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(Local10 WPLG)   Jesus Christ, what happened to his head?   (local10.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Bishop, Deacon Edivaldo da Saliva, Christianity, statue of Jesus Christ, Miami-Dade County, Florida, South Florida church, Florida, Miami  
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5838 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2020 at 3:14 PM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



49 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-07-16 12:23:01 PM  
According to ancient mythology, if enough people pray real hard, he can regenerate one after three days, but you have do do the rituals of burning incense, and subjugation women, and taking all their So are change to pay off pederasty suits.
 
2020-07-16 12:42:49 PM  

vudukungfu: According to ancient mythology, if enough people pray real hard, he can regenerate one after three days, but you have do do the rituals of burning incense, and subjugation women, and taking all their So are change to pay off pederasty suits.


It also works if you just say the statue regenerated its head and then ascended into heaven, write a bunch of fun stories describing the miracle, and then 100 years later destroy all records that say otherwise.
 
2020-07-16 1:06:23 PM  
snopes.comView Full Size

wut?
 
2020-07-16 3:16:44 PM  
He saw all the evangelicals worshiping Trump and doing evil in his name and his head exploded.
 
2020-07-16 3:17:23 PM  
Ehh, just wait a few days.
 
2020-07-16 3:17:26 PM  
2099

No, the was wasn't about statues.
 
2020-07-16 3:17:26 PM  

some_beer_drinker: [snopes.com image 400x400]
wut?


I was expecting more like:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 3:17:39 PM  
Sorry.  I thought it was made of chocolate.
 
2020-07-16 3:17:40 PM  

waxbeans: 2099

No, the was wasn't about statues.


War*
 
2020-07-16 3:18:17 PM  
False flag.  They want to believe that the Black Lives Matter crowd is anti-Jesus, but are ignoring the fact that Black people are better Christians that White Christians.
 
2020-07-16 3:18:31 PM  
Somebody mistook it for Baal.
 
2020-07-16 3:18:48 PM  
(Expects Spaceballs reference)
"It's on backwards!"
(Reads article)
"Why didn't someone tell him his ass was so big?"
 
2020-07-16 3:19:58 PM  
At this time destroying statues in more of a sport than protest.
 
2020-07-16 3:20:15 PM  
Uh oh now you done it

Better start building a ark now.
 
2020-07-16 3:20:35 PM  
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


"Look how they massacred my boy. Again."
 
2020-07-16 3:20:46 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 3:22:45 PM  

Glorious Golden Ass: False flag.  They want to believe that the Black Lives Matter crowd is anti-Jesus, but are ignoring the fact that Black people are better Christians that White Christians.


If true, it would make zero sense for BLM to be anti-Jesus. Jesus was a protester himself and he would be an inspiration today
 
2020-07-16 3:23:20 PM  
Must be because of all the slaves he has.......oh wait, I'm thinking of sheep!
 
2020-07-16 3:23:47 PM  
What's wrong with his head? Let's ask Ben Carson Jesus!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 3:28:12 PM  
Simpsons did it!
 
2020-07-16 3:29:37 PM  
Well yeah, as much as the poor bastard has had to do this, damage is inevitable

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 3:30:01 PM  
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery - Head Puns
Youtube 3wafhDIMU6w
 
2020-07-16 3:30:47 PM  
I used to live in West Kendall.  90% possibility of it just being bored kids.
 
2020-07-16 3:31:53 PM  
He got a long look at what his followers have been up to in his name, and it asploded.
 
2020-07-16 3:33:22 PM  
This is the Roman Catholic Church which loves Jesus so much that they put a little model of him being tortured to death in every classroom they run?
 
2020-07-16 3:36:22 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [upload.wikimedia.org image 700x544]

"Look how they massacred my boy. Again."


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 3:43:40 PM  
Personally, I believe Jesus was a schizophrenic alien who lost his mind way before he was crucified. The statue of him with a missing head is a better metaphor for his existence. Beautiful. Artistic. Broken. Satisfying.
 
2020-07-16 3:44:06 PM  
Maybe the priest rectum.
 
2020-07-16 3:45:04 PM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 3:47:09 PM  

BlackChickWhiteAccent: What's wrong with his head? Let's ask Ben Carson Jesus!

[Fark user image 425x541]


Jesus was a Klingon?
 
2020-07-16 3:48:13 PM  
Farking Romans...
 
2020-07-16 3:48:35 PM  
"It's on backwards!"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 4:05:32 PM  
Decapitation is more humane than crucifixion. Just sayin'.
 
2020-07-16 4:08:15 PM  
I've got 20monetary units for the GoFundMe if they use one of the specialists in religious art restoration found in the Farkives.

Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 4:11:28 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Nice Head, Brah
 
2020-07-16 4:17:00 PM  
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size

Hmm it's a devil of a mystery I tell ya.
 
2020-07-16 4:17:13 PM  
Donald Trump said in his latest press conference that since his "LAW & ORDER" order to protect statues that none have been damaged.  This must be a FAKE NEWS story.
 
2020-07-16 4:21:21 PM  

maxandgrinch: I've got 20monetary units for the GoFundMe if they use one of the specialists in religious art restoration found in the Farkives.

[Fark user image image 650x341]

[Fark user image image 640x360]


STONKS?
 
2020-07-16 4:55:08 PM  
There can be only one.
 
2020-07-16 4:58:20 PM  
Let me say this, as an atheist.

He does not deserve this treatment.

He has suffered enough, not only at the hands of the Romans, but also the Catholics and Protestants and Orthodox and various others of that ilk. Go behead some Trumpers, dammit! Leave the poor boy alone!
 
2020-07-16 4:59:37 PM  

rcain: [Fark user image 550x368]

WHY GOD, WHY?!?!?!?!


You have to behead Easter Bunnies so they don't suffer while you eat them.

That's just common child lore and sense. It's evil to eat them from the feet up.
 
2020-07-16 5:25:25 PM  
Christ, what a brasshole.

/ik, statues are bronze
//except in FL where they revere fiberglass idols
 
2020-07-16 5:44:19 PM  

geggy: Glorious Golden Ass: False flag.  They want to believe that the Black Lives Matter crowd is anti-Jesus, but are ignoring the fact that Black people are better Christians that White Christians.

If true, it would make zero sense for BLM to be anti-Jesus. Jesus was a protester himself and he would be an inspiration today


Just to be clear so I don't get Farkied incorrectly, a lot of the BLM protests around Detroit led by Black people I know personally to be ardent believers in Christ and pray for his protection for them and their fellow protesters.
 
2020-07-16 6:29:42 PM  
Any chance it just fell over?  There seems to be no other evidence of vandalism.
 
2020-07-16 6:49:55 PM  

Langdon_777: Any chance it just fell over?  There seems to be no other evidence of vandalism.


No no no! It's a conspiracy by the Rothschilds and Soros through the Deep State to promote Black Lives Matter and child sex rings in pizza restaurant basements while destroying the sanctity of marriage and turning this into a communist nation that burns Christians alive for saying they believe in God and Donald Trump. The beheaded Christ was a secret message from paid Antifa rioters and the LGBTQ+ community (who have stolen the rainbow from Jesus!) DO YOUR RESEARCH AND STUDY IT OUT SHEEPLE!
 
2020-07-16 7:27:14 PM  
I am still waiting on a Time Lord...

/got nothing.
 
2020-07-16 9:48:33 PM  

AstroJesus: There can be only one.


It wasn't that damn Kurgan...He respects sacred ground...
 
2020-07-16 10:26:20 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 10:32:46 PM  
It was done by somebody who actually read the bible.


Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness [of any thing] that [is] in heaven above, or that [is] in the earth beneath, or that [is] in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them

God specifically said don't make a statue and worship it.
 
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