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    More: Murica, Tornado, Tropical cyclone, Storm, Tropical Storm Isaias, Carbon monoxide, North Carolina, Pender County EMS, Wind  
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3322 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2020 at 4:14 PM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



33 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-04 2:18:30 PM  
Chainsaw slinging fireants are taking our jerbs.
 
2020-08-04 4:15:12 PM  
ban chainsaws

problem solved
 
2020-08-04 4:18:55 PM  
Great work, 2020. Now the fire ants have chainsaws.

Brilliant!
 
2020-08-04 4:20:29 PM  
The only thing that stops ants with chainsaws are anteaters with bulldozers.
 
2020-08-04 4:27:37 PM  

Amish Tech Support: The only thing that stops ants with chainsaws are anteaters with bulldozers.


Hmm... Sounds like a perfect plan, till you factor in that even the coldest winter won't affect gorillas with flamethrowers.
 
2020-08-04 4:29:09 PM  
Isaias has made the chain saws and fire ants air-born!

Oh, Noes. It is chainsaw-nado, with fire ants!

Then again, maybe the article just warns Carolingeans to be cautious and play safe using chainsaws cleaning up after the hurricane because chainsaws are dangerous and fire ants are often lurking in the shrubbery after a storm.

One of those explanations is a fark headline, the other is ho-hum, in Romano territory.
 
2020-08-04 4:30:38 PM  

uttertosh: Amish Tech Support: The only thing that stops ants with chainsaws are anteaters with bulldozers.

Hmm... Sounds like a perfect plan, till you factor in that even the coldest winter won't affect gorillas with flamethrowers.


Giving gorillas flamethrowers to cook their food and keep warm in the Wiinter. Isn't that how you get Planet of the Apes? It is like a New Prometheus giving humans the gift of divine fire.
 
2020-08-04 4:31:34 PM  

Amish Tech Support: The only thing that stops ants with chainsaws are anteaters with bulldozers.


I don't know about that. It seems to me arming the ants with chainsaws make them vulnerable to good guys with guns and flamethrowers.
 
2020-08-04 4:32:35 PM  
Fire ants typically form a mound to protect the queen, with the mound then floating on the water. Anyone who comes into contact with the fire ants can get bitten, causing a "fierce reaction or apoplectic shock," according to the county.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 4:36:26 PM  
Wait til you see the look on the faces of gorillas when their flamethrower hits a couple chainsaws!

/ ants always win
// although gorillas have apple watches
 
2020-08-04 4:38:42 PM  
No better way to feel alive and fully awake than to have a close call with a chain saw.
 
2020-08-04 4:41:18 PM  
if i posted a sign on my apartment building that asked 'please don't juggle chainsaws in this area - people are trying to sleep', the gutters would be rivers of gore by the time i got up the first flight of stairs.

because people are stupid inconsiderate assholes.
 
2020-08-04 4:41:39 PM  
Better and water arachnids and rope knives.
 
2020-08-04 4:41:50 PM  

RussianPotato: No better way to feel alive and fully awake than to have a close call with a chain saw.


Getting bitten by fire ants is no walk in the park. Sure, loss of limb is unlikely but you might wish that leg were gone.
 
2020-08-04 4:44:10 PM  

RussianPotato: No better way to feel alive and fully awake than to have a close call with a chain saw.


You must not ride motorcycles ;-)
 
2020-08-04 4:49:49 PM  
Ain't clicking on a fox news link.
 
2020-08-04 4:50:13 PM  
SciFi has already acquired the movie rights for all combinations of chainsaws and fire ants

Antsaws
Firechains
Chainfires
Antfires
Police Ant-cademy: Chainsaws on Patrol
Chainants
...
 
2020-08-04 4:51:29 PM  
Well, when the crabs have knives, the fire ants need chainsaws to defend themselves

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 4:59:51 PM  

mcmnky: Ain't clicking on a fox news link.


The Virtue Signaling Corps thanks you for your service!
 
2020-08-04 5:33:33 PM  
Chainsaw wielding fire ants?
 
2020-08-04 5:43:58 PM  
Chainsaws are not to be farking around with

I use the loppers until I can't. We had several large limbs come down in the last few hours. Was already out clearing some. Chainsaw will come out when the conditions are safer
 
2020-08-04 5:45:52 PM  
Chainsaws are obviously dangerous, but I've never had a hard time using them safely.

Fire ants, on the other hand, seem like a dangerous way to remove fallen trees.
 
2020-08-04 6:01:30 PM  

kindms: Chainsaws are not to be farking around with

I use the loppers until I can't. We had several large limbs come down in the last few hours. Was already out clearing some. Chainsaw will come out when the conditions are safer


A friend of mine's wife is one of the safest, most sensible people you could ever meet. Unless you let her build a fire or use a chainsaw and then she turns into an absolute lunatic. Like Leatherface himself would be standing back saying "Daaaaamn!"
 
2020-08-04 6:07:50 PM  
Wow! A hurricane hit NC! This never happens. Journalism. SMH.
 
2020-08-04 6:13:55 PM  
North Carolina warns residents not to become Florida Man
 
2020-08-04 6:35:21 PM  

Thank You Black Jesus!: if i posted a sign on my apartment building that asked 'please don't juggle chainsaws in this area - people are trying to sleep', the gutters would be rivers of gore by the time i got up the first flight of stairs.

because people are stupid inconsiderate assholes.


Best post ever, or just best visual?
 
2020-08-04 7:25:31 PM  
Chainsaw

Well what is it, a chain or a saw?

Tell it to make up its mind and come on back.

- G. Carlin
 
2020-08-04 8:32:21 PM  

Drunken Rampage: mcmnky: Ain't clicking on a fox news link.

The Virtue Signaling Corps thanks you for your service!


You're definitely Fox News viewer.
 
2020-08-04 8:44:52 PM  

Voiceofreason01: Drunken Rampage: mcmnky: Ain't clicking on a fox news link.

The Virtue Signaling Corps thanks you for your service!

You're definitely Fox News viewer.


Fark handle does not check out.

/You're incorrect, BTW.
// I expected far worse
/// Must be three
 
2020-08-04 8:47:40 PM  

OldRod: Well, when the crabs have knives, the fire ants need chainsaws to defend themselves

[Fark user image 500x281] [View Full Size image _x_]



As I walk through the park of destroyed trailers
I take a look at the debris and realize there's not much left
coz I've been drinkin' and hicking so long, that
even Lord Trump thinks that my mind is gone

Crabs with knives
Fire ants with chainsaws!
you better watch how you're talking, and where you're walking
or you and your dogs might be lined in chalk

I really hate to burp but I gotta
As I Grow I see myself in the shotgun smoke, derp
I'm the kinda dude the young'uns wanna be like
on my knees in the night, saying prayers by the fish fry

been spending most their lives, living in a hillbilly paradise
been spending most their lives, living in a hillbilly paradise
been spending most their lives, living in a hillbilly paradise
been spending most their lives, living in a hillbilly paradise
 
2020-08-04 10:03:26 PM  
Make sure that jugular is covered.
 
2020-08-04 10:27:29 PM  

Drunken Rampage: Voiceofreason01: Drunken Rampage: mcmnky: Ain't clicking on a fox news link.

The Virtue Signaling Corps thanks you for your service!

You're definitely Fox News viewer.

Fark handle does not check out.

/You're incorrect, BTW.
// I expected far worse
/// Must be three


Fox News: "WAAAA! How dare you criticize us for lying! WAAAA!"
 
2020-08-05 1:29:38 AM  

Voiceofreason01: Drunken Rampage: Voiceofreason01: Drunken Rampage: mcmnky: Ain't clicking on a fox news link.

The Virtue Signaling Corps thanks you for your service!

You're definitely Fox News viewer.

Fark handle does not check out.

/You're incorrect, BTW.
// I expected far worse
/// Must be three

Fox News: "WAAAA! How dare you criticize us for lying! WAAAA!"


Have we all forgotten "alternative facts" already? I know the last 3.5 years have felt like an eternity to me anyway.
 
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