wohl will eventually end up in prison and/or sued into a life of eternal poverty.

He is literally too stupid to avoid it.


He's going to be found apparently beaten to death in a lavatory, with only a single door which was bolted from the inside at the time.

After speaking to everyone who knew Jacob the coroner will eventually conclude that he tried to tie his shoelace and it went badly.
 
2020-08-05 8:35:35 AM  
9 votes:
I was hacked!!

Updated version of the dog ate my homework
 
2020-08-05 8:21:45 AM  
7 votes:
That was a goddamn mess.
 
2020-08-05 9:50:35 AM  
5 votes:
Toby, come quick!  Jacob's getting his ass kicked by a girl!

Ginger, get the popcorn!
 
2020-08-05 9:52:43 AM  
4 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 8:47:32 AM  
4 votes:
A woman being used as a prop to further some wackass agenda...

Wild unfounded accusations that later turn out to be false...

A witness/victim who will blow the lid on everything, but backs out just before the "press conference"...

So, in other words, a typical Jacob Wohl "operation"
 
2020-08-05 11:02:51 AM  
3 votes:

The Cab Guy: Jacob Wohl.

The man who would be Roger Stone, except he doesn't have a fraction of the intelligence, connections, wit, or charm of the Nixonback Gorilla..

Just think. In 2032, Jacob will be eligible to run for President!


Less charm than Roger Stone..?

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/ not saying you're wrong, but bloody hell!
 
2020-08-05 9:16:59 AM  
3 votes:

PainInTheASP: [Fark user image 850x566]

/Pick Flick Corrigan!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 8:56:04 AM  
3 votes:
Jacob Wohl.

The man who would be Roger Stone, except he doesn't have a fraction of the intelligence, connections, wit, or charm of the Nixonback Gorilla..

Just think. In 2032, Jacob will be eligible to run for President!
 
2020-08-05 8:39:43 AM  
3 votes:
Corrigan, who is/was apparently dating Wohl,

You are really dumb, for real.
 
2020-08-05 8:24:38 AM  
3 votes:
I guess i missed the memo. Oh darn.
 
2020-08-05 1:40:47 PM  
2 votes:

Mikey1969: Isn't she the one who chained herself to the door at Twitter HQ for some dumb reason?


And had to be rescued by the police because she threw her key away and had to pee really bad after Twitter refused to file charges against her.
 
2020-08-05 1:19:30 PM  
2 votes:

Mikey1969: Ishkur: Mikey1969: thorpe: [pbs.twimg.com image 768x1024]

What is that? She's got a folder in her hand. Is it supposed to be important, or is this just a picture of these two dweebs together?

That's Laura Loomer.

She's nuttier than squirrel shiat.

ooooh, that biatch... Isn't she the one who chained herself to the door at Twitter HQ for some dumb reason?

She had some other publicity stunt, too, IIRC.

Yeah, biatch is farking insane. No arguments there... Probably no coincidence that her last name is so close to being 'Loony'.


What was hilarious about that was she chained herself to only one half of the double doors and didn't being a key, thinking they would call the cops and get her kicked off the property and arrested. When the cops did come Twitter said "nah, let her stay" and he had farked herself. She brought no food or water, had no plan to get herself unchained, and was constantly heckled by passerby's.
 
2020-08-05 10:49:56 AM  
2 votes:
Has Andy Kaufman appeared there as Elvis yet?
 
2020-08-05 9:58:25 AM  
2 votes:

GregInIndy: Wohl will eventually end up in prison and/or sued into a life of eternal poverty.

He is literally too stupid to avoid it.


I admire your optimism, but I think we both know that he will simply fail upwards, until in 2060, President Kanye West pardons him for egregious campaign fraud, and he poses his skinny, wrinkly, muscle-less body for the cameras to show off the Donald Trump tattoo between his protruding shoulderblades.
 
2020-08-05 9:47:52 AM  
2 votes:

pueblonative: "Corrigan, who is/was apparently dating Wohl, "


Is there some sort of fetish among women for shined up douchenozzles that live with their parents?


So that'swhat  I've been doing wrong!
 
2020-08-05 9:25:18 AM  
2 votes:

ReluctantLondon: pueblonative: "Corrigan, who is/was apparently dating Wohl, "


Is there some sort of fetish among women for shined up douchenozzles that live with their parents?

If their is, I obviously need to work on the "being a shined up douchenozzle" - although I'll admit I'm not certain what that means... - part of it :/

/ Adds "people who commit securities fraud that leads to the suicide of an investor" to the Big List of People Who Can't Get a Date When You Can't 😢
// Yes, the emoji is a part of the title


*their/there
*Can't[1]/Can

/ I'm not that dumb, really :/
 
2020-08-05 2:59:07 PM  
1 vote:

jayphat: What was hilarious about that was she chained herself to only one half of the double doors and didn't being a key, thinking they would call the cops and get her kicked off the property and arrested. When the cops did come Twitter said "nah, let her stay" and he had farked herself. She brought no food or water, had no plan to get herself unchained, and was constantly heckled by passerby's.


And swore she'd never leave. After several hours of people heckling her, Twitter saying "let her stay", and Twitter employees using the other door to walk in and out right past her she had to ask the cops to cut her chain so she could go pee.
 
2020-08-05 12:18:03 PM  
1 vote:

jayphat: This is the Agency for International Development. They should be talking about food parcels, not arse spraying mayhem. What is this, the shiatting forecast?

Wait, I'm sorry, I'm in the wrong comedy. Reality is more of a nightmare.


That Axios interview could have worked equally well on The Thick of It or Veep.  It sounded exactly like Iannucci scripted it out.
 
2020-08-05 11:07:30 AM  
1 vote:
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 10:26:13 AM  
1 vote:
The appearance of Wohl and Burkman usually signals the end of an episode in our real life reality show. Lots of cliffhangers this time.
 
2020-08-05 10:11:32 AM  
1 vote:
Jacob Wohl is the gift that keeps on giving. Like having a birthday and christmas rolled into one. And it goes on 365 days a year.
 
2020-08-05 9:42:12 AM  
1 vote:

Cake Hunter: That was a goddamn mess.


I know. Who the fark wrote that garbage? They never explained where all of these statements were made. Were they all made from her supposedly compromised phone, or did she make some public statements not on her phone? Jesus, that writing was all over the farking place.

Of course, in the end, it doesn't matter, because we all know that the answer is that Wohl is a complete moron anyway.
 
2020-08-05 9:32:24 AM  
1 vote:

thurstonxhowell: She thinks women shouldn't have power, and, to be fair, the woman she knows best absolutely shouldn't.


she's eventually going to become Pam Geller who is the right wing equivalent of Mary Kay Letourneau, someone so crazy her ex husband and children from that marraige went no contact.
 
2020-08-05 9:19:37 AM  
1 vote:

pueblonative: "Corrigan, who is/was apparently dating Wohl, "


Is there some sort of fetish among women for shined up douchenozzles that live with their parents?


If their is, I obviously need to work on the "being a shined up douchenozzle" - although I'll admit I'm not certain what that means... - part of it :/

/ Adds "people who commit securities fraud that leads to the suicide of an investor" to the Big List of People Who Can't Get a Date When You Can't 😢
// Yes, the emoji is a part of the title
 
2020-08-05 9:06:33 AM  
1 vote:
She thinks women shouldn't have power, and, to be fair, the woman she knows best absolutely shouldn't.
 
2020-08-05 8:59:17 AM  
1 vote:
Who? What? Is this some sort of pitch for a new reality TV show? Is there any reason anybody should give a shiat about any of this?
 
2020-08-05 8:54:43 AM  
1 vote:
Is he still living at his folks house in VA cause I have some free time next week and really have the urge to punch his face.
 
2020-08-05 8:53:56 AM  
1 vote:
Either these Forrest Gump-level lucky (enough to find themselves surrounded by important people while ALSO avoiding consequences for breaking the law) idiots are too incompetent to order coffee, or every single conspiracy theory has been exposed as farking impossible.

// like, did The New Conservatism just think those things could happen, and the conspiracy would self-reinforce?
// like, you make the bombastic "Liz Warren is a sex fiend! I have proof!" claim, and then think just by virtue of having made the claim, it'll stand against the slightest breeze of scrutiny?
// I get it, conservatives are easily duped into believing the things they already believe; but how in the world did they think "The Liberal Media" was going to play along (especially if all you have a note signed by "Epstein's mother")?
 
2020-08-05 8:51:56 AM  
1 vote:

pueblonative: Is there some sort of fetish among women for shined up douchenozzles that live with their parents?


She's a fundy.

They're already broken.
 
2020-08-05 8:47:15 AM  
1 vote:

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: Have to be a member to read it - can someone copypasta bitte?


Not a member, but a frontend developer :-)

===== article =====
This May Be The Most Absurd, Trumpian Drama Ever
SERIOUSLY THIS TIME, WTF?
Accusations of stalking, prostitution, and racism are merely the appetizer. The main course features Jacob Wohl and claims of falsified tweets and stolen phones.

The federal agency primarily responsible for the distribution of foreign aid has been roiled in recent days by the most Trumpian of dramas, one involving an anti-LGBT political appointee, blundering conservative operative Jacob Wohl, accusations of stalking, prostitution, and the potential hiring of a young conservative with past racist writings.
The chaos seemed set to crest with a slap-dash press conference scheduled for this Thursday. But within a day of the presser's announcement, the main protagonist was apparently recanting her accusations and insinuating that Wohl had stolen her phone and signed into her Twitter account to send the offending messages that set off the fireworks that got her fired.
The setting of the entire mess was the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), an agency known largely as a bit of a backwater when it comes to the government's foreign policy apparatus, but one with a $16.8 billion foreign aid budget. On Monday a political appointee and deputy White House liaison there, Merritt Corrigan, took to Twitter to accuse her employer of "anti-Christian" bias.
Corrigan's appointment at USAID has been under fire for months over anti-gay tweets she made in 2019 and 2020, including accusing the United States of being a "homo-empire" devoted to a "tyrannical LGBT agenda," tweeting that "female empowerment is a civilizational calamity," and advocating for the creation of a "Christian patriarchy." But on Monday, her targets were both USAID itself and House Foreign Relations Affairs Committee Chair Eliot Engel (D-NY), whom she accused of soliciting prostitutes. As Corrigan's initial tweets went up, she claimed USAID gave her a 3 p.m. deadline to resign or be fired. When the deadline passed, Corrigan said she was fired.
On its own, the episode was bizarre. But then it got much weirder.
Corrigan, who is/was apparently dating Wohl, announced that she'd be appearing Thursday in front of Wohl associate Jack Burkman's Northern Virginia house-a site that has previously hosted farcical attempts to smear Sens. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) and Kamala Harris (D-CA) with lurid sexual allegations. There, she would further denounce USAID, accuse a Politico reporter who covered her resignation of stalking her, and demand that Engel debate her and Burkman. In a press release announcing the press conference, Burkman and Wohl claimed that Wohl, who is currently facing two felony charges related to security sales in California, had "been working behind the scenes with Corrigan for months."
Engel's office did not return a request for comment. And, perhaps, for good reason. The accusations have no proof or merit, and as the story unfolded it became increasingly difficult to get a read on where the truth actually began and the innuendo and smears ended.
On Tuesday afternoon, Corrigan deleted her tweets attacking USAID and stopped responding to messages from The Daily Beast. Wohl claimed in an interview Tuesday that a coterie of Trumpworld personalities had convinced Corrigan to backtrack on her claims. And Burkman claimed that Corrigan had "buyer's remorse" after sending her tweets.
"Somebody does something and then they regret it," Burkman said.
But later in the day, a conduit sent a statement from Corrigan herself that was darker in implication. Corrigan now claimed she'd become the pawn of individuals who had attempted to "ruin" her.
"I would like to apologize," it read. "Especially to the people who have been affected or hurt by the messages sent from my Twitter account, and the claims made in my name over the past 24 hours. I did NOT send these messages, and while I vehemently protested about them being sent in my name, my devices were not in my control. I see now that I was part of an abusive scheme and I was used to attack people that have nothing to do with me.
"I will not be participating in any press conferences as claimed in my name, and will have nothing to do with individuals who forced me to hand over my devices so they could control me and the output in my name. Due to naivete and inexperience, I became involved with people who abused my trust, conned me, and claimed they were working in my interest. I became powerless in a situation, and I deeply regret not reaching out to people who knew better, or could help me."
Corrigan is far from the first Wohl associate to bail on one of his press conferences. But she does appear to be the first to have formally held such a high post at a government agency. And her drama illustrates the degree to which the once-staid USAID has become a stomping grounds for a twisted, absurdist circus involving Trumpian figures who despise one another and are notorious for trying to conduct botched operations against their political foes.
Prior to the apparent change of course, Corrigan had also made one other noteworthy assertion-that USAID was set to hire yet another controversial political appointment: conservative personality Kyle Kashuv, whose admission to Harvard was revoked last year over racist remarks he made in high school.
Kashuv, a survivor of the 2018 Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting in Parkland, Florida, rose to fame on the right in the aftermath of the shooting as a conservative counterweight to pro-gun control Parkland students. Kashuv's opposition to the gun control measures pushed by his classmates earned him a visit to the White House, and a position at conservative campus group Turning Point USA. Along the way, Kashuv antagonized Wohl and some of his right-wing associates for actions like criticizing anti-Muslim activist Laura Loomer for wearing a Nazi-era Jewish star to protest her Twitter ban.
But Kashuv's star on the right imploded in May 2019, when he was exposed by a fellow classmate for writing racist messages and Google Doc notes. In one text message, Kashuv complained that a classmate dated "ni**erjocks." In the aftermath of the reporting on Kashuv's remarks, Harvard revoked Kashuv's admission to its undergraduate class.
Corrigan claims Kashuv has been offered a political appointment to be a special assistant to USAID Deputy Administrator Bonnie Glick, after initially being considered for a congressional liaison position. That job offer, she adds, was one point of disagreement with her fellow USAID officials that ultimately led to her speaking out against the agency.
"I don't believe that he's a real conservative, and his prior media was going to bring a lot of negativity to USAID," Corrigan told The Daily Beast.
The Daily Beast wasn't able to confirm that Kashuv has been offered a position at USAID, but did obtain a document dated July 31 purporting to be an offer letter from USAID, offering Kashuv a position with roughly $50,000 annual salary as an assistant to Glick, pending a security clearance. The purported offer letter to Kashuv listed the phone number of a USAID employee. When a reporter for The Daily Beast called the number, the woman who answered identified herself as a USAID employee but refused to answer questions about the letter.
"I'm sorry, I can't answer your call," the woman said, before hanging up.
USAID declined repeated requests to comment on whether the agency had offered Kashuv a position, but a spokesperson said USAID would investigate "any complaints of anti-Christian bias" made by Corrigan.
Kashuv didn't respond to multiple requests for comment. Glick, who called Kashuv a "rockstar" in a May tweet, also didn't respond to requests for comment.
===== article =====
 
2020-08-05 8:47:11 AM  
1 vote:

SuburbanCowboy: [Fark user image image 575x369]


Wonder where those hands moved to after the Director said, "cut?"
 
2020-08-05 7:46:37 AM  
1 vote:
How are these farkers not in prison?
 
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