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(BBC-US)   "What the sh*t, Archer?"   (bbc.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Caribbean, England cricket team, Test cricket, Cricket, United Kingdom, England, England national football team, England's matches  
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1007 clicks; posted to Sports » on 16 Jul 2020 at 2:32 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-07-16 1:21:57 PM  
Archer was excluded from the second Test against West Indies after breaching the bio-secure protocols

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2020-07-16 2:38:14 PM  

bdub77: Archer was excluded from the second Test against West Indies after breaching the bio-secure protocols

[media.tenor.com image 500x280]


Hey, PHRASING!!!
 
2020-07-16 3:47:19 PM  
If anyone besides me cares, Day 1 of the second test ended with England, who lost the toss and were invited to bat, completing 83 overs at 207 for 3. Rainy conditions delayed the start (again, as it had for the first test).

Ha, ha, no one besides me cares.
 
2020-07-16 4:14:44 PM  

aaronx: If anyone besides me cares, Day 1 of the second test ended with England, who lost the toss and were invited to bat, completing 83 overs at 207 for 3. Rainy conditions delayed the start (again, as it had for the first test).

Ha, ha, no one besides me cares.


I might care if you used English instead of whatever that was.
 
2020-07-16 4:56:10 PM  

brizzle365: Hooker with a Penis: aaronx: If anyone besides me cares, Day 1 of the second test ended with England, who lost the toss and were invited to bat, completing 83 overs at 207 for 3. Rainy conditions delayed the start (again, as it had for the first test).

Ha, ha, no one besides me cares.

I might care if you used English instead of whatever that was.

I was hoping there was a fark translator. I know the words used are english, ive seen them elsewhere, but in that configuration, its just gibberish.


I'll tell you what it is...Insubordinate...and Churlish!
 
2020-07-16 4:56:33 PM  

Hooker with a Penis: aaronx: If anyone besides me cares, Day 1 of the second test ended with England, who lost the toss and were invited to bat, completing 83 overs at 207 for 3. Rainy conditions delayed the start (again, as it had for the first test).

Ha, ha, no one besides me cares.

I might care if you used English instead of whatever that was.


It probably won't work, but here's an attempt:

The day, the first of as many as five in a proper test match, started out wet and the coin toss, and, hence, the beginning of play, was delayed. This happened on the first day of the first test too.

Once things dried out, the West Indies won the coin toss and elected to bowl, which left England batting. (Every inning, of which test matches have two, includes each team batting and bowling once, either until 10 wickets (outs) are made or until the batting team 'declares' and quits batting. Since the game will end after five days no matter what, sometimes the batting team just stops batting in an effort to get to the end of two innings before time runs out. If two innings aren't completed in the allotted time, a draw is declared and no one wins.)

Since the condition of the field will change over the course of the match, deciding to bat or bowl first is a big part of the strategy. The West Indies think the batting conditions will get better later, so they made the Lions (England) bat first. They might be wrong, but that's what they think.

Over the course of the day, 83 overs were completed, and each over was made up of six 'good' deliveries from a bowler. (If they bowled wide of the batter or otherwise broke the bowling rules, that delivery didn't count towards the six, but might have resulted in runs being added to the batting team's total.) At the end of each over, a different bowler started their over from the opposite direction (to the other batter waiting at the other end of the wicket). A dry day usually has time for 100 to 120 overs.

The English batters scored 207 runs over the course of those 83 overs. Each run was earned by either having the two batters swap ends of the wicket (running back and forth) while the ball was in play after being batted, or was earned without any unnecessary exertion by hitting the ball to the field boundary, four runs being added if the ball hit the ground before leaving the field and six runs being added if the ball flew over the boundary without hitting the ground. Some of the runs were added to the score by the umpires to penalize the West Indies for 'bad' deliveries. (I think England only scored one six today, but I missed half the day.)

The West Indies earned three wickets (outs) today; they need seven more to send the English batters back to the dressing room to get their bowling kit and take the field. The first wicket was earned by an "LBW" - a violation of the "leg before wicket" rule. That's when the batter misses the ball with his bat, but blocks it from hitting the wicket (and knocking the bails off the stumps, the three sticks behind the batter) with his leg. The umpire ruled that the ball he blocked would have knocked the bails off had he not blocked it, so he was out [Sad trombone]. The other two outs were earned by fielders catching batted balls before they hit the ground. No one was thrown out, saving me some typing.

Clear?
 
2020-07-16 5:08:06 PM  

aaronx: Hooker with a Penis: aaronx: If anyone besides me cares, Day 1 of the second test ended with England, who lost the toss and were invited to bat, completing 83 overs at 207 for 3. Rainy conditions delayed the start (again, as it had for the first test).

Ha, ha, no one besides me cares.

I might care if you used English instead of whatever that was.

It probably won't work, but here's an attempt:

The day, the first of as many as five in a proper test match, started out wet and the coin toss, and, hence, the beginning of play, was delayed. This happened on the first day of the first test too.

Once things dried out, the West Indies won the coin toss and elected to bowl, which left England batting. (Every inning, of which test matches have two, includes each team batting and bowling once, either until 10 wickets (outs) are made or until the batting team 'declares' and quits batting. Since the game will end after five days no matter what, sometimes the batting team just stops batting in an effort to get to the end of two innings before time runs out. If two innings aren't completed in the allotted time, a draw is declared and no one wins.)

Since the condition of the field will change over the course of the match, deciding to bat or bowl first is a big part of the strategy. The West Indies think the batting conditions will get better later, so they made the Lions (England) bat first. They might be wrong, but that's what they think.

Over the course of the day, 83 overs were completed, and each over was made up of six 'good' deliveries from a bowler. (If they bowled wide of the batter or otherwise broke the bowling rules, that delivery didn't count towards the six, but might have resulted in runs being added to the batting team's total.) At the end of each over, a different bowler started their over from the opposite direction (to the other batter waiting at the other end of the wicket). A dry day usually has time for 100 to 120 overs.

The English batters scored 207 ru ...


TLDR
 
2020-07-16 5:30:55 PM  

Hooker with a Penis: TLDR


Fair enough. You can fit in an entire baseball game in the time between the Tea Break and Stumps, and people complain that baseball takes too long. Imagine watching five days of cricket to get to the end of a match (and it is entire days of play). And at at the end of the fifth day, there might be no winner. Golf only goes for four days, and they have a playoff if there's a tie.

I really enjoy it, though. Even the games that end in a draw.
 
2020-07-16 5:36:05 PM  

aaronx: Hooker with a Penis: TLDR

Fair enough. You can fit in an entire baseball game in the time between the Tea Break and Stumps, and people complain that baseball takes too long. Imagine watching five days of cricket to get to the end of a match (and it is entire days of play). And at at the end of the fifth day, there might be no winner. Golf only goes for four days, and they have a playoff if there's a tie.

I really enjoy it, though. Even the games that end in a draw.


Im just screwing with you, thanks for the attempted explanation. cricket could be interesting to watch with someone who knew what is going on.
 
2020-07-16 6:19:41 PM  
Archer, who made his England debut last summer, said: "I have put not only myself but the whole team and management in danger. I fully accept the consequences of my actions and I want to apologise to everyone in the bio-secure bubble.

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2020-07-16 9:51:36 PM  

aaronx: If anyone besides me cares, Day 1 of the second test ended with England, who lost the toss and were invited to bat, completing 83 overs at 207 for 3. Rainy conditions delayed the start (again, as it had for the first test).

Ha, ha, no one besides me cares.


On the contrary, I'm gutted that England appear to be leading after the series started so well...

/I'm a traditionalist. If the England Test team getting its arse kicked was good enough for 1877, it's good enough for today
 
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