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(DeadState)   According to this guy, if you vote for Biden, you have "Sold your soul to the devil"   (deadstate.org) divider line
    More: Ironic, Catholic Church, Roman Catholic Church, Christian terms, Joe Biden, Christianity, Fox Business, host Lou Dobbs, Soul  
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2374 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Aug 2020 at 12:30 AM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-08-04 6:19:20 PM  
104 votes:
Same guy:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 7:19:32 PM  
76 votes:
Y'ever notice that the people who act like they're getting into heaven are people who it would be pure hell to spend all eternity with?
 
2020-08-04 9:55:01 PM  
38 votes:

bloobeary: Y'ever notice that the people who act like they're getting into heaven are people who it would be pure hell to spend all eternity with?


The same ones who think the walls are lined with gold--as if angels would ever surround themselves with that shiatty reminder of suffering. Probably also think heaven will have crosses everywhere, because, as Bill Hicks pointed out, that's the last farking thing anyone executed on a cross would ever want to see again.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 10:42:20 PM  
35 votes:
If Republicans are so against abortion, why didn't they pass a law against it the first two years of Trump's term? They've got a conservative SCOTUS. Always promising to kill abortion if you vote for them yet it never happens. Weird.
 
2020-08-04 6:13:30 PM  
34 votes:
Look in a mirror, dude.
 
2020-08-04 7:46:32 PM  
32 votes:
What is a pastor doing on a business channel?

Kidding.  I know exactly why he is on a business channel.  Hey false prophet, go peddle your lies elsewhere, we ain't buying.
 
2020-08-04 6:11:17 PM  
28 votes:
I didn't sell it, I offered it freely and willingly.
 
2020-08-05 12:35:24 AM  
19 votes:
Right....yet the evangelicals who hitched their wagon to a pathological liar, philanderer and all around asshole who gassed a bunch of people so he could hold a Bible in front of a church are just doing the Lord's work.


And people wonder why people who identify as Christians continues to decrease.
 
2020-08-05 12:35:09 AM  
17 votes:
Satan does not exist. It was created as a tool of oppression and control.
 
2020-08-05 12:49:53 AM  
16 votes:
Better than selling my soul to Trump.  At least the Devil is known for keeping his bargains.
 
2020-08-05 12:36:31 AM  
14 votes:
STOP GIVING STUPID PEOPLE AIRTIME.
 
2020-08-04 11:33:27 PM  
14 votes:
Let's set up a scoreboard for the number of commandments and seven deadly sins each candidate has broken.

Actually let's not bother.
 
2020-08-05 12:46:26 AM  
11 votes:
No.
After this Covifd-19 debacle, you f*cks do not get to call yourselves "pro-life" ever again.

Not yours.
 
2020-08-05 12:34:50 AM  
11 votes:
If Heaven is ruled by the God these self-righteous assholes profess, I'll take my chances in Hell, thanks much.

Of course I'm damned anyway so it's not like it matters.
 
2020-08-05 2:56:18 AM  
9 votes:
I despise any religion that says you don't need to be a good person to go into heaven, that believing and accepting Jesus as your lord and saviour is enough.

That's not a belief system, that's a cheat code.
 
2020-08-05 12:34:42 AM  
9 votes:

bloobeary: Y'ever notice that the people who act like they're getting into heaven are people who it would be pure hell to spend all eternity a

n evening with?
 
2020-08-05 1:52:52 AM  
8 votes:
Last time Biden was in office, you had 8 great years for America - in just about every way.

For the last 4 years Trump has been in office, you've had non-stop scandals, non-stop lies, non-stop childish behaviour, race riots, broken down international alliances, global disrespect/mockery, a plague of biblical proportions, and the U.S. diving into a once in a 100 year Great Depression.

Take your "soul" threats bullshiat and stick it up your arse.
 
2020-08-04 8:28:10 PM  
7 votes:
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 3:27:36 AM  
6 votes:
Robert Jeffress also believes only Christians should be elected into office, excluding all Jews, Muslims and non-believers. He preaches this at his church in Dallas. You can hear it on the radio nationally, and he is an integral part of this administration. McCain had the character to reject this brand of Christian White Nationalism a little over a decade ago, but Trump embraces them.
 
2020-08-05 1:06:55 AM  
6 votes:

jsnbase: He doesn't actually care about abortion. They have no actual principles.


To be fair, they don't care about the babies. They care very much about controlling women.
 
2020-08-05 1:00:20 AM  
6 votes:
There are zero people left who support Trump that are not either criminal or insane.
 
2020-08-04 11:34:50 PM  
6 votes:
i can't sell what doesn't exist

hehe fark you, religion!
 
2020-08-05 8:13:21 AM  
5 votes:
"I mean, it's so barbaric, Joe Biden believes in unrestricted abortion. He can't even get his own church, the Catholic Church, to stomach it. They have denied him communion because of that."

Abortion is so barbaric it is in the Bible:

The Bible supports abortion performed by priests by giving an abortifacient to women in 20 unambiguous verses, Numbers 5:11-31, especially read 27: If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse.

Numbers 5:11-31 The Test for an Unfaithful Wife

11Then the Lord said to Moses, 12"Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'If a man's wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him 13so that another man has sexual relations with her, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act), 14and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure-or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure- 15then he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah[a] of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour olive oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder-offering to draw attention to wrongdoing.

16"'The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the Lord. 17Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water. 18After the priest has had the woman stand before the Lord, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder-offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse. 19Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, "If no other man has had sexual relations with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. 20But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband"- 21here the priest is to put the woman under this curse-"may the Lord cause you to become a curse among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell. 22May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries."

"'Then the woman is to say, "Amen. So be it."

23"'The priest is to write these curses on a scroll and then wash them off into the bitter water. 24He shall make the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and this water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering will enter her. 25The priest is to take from her hands the grain offering for jealousy, wave it before the Lord and bring it to the altar. 26The priest is then to take a handful of the grain offering as a memorial[c] offering and burn it on the altar; after that, he is to have the woman drink the water. 27If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse. 28If, however, the woman has not made herself impure, but is clean, she will be cleared of guilt and will be able to have children.

29"'This, then, is the law of jealousy when a woman goes astray and makes herself impure while married to her husband, 30or when feelings of jealousy come over a man because he suspects his wife. The priest is to have her stand before the Lord and is to apply this entire law to her. 31The husband will be innocent of any wrongdoing, but the woman will bear the consequences of her sin.'"

Notice it says the men that do this sort of thing are 'guiltless' and the women bear all of the punishment. Lovely book you have there, it just struggles to see how low it can go.

And if you say the old laws are not still valid:
Matthew 5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

"Till heaven and earth pass" and "...till all be fulfilled" means everything. Time ends. Judgement. All the laws. Get a clue, the Torah/Bible/Koran or the Abrahamic religion (all the same religion with slightly different takes) are nothing but lies, and inherently from lies, evil.

 
2020-08-05 8:01:29 AM  
5 votes:
Why is an evangelical voice coming on a "Fox Business News" segment? Lou wouldn't just be a shameless shill for Trump, would he?

/LD hasn't legitimately discussed Business News since 1996
 
2020-08-05 8:01:04 AM  
5 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 2:45:37 AM  
5 votes:
This guy looks like the kind of pastor the other church leaders know to never leave alone with female members of the youth group.
 
2020-08-05 2:14:50 AM  
5 votes:
Pat Robertson once whined about abortion because (and get this) it reduced the numbers of born people who would grow up to become soldiers and taxpayers.

The. F*cking. GALL!

That's how he sees us? As cannon-fodder to fight in his republican Jesus wars and as walking wallets to pay taxes so that he never has to?
 
2020-08-05 1:57:34 AM  
5 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Trump's demon spawn crotchfruit has already descended the world into hell.
 
2020-08-05 1:29:19 AM  
5 votes:
If people like this guy are going to be heaven, then heaven must not be all that then.
 
2020-08-05 1:06:48 AM  
5 votes:

I want that sauce Morty!: If any of this Christianity stuff is actually true, I'm convinced that the devil actually won his rebellion and took God's place as ruler of Heaven. Everything written about him afterwards is propaganda used to solidify his claim to the throne. That's why the religion is so full of wicked and corrupt leaders.


How men corrupt religion is not from god. Why would you think flawed people who write about god would actually represent God?

If you read the new testament, people like this are warned about.

American White Christianity has mostly only superficial relationship with Christs teachings.
 
2020-08-05 12:33:04 AM  
5 votes:
Well that f*cking hypocrite would know, wouldn't he. He already sold his.
 
2020-08-05 11:11:45 AM  
4 votes:

BizarreMan: I didn't sell it, I offered it freely and willingly.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 9:48:36 AM  
4 votes:

edmo: If Republicans are so against abortion, why didn't they pass a law against it the first two years of Trump's term? They've got a conservative SCOTUS. Always promising to kill abortion if you vote for them yet it never happens. Weird.


People like Jeffress would vote for Hitler if he promised to ban abortion.  It is not an exaggeration.  It is exactly how societies sink into authoritarianism.
 
2020-08-05 4:26:12 AM  
4 votes:

Gr3asy: Langdon_777: I take this turd isn't up to date with the Lucifer series.  He has changed a lot since the Garden of Eden.

What if you're playing with Supernatural continuity?


I became a fan of Satan once I realised that he was the one who questioned "God" and gave us human's the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  Before that we were just "it is what it is," after that we started doing things to help ourselves, like agriculture.
 
2020-08-05 2:45:16 AM  
4 votes:
Just a reminder that I think Christians in particular are delusional idiots.

I lost count of all the reasons I have to believe that. Throw this one on the heap.

Hail Satan.
 
2020-08-05 1:48:13 AM  
4 votes:
I have one steadfast rule in my life. Never take advice somebody that has a shiaty toupee.
 
2020-08-05 1:32:17 AM  
4 votes:
For some reason this guy's church pays no taxes.
 
2020-08-05 1:31:51 AM  
4 votes:
Dear Satan,

For my eternal soul I would like Donald Trump to be found guilty of all his crimes, and while in prison suffer an absolutely horrible but incredibly hilarious accident involving a bar of soap, a dumbbell, a packet of ramen, and some pepper spray. Also a pony.

Hail you,
Almea

PS. I'm Canadian so I can't streamline the process by voting for Joe Biden. Sorry.
 
2020-08-05 1:01:41 AM  
4 votes:
He doesn't actually care about abortion. They have no actual principles.
 
2020-08-05 12:53:37 AM  
4 votes:

AAAAGGGGHHHH: How did I know that it was going to be this sleazy mutherfugger before I even clicked the link?

He knows when Trump goes down, his little fundie gravy train of endless tax-free taxpayer cash comes to a screeching halt.


How much money did this a-hold get from the last stimulus?
 
2020-08-05 12:40:07 AM  
4 votes:
We've got the best musicians.
 
2020-08-05 12:32:58 AM  
4 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 11:45:25 PM  
4 votes:
If this guy's head would explode, I'd gladly sell my soul to the devil.  Where do I sign?
 
2020-08-05 4:32:48 PM  
3 votes:

johnphantom: "I mean, it's so barbaric, Joe Biden believes in unrestricted abortion. He can't even get his own church, the Catholic Church, to stomach it. They have denied him communion because of that."

Abortion is so barbaric it is in the Bible:

The Bible supports abortion performed by priests by giving an abortifacient to women in 20 unambiguous verses, Numbers 5:11-31, especially read 27: If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse.

Numbers 5:11-31 The Test for an Unfaithful Wife

11Then the Lord said to Moses, 12"Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'If a man's wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him 13so that another man has sexual relations with her, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act), 14and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure-or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure- 15then he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah[a] of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour olive oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder-offering to draw attention to wrongdoing.

16"'The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the Lord. 17Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water. 18After the priest has had the woman stand before the Lord, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder-offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse. 19Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, "If no other man has had sexual relations w ...

See also the middle part of Numbers Chapter 3 wherein the LORD twice commands a census, first of the Levites, then of all Israelites, "from a month old and up." Seven times that phrase occurs therein: twice the LORD God HImself commanding it, and the other five describing it being carried out. This divinely ordered census is what gave the Book of Numbers its very name! It's also referenced once in Deuteronomy with the same restriction: "from a month old and up."

And Leviticus Chapter 27, in which the LORD assigns monetary value in His eye to persons based on gender (men worth more than women, natch) and age group (working / warring / childbearing age worth the most, followed by youth and older children, followed by seniors, and finally infants through preschool age ― but even that last group has a minimum age specified: "from a month old even unto five years old." The seniors age group has no maximum age specified to its range, so it's not like God didn't understand the concept of a single-bounded numeric range. No value at all is specified for those under age one month ― they have no value whatsoever in the eyes of the LORD God of Israel!

Thus, the Law of Moses makes it quite plain that not only does Personhood in their God's eyes not begin at conception (let alone fertilization), it doesn't begin at "quickening" either (the usual demarcation in medieval times when the soul was said to enter the body), nor at birth, nor at first breath. It's not until a lunar month (Semitic calendar of the time) had passed: basically, the parents were to look at the Moon on the night the baby was born, mark its phase, then not consider it a full Person until the moon returned to that same phase. (Of course, this was because infant mortality was so high back then that it wasn't worth it to get attached to the kid until it'd proven it could survive at least a month.)

This continued into the time of the New Testament, too. "Abortion is moider!" types will tell you that the Koine Greek word for "unborn" is the same as for "newborn." This is true! But they neglect to mention that not only did the Greeks and Romans and others in the region practice abortion without legal penalty, they also practiced infanticide ― aain, without legal penalty! The demarcation was about a month old. After that, the term for "infant" was a different term with a different legal status involving being considered a Person. It was legal to kill a human at any stage denoted by the other term, whether pre- or post-birth, because they weren't considered Persons yet!

"Murder" is defined as the unjustifiable and intentional killing of a Person, not merely a human being.
 
2020-08-05 9:24:58 AM  
3 votes:
If even one political statement was enough to cost you your tax exempt status for the year, like you'd imagine separation of church and state would...pastors would be more careful about claiming who god wants you to vote for.

In fact, it should be penalized by charging them taxes at the highest possible bracket that year,   allowing for no allowances.

Religion in America is weaponized. It will alwsys have a role in politics. But if churches can influence elections with their voices or money, and allowed to get away with it - why pretend there is a wall separating church and state?
 
2020-08-05 8:24:48 AM  
3 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 7:25:36 AM  
3 votes:
And to think Thomas Jefferson took time out from slaving to include the plea of the baptists to protect America from religion by including a first amendment right to separate government from religion.

Add to that the whining of this "pastor" and his ilk about the irs being mean to those who game non profit tax exempt status.
 
2020-08-05 7:25:08 AM  
3 votes:
See here the problem is Biden won't kill off enough people, whereas Trump will have gallons upon gallons of blood spilled all to honor the blood god. Biden will enact wimpy policies that saves lives, which is totally the opposite of what Jesus would want. Jesus needs blood, and thus we must appease the blood god.

Seriously folks, any wonder why atheism/agnosticism is the only growing demographic? Any wonder why percentage of religious believers drops every decade? Anyone still question why Christians are rapidly becoming a minority? For that I am grateful for Trump, he has hastened the decline of religion faster than any event or person the past century.
 
2020-08-05 3:41:41 AM  
3 votes:

Corvus: Republicans against abortion to "save lives" is BS.

1.7 MILLION embryos have been thrown away from fertility clinics.

When was the last time you heard Republicans politicians talk about banning that or them making this an issue?

When an embryo is not inside a woman they don't give a shiat about it.


That's the solution then... no abortions, just take the embryo/fetus out and stick in a jar on a shelf for a while. You aren't "killing" a baby, just "pausing" it. I have it on the authority of the Texas State Legislature that you can put an fetus back in any time after you take it out.
 
2020-08-05 3:22:24 AM  
3 votes:

padraig: I despise any religion that says you don't need to be a good person to go into heaven, that believing and accepting Jesus as your lord and saviour is enough.

That's not a belief system, that's a cheat code.


I like to remind my mother that she'll be sharing heaven with a bunch of rapists, child molesters, murderers and thieves who converted to Christianity in prison. Why bother being a good person when you can just mumble a quick apology to god (not the victim) whenever you screw up and go about your life guilt free?
 
2020-08-05 2:11:47 AM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 1:45:08 AM  
3 votes:

la_mariee_mise_a_nu: If you're doing business with a religious son-of-a-biatch, get it in writing.
His word isn't worth shiat. Not with the good lord telling him how to f#$k you on the deal.
...
Now some of you may encounter the Devil's Bargain, if you get that far.
Any old soul is worth saving, at least to a priest, but not every soul is worth buying.
So you can take the offer as a compliment.

-William S. Burroughs


Burroughs is awesome.

I couldn't quite recall what he had to say about counterfeit souls in that book, so I kinda ad-libbed the gist. Kinda nice that is not too obscure for Fark.
 
2020-08-05 1:34:34 AM  
3 votes:

Mithiwithi: jsnbase: He doesn't actually care about abortion. They have no actual principles.

To be fair, they don't care about the babies. They care very much about controlling women.


And minorities. It wasn't popular to be racist in the day of Roe vs Wade so they latched on to abortions to try and hide it.
 
2020-08-05 1:32:21 AM  
3 votes:

Corvus: I want that sauce Morty!: If any of this Christianity stuff is actually true, I'm convinced that the devil actually won his rebellion and took God's place as ruler of Heaven. Everything written about him afterwards is propaganda used to solidify his claim to the throne. That's why the religion is so full of wicked and corrupt leaders.

How men corrupt religion is not from god. Why would you think flawed people who write about god would actually represent God?

If you read the new testament, people like this are warned about.

American White Christianity has mostly only superficial relationship with Christs teachings.


I went off on looking up a bible quote from elsewhere and the page I hit had 26 versions from 26 different bibles. Earlier I did the same and it was from the NLT (new living testament?) and it didn't read like a bible at all. It was more like revenge porn.

So these are not translations but books called bibles to control them. No matter what point they want to make there is a book for it.

Then there was Stalin pulling feathers from a chicken to make a biblical point. Something about pulling all the feathers out then feeding it and it followed him everywhere. I guess it was a socialism deal but it didn't have anything to do with the quote.

Once you look into it a bit it is a very weird place to tread.
 
2020-08-05 1:18:46 AM  
3 votes:

Surrender your boo-tah: Harry_Seldon: Satan does not exist. It was created as a tool of oppression and control.

Yes we should only use scientifically validated methods of control.

Like political correctness.


Screw political correctness. Assholes to the left of me...Assholes to the right of me

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 1:17:18 AM  
3 votes:

Corvus: Stibium: Yea, there's a big list of folks who sign up for that. Not so many folks care much for the story of Jesus spending an afternoon making a whip so he could go on a tear against the stockbrokers and bankers.

Umm no it wasn't "stockbrokers" or "bankers".


Not specifically, although banker is kinda close. I was just trying to contemporarialize the story for today's audience.

I'm sure Jesus would have plenty to say about our current crop of stockbrokers and their ill-gotten gains, as well as title loan usury and hostile banking practices.

Of course the money changers were pretty blasphemous, a bit more so than other secular money-making pastimes
 
2020-08-05 1:05:29 AM  
3 votes:
Every accusation a confession.
 
2020-08-05 1:04:39 AM  
3 votes:
He should watch this clip.  He might learn something.

Lucifer 3x07 Reese Threatens Luci with Knife What Do You Really Desire? Season 3 Episode 7 S03E07
Youtube AnmGthplAUM
 
2020-08-05 12:59:55 AM  
3 votes:
If any of this Christianity stuff is actually true, I'm convinced that the devil actually won his rebellion and took God's place as ruler of Heaven. Everything written about him afterwards is propaganda used to solidify his claim to the throne. That's why the religion is so full of wicked and corrupt leaders.
 
2020-08-05 12:51:02 AM  
3 votes:

Skeleton Man: Hills-Sachs_Legion: If Heaven is ruled by the God these self-righteous assholes profess, I'll take my chances in Hell, thanks much.

Of course I'm damned anyway so it's not like it matters.

It's never too late to repent, friend. I have a pamphlet that I think you'll immediately throw in the trash can enjoy.


When I was a teenager running around with my stoner buddies and buddettes we'd find those chick tracts all over the place. You may recall that phone booths were used to get ahold of your guy and we knew the booths phone number so they could call us back to arrange a location.

Well, phone booths were a popular chick tract dump zone. We would laugh and laugh and laugh. Funny stuff. Knew one guy that actually collected them for the insane laughs they provided. I'm glad they're gone but now we have the web where the bat shiat insanity has just spread further.

Good times!
 
2020-08-05 12:49:18 AM  
3 votes:

edmo: If Republicans are so against abortion, why didn't they pass a law against it the first two years of Trump's term? They've got a conservative SCOTUS. Always promising to kill abortion if you vote for them yet it never happens. Weird.


See also: Hillary "Lock Her Up" Clinton.
 
2020-08-05 12:32:16 AM  
3 votes:
You can trust this guy, he knows a thing or two about selling your soul to Satan.
 
2020-08-06 12:50:12 AM  
2 votes:

Mithiwithi: COMALite J: The main way in Christianity to guarantee the loss of your soul even if you were "saved" is to Blaspheme the Holy Ghost.

You know, like 51 of the 53 Republican Senators did when they raised their right hands to the square with fingers pointed towards His Heavenly Throne, and swore, "so help me, God!" to render impartial justice ― an oath that those 51 had no intentions of keeping even at the time they swore the oath, because just weeks later they voted to not even hear witnesses or see evidence against Trump.

Swearing falsely in the name of God is a form of blasphemy, and since nearly all if not absolutely all of these GOP Senators claim to profess Trinitarian Christianity, they believe that God includes God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost, so they blasphemed the Holy Ghost which Jesus Christ Himself said would not be forgiven, in this world or in the world to come. His words, in red ink.

Mugato: Let's set up a scoreboard for the number of commandments and seven deadly sins each candidate has broken.

Actually let's not bother.
And Beatitudes (100% red ink in a Red Letter Edition) that each has been the 180° diametric opposite of.

I've finally decided that your farkie is "Detailed explanations of why Republicans are anti-Christian." As someone who used to be Christian, who steeped himself in Christian doctrine, and who still holds a torch for Christianity long after I professed to stop actually believing in Christ, I always find your posts fascinating.

/its been more than 42 months since the inauguration and Trump's still in office, therefore he isn't the Beast


To put it another way, I'm a "Lieutenant Scheisskopf's Wife" atheist. The God I don't believe in is the kind, just God that is Jesus of Nazareth, and I am far more hostile to those who claim to follow Him but reject all of His teachings than I am to mere evil people who claim no greater authority than "might is right".
 
2020-08-06 12:45:02 AM  
2 votes:

COMALite J: The main way in Christianity to guarantee the loss of your soul even if you were "saved" is to Blaspheme the Holy Ghost.

You know, like 51 of the 53 Republican Senators did when they raised their right hands to the square with fingers pointed towards His Heavenly Throne, and swore, "so help me, God!" to render impartial justice ― an oath that those 51 had no intentions of keeping even at the time they swore the oath, because just weeks later they voted to not even hear witnesses or see evidence against Trump.

Swearing falsely in the name of God is a form of blasphemy, and since nearly all if not absolutely all of these GOP Senators claim to profess Trinitarian Christianity, they believe that God includes God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost, so they blasphemed the Holy Ghost which Jesus Christ Himself said would not be forgiven, in this world or in the world to come. His words, in red ink.

Mugato: Let's set up a scoreboard for the number of commandments and seven deadly sins each candidate has broken.

Actually let's not bother.
And Beatitudes (100% red ink in a Red Letter Edition) that each has been the 180° diametric opposite of.


I've finally decided that your farkie is "Detailed explanations of why Republicans are anti-Christian." As someone who used to be Christian, who steeped himself in Christian doctrine, and who still holds a torch for Christianity long after I professed to stop actually believing in Christ, I always find your posts fascinating.

/its been more than 42 months since the inauguration and Trump's still in office, therefore he isn't the Beast
 
2020-08-05 9:24:38 PM  
2 votes:

COMALite J: I never watched that series because I know that "Lucifer" in the Bible was never Satan in the first place, nor any fallen angel.


You don't watch a fantasy show because it isn't historically accurate?

/never saw the show myself
//loves "Lucifer"
///knows it's not a documentary
 
2020-08-05 6:23:24 PM  
2 votes:

edmo: If Republicans are so against abortion, why didn't they pass a law against it the first two years of Trump's term? They've got a conservative SCOTUS. Always promising to kill abortion if you vote for them yet it never happens. Weird.


Many people vote republicans only for the abortion issue. If abortion was illegal they'd have no reason to vote.
 
2020-08-05 8:24:28 AM  
2 votes:
arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-bostonglobe.s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 8:18:31 AM  
2 votes:

edmo: If Republicans are so against abortion, why didn't they pass a law against it the first two years of Trump's term? They've got a conservative SCOTUS. Always promising to kill abortion if you vote for them yet it never happens. Weird.


The GOP controlled the house, senate, executive, and SCOTUS.
What would the GOP stand for if they lost their righteous anger at abortion?  Also, jailing and executing large numbers of women actually is not as popular as Trump's base thinks, many of whom have had abortions.
It's very easy to cover for your corruption and sexual deviant behavior if you just pay lip service to pro-lifers.  Just ask Donald Trump or Roy Moore.  They both have two things in common.
 
2020-08-05 7:59:21 AM  
2 votes:

Stibium: Corvus: Stibium: Yea, there's a big list of folks who sign up for that. Not so many folks care much for the story of Jesus spending an afternoon making a whip so he could go on a tear against the stockbrokers and bankers.

Umm no it wasn't "stockbrokers" or "bankers".

Not specifically, although banker is kinda close. I was just trying to contemporarialize the story for today's audience.

I'm sure Jesus would have plenty to say about our current crop of stockbrokers and their ill-gotten gains, as well as title loan usury and hostile banking practices.

Of course the money changers were pretty blasphemous, a bit more so than other secular money-making pastimes


The really funny thing is there was a time when Christians took Jesus' anger against the moneylenders seriously, and so Christians couldn't be bankers. It was one of the few professions Jews were allowed to have, and led to the "greedy Jew" stereotype.
 
2020-08-05 7:42:00 AM  
2 votes:

texanjeff: So wait?

We have to put with aaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllll this bullshait because of abortion rights?

Fark you.


We are putting up with this bullshiat because of dopamine deprivation.

Religion removes much of the pleasure in life (dopamine feedback) so manipulators can use dopamine feedback to condition the followers to do what they want in return for a taste of that sweet release of pleasure.Usually by doing what the powers that be want and getting praise for it and feelings of accomplishment and the little bits of dopamine.

If you're a "religious" person but doubt your own authenticity there are still ways to get your dopamine fix. Just contrast yourself against "evildoers" and standup for any extreme issue in the name of "justice"  and poof, you are a superhero...the self-gratification will get you your dopamine.

This is how Trump (and Q) followers get roped in (whether or not someone's religious, too).  Give people misery with no path to actual psychological pleasure and they'll do anything to find a scapegoat/strawman to fight against to get that self-gratification.  It's at the core of cults, too. Miserable people just need a hook to find their dopamine switch, is it money? Prosperity gospel. Is it social contact/status? Organized religion. Weak ego? Social restrictions.

Happy well-educated people with a knowledge of their worth have no need for the dopamine cycle of addiction.

If we want to understand these kooks we have to understand where they get their dopamine kicks from and limit the supply.
 
2020-08-05 7:38:01 AM  
2 votes:
Thanks, but the "devil" is less evil than most right wing trash in 2020.

Bulldoze everything right wing trash loves.
 
2020-08-05 4:58:41 AM  
2 votes:
Every accusation is a confession.
 
2020-08-05 2:14:13 AM  
2 votes:

Stud Gerbil: gimme that paper, bet yer ass I will sign ...
Cuz I need a beer and it's tittie-squeezing time!


Frank Zappa died far too young.
 
2020-08-05 2:06:18 AM  
2 votes:

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: [Fark user image 425x307]

Trump's demon spawn crotchfruit has already descended the world into hell.


She looks like a character out of Beetlejuice II, if such a thing existed.
 
2020-08-05 1:31:26 AM  
2 votes:
If you're doing business with a religious son-of-a-biatch, get it in writing.
His word isn't worth shiat. Not with the good lord telling him how to f#$k you on the deal.
...
Now some of you may encounter the Devil's Bargain, if you get that far.
Any old soul is worth saving, at least to a priest, but not every soul is worth buying.
So you can take the offer as a compliment.

-William S. Burroughs
 
2020-08-05 1:18:59 AM  
2 votes:
Yup. I'm selling my made-up 'soul' to your made-up devil contrary to your made-up god.
It's 2020, grow the fark up already.
 
2020-08-05 1:09:37 AM  
2 votes:

Stibium: Yea, there's a big list of folks who sign up for that. Not so many folks care much for the story of Jesus spending an afternoon making a whip so he could go on a tear against the stockbrokers and bankers.


Umm no it wasn't "stockbrokers" or "bankers".
 
2020-08-05 1:06:43 AM  
2 votes:

I want that sauce Morty!: If any of this Christianity stuff is actually true, I'm convinced that the devil actually won his rebellion and took God's place as ruler of Heaven. Everything written about him afterwards is propaganda used to solidify his claim to the throne. That's why the religion is so full of wicked and corrupt leaders.


It's chock full of sexy stuff that gets the heart pumping. Solomon has, what, 700 wives? And it was ok and encouraged to throw big rocks at people you don't like? And you can get your fire insurance card and do whatever you want without consequences?

Yea, there's a big list of folks who sign up for that. Not so many folks care much for the story of Jesus spending an afternoon making a whip so he could go on a tear against the stockbrokers and bankers. Not much given to turning the other cheek either. (Which was heinously offensive back then by the way, because you'd have to slap with your other, clean hand. You'd make the person angry enough to forget themselves and thus sully what little hygiene the abuser had.)

But yea, lots of sexy stuff to get people in the door and the money to come rolling in. A racket as meek and simple as that is bound to attract every grifter imaginable.

In fact, it's amazing to me that Donald never figured that out for himself and established his own cult.
 
2020-08-05 1:03:43 AM  
2 votes:
Republicans against abortion to "save lives" is BS.

1.7 MILLION embryos have been thrown away from fertility clinics.

When was the last time you heard Republicans politicians talk about banning that or them making this an issue?

When an embryo is not inside a woman they don't give a shiat about it.
 
2020-08-05 1:03:00 AM  
2 votes:
SLAYER!!!!!! \m/
 
2020-08-05 12:45:33 AM  
2 votes:
How did I know that it was going to be this sleazy mutherfugger before I even clicked the link?

He knows when Trump goes down, his little fundie gravy train of endless tax-free taxpayer cash comes to a screeching halt.
 
2020-08-05 12:42:53 AM  
2 votes:
What is the going rate for an everlasting soul anyway?
 
2020-08-05 12:41:11 AM  
2 votes:
He isn't saying anything that hasn't already been said by RWNJs for...I dunno...how long now?  It's become overtly toxic the last few years, though.  Open dialogues have gone out the window, and there is no discussion left to be had when it has been decided that you and your beliefs are "evil".  Not just wrong, "evil".  There is no logical argument you can use against that type of judgement.  I've just given up.
 
2020-08-05 12:34:27 AM  
2 votes:
Gee, and I don't even get demon sex out of it?

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


How about a demon backrub, at least.
 
2020-08-06 12:21:31 AM  
1 vote:

BMFPitt: Mugato: Many people vote republicans only for the abortion issue. If abortion was illegal they'd have no reason to vote.

They'd vote to keep it illegal.


Perhaps. But in a lot less droves.
 
2020-08-05 8:52:58 PM  
1 vote:

Tyrone Slothrop: Langdon_777: I take this turd isn't up to date with the Lucifer series.  He has changed a lot since the Garden of Eden.

It wasn't even Lucifer in the Garden, just one of his subordinates.
[pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com image 850×478]

I didn't see a comment from you in this thread, so I don't know if you caught the Quarantine Special that the two main characters made on the 30th Anniversary of the original publication of Good Omens, but just in case you haven't, enjoy:
Good Omens: Lockdown
Youtube quSXoj8Kob0

Alphax: He should watch this clip.  He might learn something.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/AnmGthpl​AUM]

I never watched that series because I know that "Lucifer" in the Bible was never Satan in the first place, nor any fallen angel. He's just a human being, albeit the most politically powerful one known to exist or have ever existed as far as the Israelites of the time knew: the King of Babylon. Isaiah chapter 14, the only place where "Lucifer" is mentioned (and only in the KJV and a few other translations at that), says this outright.

It's based on the Neil Gaiman's DC Comics version of the character from Sandman and the Lucifer comics, right?

That video clip, which echoes a scene from his Sandman appearance (where Dream goes to Hell to challenge Lucifer for the soul of Nada, prompting Lucifer to quit being ruler of Hell and to shut the place down), makes me wonder about another fictional version of Satan, namely, the South Park version (R.I.P.?).

Only Mormons go to South Park's "Heaven" and everyone else goes to its "Hell." But why? Mormonism is very much not the true religion in the South Park world. Even discounting Joseph Smith's history as summarized in "All About the Mormons," there's also the fact that neither the South Park "God" nor "Satan" look human, and the angels (as seen in "BFF") have wings. In LDS theology, God and Satan are both fully human in form, as are angels. "Wings" spoken of in the Bible are symbolic, not literal. Also, the whole idea that only Mormons would go to "Heaven" is itself a contradiction of LDS theology which holds that there are multiple levels of "Heaven" and that everyone who doesn't blaspheme the Holy Ghost will at least achieve the lowest level, and those that live by whatever religious or moral or ethical code they believe to the best of their ability will achieve the middle level which is at least as good as the Garden of Eden.

I speculate that the reason is that other religions believe that you need only confess sins to God (most Protestants) or to a priest (Catholics) to have them absolved, or even that you only have to accept Jesus Christ as Personal Savior to be saved (Dispensationalism and others). So, when you die, you still have feelings of guilt over what you did to friends and family and even people you didn't know nor care about while alive, and those keep you from walking out of Hell because you don't feel worthy of Heaven.

The LDS believe that you have to confess sins to the people you wronged, do your best to make restitution, and beg their forgiveness (they don't have to give it, but you're supposed to ask), and only then does the blood of Christ fully wash the sins away. All sins are offenses against God and need to be confessed to Him, but sins against others need to be confessed to them as well. So LDS who truly live by that would be the only ones who feel that they have truly recompensed those who they wronged to the best of their ability, and thus not feel the need to be punished in Hell.
 
2020-08-05 3:44:43 PM  
1 vote:
I wonder what Jeffress and his ilk would think of the prophecies of "Bands"?

tonguedepressor: saturn badger: tonguedepressor: What is the going rate for an everlasting soul anyway?

Three fiddy

Was expecting at least a 72 Trans Am....what a rip.

Massively Multiplayer Addict: The Devil's a pretty nice guy actually. I' d happily give him my soul anytime!

I'm reminded of how the "Satan" of South Park is portrayed as much nicer than the "God" thereof. Stan Marsh asked God a question on the eve of Y2K (that he was pretty much maneuvered into asking) and the whole world briefly hated him for it because he wasted humanity's one question per millennium to ask of God (Stan asked why he hadn't gotten his period yet). Years later, Stan asked Satan a question and Satan sat in Stan's bedroom and patiently explained the mechanism of addiction (he then did possess Stan, but he asked permission first, so that he could confront Beelzeboot the Canadian Devil).
 
2020-08-05 11:21:46 AM  
1 vote:
You know, there used to be some sort of law that prohibited churches from using their pulpits to force congregations to vote for one candidate and not vote for the other.

But here we see an in-broad-daylight violation where some preacher is openly telling christians if they vote Biden they're going straight to Hell. That's no mere "vote with your conscience" type of gentle prodding. That's using a cattle prod and a baseball bat.
 
2020-08-05 8:40:49 AM  
1 vote:

jjorsett: Well if you DON'T vote for him, you ain't Black, so you have a choice here, don't you? You're either Black or a lover of Satan. Whaddaya gonna do?


Keep reaching, it is entertaining to watch you fail.
 
2020-08-05 8:12:05 AM  
1 vote:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-05 7:43:37 AM  
1 vote:

edmo: If Republicans are so against abortion, why didn't they pass a law against it the first two years of Trump's term? They've got a conservative SCOTUS. Always promising to kill abortion if you vote for them yet it never happens. Weird.


In many states, abortion for all practical purposes is illegal, unless you're rich. Stop pretending Republicans are making no inroads on this.
 
2020-08-05 7:43:07 AM  
1 vote:
Too late.  Supposedly I've already sold my soul to the Devil by believing that the Earth is round, more than 6,000 year old, and orbits around the Sun.
 
2020-08-05 7:32:47 AM  
1 vote:
If god is all-powerful, can he make a cock so big that he himself can't suck it?
 
2020-08-05 7:27:59 AM  
1 vote:
I mean, Hell seems a lot safer than here. Nobody dies from eternal damnation.
 
2020-08-05 7:08:16 AM  
1 vote:
So wait?

We have to put with aaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllll this bullshait because of abortion rights?

Fark you.
 
2020-08-05 5:43:37 AM  
1 vote:
Well it's only for 4 to 8 years so it's really more of a long term lease.
 
2020-08-05 2:13:15 AM  
1 vote:

Znuh: STOP GIVING STUPID PEOPLE AIRTIME.


But most people watching and buying all that shiat ads are shilling wanna see stupid people.
 
2020-08-05 1:47:11 AM  
1 vote:
When you can't beat your opponent of facts,
threaten everybody with eternal harm (from him) if they don't do what you want.

This Loser can't even argue against facts.
 
2020-08-05 1:46:55 AM  
1 vote:
I wouldn't listen to him about selling souls because he clearly got a bad deal for his.
 
2020-08-05 1:36:45 AM  
1 vote:

bughunter: gameshowhost: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/fgcWOzau​LxI?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]

Sounds of Hell?

I kept waiting for the payoff...

Left disappointed.

Here.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/KlMZY77B​eUQ]


I figured the mutant infant was entertainment enough.
 
2020-08-05 1:36:06 AM  
1 vote:
i have typed and deleted a bunch of thoughts/comments and have ultimately decided to go with; go fark your self.
 
2020-08-05 1:24:00 AM  
1 vote:

SoberCannibal: Satan: that's the deal and all I want in return is your everlasting soul.

Evangelist : wait, there must be a catch somewhere.


Satan: You won't go to Heaven.

Evangelist: You mean I'll go to hell?

Satan: Where do you think you are?
 
2020-08-05 1:16:44 AM  
1 vote:
Whatever it takes, dude.
 
2020-08-05 1:15:17 AM  
1 vote:
Satan: that's the deal and all I want in return is your everlasting soul.

Evangelist : wait, there must be a catch somewhere.
 
2020-08-05 1:12:20 AM  
1 vote:

saturn badger: tonguedepressor: What is the going rate for an everlasting soul anyway?

Three fiddy


Was expecting at least a 72 Trans Am....what a rip.
 
2020-08-05 1:05:48 AM  
1 vote:
What d'ya reckon I'll get for it, hmmm?  A shiatty, broken country infested with southern fried trash, evangelicals and Nazis?  What kind of deal is that?
 
2020-08-05 1:02:29 AM  
1 vote:

Harry_Seldon: Satan does not exist. It was created as a tool of oppression and control.


Yes we should only use scientifically validated methods of control.

Like political correctness.
 
2020-08-05 1:01:59 AM  
1 vote:
I got no love, no love you'd call real.
 
2020-08-05 12:58:49 AM  
1 vote:
Can't sell what isn't mine and I don't have.

/Wife's a redhead
 
2020-08-05 12:56:51 AM  
1 vote:

Hillbilly Jim: tonguedepressor: What is the going rate for an everlasting soul anyway?

A lot cheaper than the duracell soul or the eniguzer soul.


Not to mention counterfeit souls. Damn things aren't worth the sek to make em. Don't even bother asking for a refund if you get stuck with one.
 
2020-08-05 12:53:49 AM  
1 vote:

tonguedepressor: What is the going rate for an everlasting soul anyway?


A lot cheaper than the duracell soul or the eniguzer soul.
 
2020-08-05 12:50:51 AM  
1 vote:

tonguedepressor: What is the going rate for an everlasting soul anyway?


All the gold you can eat.
 
2020-08-05 12:46:30 AM  
1 vote:
Hey man don't spread that information around, I want to see if I can get some scotch and smokes in the deal when I trade in November and the Devil isn't gonna negotiate if he knows my price.
 
2020-08-05 12:33:59 AM  
1 vote:
There's a black hole in this guy's shirt and it's sucking his head in through his collar.

deadstate.orgView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 11:14:44 PM  
1 vote:
Goo , because God clearly failed us.
 
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