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(ABC11 North Carolina)   Funeral workers: I'm not picking him up, you pick him up   (abc11.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, North Carolina, Death, Raleigh, North Carolina, Mark Blake, UNC Rex Hospital, state board, Funeral, medical examiner's office  
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4060 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jul 2020 at 1:17 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



33 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-07-30 1:19:49 AM  
Don't bring out your dead!
 
2020-07-30 1:21:20 AM  
At least they haven't gotten up and started walking on their own... Yet!
 
2020-07-30 1:29:12 AM  
"This guy's dead. Gross."
 
2020-07-30 1:31:38 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-30 1:31:46 AM  

Trik: At least they haven't gotten up and started walking on their own... Yet!


Honestly, zombies would be so much easier to deal with than this shiat. Unlike the Moronic Maskless Masses, you can just shoot zombies.
 
2020-07-30 1:35:23 AM  
😲
 
2020-07-30 1:36:15 AM  

rcain: Time to outfit morticians with asbestos suits and flame throwers for cremation delivery, to char your love ones to COVID free ash at whatever home, office, hospital waiting room or other inconvenient location your lived one thoughtlessly dropped dead at


Their trip to take care of poor Uncle Ziggy at the fireworks factory is gonna be epic.
 
2020-07-30 1:46:29 AM  
Easy solution: Just arm all the funeral workers with 7' long gaff hooks. The bodies are dead so it is not like they are going to feel any pain when you stab then with a 6" long hook and pitch the body into the back of a truck.
 
2020-07-30 1:48:39 AM  
and some thought getting a new date to tell you about any STD's was hard...

dead people don't talk much at all....
 
2020-07-30 1:51:02 AM  

Skeleton Man: Trik: At least they haven't gotten up and started walking on their own... Yet!

Honestly, zombies would be so much easier to deal with than this shiat. Unlike the Moronic Maskless Masses, you can just shoot zombies.


Zombie Rights advocates triggered.
 
2020-07-30 1:53:20 AM  
It's one thing if there may be a shortage of nurses or doctors to treat the thousands of cases flooding into the hospitals, but if there's a shortage of morticians to handle the disposal of thousands of those victims, things in this country are really gonna get frightening.
 
2020-07-30 2:01:24 AM  
"Let's get Mikey!"

"Yeah! He'll pick up anything! Plus, he's wearing a mask."
 
2020-07-30 2:06:28 AM  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-30 2:21:17 AM  
Of corpse they'd refuse!
 
2020-07-30 2:24:35 AM  

jtown: Skeleton Man: Trik: At least they haven't gotten up and started walking on their own... Yet!

Honestly, zombies would be so much easier to deal with than this shiat. Unlike the Moronic Maskless Masses, you can just shoot zombies.

Zombie Rights advocates triggered.


Be careful, the have a vampire as a lawyer.
Hut, hut, hut.
 
2020-07-30 2:51:29 AM  

Skeleton Man: Trik: At least they haven't gotten up and started walking on their own... Yet!

Honestly, zombies would be so much easier to deal with than this shiat. Unlike the Moronic Maskless Masses, you can just shoot zombies.


I'm honestly kind of surprised nobody has decided to live out their zombie apocalypse murder fantasies yet.
 
2020-07-30 3:11:23 AM  
Once the pathologist has completed the autopsy, why not shrink-wrap the deceased? Shrink wrapping allows for safe handling and it eliminates the need for embalming. Because it is transparent, it allows the mourners to see their dearly beloved as they appeared in life. By shrink wrapping the deceased, the family could even have an open casket display of old uncle Harvey or aunt Lucy or, alternatively, they could make arrangements to ship the body directly to the crematorium, to minimize the risk of transport and handling.
 
2020-07-30 3:22:36 AM  

EdAmesAndMrs.: Once the pathologist has completed the autopsy, why not shrink-wrap the deceased? Shrink wrapping allows for safe handling and it eliminates the need for embalming. Because it is transparent, it allows the mourners to see their dearly beloved as they appeared in life. By shrink wrapping the deceased, the family could even have an open casket display of old uncle Harvey or aunt Lucy or, alternatively, they could make arrangements to ship the body directly to the crematorium, to minimize the risk of transport and handling.


memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2020-07-30 3:36:47 AM  

Hills-Sachs_Legion: Skeleton Man: Trik: At least they haven't gotten up and started walking on their own... Yet!

Honestly, zombies would be so much easier to deal with than this shiat. Unlike the Moronic Maskless Masses, you can just shoot zombies.

I'm honestly kind of surprised nobody has decided to live out their zombie apocalypse murder fantasies yet.


They have. It's called the Boogaloo Movement.
 
2020-07-30 3:52:40 AM  
This is common sense. But no one cares about the workers.
 
2020-07-30 4:17:07 AM  
Requiring that hospitals disclose which bodies are plague bodies so you know what precautions to take is a pretty reasonable demand, and refusing to take any bodies from hospital that won't disclose that information is a very reasonable response to a refusal to disclose.

This... isn't some sort of alien mystery pathogen.  It's a virus, actually a really common general strain of virus whose behavior in livestock etc is well-understood.  Contact with dead infected animals is actually part of the theoretical origin of this strain (where the adaptation allowed it to jump to humans), people handling and eating wildlife from areas where the diseases are common.  In livestock dead animals are also removed from herds quickly as potential continuing infection risks.  Also just... in terms of basic science viruses aren't "living organisms" in quite the same sense as cellular life, and one of the differences is that they don't "starve".  So long as the general chemical makeup of the aqueous solution/colloid they're in persists there's no reason to think the viruses would magically deactivate or disappear by default, they're just a big molecule, basically.

Basically there's no level on which the funeral workers are anything less than 100% objectively correct to request this.  They're 100% right because of the specific medical recommendations regarding the pandemic, they're 100% right because of agricultural standards, they're 100% right because of universal safety standards, and they're 100% right because of how chemistry and biology works on a level that anyone who made it through high-school should understand.

Also they're 100% right because of basic farking common sense.  You're supposed to sanitize random surfaces that have been exposed to the virus potentially, why the fark would you base your disclosure policy on the assumption that it doesn't matter with cadavers?  JFC, man.

TL;DR: the hospital is in breach of contract here and if they want to pull this shiat they can buy their own graveyard and do their own grave-digging.  They're basically intentionally making the pandemic worse, which is not what a farking hospital's job is in this situation.
 
2020-07-30 4:24:46 AM  

evilsofa: Hills-Sachs_Legion: Skeleton Man: Trik: At least they haven't gotten up and started walking on their own... Yet!

Honestly, zombies would be so much easier to deal with than this shiat. Unlike the Moronic Maskless Masses, you can just shoot zombies.

I'm honestly kind of surprised nobody has decided to live out their zombie apocalypse murder fantasies yet.

They have. It's called the Boogaloo Movement.


Looking at "Boogaloo Movement" I thought they were an offshoot of the bug-out movement. Until I clicked your link.
 
2020-07-30 5:27:10 AM  
Remember, everyone cares about the essential works. Just not enough to supply them with PPE and hazard pay.
 
2020-07-30 5:28:38 AM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: "Let's get Mikey!"

"Yeah! He'll pick up anything! Plus, he's wearing a mask."


I was hoping someone would run with it.
+1
 
2020-07-30 5:51:41 AM  
So first thing you do is put a plastic bag over the deceased person's head and seal it up around the neck. Not like they're at risk of suffocating and it'll contain any germs potentially expelled from the mouth and nose.

=Smidge=
 
2020-07-30 6:47:23 AM  
Don't Covid bodies leave hospitals pre-wrapped?
 
2020-07-30 7:07:26 AM  
getwallpapers.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-30 7:22:03 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Requiring that hospitals disclose which bodies are plague bodies so you know what precautions to take is a pretty reasonable demand, and refusing to take any bodies from hospital that won't disclose that information is a very reasonable response to a refusal to disclose.


But what if they stack all the bodies regardless of reason of death together?  After all, it's not like a dead person can get covid.

On the plus side, necrophilia is losing popularity.
 
2020-07-30 8:06:27 AM  

MSBFDffpm: [Fark user image image 300x168]


My corpse is clean! Because it's Charmin clean!
 
2020-07-30 11:14:07 AM  

rcain: Time to outfit morticians with asbestos suits and flame throwers for cremation delivery, to char your love ones to COVID free ash at whatever home, office, hospital waiting room or other inconvenient location your lived one thoughtlessly dropped dead at


a new version of Snowcrash?

Hiro no longer delivers pizzas but mobile crematorium services
 
2020-07-30 11:16:00 AM  
I enjoyed this headline, subby.
 
2020-07-30 1:12:40 PM  
Well, wait 'til we hit summer.  The heat'll kill it, right?
 
2020-07-30 1:44:07 PM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
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