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(DeadState)   According to this guy, if you vote for Biden, you have "Sold your soul to the devil"   (deadstate.org) divider line
    More: Ironic, Catholic Church, Roman Catholic Church, Christian terms, Joe Biden, Christianity, Fox Business, host Lou Dobbs, Soul  
•       •       •

2389 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Aug 2020 at 12:30 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-08-04 6:19:20 PM  
68 votes:
Same guy:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 9:09:36 PM  
55 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 12:32:58 AM  
53 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 12:33:59 AM  
34 votes:
There's a black hole in this guy's shirt and it's sucking his head in through his collar.

deadstate.orgView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 8:28:10 PM  
24 votes:
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 12:34:27 AM  
14 votes:
Gee, and I don't even get demon sex out of it?

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


How about a demon backrub, at least.
 
2020-08-05 12:44:32 AM  
13 votes:

tonguedepressor: What is the going rate for an everlasting soul anyway?


Three fiddy
 
2020-08-04 6:11:17 PM  
11 votes:
I didn't sell it, I offered it freely and willingly.
 
2020-08-04 7:04:14 PM  
9 votes:
I'm leasing it to the devil, because I get a better ROI that way.
 
2020-08-04 9:55:01 PM  
6 votes:

bloobeary: Y'ever notice that the people who act like they're getting into heaven are people who it would be pure hell to spend all eternity with?


The same ones who think the walls are lined with gold--as if angels would ever surround themselves with that shiatty reminder of suffering. Probably also think heaven will have crosses everywhere, because, as Bill Hicks pointed out, that's the last farking thing anyone executed on a cross would ever want to see again.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 8:24:48 AM  
5 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 8:24:28 AM  
5 votes:
arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-bostonglobe.s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 8:09:22 AM  
5 votes:

Langdon_777: I take this turd isn't up to date with the Lucifer series.  He has changed a lot since the Garden of Eden.


It wasn't even Lucifer in the Garden, just one of his subordinates.
pmcvariety.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 2:11:47 AM  
5 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 1:01:59 AM  
5 votes:
I got no love, no love you'd call real.
 
2020-08-05 1:01:23 AM  
5 votes:

gameshowhost: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/fgcWOzau​LxI?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]

Sounds of Hell?


I kept waiting for the payoff...

Left disappointed.

Here.

26 Babies Vomit In 60 Seconds
Youtube KlMZY77BeUQ
 
2020-08-05 12:44:38 AM  
5 votes:

saturn badger: At least he seems more sane than the guy who has a recording of Satan's voice. He didn't say how he got it. I can only assume Satan was calling him to tell him to fark off and stop using his name in vain in a voice mail or something.

While there are no recordings of Satan's voice on Millington's website, he does have a recording of a "demon" - which basically sounds like someone speaking incoherently into a rubber hose.

https://deadstate.org/christian-author​-claims-to-have-first-ever-recording-o​f-satans-voice/


SOUNDS OF HELL???
Youtube bvnxeX2SQso
 
2020-08-05 12:37:45 AM  
5 votes:

Hills-Sachs_Legion: If Heaven is ruled by the God these self-righteous assholes profess, I'll take my chances in Hell, thanks much.

Of course I'm damned anyway so it's not like it matters.


It's never too late to repent, friend. I have a pamphlet that I think you'll immediately throw in the trash can enjoy.
 
2020-08-05 8:25:28 AM  
4 votes:
media.nj.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 7:01:40 AM  
4 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 6:41:49 AM  
4 votes:
Read the fine print, "acts of perversion in Hell." Hell has a benefit package.

I know this guy who sold his soul and spent 1000 years doing all sorts of perverted things in Hell. Now he is a demon having dream sex that causes COVID and low poll numbers.
 
2020-08-05 2:42:06 AM  
4 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 1:31:23 AM  
4 votes:

Mrtraveler01: If people like this guy are going to be heaven, then heaven must not be all that then.


From an old joke..

Guy having lunch with God in Heaven: 'Looks like they're having much better food down in Hell.. why are we here eating celery sticks and crackers and stuff?'
God: 'Well, it's a lot harder to cook for two.'
 
2020-08-05 1:12:34 AM  
4 votes:

bughunter: High Five!

[media.giphy.com image 500x200] [View Full Size image _x_]


Back atcha!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 1:02:29 AM  
4 votes:

Harry_Seldon: Satan does not exist. It was created as a tool of oppression and control.


Yes we should only use scientifically validated methods of control.

Like political correctness.
 
2020-08-05 12:58:49 AM  
4 votes:
Can't sell what isn't mine and I don't have.

/Wife's a redhead
 
2020-08-05 12:56:51 AM  
4 votes:

Hillbilly Jim: tonguedepressor: What is the going rate for an everlasting soul anyway?

A lot cheaper than the duracell soul or the eniguzer soul.


Not to mention counterfeit souls. Damn things aren't worth the sek to make em. Don't even bother asking for a refund if you get stuck with one.
 
2020-08-05 12:33:28 AM  
4 votes:
Not sure why Trump would buy souls for the cost of a Biden vote... but whatever.
 
2020-08-05 9:11:53 AM  
3 votes:
Jokes on him I traded mine for a really nice gaming PC.
 
2020-08-05 3:59:03 AM  
3 votes:

Langdon_777: I take this turd isn't up to date with the Lucifer series.  He has changed a lot since the Garden of Eden.


What if you're playing with Supernatural continuity?
 
2020-08-05 2:03:41 AM  
3 votes:
I thought that anyone who didn't sell their soul to Hillary had already transferred the title to the Obamas. At this point, do any liberal Democrats even have souls left to sell?

/we are a godless nation
//just as some of the founders intended
 
2020-08-05 1:36:06 AM  
3 votes:
i have typed and deleted a bunch of thoughts/comments and have ultimately decided to go with; go fark your self.
 
2020-08-05 1:18:46 AM  
3 votes:

Surrender your boo-tah: Harry_Seldon: Satan does not exist. It was created as a tool of oppression and control.

Yes we should only use scientifically validated methods of control.

Like political correctness.


Screw political correctness. Assholes to the left of me...Assholes to the right of me

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 1:15:17 AM  
3 votes:
Satan: that's the deal and all I want in return is your everlasting soul.

Evangelist : wait, there must be a catch somewhere.
 
2020-08-05 1:12:20 AM  
3 votes:

saturn badger: tonguedepressor: What is the going rate for an everlasting soul anyway?

Three fiddy


Was expecting at least a 72 Trans Am....what a rip.
 
2020-08-05 1:04:07 AM  
3 votes:

Iggie: gameshowhost: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/fgcWOzau​LxI]

Sounds of Hell?

Sounds, smells, tastes?

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/vHQOBAe0​J4w]


High Five!

media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 1:03:00 AM  
3 votes:
SLAYER!!!!!! \m/
 
2020-08-05 12:55:50 AM  
3 votes:

gameshowhost: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/fgcWOzau​LxI]

Sounds of Hell?


Sounds, smells, tastes?

Look out when babies spit up!
Youtube vHQOBAe0J4w
 
2020-08-05 12:50:51 AM  
3 votes:

tonguedepressor: What is the going rate for an everlasting soul anyway?


All the gold you can eat.
 
2020-08-05 12:49:26 AM  
3 votes:
How to Burp a Newborn
Youtube fgcWOzauLxI


Sounds of Hell?
 
2020-08-05 12:38:48 AM  
3 votes:
At least he seems more sane than the guy who has a recording of Satan's voice. He didn't say how he got it. I can only assume Satan was calling him to tell him to fark off and stop using his name in vain in a voice mail or something.

While there are no recordings of Satan's voice on Millington's website, he does have a recording of a "demon" - which basically sounds like someone speaking incoherently into a rubber hose.

https://deadstate.org/christian-autho​r​-claims-to-have-first-ever-recording-o​f-satans-voice/
 
2020-08-05 5:39:46 PM  
2 votes:
"And I didn't even keep the receipt."

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 8:36:09 AM  
2 votes:
Well if you DON'T vote for him, you ain't Black, so you have a choice here, don't you? You're either Black or a lover of Satan. Whaddaya gonna do?
 
2020-08-05 7:47:06 AM  
2 votes:

sirrerun: No.
After this Covifd-19 debacle, you f*cks do not get to call yourselves "pro-life" ever again.

Not yours.


Who's going to stop them? The language police?
 
2020-08-05 4:56:13 AM  
2 votes:
He can't even get his own church, the Catholic Church, to stomach it.

TIL that Joe Biden owns Catholicism.
 
2020-08-05 4:01:22 AM  
2 votes:
AC/DC - Highway to Hell (Official Video)
Youtube l482T0yNkeo
 
2020-08-05 3:41:41 AM  
2 votes:

Corvus: Republicans against abortion to "save lives" is BS.

1.7 MILLION embryos have been thrown away from fertility clinics.

When was the last time you heard Republicans politicians talk about banning that or them making this an issue?

When an embryo is not inside a woman they don't give a shiat about it.


That's the solution then... no abortions, just take the embryo/fetus out and stick in a jar on a shelf for a while. You aren't "killing" a baby, just "pausing" it. I have it on the authority of the Texas State Legislature that you can put an fetus back in any time after you take it out.
 
2020-08-05 3:41:40 AM  
2 votes:
Well, sign me up for selling my soul then. Trump can't ride like this:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 3:16:07 AM  
2 votes:
I take this turd isn't up to date with the Lucifer series.  He has changed a lot since the Garden of Eden.
 
2020-08-05 2:00:22 AM  
2 votes:

AeAe: I'd sell my soul if someone offers a lot money. I only got one of these things


$5 is the going rate

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 1:48:13 AM  
2 votes:
I have one steadfast rule in my life. Never take advice somebody that has a shiaty toupee.
 
2020-08-05 1:46:44 AM  
2 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 1:10:15 AM  
2 votes:
I'd sell my soul if someone offers a lot money. I only got one of these things
 
2020-08-05 1:04:39 AM  
2 votes:
He should watch this clip.  He might learn something.

Lucifer 3x07 Reese Threatens Luci with Knife What Do You Really Desire? Season 3 Episode 7 S03E07
Youtube AnmGthplAUM
 
2020-08-05 12:51:02 AM  
2 votes:

Skeleton Man: Hills-Sachs_Legion: If Heaven is ruled by the God these self-righteous assholes profess, I'll take my chances in Hell, thanks much.

Of course I'm damned anyway so it's not like it matters.

It's never too late to repent, friend. I have a pamphlet that I think you'll immediately throw in the trash can enjoy.


When I was a teenager running around with my stoner buddies and buddettes we'd find those chick tracts all over the place. You may recall that phone booths were used to get ahold of your guy and we knew the booths phone number so they could call us back to arrange a location.

Well, phone booths were a popular chick tract dump zone. We would laugh and laugh and laugh. Funny stuff. Knew one guy that actually collected them for the insane laughs they provided. I'm glad they're gone but now we have the web where the bat shiat insanity has just spread further.

Good times!
 
2020-08-05 12:37:50 AM  
2 votes:
The Devil's a pretty nice guy actually. I' d happily give him my soul anytime!
 
2020-08-04 11:45:25 PM  
2 votes:
If this guy's head would explode, I'd gladly sell my soul to the devil.  Where do I sign?
 
2020-08-06 3:44:10 AM  
1 vote:
The War of Northern Politeness will be legendary.  Canada moving in to help a failed state.
 
2020-08-05 8:52:58 PM  
1 vote:

Tyrone Slothrop: Langdon_777: I take this turd isn't up to date with the Lucifer series.  He has changed a lot since the Garden of Eden.

It wasn't even Lucifer in the Garden, just one of his subordinates.
[pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com image 850×478]

I didn't see a comment from you in this thread, so I don't know if you caught the Quarantine Special that the two main characters made on the 30th Anniversary of the original publication of Good Omens, but just in case you haven't, enjoy:
Good Omens: Lockdown
Youtube quSXoj8Kob0

Alphax: He should watch this clip.  He might learn something.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/AnmGthpl​AUM]

I never watched that series because I know that "Lucifer" in the Bible was never Satan in the first place, nor any fallen angel. He's just a human being, albeit the most politically powerful one known to exist or have ever existed as far as the Israelites of the time knew: the King of Babylon. Isaiah chapter 14, the only place where "Lucifer" is mentioned (and only in the KJV and a few other translations at that), says this outright.

It's based on the Neil Gaiman's DC Comics version of the character from Sandman and the Lucifer comics, right?

That video clip, which echoes a scene from his Sandman appearance (where Dream goes to Hell to challenge Lucifer for the soul of Nada, prompting Lucifer to quit being ruler of Hell and to shut the place down), makes me wonder about another fictional version of Satan, namely, the South Park version (R.I.P.?).

Only Mormons go to South Park's "Heaven" and everyone else goes to its "Hell." But why? Mormonism is very much not the true religion in the South Park world. Even discounting Joseph Smith's history as summarized in "All About the Mormons," there's also the fact that neither the South Park "God" nor "Satan" look human, and the angels (as seen in "BFF") have wings. In LDS theology, God and Satan are both fully human in form, as are angels. "Wings" spoken of in the Bible are symbolic, not literal. Also, the whole idea that only Mormons would go to "Heaven" is itself a contradiction of LDS theology which holds that there are multiple levels of "Heaven" and that everyone who doesn't blaspheme the Holy Ghost will at least achieve the lowest level, and those that live by whatever religious or moral or ethical code they believe to the best of their ability will achieve the middle level which is at least as good as the Garden of Eden.

I speculate that the reason is that other religions believe that you need only confess sins to God (most Protestants) or to a priest (Catholics) to have them absolved, or even that you only have to accept Jesus Christ as Personal Savior to be saved (Dispensationalism and others). So, when you die, you still have feelings of guilt over what you did to friends and family and even people you didn't know nor care about while alive, and those keep you from walking out of Hell because you don't feel worthy of Heaven.

The LDS believe that you have to confess sins to the people you wronged, do your best to make restitution, and beg their forgiveness (they don't have to give it, but you're supposed to ask), and only then does the blood of Christ fully wash the sins away. All sins are offenses against God and need to be confessed to Him, but sins against others need to be confessed to them as well. So LDS who truly live by that would be the only ones who feel that they have truly recompensed those who they wronged to the best of their ability, and thus not feel the need to be punished in Hell.
 
2020-08-05 12:39:05 PM  
1 vote:

Marcos P: Jokes on him I traded mine for a really nice gaming PC.


Except it's covered in RGB and lights up the entire neighborhood. Satan!!
 
2020-08-05 8:18:31 AM  
1 vote:

edmo: If Republicans are so against abortion, why didn't they pass a law against it the first two years of Trump's term? They've got a conservative SCOTUS. Always promising to kill abortion if you vote for them yet it never happens. Weird.


The GOP controlled the house, senate, executive, and SCOTUS.
What would the GOP stand for if they lost their righteous anger at abortion?  Also, jailing and executing large numbers of women actually is not as popular as Trump's base thinks, many of whom have had abortions.
It's very easy to cover for your corruption and sexual deviant behavior if you just pay lip service to pro-lifers.  Just ask Donald Trump or Roy Moore.  They both have two things in common.
 
2020-08-05 8:16:27 AM  
1 vote:

Tyrone Slothrop: Langdon_777: I take this turd isn't up to date with the Lucifer series.  He has changed a lot since the Garden of Eden.

It wasn't even Lucifer in the Garden, just one of his subordinates.
[pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com image 850x478]


Incidentally, that picture came from an article about a Christian group protesting "Good Omens", and demanding it be removed from Netflix.
 
2020-08-05 8:15:08 AM  
1 vote:
Sorry there was a in there from the copypasta.
 
2020-08-05 8:12:05 AM  
1 vote:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 7:42:00 AM  
1 vote:

texanjeff: So wait?

We have to put with aaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllll this bullshait because of abortion rights?

Fark you.


We are putting up with this bullshiat because of dopamine deprivation.

Religion removes much of the pleasure in life (dopamine feedback) so manipulators can use dopamine feedback to condition the followers to do what they want in return for a taste of that sweet release of pleasure.Usually by doing what the powers that be want and getting praise for it and feelings of accomplishment and the little bits of dopamine.

If you're a "religious" person but doubt your own authenticity there are still ways to get your dopamine fix. Just contrast yourself against "evildoers" and standup for any extreme issue in the name of "justice"  and poof, you are a superhero...the self-gratification will get you your dopamine.

This is how Trump (and Q) followers get roped in (whether or not someone's religious, too).  Give people misery with no path to actual psychological pleasure and they'll do anything to find a scapegoat/strawman to fight against to get that self-gratification.  It's at the core of cults, too. Miserable people just need a hook to find their dopamine switch, is it money? Prosperity gospel. Is it social contact/status? Organized religion. Weak ego? Social restrictions.

Happy well-educated people with a knowledge of their worth have no need for the dopamine cycle of addiction.

If we want to understand these kooks we have to understand where they get their dopamine kicks from and limit the supply.
 
2020-08-05 7:27:59 AM  
1 vote:
I mean, Hell seems a lot safer than here. Nobody dies from eternal damnation.
 
2020-08-05 7:08:16 AM  
1 vote:
So wait?

We have to put with aaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllll this bullshait because of abortion rights?

Fark you.
 
2020-08-05 7:08:00 AM  
1 vote:

gameshowhost: i can't sell what doesn't exist

hehe fark you, religion!


I figured this article was about you guys.
 
2020-08-05 6:37:52 AM  
1 vote:
Who died and made him boss?

Jesus, apparently Jesus.

What an asshole.
 
2020-08-05 5:17:43 AM  
1 vote:

Nadie_AZ: Same guy:

[Fark user image image 640x633]


Pretty sure that is a shop, only one finger is extended on his hand.
 
2020-08-05 2:45:16 AM  
1 vote:
Just a reminder that I think Christians in particular are delusional idiots.

I lost count of all the reasons I have to believe that. Throw this one on the heap.

Hail Satan.
 
2020-08-05 2:38:53 AM  
1 vote:
Cool. I'm Jewish. There is no devil.
 
2020-08-05 1:59:21 AM  
1 vote:
gimme that paper, bet yer ass I will sign ...
Cuz I need a beer and it's tittie-squeezing time!
 
2020-08-05 1:35:48 AM  
1 vote:
Put is red mark on your forehead today?
 
2020-08-05 1:24:00 AM  
1 vote:

SoberCannibal: Satan: that's the deal and all I want in return is your everlasting soul.

Evangelist : wait, there must be a catch somewhere.


Satan: You won't go to Heaven.

Evangelist: You mean I'll go to hell?

Satan: Where do you think you are?
 
2020-08-05 1:18:47 AM  
1 vote:

Alphax: He should watch this clip.  He might learn something.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/AnmGthpl​AUM]


Just over two more weeks...*yay*
 
2020-08-05 1:14:21 AM  
1 vote:
Some will give you a new pickup truck for it.
Obscure?
 
2020-08-05 1:10:04 AM  
1 vote:
Ooga. Booga. I suffer fools not.
 
2020-08-05 1:09:37 AM  
1 vote:

Stibium: Yea, there's a big list of folks who sign up for that. Not so many folks care much for the story of Jesus spending an afternoon making a whip so he could go on a tear against the stockbrokers and bankers.


Umm no it wasn't "stockbrokers" or "bankers".
 
2020-08-05 1:06:48 AM  
1 vote:

I want that sauce Morty!: If any of this Christianity stuff is actually true, I'm convinced that the devil actually won his rebellion and took God's place as ruler of Heaven. Everything written about him afterwards is propaganda used to solidify his claim to the throne. That's why the religion is so full of wicked and corrupt leaders.


How men corrupt religion is not from god. Why would you think flawed people who write about god would actually represent God?

If you read the new testament, people like this are warned about.

American White Christianity has mostly only superficial relationship with Christs teachings.
 
2020-08-05 1:03:43 AM  
1 vote:
Republicans against abortion to "save lives" is BS.

1.7 MILLION embryos have been thrown away from fertility clinics.

When was the last time you heard Republicans politicians talk about banning that or them making this an issue?

When an embryo is not inside a woman they don't give a shiat about it.
 
2020-08-05 12:59:55 AM  
1 vote:
If any of this Christianity stuff is actually true, I'm convinced that the devil actually won his rebellion and took God's place as ruler of Heaven. Everything written about him afterwards is propaganda used to solidify his claim to the throne. That's why the religion is so full of wicked and corrupt leaders.
 
2020-08-05 12:53:49 AM  
1 vote:

tonguedepressor: What is the going rate for an everlasting soul anyway?


A lot cheaper than the duracell soul or the eniguzer soul.
 
2020-08-05 12:52:34 AM  
1 vote:

SamFlagg: Hey man don't spread that information around, I want to see if I can get some scotch and smokes in the deal when I trade in November and the Devil isn't gonna negotiate if he knows my price.


Why would Satan throw in some scotch? He spends his scratch on people like Jeffress who corrupt the hearts, minds, and souls of millions of people all over the world.

What do you do? Blow cigarette smoke obnoxiously? Y'all probably wind up with some rotgut malted blend, and I suggest you act like you appreciate it when he hands it to you.
 
2020-08-05 12:46:26 AM  
1 vote:
No.
After this Covifd-19 debacle, you f*cks do not get to call yourselves "pro-life" ever again.

Not yours.
 
2020-08-05 12:45:33 AM  
1 vote:
How did I know that it was going to be this sleazy mutherfugger before I even clicked the link?

He knows when Trump goes down, his little fundie gravy train of endless tax-free taxpayer cash comes to a screeching halt.
 
2020-08-05 12:41:11 AM  
1 vote:
He isn't saying anything that hasn't already been said by RWNJs for...I dunno...how long now?  It's become overtly toxic the last few years, though.  Open dialogues have gone out the window, and there is no discussion left to be had when it has been decided that you and your beliefs are "evil".  Not just wrong, "evil".  There is no logical argument you can use against that type of judgement.  I've just given up.
 
2020-08-05 12:40:07 AM  
1 vote:
We've got the best musicians.
 
2020-08-05 12:36:31 AM  
1 vote:
STOP GIVING STUPID PEOPLE AIRTIME.
 
2020-08-05 12:34:42 AM  
1 vote:

bloobeary: Y'ever notice that the people who act like they're getting into heaven are people who it would be pure hell to spend all eternity a

n evening with?
 
2020-08-05 12:32:16 AM  
1 vote:
You can trust this guy, he knows a thing or two about selling your soul to Satan.
 
2020-08-04 11:14:44 PM  
1 vote:
Goo , because God clearly failed us.
 
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