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(Jalopnik)   I like your new mini-van. "Thanks, it has a pocket"   (jalopnik.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Pickup truck, Ford Motor Company, Ford F-Series, Ford Ranger, new compact pickup truck, Ford Maverick, length of the cargo bed, earlier reports  
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1792 clicks; posted to Geek » on 04 Aug 2020 at 12:30 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-03 8:30:39 PM  
Add that to the steaming piles of shiat designed by people who never actually owned a pickup that was used for doing pickupy stuff.

Remember this POS?

Fark user imageView Full Size


No interior storage, and the exterior was virtually useless unless you paid $800 for a lockable "bed" cover that left you with less cubic footage than a Focus hatchback with the rear seats still folded up for occupancy.

I guess it's the perfect design for guys who want to tell the world they have a huge flaccid penis that only allows them to piss down their pant leg into their shoes, and nothing else.
 
2020-08-03 8:34:23 PM  
Also known as the "Overweight Contractor Edition".
 
2020-08-03 10:30:05 PM  
The back is just hilariously stupid. I'd make the people who designed and signed off on this thing own one for a few years as punishment. I mean, wtf are you going to put in the back? You couldn't even put your dog in there without seeming like a giant ass prick who hates his dog.

i.kinja-img.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-03 10:35:54 PM  
The styling is unlikely to win fans amongst those of us blessed with the gift of sight.
 
2020-08-03 11:52:54 PM  
Just get an El Camino, ese, and stop arguing about bedspace. Chevy got you covered. 

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 12:21:06 AM  
What's the point of owning a "truck" that can't hold a 4x8 sheet of plywood flat in the back?
 
2020-08-04 12:38:45 AM  
I could pack more into the back of a Prius than that 'truck" would hold.
 
2020-08-04 12:45:13 AM  

Barfmaker: The back is just hilariously stupid. I'd make the people who designed and signed off on this thing own one for a few years as punishment. I mean, wtf are you going to put in the back? You couldn't even put your dog in there without seeming like a giant ass prick who hates his dog.

[i.kinja-img.com image 800x450]


This image isn't the vehicle that the article is about.

Also, it's called a deckvan, deal with it:
japaneseclassics.comView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size


/What do you mean, what's it used for? What's it not used for?
//Psst, hey, you, what's it used for?
///¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
2020-08-04 12:47:50 AM  
Look guys. We're really missing out on the segment in between "can't afford anything better than a Focus" and "wants a Ranger but isn't ready to commit to something that looks like a truck". I'm just saying, put a Focus front end on it and give it a small bed, and we'll be racking up the sales.

We've got to think outside the box. People like crossovers, right? And people love our trucks. Well, this will be a sedan crossed over into, get this, a truck!

Let's do this!
 
2020-08-04 12:49:34 AM  

h2ogate: What's the point of owning a "truck" that can't hold a 4x8 sheet of plywood flat in the back?


Heck, the minivan this is based on can hold 4x8 plywood/drywall. This is just two tons of stupid.
 
2020-08-04 1:13:28 AM  

Barfmaker: The back is just hilariously stupid. I'd make the people who designed and signed off on this thing own one for a few years as punishment. I mean, wtf are you going to put in the back? You couldn't even put your dog in there without seeming like a giant ass prick who hates his dog.

[i.kinja-img.com image 800x450]


Read the caption below the image. It's a mock-up of a Ford Galaxy edited to look like a pick-up.

It also looks like a house slipper.
 
2020-08-04 1:14:20 AM  
I drove my Sport Trac for 220,000+ miles over 13 years, and I loved it. This thing is is ugly.

Aztek ugly.
 
2020-08-04 1:15:52 AM  
I know this is FARK and all but the first image in the article is an unofficial mockup.
 
2020-08-04 1:32:07 AM  
Trucks have been turning into man vans for years now, might as well complete the process.
 
2020-08-04 2:39:03 AM  
Before y'all get too frothy. TFA is talking about these pics:
Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user imageView Full Size

Not the ridiculous mock up that the author did.
 
2020-08-04 2:43:12 AM  

SumoJeb: Before y'all get too frothy. TFA is talking about these pics:
[Fark user image image 850x478][Fark user image image 850x478]
Not the ridiculous mock up that the author did.


Doesn't seem too bad. Hell, even the F150 Super Crew has like a 5.5 foot bed.
 
2020-08-04 2:46:06 AM  

markie_farkie: Add that to the steaming piles of shiat designed by people who never actually owned a pickup that was used for doing pickupy stuff.

Remember this POS?

[Fark user image image 425x212]

No interior storage, and the exterior was virtually useless unless you paid $800 for a lockable "bed" cover that left you with less cubic footage than a Focus hatchback with the rear seats still folded up for occupancy.

I guess it's the perfect design for guys who want to tell the world they have a huge flaccid penis that only allows them to piss down their pant leg into their shoes, and nothing else.


I am not a truck coinesuer, but unless the truck box is at such an unstandard size, why you'd you buy an $800 cover for your bed? Even the cheapos at Walmart or fleetfarm are $300. Mine only cost me $500, and it is a string lock, but a soft top.
 
2020-08-04 2:57:46 AM  

SumoJeb: Before y'all get too frothy. TFA is talking about these pics:
[Fark user image 850x478][Fark user image 850x478]
Not the ridiculous mock up that the author did.


That just looks like a regular size double cab ute.

africantracks.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 3:05:12 AM  

dyhchong: SumoJeb: Before y'all get too frothy. TFA is talking about these pics:
[Fark user image 850x478][Fark user image 850x478]
Not the ridiculous mock up that the author did.

That just looks like a regular size double cab ute.

[africantracks.com image 700x480]


Except that it is built on a unibody instead of a body on frame chassis. Which means it isn't a truck.
 
2020-08-04 3:14:40 AM  

SumoJeb: dyhchong: SumoJeb: Before y'all get too frothy. TFA is talking about these pics:
[Fark user image 850x478][Fark user image 850x478]
Not the ridiculous mock up that the author did.

That just looks like a regular size double cab ute.

[africantracks.com image 700x480]

Except that it is built on a unibody instead of a body on frame chassis. Which means it isn't a truck.


Shruggie, I didn't call it a truck.

Calling them trucks is an American thing. We don't call them trucks, we call them utes which = utility vehicle.

When I think truck I think my Fuso Canter (example, this is not my one, my one's a half curtainsider with a tail lift):
ktbfuso.co.idView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 3:28:43 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-04 3:40:34 AM  
If you want to own a truck but don't want to help your friends move, do I have the truck for you!
 
2020-08-04 4:57:28 AM  

Delawhat: If you want to own a truck but don't want to help your friends move, do I have the truck for you!


In 1999, in Georgia, I had a female colleague that bought a pick-up with a manual transmission for that purpose.
 
2020-08-04 8:45:14 AM  

Delawhat: If you want to own a truck but don't want to help your friends move, do I have the truck for you!


I own a truck, I don't help friends move. They want to move? Hire a moving company or rent a Uhaul at the very least.
 
2020-08-04 9:30:38 AM  

AppleOptionEsc: markie_farkie: Add that to the steaming piles of shiat designed by people who never actually owned a pickup that was used for doing pickupy stuff.

Remember this POS?

[Fark user image image 425x212]

No interior storage, and the exterior was virtually useless unless you paid $800 for a lockable "bed" cover that left you with less cubic footage than a Focus hatchback with the rear seats still folded up for occupancy.

I guess it's the perfect design for guys who want to tell the world they have a huge flaccid penis that only allows them to piss down their pant leg into their shoes, and nothing else.

I am not a truck coinesuer, but unless the truck box is at such an unstandard size, why you'd you buy an $800 cover for your bed? Even the cheapos at Walmart or fleetfarm are $300. Mine only cost me $500, and it is a string lock, but a soft top.


Low production numbers for that POS and if the buyers are willing to fork out $80k for it, why not charge as much as you can get away with?
 
2020-08-04 9:54:05 AM  

dyhchong: SumoJeb: dyhchong: SumoJeb: Before y'all get too frothy. TFA is talking about these pics:
[Fark user image 850x478][Fark user image 850x478]
Not the ridiculous mock up that the author did.

That just looks like a regular size double cab ute.

[africantracks.com image 700x480]

Except that it is built on a unibody instead of a body on frame chassis. Which means it isn't a truck.

Shruggie, I didn't call it a truck.

Calling them trucks is an American thing. We don't call them trucks, we call them utes which = utility vehicle.

When I think truck I think my Fuso Canter (example, this is not my one, my one's a half curtainsider with a tail lift):
[ktbfuso.co.id image 850x490]


There's a guy in my neck of the (Pennsylvania) woods that has a Fuso equipped with a snow plow. It really stands out, because there are so few here. I'd imagine the visibility while plowing is great with that cab set up.
 
2020-08-04 10:36:29 AM  
What can you put in there that you couldn't put in an enclosed minivan design? It's so small a space that it's pointless.
 
2020-08-04 10:39:07 AM  

Russ1642: What can you put in there that you couldn't put in an enclosed minivan design? It's so small a space that it's pointless.


Manure?
 
2020-08-04 10:41:05 AM  
The best part of that rendering of the blue one is the line someone drew to make it look like the bed is separate.

The one in camouflage looks like a Flex pickup.
 
2020-08-04 11:01:27 AM  
It's a Minivuck!
 
2020-08-04 11:50:32 AM  

We Ate the Necco Wafers: Russ1642: What can you put in there that you couldn't put in an enclosed minivan design? It's so small a space that it's pointless.

Manure?


You know what, I'll give you that one - stinky shiat is better off outside the car. Then again you're probably using the minivan to carry your kids and their friends back from soccer practice and they stink much more than manure. Any other reasons for this stupid design?
 
2020-08-04 12:53:41 PM  

Russ1642: We Ate the Necco Wafers: Russ1642: What can you put in there that you couldn't put in an enclosed minivan design? It's so small a space that it's pointless.

Manure?

You know what, I'll give you that one - stinky shiat is better off outside the car. Then again you're probably using the minivan to carry your kids and their friends back from soccer practice and they stink much more than manure. Any other reasons for this stupid design?


You want to make it easier for people to steal your stuff out the back while you're waiting at a red light?
 
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