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(Mirror.co.uk)   Regarding Kim Jon Un: "It's not that he has public toilet anxiety - it's all part of his plan to protect his feces from falling into the wrong hands"   (mirror.co.uk) divider line
    More: Weird, Kim Jong-il, North Korea, South Korea, Korean language, Kim Il-sung, Kim Jong-un, Korea, Korean War  
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4800 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 04 Aug 2020 at 2:26 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



56 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-08-04 1:16:14 PM  
Or, and hear me out on this....

Or they don't make extra plus sized toilets in North Korea....
 
2020-08-04 2:13:22 PM  
He has worms.
 
2020-08-04 2:16:22 PM  
"His royalness needs more bean curd in his diet! Also, maybe cut down on the cheeses..."
 
2020-08-04 2:27:26 PM  
True that.  Ancestry.com is unbelievably aggressive in harvesting DNA data.
 
2020-08-04 2:28:44 PM  
Do his feces still cure cancer?  Gotta lock that market down.
 
2020-08-04 2:31:29 PM  
What a weird item to mention in an obituary.
 
2020-08-04 2:32:51 PM  
It's a gift from Donald, it's the only gold plated throne in all of Best Korea.

Kim doesn't actually like the gaudy thing, but the idea of dumping on something from Trump makes it worth using over an ordinary porcelain toilet.
 
2020-08-04 2:33:04 PM  
The feces of Kim Jong Un is a rarer and expensive commodity than the element Rhodium.

Fun fact I totally just made up.
 
2020-08-04 2:33:43 PM  
This being North Korea, I can only assume that's not a euphemism.
 
2020-08-04 2:37:08 PM  
That's not an unreasonable fear.

https://toilet-guru.com/blog/13.php

Getting stool and urine samples of foreign leaders has been done before.
 
2020-08-04 2:37:40 PM  
If feces are falling into hands, that's not how the toilet is supposed to work.

Maybe that's why he's shy?
 
2020-08-04 2:38:22 PM  
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I see Kim's a fan of all the classic old gags.

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2020-08-04 2:38:46 PM  
I seem to recall back in the day the CIA mounted an operation to collect the feces of Leonid Brezhnev by tapping into the sewer under an embassy.  They wanted to assess his health.  So being butt-shy is not without precedent.
 
2020-08-04 2:39:04 PM  
Are people selling it as designer coffee or something?
 
2020-08-04 2:39:15 PM  
Stalin actually had a program to acquire the feces of other world leaders for analysis. Not ENTIRELY far fetched to think that other countries might still be doing the same thing, although it is unclear what sort of data they would get from it.
 
2020-08-04 2:42:46 PM  
North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un is said to have private toilets built into his bulletproof Mercedes.

Probably he got it from this guy:
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2020-08-04 2:43:18 PM  
He's concerned witches are going to steal his feces and use it to create potions of superhuman intelligence and charisma.

Cuz he's that smart and good-looking...
 
2020-08-04 2:45:33 PM  
Something has to be done about North Korea.
 
2020-08-04 2:47:48 PM  
The US Secret Service has done this for decades, regardless of who the president is.
 
2020-08-04 2:48:02 PM  
As many have pointed out, it's been done before.

Another point though.  Totalitarian leaders like Kim also make sure bizarre rumors about them and their regime are floating about.  It makes the populace at large unable to tell truth from fiction and prevents people from developing trust in anything but the Leader.
 
2020-08-04 2:51:55 PM  
Isn't this motherfarker supposed to be dead?
 
2020-08-04 2:52:05 PM  
what lucky bastard has the job of collecting said dookie and getting rid of it?
 
2020-08-04 2:54:59 PM  
"There are multiple vehicles within the convoy so that people cannot tell which one he is in, and there is a separate car that acts as his restroom.

"That source was privy to the escort command tasked with guarding the dictator."

So Kim Jong-Un is using informants as toilets now?
 
2020-08-04 2:57:54 PM  
Stalin had a habit of collecting the poo of other leaders to study them.

/True fact you didn't really want.
 
2020-08-04 2:58:07 PM  

Do you know the way to Mordor: "There are multiple vehicles within the convoy so that people cannot tell which one he is in, and there is a separate car that acts as his restroom.

"That source was privy to the escort command tasked with guarding the dictator."

So Kim Jong-Un is using informants as toilets now?


They're called "centipedes."
 
2020-08-04 2:58:56 PM  

bthom37: The US Secret Service has done this for decades, regardless of who the president is.


^^^^this

Of all the weird shiat to publish about KJU, this is not one of them.
 
2020-08-04 3:00:15 PM  
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You don't scare me! I got chunks of you...
 
2020-08-04 3:02:48 PM  
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Tom Brady knows all about this.
 
2020-08-04 3:11:20 PM  

Mindlock: Totalitarian leaders


Toiletarian leaders

FTFY
 
2020-08-04 3:15:34 PM  
If you had his feces, you could extract the DNA, clone him, then replace the real Kim with his non-evil twin.
 
2020-08-04 3:16:56 PM  

bthom37: The US Secret Service has done this for decades, regardless of who the president is.


Seriously?  I wonder how they give out that assignment.  They think they'll be protecting POTUS, running down threats, lots of exotic locales, carrying the nuclear football.  Nope... you carry the poo bag, military aide has the football, and Pres doesn't visit Tahiti.
 
2020-08-04 3:17:23 PM  
Is he afraid that someone will use his feces to make a replica of him?
 
2020-08-04 3:17:51 PM  

CordycepsInYourBrain: If you had his feces, you could extract the DNA, clone him, then replace the real Kim with his non-evil twin.


Ooh... nice.  Name him Kim Jong Dos.
 
2020-08-04 3:18:55 PM  
Damn fool is just like his luv-bud trump: both don't give a shiat do they?
 
2020-08-04 3:23:11 PM  
I think one would be better off checking his laundry basket or bed sheets
 
2020-08-04 3:27:04 PM  
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2020-08-04 3:29:35 PM  
Huh, the Pacific Marmot is one of the only animals that eats it's own shiat; one of the theories is that it's so that predators can't track them.

I bet he saw the same documentary as me!
 
2020-08-04 3:31:14 PM  
 
2020-08-04 3:32:27 PM  

treesloth: CordycepsInYourBrain: If you had his feces, you could extract the DNA, clone him, then replace the real Kim with his non-evil twin.

Ooh... nice.  Name him Kim Jong Dos.


Kim Jong Deux.
 
2020-08-04 3:33:46 PM  

treesloth: bthom37: The US Secret Service has done this for decades, regardless of who the president is.

Seriously?  I wonder how they give out that assignment.  They think they'll be protecting POTUS, running down threats, lots of exotic locales, carrying the nuclear football.  Nope... you carry the poo bag, military aide has the football, and Pres doesn't visit Tahiti.


I feel sorry for the agents, that man eats no veggies
 
2020-08-04 3:37:36 PM  

treesloth: bthom37: The US Secret Service has done this for decades, regardless of who the president is.

Seriously?  I wonder how they give out that assignment.  They think they'll be protecting POTUS, running down threats, lots of exotic locales, carrying the nuclear football.  Nope... you carry the poo bag, military aide has the football, and Pres doesn't visit Tahiti.


Could you imagine being "the new guy" who had to do that...and then they have a hiring freeze so you're stuck as new guy for a long time?
"This isn't what I signed up for."
 
2020-08-04 3:40:14 PM  
"Anyone caught using one of his personal toilets - which are managed by his bodyguards - could be sentenced to death, even a high-ranking confidante, it is claimed."

Im fine with all this.
 
2020-08-04 3:41:00 PM  

bthom37: The US Secret Service has done this for decades, regardless of who the president is.


Poop has a wealth of medical information from what you've been eating and your health to the medications you're on. It's valuable intelligence to a foreign power which is exactly why the Secret Service does this. And to hide the fact that the President, any President, is actually an alien reptiloid, of course.
 
2020-08-04 3:55:44 PM  
actually all the comments you made are quite true, this did happen...

LBJ used to take a crap with the door open.... but if one of his aides needed to talk to mr white or mr brown, as we all must... he used to tear a strip off of them and tell 'em to do that on their own time........ what an asshole !!

I'm getting more of a Fururama/ AAchi and SSipak vibe from this.... his holy mighty poo can run starships and is the most potent fuel source there...... so naturally it must be protected, guarded.,.......

if you haven't seen the movie "Aachi and Ssipak", you should....... it's a gas....it's the shiat so to speak......
imaginine getting that secret service assgnment.... we are here to protect the president..and someone's gotta carry the can.... yes, Jenkins... the new guy... he's perfect.... arent YOU the lucky one.....
 
2020-08-04 4:12:57 PM  
An article about collecting poop to gather intelligence. https://foreignpolicy.c​om/2016/02/02/w​ho-does-no-2-work-for/

FTA: "The story really went viral after the BBC picked up the tidbit about how the KGB installed special toilets that directed Mao's precious bodily fluids into secret boxes for analysis."
 
2020-08-04 4:24:14 PM  
Oh, so Kim Jung Un has one of these:

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2020-08-04 4:31:15 PM  

bthom37: The US Secret Service has done this for decades, regardless of who the president is.


Not just poop. There's a Secret Service member who's job it is to take any class used for drinking outside the WH and destroy it to protect DNA confidentiality. Read about it during the Obama years.
 
2020-08-04 4:36:51 PM  

DRTFA: [Fark user image 322x157]
Tom Brady knows all about this.


the spice.  The Spice Mélange
 
2020-08-04 4:50:00 PM  

treesloth: bthom37: The US Secret Service has done this for decades, regardless of who the president is.

Seriously?  I wonder how they give out that assignment.  They think they'll be protecting POTUS, running down threats, lots of exotic locales, carrying the nuclear football.  Nope... you carry the poo bag, military aide has the football, and Pres doesn't visit Tahiti.


Luckily I'm gg allin
 
2020-08-04 5:31:00 PM  
Well, if you were the Top Best Korean of Best Korea with the Best Sh*t which everyone wants to steal, maybe you'd be afraid of losing your sh*t too.
 
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