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(ABC News)   Let's see, it's Thou Shalt not Something, um, wear a mask? Um covet thine neighbor's wife's ass? What's that? Kill?   (abcnews.go.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Fairfax County, Virginia, Injuries, alleged member of the congregation, Grace Covenant Church, Saturday afternoon, Member of Parliament, member of the church, church members  
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6199 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2020 at 8:05 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



62 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-07-19 6:37:03 PM  
"It won't kill you to go!"

"Yes, it will, Mom!"
 
2020-07-19 8:09:18 PM  
I stabbed the pastor, but I did not stab the deputy?
 
2020-07-19 8:10:53 PM  
🦆😇
 
2020-07-19 8:12:33 PM  
Those crazy religious people.

Seriously, they're crazy.
 
2020-07-19 8:13:03 PM  
Those Sprinkling vs. Dunking  debates can get heated.
 
2020-07-19 8:13:06 PM  
Washington DCs NFL franchise lol
 
2020-07-19 8:14:03 PM  
Any chance it was just a localized stigmata outbreak?
 
2020-07-19 8:14:41 PM  
He's got a healthy start on violating all the commandments at once, which is really a logistical conundrum.
 
2020-07-19 8:14:43 PM  
Something about graven images (idols) was in there too...
 
2020-07-19 8:15:51 PM  
Multiple people were injured during a Bible study session on Saturday afternoon when an alleged member of the congregation stabbed the church's pastor before being stopped by the area's police chief.

Just as god intended.

PRAISE HIM!
 
2020-07-19 8:17:10 PM  

Bslim: Multiple people were injured during a Bible study session on Saturday afternoon when an alleged member of the congregation stabbed the church's pastor before being stopped by the area's police chief.

Just as god intended.

PRAISE HIM!


The police chief?
 
2020-07-19 8:17:11 PM  
Thou shall not kill, Unless they're Muslims, Non white, gay, liberal.
 
2020-07-19 8:19:26 PM  
So, when do we discover that the pastor was attacked because he was either a kiddie-diddler or a wife-groper? Isn't that the usual progression, these days?
 
2020-07-19 8:22:06 PM  

pacified: Washington DCs NFL franchise lol


To be fair, at this exact moment their NFL team doesn't really have a name

Personally, I'm pulling for Washington Wankers, but nobody seems to give a toss
 
2020-07-19 8:22:20 PM  

jmr61: Those crazy religious people.

Seriously, they're crazy.


Oh please, the perpetrator was obviously an atheist sleeper agent.
 
2020-07-19 8:24:23 PM  
I'm about 50/50 on this being a child abuse victim's attempted revenge. (Or someone related to the victim, etc.)
 
2020-07-19 8:24:29 PM  

Call the Guy: pacified: Washington DCs NFL franchise lol

To be fair, at this exact moment their NFL team doesn't really have a name

Personally, I'm pulling for Washington Wankers, but nobody seems to give a toss


I think Washington Tossers works...
 
2020-07-19 8:25:20 PM  

FormlessOne: So, when do we discover that the pastor was attacked because he was either a kiddie-diddler or a wife-groper? Isn't that the usual progression, these days?


came here to say that the pastor was putting more than the love of jesus in someone.
 
2020-07-19 8:28:36 PM  
It's a shame Frank Drebin was on vacation this week.

Fark user imageView Full Size


Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of a church in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that's my policy.
 
2020-07-19 8:32:01 PM  

foxyshadis: I'm about 50/50 on this being a child abuse victim's attempted revenge. (Or someone related to the victim, etc.)


Eh, more likely to be the cheated on husband.
 
2020-07-19 8:32:59 PM  
I'm guessing the pastor was boinking the attacker's wife in private "bible study sessions".
 
2020-07-19 8:34:18 PM  
Bible study is some religious extremist, taliban-style shiat.

WTF Murica?
 
2020-07-19 8:35:30 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: He's got a healthy start on violating all the commandments at once, which is really a logistical conundrum.


Orgies are not that hard. Well, they can be, but logistically, it is very easy to do all 10 in 3 hours, 1 hour if you are in a rush.

/step 1:be hot
//step 2: don't not be hot
 
2020-07-19 8:39:07 PM  
Jesus people, social distancing calls for RANGED weaponry, not melee.
 
2020-07-19 8:39:17 PM  

Pinnacle Point: Any chance it was just a localized stigmata outbreak?


Sounds more Spear of Destiny action to me.
 
2020-07-19 8:42:14 PM  

FormlessOne: I stabbed the pastor, but I did not stab the deputy?


I stabbed the pastor, but I did not stab the decon .
 
2020-07-19 8:42:25 PM  
He will save us!

news.artnet.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-19 8:42:32 PM  
Stabbed right in the virginia
 
2020-07-19 8:42:58 PM  
Oh wait it said "not".... kill how embarrassing
 
2020-07-19 8:43:29 PM  
Just a part of God's glorious plan. He works in mysterious ways.
 
2020-07-19 8:49:04 PM  

FormlessOne: So, when do we discover that the pastor was attacked because he was either a kiddie-diddler or a wife-groper? Isn't that the usual progression, these days?


media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-19 8:49:07 PM  
I found the dancing Paula Abdul footage to be very theme appropriate.
 
2020-07-19 8:51:13 PM  
If you prick me, do I not bleed?
Oh wait that's Shakespeare
 
2020-07-19 8:52:28 PM  
My favorite part about FARK is the deep abiding respect for the First Amendment as well as the respect shown to people with differing beliefs. FARK is a bastion of inclusion and a beacon for justice based community.
 
2020-07-19 8:52:59 PM  
popmn.orgView Full Size
 
2020-07-19 8:56:18 PM  
We can only blame this on Christianity if the "member of the congregation" was attending for some significant time and didn't just join that day just so he could go after the pastor. Needs more evidence.

Christianity is, in general, worthy of mocking, but this new story isn't a good excuse.
 
2020-07-19 9:00:21 PM  

Bruscar: My favorite part about FARK is the deep abiding respect for the First Amendment as well as the respect shown to people with differing beliefs. FARK is a bastion of inclusion and a beacon for justice based community.


I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made that assumption. Maybe they used a polearm or something similar to retain their 6 foot clearance.
 
2020-07-19 9:08:20 PM  
 
2020-07-19 9:15:52 PM  
No pictures of the neighbor's ass?
 
2020-07-19 9:20:00 PM  
Subby, if you'd ever seen my neighbor's wife's ass, you would know that there's no coveting going on.  At all. Ever.   By anyone.
 
2020-07-19 9:24:53 PM  
Stabbed a bunch of people, including a cop, and was taken alive? In Virginia?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-19 9:27:22 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-19 9:29:29 PM  
I gave up trying to figure out people & why they do shat......
 
2020-07-19 9:34:14 PM  

DippityDoo: If you prick me, do I not bleed?
Oh wait that's Shakespeare


startreklibrary.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-19 9:35:21 PM  
The Lord stabs in mysterious ways.
 
2020-07-19 9:37:09 PM  

Bruscar: My favorite part about FARK is the deep abiding respect for the First Amendment as well as the respect shown to people with differing beliefs. FARK is a bastion of inclusion and a beacon for justice based community.


Is FARK impeding the free exercise of the First Amendment in any way you can articulate?
 
2020-07-19 9:39:35 PM  
Strictly speaking the more accurate translation is "you shall not murder", a more specific word for killing someone outside of the auspices of the law and in a socially unapproved manner.

The bible's actually pretty pro-killing in the more general sense, Exodus 22, which is to say basically two paragraphs down from one of the two passages listing the commandments in the same book, has three and arguably four offenses listed that actually require you to kill people.

Like... maybe the church had constructed their altar from hewn stones instead of natural rocks, or they had sassed a tourist?  That would make stabby guy 100% validated and morally justified under the commandments... in fact by just knifing them he'd be under-doing it.  And I'm not even doing the loose interpretation or cherry-picking thing here, I'm sticking only with that exact set of commandments in the same book the ten come from.  I mean strictly speaking he's supposed to use a sword, not a knife, but times are tough all around.
 
2020-07-19 9:53:17 PM  
That pastor is a real holey man now.

/Leaves on own
 
2020-07-19 9:59:37 PM  
The commandment says don't murder. Murder's bad, mkay? Killing, well, that's clearly different.
 
2020-07-19 10:07:53 PM  
Thread hijack: good thing he didn't have a gun or it would have been multiple killed instead of injured.
 
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