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3319 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2020 at 4:14 PM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-08-04 4:32:35 PM  
12 votes:
Fire ants typically form a mound to protect the queen, with the mound then floating on the water. Anyone who comes into contact with the fire ants can get bitten, causing a "fierce reaction or apoplectic shock," according to the county.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 4:20:29 PM  
10 votes:
The only thing that stops ants with chainsaws are anteaters with bulldozers.
 
2020-08-04 4:51:29 PM  
8 votes:
Well, when the crabs have knives, the fire ants need chainsaws to defend themselves

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 4:27:37 PM  
8 votes:

Amish Tech Support: The only thing that stops ants with chainsaws are anteaters with bulldozers.


Hmm... Sounds like a perfect plan, till you factor in that even the coldest winter won't affect gorillas with flamethrowers.
 
2020-08-04 2:18:30 PM  
7 votes:
Chainsaw slinging fireants are taking our jerbs.
 
2020-08-04 5:45:52 PM  
5 votes:
Chainsaws are obviously dangerous, but I've never had a hard time using them safely.

Fire ants, on the other hand, seem like a dangerous way to remove fallen trees.
 
2020-08-04 4:18:55 PM  
5 votes:
Great work, 2020. Now the fire ants have chainsaws.

Brilliant!
 
2020-08-04 4:50:13 PM  
4 votes:
SciFi has already acquired the movie rights for all combinations of chainsaws and fire ants

Antsaws
Firechains
Chainfires
Antfires
Police Ant-cademy: Chainsaws on Patrol
Chainants
...
 
2020-08-04 4:41:18 PM  
3 votes:
if i posted a sign on my apartment building that asked 'please don't juggle chainsaws in this area - people are trying to sleep', the gutters would be rivers of gore by the time i got up the first flight of stairs.

because people are stupid inconsiderate assholes.
 
2020-08-04 7:25:31 PM  
2 votes:
Chainsaw

Well what is it, a chain or a saw?

Tell it to make up its mind and come on back.

- G. Carlin
 
2020-08-04 6:07:50 PM  
2 votes:
Wow! A hurricane hit NC! This never happens. Journalism. SMH.
 
2020-08-04 4:49:49 PM  
2 votes:
Ain't clicking on a fox news link.
 
2020-08-04 4:30:38 PM  
2 votes:

uttertosh: Amish Tech Support: The only thing that stops ants with chainsaws are anteaters with bulldozers.

Hmm... Sounds like a perfect plan, till you factor in that even the coldest winter won't affect gorillas with flamethrowers.


Giving gorillas flamethrowers to cook their food and keep warm in the Wiinter. Isn't that how you get Planet of the Apes? It is like a New Prometheus giving humans the gift of divine fire.
 
2020-08-04 10:27:29 PM  
1 vote:

Drunken Rampage: Voiceofreason01: Drunken Rampage: mcmnky: Ain't clicking on a fox news link.

The Virtue Signaling Corps thanks you for your service!

You're definitely Fox News viewer.

Fark handle does not check out.

/You're incorrect, BTW.
// I expected far worse
/// Must be three


Fox News: "WAAAA! How dare you criticize us for lying! WAAAA!"
 
2020-08-04 8:47:40 PM  
1 vote:

OldRod: Well, when the crabs have knives, the fire ants need chainsaws to defend themselves

[Fark user image 500x281] [View Full Size image _x_]



As I walk through the park of destroyed trailers
I take a look at the debris and realize there's not much left
coz I've been drinkin' and hicking so long, that
even Lord Trump thinks that my mind is gone

Crabs with knives
Fire ants with chainsaws!
you better watch how you're talking, and where you're walking
or you and your dogs might be lined in chalk

I really hate to burp but I gotta
As I Grow I see myself in the shotgun smoke, derp
I'm the kinda dude the young'uns wanna be like
on my knees in the night, saying prayers by the fish fry

been spending most their lives, living in a hillbilly paradise
been spending most their lives, living in a hillbilly paradise
been spending most their lives, living in a hillbilly paradise
been spending most their lives, living in a hillbilly paradise
 
2020-08-04 6:13:55 PM  
1 vote:
North Carolina warns residents not to become Florida Man
 
2020-08-04 4:36:26 PM  
1 vote:
Wait til you see the look on the faces of gorillas when their flamethrower hits a couple chainsaws!

/ ants always win
// although gorillas have apple watches
 
2020-08-04 4:31:34 PM  
1 vote:

Amish Tech Support: The only thing that stops ants with chainsaws are anteaters with bulldozers.


I don't know about that. It seems to me arming the ants with chainsaws make them vulnerable to good guys with guns and flamethrowers.
 
2020-08-04 4:15:12 PM  
1 vote:
ban chainsaws

problem solved
 
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