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(Slate)   "I turned 50 and suddenly every young woman at work is calling me daddy and hitting on me. How can I get it to stop?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Fake, 2007 singles, Like You, Because of You, COVID times, mentor people, 52-year-old heterosexual man, open marriage, good father  
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442 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 24 Jul 2020 at 8:35 AM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-07-24 6:48:14 AM  
There is an excellent Harry Chapin song called "Half Way to Heaven" that uses this theme.

Dude, you ain't the first one to be here. You know where the line is, don't go over it.
 
2020-07-24 6:54:17 AM  
End happily or wake up.
 
2020-07-24 7:07:13 AM  
Tell 'em you're gay. Easy peezy.
 
2020-07-24 7:13:27 AM  
Stop showering.
 
2020-07-24 7:15:09 AM  
Reality:  "Hi Becki can you hand me that stapler."

Becki:  "Here you go."

Thought Bubble: "She wants me."
 
2020-07-24 7:35:36 AM  
A few years ago a young 20 something was sort of flirting with me at a party.  MrsRT was off to the side observing & laughing her ass off as she knew that if I responded seriously it would go from flirting to 'ewww' faster than Trump races to a photo op...sigh

/or I suppose there was a 1% chance of it becoming a 'very' interesting night...probably less than 1%...sigh again
//fake letter but he's a safe target to mess with.  Long married, more less past the 'mid life crisis' age/life events, supervisory position so if he 'did' do something then HR could be brought in to bring down the hammer of doom, & seemingly somewhat easily flustered.  These are just past teenaged girls...they're still in the 'mess with anyone just to mess with them' phase of life
 
2020-07-24 7:53:41 AM  
Sleep with her. It'll wear off.
 
2020-07-24 7:54:11 AM  
Let her see you naked.
 
2020-07-24 7:59:41 AM  
Do you work at at an elder care home?
 
2020-07-24 8:17:29 AM  
Tell them you aren't into butt stuff.
 
2020-07-24 8:29:27 AM  
Drop hints that you're just barely managing to keep yourself housed, fed and clothed and that you might need a place to crash if things get any tighter.

If you're a middle aged man being approached by a younger person romantically, it would be wise to assume it's because they think you have (even a modest amount of) money.
 
2020-07-24 8:33:22 AM  
I think I've seen this movie...
 
2020-07-24 8:35:48 AM  
Most people just wake up from daydreams like this. Maybe you should see a doctor about these waking hallucinations.
 
2020-07-24 8:38:47 AM  
How do you get it to stop?  Waking up would work, because obviously you're dreaming, Mr. Fakey.

/offer possibly void under certain circumstances
//if you have a huge... wallet (what did you think I was going to say?) and make that obvious, gold diggers will home in
///if you look like Sean Connery at 50 - yeah ok.  Odds on that one... hah
 
2020-07-24 8:44:50 AM  

Another Government Employee: There is an excellent Harry Chapin song called "Half Way to Heaven" that uses this theme.

Dude, you ain't the first one to be here. You know where the line is, don't go over it.


Given it's a Harry Chapin song, the man probably rejects the advances of the younger woman only to go home and find his wife in bed with another man.
 
2020-07-24 8:46:17 AM  

Recoil Therapy: A few years ago a young 20 something was sort of flirting with me at a party.  MrsRT was off to the side observing & laughing her ass off as she knew that if I responded seriously it would go from flirting to 'ewww' faster than Trump races to a photo op...sigh

/or I suppose there was a 1% chance of it becoming a 'very' interesting night...probably less than 1%...sigh again
//fake letter but he's a safe target to mess with.  Long married, more less past the 'mid life crisis' age/life events, supervisory position so if he 'did' do something then HR could be brought in to bring down the hammer of doom, & seemingly somewhat easily flustered.  These are just past teenaged girls...they're still in the 'mess with anyone just to mess with them' phase of life


If you want to have a mid-life crisis, just buy a convertible like the rest of us.
 
2020-07-24 8:49:26 AM  
tldr. Sure is a lot of thought he's put into this fantasy
 
2020-07-24 8:50:21 AM  

Great_Milenko: Recoil Therapy: A few years ago a young 20 something was sort of flirting with me at a party.  MrsRT was off to the side observing & laughing her ass off as she knew that if I responded seriously it would go from flirting to 'ewww' faster than Trump races to a photo op...sigh

/or I suppose there was a 1% chance of it becoming a 'very' interesting night...probably less than 1%...sigh again
//fake letter but he's a safe target to mess with.  Long married, more less past the 'mid life crisis' age/life events, supervisory position so if he 'did' do something then HR could be brought in to bring down the hammer of doom, & seemingly somewhat easily flustered.  These are just past teenaged girls...they're still in the 'mess with anyone just to mess with them' phase of life

If you want to have a mid-life crisis, just buy a convertible like the rest of us.


Still not a wise choice, but better than buying a boat.
 
2020-07-24 8:58:45 AM  
I am a 52-year-old heterosexual man.
*RTFA*
No you aren't
 
2020-07-24 9:15:31 AM  
On the long list of things that never happened, this is the thing that never happened the most.
 
2020-07-24 9:46:53 AM  

italie: I think I've seen this movie...


Just clips from it, is all I've really seen.
 
2020-07-24 11:16:14 AM  

Sorelian's Ghost: Reality:  "Hi Becki can you hand me that stapler."

Becki:  "Here you go."

Thought Bubble: "She wants me."



Get out of my head
 
2020-07-24 11:26:30 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Call me "Chubby Romney." Or just "Daddy"...
 
2020-07-24 11:31:48 AM  
I turned 50 and I don't have young women hitting on me.  Course that's largely due to the fact that I'm ugly as f**k.
 
2020-07-24 11:58:08 AM  
I am also middle aged.  The opposite sex does not find me attractive.  They are just being polite.  If there is any flirting going on, Mrs. TDYak is there to remind me of how unattractive I truly am to the opposite sex, pointing out all my flaws in great detail as that MUST be what they find "hot" about me.

I *was* thinking of buying a boat for my midlife crisis, but then there's boat maintenance, the trailer is a pain in the butt (tires cost just as much as car tires), then there's insurance, you get to take it out twice, maybe three times a year.  It's just easier and cheaper to rent a boat.

An RV as a midlife crisis is also a huge pain in the ass with storage, cleaning it, insurance, you get to use it a couple times a year and you have to drive it.

I'm not sure what to do for m midlife crisis, still thinking about it.
 
Ant
2020-07-24 12:06:45 PM  

Great_Milenko: If you want to have a mid-life crisis, just buy a convertible like the rest of us.


OK, done. Now what?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-24 12:20:33 PM  
Just throw those damn AARP letters away.  They don't really think you're the bee's knees.
 
2020-07-24 12:48:28 PM  

tdyak: I am also middle aged.  The opposite sex does not find me attractive.  They are just being polite.  If there is any flirting going on, Mrs. TDYak is there to remind me of how unattractive I truly am to the opposite sex, pointing out all my flaws in great detail as that MUST be what they find "hot" about me.

I *was* thinking of buying a boat for my midlife crisis, but then there's boat maintenance, the trailer is a pain in the butt (tires cost just as much as car tires), then there's insurance, you get to take it out twice, maybe three times a year.  It's just easier and cheaper to rent a boat.

An RV as a midlife crisis is also a huge pain in the ass with storage, cleaning it, insurance, you get to use it a couple times a year and you have to drive it.

I'm not sure what to do for m midlife crisis, still thinking about it.


I was considering a Miata.
 
2020-07-24 1:05:37 PM  
Another Government Employee:
I was considering a Miata.

Miata
Is
Always
The
Answer
 
2020-07-24 1:21:19 PM  
According to Fark relationship experts, older people are either cunning predators or essentially a candy bowl on the doorstep on Halloween. No younger person wants anyone older for any other reason. Tricked or a trick.
 
2020-07-24 1:34:38 PM  
Look them in the eye, smile politely, and point out that if you were to use such unprofessional behaviour with them, your ass would be fired after some unpleasant meetings with HR and Legal. Apologize if you have misinterpreted their actions, but point out that in these situations that perception can be more important than intent and that it's best to err on the side of caution.
Then when you go home that evening, bang your wife like a screen door in a hurricane, just to bleed off any accumulated sexual tension you're experiencing.
 
2020-07-24 2:16:38 PM  
Tell them to stop sexually harassing you or you will report them to HR.
 
2020-07-24 2:22:22 PM  

BillyNoMates: Another Government Employee:
I was considering a Miata.

Miata
Is
Always
The
Answer


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-24 2:31:09 PM  
I am almost 50.  I find that a lot of younger attractive women talk to me, that wouldnt have 10-20 years ago.  You want to know why, my daughters are their age.  I am "safe", just a Dad.  Not "Oh DADDY", but just an old guy who they see as absolutely no threat to them.

Dont confuse the nice waitress being nice with hitting on you.  Dont be that guy.
 
2020-07-24 3:43:44 PM  
Dude, they are flirting because they want stuff and know they can lead you around by your dick. If they thought about you as a sexual being at all they wouldn't do that because they don't want to deal with you showing interest back, with all that implies. You are so goddamn old and decrepit to them they simply do not see you as a sexual creature at all so the flirting doesn't count as sexual interest. It's just a way to get you to do what they want, or for casual fun and perhaps practice for future use on guys they are actually interested in farking.
 
2020-07-24 6:04:05 PM  
ha6s.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

/ tell'm to get a mirror and a hearing checkup...
 
2020-07-24 7:23:08 PM  

tobcc: I am almost 50.  I find that a lot of younger attractive women talk to me, that wouldnt have 10-20 years ago.  You want to know why, my daughters are their age.  I am "safe", just a Dad.  Not "Oh DADDY", but just an old guy who they see as absolutely no threat to them.

Dont confuse the nice waitress being nice with hitting on you.  Dont be that guy.


This is the likeliest explanation
 
2020-07-24 8:15:56 PM  
Ain't no fool like an old fool.
 
2020-07-25 3:11:19 AM  

tdyak: I am also middle aged.  The opposite sex does not find me attractive.  They are just being polite.  If there is any flirting going on, Mrs. TDYak is there to remind me of how unattractive I truly am to the opposite sex, pointing out all my flaws in great detail as that MUST be what they find "hot" about me.

I *was* thinking of buying a boat for my midlife crisis, but then there's boat maintenance, the trailer is a pain in the butt (tires cost just as much as car tires), then there's insurance, you get to take it out twice, maybe three times a year.  It's just easier and cheaper to rent a boat.

An RV as a midlife crisis is also a huge pain in the ass with storage, cleaning it, insurance, you get to use it a couple times a year and you have to drive it.

I'm not sure what to do for m midlife crisis, still thinking about it.


See you already farked up, if it floats, or fly's or farks, you want to rent.
 
2020-07-25 11:59:25 AM  
Easy. Show them how bad you are in bed. Problem solved.
 
2020-07-25 7:24:15 PM  

tdyak: I am also middle aged.  The opposite sex does not find me attractive.  They are just being polite.  If there is any flirting going on, Mrs. TDYak is there to remind me of how unattractive I truly am to the opposite sex, pointing out all my flaws in great detail as that MUST be what they find "hot" about me.

I *was* thinking of buying a boat for my midlife crisis, but then there's boat maintenance, the trailer is a pain in the butt (tires cost just as much as car tires), then there's insurance, you get to take it out twice, maybe three times a year.  It's just easier and cheaper to rent a boat.

An RV as a midlife crisis is also a huge pain in the ass with storage, cleaning it, insurance, you get to use it a couple times a year and you have to drive it.

I'm not sure what to do for m midlife crisis, still thinking about it.


Learn to fly.  No capital costs, and you can do fun stuff like we did by hiring a Cessna in Hawaii and flying around the islands...
 
2020-07-25 7:39:06 PM  

Another Government Employee: tdyak: I am also middle aged.  The opposite sex does not find me attractive.  They are just being polite.  If there is any flirting going on, Mrs. TDYak is there to remind me of how unattractive I truly am to the opposite sex, pointing out all my flaws in great detail as that MUST be what they find "hot" about me.

I *was* thinking of buying a boat for my midlife crisis, but then there's boat maintenance, the trailer is a pain in the butt (tires cost just as much as car tires), then there's insurance, you get to take it out twice, maybe three times a year.  It's just easier and cheaper to rent a boat.

An RV as a midlife crisis is also a huge pain in the ass with storage, cleaning it, insurance, you get to use it a couple times a year and you have to drive it.

I'm not sure what to do for m midlife crisis, still thinking about it.

I was considering a Miata.


Oh just get one. I know soo many people who are like "Someday I'll get a Miata...." like it's some expensive exotic thing. Having priced them for the heck of it when I was looking at getting a new vehicle, they often get as cheap as the more boring used cars. It's not like you'll be spending $50,000 on one, so just go for it.
 
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