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(Daytona Beach News-Journal)   Try to pay a FL alley hooker $5 for sex? Yep, that's a beating & she'll take your $5   (news-journalonline.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Volusia County, Florida, Dallas Wass, Orlando, Florida, Jacob Leite, Volusia County sheriff's deputies, Police, Battery, DeLand, Florida  
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3603 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jul 2020 at 3:16 PM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-07-23 2:57:03 PM  
46 votes:

WoolyManwich: I'm just perplexed that her regular rate is $95. Why wouldn't you round it up to an even $100?


It's marketing. The $100 hooker means your entire $100 goes to the hooker. With a $95 hooker, you still have $5 left. That's a nice wad of cash to use at the Dollar Store on your way home, buy some nice post-sex celebratory items. The savvy hooker knows that you want to leave the John with a little but of walking around money or he starts to feel regretful afterward and might not book the second appointment.
 
2020-07-23 3:34:10 PM  
25 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-23 3:41:56 PM  
20 votes:
A desperate, sex-crazed man has a sudden urge to get his willy-whacked, so he goes downtown to pick up a hooker.
The man finally picks up a hooker and and is on his way to a safe spot away from the city to do his dirty business. When they arrive at their destination, he tells her, "I only have $5, that better be enough." The hooker agrees and they are on with their thing.
A week later, the man notices a deep itching sensation around his crotch area and realizes he has crabs. Enraged, the man drives back downtown and finds the hooker and yelled at her, "biatch! Your gave me crabs!"
And she said, "For $5 what did you expect? Lobster?"
 
2020-07-23 3:27:13 PM  
20 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


A month of TF or a 'ride'...decisions, decisions...
 
2020-07-23 2:40:33 PM  
20 votes:
I'm just perplexed that her regular rate is $95. Why wouldn't you round it up to an even $100?
 
2020-07-23 3:28:39 PM  
19 votes:

Shaggy_C: [Fark user image image 160x200]

A month of TF or a 'ride'...decisions, decisions...


Totalfark lasts a month, Herpes last forever.
 
2020-07-23 2:23:17 PM  
19 votes:
That may be the deepest throat, ever.
 
2020-07-23 3:52:21 PM  
18 votes:

Yellow Beard: tiny fist


That's extra
 
2020-07-23 3:25:18 PM  
18 votes:
I'd kick his ass, too.  That's not even the meth rate.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-23 3:30:23 PM  
15 votes:
Turns out he was into BDSM and got the better end of the deal.
 
2020-07-23 4:33:43 PM  
13 votes:

gameshowhost: Jesus, dude. Even the saddest hand job is worth a twenty spot.


i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-07-23 3:45:21 PM  
12 votes:
girl comes home after her first night of hooking.  Her roommate asks how it went.  The girl says "great!  I made $122!!!"
"What?!?" exclaimed the roommate, "which one paid you two bucks?"
The girl replied "all of them"
 
2020-07-23 4:23:32 PM  
10 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 600x800]
That's 30 years old, "single and ready to mingle," and offers "an experience...that you'll never forget."


Is that a MAD fold-in on her chest
 
2020-07-23 3:31:29 PM  
9 votes:

OliveJuiceJones: Is it me or is she very Hope Solo-y looking?


No she definitely has that look & now I definitely am not having roast beef for lunch.
 
2020-07-23 3:22:50 PM  
9 votes:

Atomic Jonb: So, did he have sex or not?


He did get farked. farked up.
 
2020-07-23 5:23:38 PM  
8 votes:

waxbeans: Liquid_Bacon: [Fark user image image 610x454]

/
Ever accidentally finish jerking off while looking for vids and realized you finished to the image of a shoulder blade or ceiling fan? Rage.


Meh. I went through puberty with stuff like this ...

Fark user imageView Full Size


... a shoulder blade or ceiling fan was probably the least weird of things I'd finished to.
 
2020-07-23 4:05:11 PM  
8 votes:
This lady is offering tremendous value for just $50 for "full service."

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-23 3:55:47 PM  
8 votes:
Today I learned there's a chick in Florida who will beat the shiat out of someone for $5. That seems like an incredible bargain. Can I give her my enemies list and a phat stack of cash? I need her on retainer.
 
2020-07-23 3:32:05 PM  
8 votes:

WoolyManwich: I'm just perplexed that her regular rate is $95. Why wouldn't you round it up to an even $100?


Do you even business, bro?

You could charge $100 per fark and give away the 21st fark for free, but loyalty cards are a hassle. People lose them, fake punches, want to combine cards - it's a mess.

It's much easier to announce a discount club and charge $95 each time. The reduction in administrative overhead more than makes up for the $5 loss per visit, and it always costs more to find new customers than it does to continually service loyal members.
 
2020-07-23 5:03:27 PM  
7 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-23 4:37:18 PM  
7 votes:

Spaceballer: [Fark user image 425x531]


She may be the first woman that can deep throat my cock and lick my balls at the same time.

For $95 I am willing to let her try.
 
2020-07-23 4:34:17 PM  
7 votes:
"What do I get for 5 dollars?"
'Everyting you want.'
'Everything?'
'Everyting. As long as what you want is you getting your ass kicked.'
 
2020-07-23 3:54:24 PM  
7 votes:
media1.tenor.comView Full Size

"$95?? Good LAWD that's a lot of money! What can I get for fi'dolla?"

/An ass-whupping, that's what
 
2020-07-23 3:51:12 PM  
7 votes:

johnny_vegas: girl comes home after her first night of hooking.  Her roommate asks how it went.  The girl says "great!  I made $122!!!"
"What?!?" exclaimed the roommate, "which one paid you two bucks?"
The girl replied "all of them"


tiny fist
 
2020-07-23 3:21:48 PM  
7 votes:
So, did he have sex or not?
 
2020-07-23 4:56:53 PM  
5 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-23 4:34:57 PM  
5 votes:

johnny_vegas: gameshowhost: Jesus, dude. Even the saddest hand job is worth a twenty spot.

[i.redd.it image 640x480]


Looks like he just gave the sandman a handy
 
2020-07-23 3:24:16 PM  
5 votes:

WoolyManwich: I'm just perplexed that her regular rate is $95. Why wouldn't you round it up to an even $100?


She's a huge Dolly Parton fan, but no one will pay her $925.
 
2020-07-23 3:23:42 PM  
5 votes:
You'd think it'd be a proud day when the city you live in hits Fark.   Unless you live in Florida.   Living 40 years in Massachusetts and then moving here, not to coastal Florida, but to Uncledad county, it's just a strange place and stories like this don't even shock me anymore.   You want to blame the heat, but, nope, it's the stupidity, definitely the stupidity.
 
2020-07-23 4:54:22 PM  
4 votes:
news-journalonline.comView Full Size


What someone who will beat your ass for calling her a five-dollar whore might look like.
 
2020-07-23 4:18:50 PM  
4 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: This lady is offering tremendous value for just $50 for "full service."

[Fark user image image 800x600]


you think she would power wash my deck?
 
2020-07-23 4:13:06 PM  
4 votes:
I'll spare y'all the ad for "IM JAMY,3 FOOT 11 INCH 26 YEARS HUNGRY MIDDGET GIRL." So if you're down for a literal "spinner," there you go. Take a trip to Daytona.

I'm not sure these ladies are social distancing or obeying proper masking rules, though.
 
2020-07-23 3:35:56 PM  
4 votes:
$5 was just the tip?
 
2020-07-23 8:46:27 PM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-23 6:48:47 PM  
3 votes:
The worst part is that the newspaper published the guy's name. Can you imagine the reception from his co-workers?
 
2020-07-23 6:47:20 PM  
3 votes:

WoolyManwich: I'm just perplexed that her regular rate is $95. Why wouldn't you round it up to an even $100?


Gotta edge out the competition.
 
2020-07-23 5:41:40 PM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Skeptical hooker is skeptical.
 
2020-07-23 5:41:01 PM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-23 4:57:34 PM  
3 votes:
$5 and it was no where near a footlong.
 
2020-07-23 4:25:39 PM  
3 votes:

Nobody in Peculiar: waxbeans: This should be legal.

Beating people and stealing their money?


Yes.
 
2020-07-23 4:09:08 PM  
3 votes:

Cardinal Ximenez: You should feel bad for subjecting all of us to that too.  How can meth age someone that much, or is it a lie?  Either way, I'm just not having lunch now after all.


It's Dr. PCoC's patented Escort Website Weight Loss Plan! Try this one weird trick to skip meals!
 
2020-07-23 3:50:33 PM  
3 votes:
Subby's mom was forced to turn tricks because of money woes. She was out all day and most of the night. Subby's father asked her how much she made? She replied, $5.10. Subby father snarled, who's the cheap bastard that only gave you a dime? Subby's mom told him everybody.
 
2020-07-23 3:26:55 PM  
3 votes:
Is it me or is she very Hope Solo-y looking?
 
2020-07-23 7:32:26 PM  
2 votes:

WoolyManwich: gameshowhost: Jesus, dude. Even the saddest hand job is worth a twenty spot.

I used to live in NE Philly. They had something called a "Torresdale Tenner" which were prostitutes along Torresdale Ave that offered $10 BJs.


I'll take a sad handjob over a frightening beej any day of the week. 😬
 
2020-07-23 7:22:32 PM  
2 votes:

WoolyManwich: I'm just perplexed that her regular rate is $95. Why wouldn't you round it up to an even $100?


Marketing.
 
2020-07-23 6:06:39 PM  
2 votes:
A $5.00 foot long ain't a foot long.......so $5.00 for a beating, he got off (pun intended) easy!!!!!
 
2020-07-23 5:01:44 PM  
2 votes:

WoolyManwich: gameshowhost: Jesus, dude. Even the saddest hand job is worth a twenty spot.

I used to live in NE Philly. They had something called a "Torresdale Tenner" which were prostitutes along Torresdale Ave that offered $10 BJs.


🖐
 
2020-07-23 4:49:30 PM  
2 votes:

johnny_vegas: gameshowhost: Jesus, dude. Even the saddest hand job is worth a twenty spot.

[i.redd.it image 640x480]


... i should've anticipated that...
 
2020-07-23 3:47:56 PM  
2 votes:
Best $5 you ever spent
 
2020-07-23 3:42:08 PM  
2 votes:
$5?
Hell, the going rate on Full Metal Jacket was $15, and she would love you for a long time.
 
2020-07-23 3:41:15 PM  
2 votes:

OliveJuiceJones: Is it me or is she very Hope Solo-y looking?


Not sure. Would need to see her one brown eye for comparison.
 
2020-07-23 3:26:44 PM  
2 votes:

mongbiohazard: I can't imagine wanting to accept any sexual act from someone who WOULD accept $5 for it.


That's what rubbers are for.
🙄
 
2020-07-23 3:24:17 PM  
2 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-23 3:21:37 PM  
2 votes:
Back in my day, we'd tie an onion to your belt...
 
2020-07-24 12:26:11 AM  
1 vote:

Danger Avoid Death: waxbeans: Liquid_Bacon: [Fark user image image 610x454]

/
Ever accidentally finish jerking off while looking for vids and realized you finished to the image of a shoulder blade or ceiling fan? Rage.

Meh. I went through puberty with stuff like this ...

[Fark user image 714x464] [View Full Size image _x_]

... a shoulder blade or ceiling fan was probably the least weird of things I'd finished to.


Nearly every cable tech guy carried descrambling traps that they'd have gladly parted with for $10-$15, and you could have seen it all in 240p glory.

/i thought everyone knew that ( ._.) anyhow no i don't have one on me
 
2020-07-23 7:07:54 PM  
1 vote:

Buckerlin: The worst part is that the newspaper published the guy's name. Can you imagine the reception from his co-workers?


"Dammit dude, I'd have done it for $10 and you wouldn't be in this mess. A mouth's a mouth, buddy!"
 
2020-07-23 5:13:37 PM  
1 vote:
A fine piece of Wass.
 
2020-07-23 5:00:26 PM  
1 vote:

gameshowhost: Jesus, dude. Even the saddest hand job is worth a twenty spot.


I used to live in NE Philly. They had something called a "Torresdale Tenner" which were prostitutes along Torresdale Ave that offered $10 BJs.
 
2020-07-23 4:50:31 PM  
1 vote:

waxbeans: gameshowhost: Jesus, dude. Even the saddest hand job is worth a twenty spot.

The hell it is


jeez, don't be a cheapskate :(
 
2020-07-23 4:15:27 PM  
1 vote:
What was it the Farker said last week about not wanting to eat a 10¢ chicken nugget?
 
2020-07-23 4:04:38 PM  
1 vote:

waxbeans: This should be legal.


Beating people and stealing their money?
 
2020-07-23 3:41:50 PM  
1 vote:
Judging by linkedin, her career has taken a major turn in the last 2 years.
Pretty sure the guy arrested was arrested 5 years ago in Delaware for heroin possession.
Star-crossed lovers I guess.
 
2020-07-23 3:33:02 PM  
1 vote:

waxbeans: mongbiohazard: I can't imagine wanting to accept any sexual act from someone who WOULD accept $5 for it.

That's what rubbers are for.
🙄


Rubbers aren't going to make my dick not shrivel in horror because I know I am literally - not figuratively - about to get with a $5 whore.
 
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