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(Daily Star)   Please put some clothes on before you answer the door. This is real life, is not a 1970s sex comedy (possible nsfw content on page)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
    More: Repeat, Secretary, Kenya, Detective Superintendent Jason Kennedy, Nairobi, Superintendent, Stewart Copeland, The Police, The Territory  
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3943 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2020 at 1:19 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-07-16 9:16:36 AM  
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I bet I could use this endlessly on here.  lol
 
2020-07-16 10:20:36 AM  
If I only got some warning when god botherers were going to ring my doorbell I would answer naked with a boner every time.


"Honey quick! Give me a quick rub! They're at the door again!"
 
2020-07-16 12:08:45 PM  
Hey, you come to my door, unannounced and uninvited, you get me at that moment. Polite people call first.
 
2020-07-16 12:28:29 PM  
"This is real life, is not a 1970s sex comedy"

You know what? Fark you. This year has been some sort of wierd-ass disaster movie/black comedy/political farce/dadaist hell crossover, and I'm pretty sure adding "sex comedy" to the mashup could only improve things.
 
2020-07-16 1:21:10 PM  
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2020-07-16 1:21:27 PM  
Dupe from yesterday? (Glad I had this handy)

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2020-07-16 1:22:05 PM  
My house.  My dress code.
 
2020-07-16 1:22:20 PM  
Sounds like somebody never saw Logjammin.
 
2020-07-16 1:24:16 PM  

hubiestubert: Hey, you come to my door, unannounced and uninvited, you get me at that moment. Polite people call first.


That's exactly what I came in here to say.
 
2020-07-16 1:24:33 PM  
Let me guess, at the naked party in Kenya they singled out the Black folks to be arrested?
 
2020-07-16 1:24:34 PM  
I post a picture of Barrack Obama being chill on facebook every few days.  Any of my Boomer relatives who don't respond with something horrible...well I know something happened to them and the police need to go check up on them.
 
2020-07-16 1:25:38 PM  
and pretty yourself up a bit
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2020-07-16 1:25:46 PM  
The Fast Show - Arthur Atkinson Complete Part 9
Youtube JicjC2GXKzE
 
2020-07-16 1:26:57 PM  
Note: request does not apply to person in TFA picture
 
2020-07-16 1:27:10 PM  
It's ok. My sagging tits and shark bite scar hide the truly horrific parts.
 
2020-07-16 1:27:50 PM  
Subby, you walk past my "no soliciting" sign and ring my doorbell anyway - giving my dog an aneurysm - then you get what you get motherfarker.
 
2020-07-16 1:28:21 PM  
No stinkin way I'm gonna wear pants all day long just in case someone might knock on my door.
 
2020-07-16 1:30:12 PM  
Imhereforthegangbang.jpg
 
2020-07-16 1:31:10 PM  
Mathew Jonson - Put Your Booty Shorts On
Youtube O9eNHsRPb-I
 
2020-07-16 1:31:38 PM  
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2020-07-16 1:32:24 PM  

SpectroBoy: If I only got some warning when god botherers were going to ring my doorbell I would answer naked with a boner every time.


"Honey quick! Give me a quick rub! They're at the door again!"


The Festival of Life
Youtube qcKye-5iMCk


Totally appropes (and inappropes) Kevin Bloody Wilson song on that exact subject...
 
2020-07-16 1:34:35 PM  

SpectroBoy: If I only got some warning when god botherers were going to ring my doorbell I would answer naked with a boner every time.


"Honey quick! Give me a quick rub! They're at the door again!"


When I was young I was in just the right mood once when a dude from the Jehova's Witnesses knocked on my door. They used to come by about every 2-3 weeks (really farking annoying, I assume because they had a temple nearby), but this time I had a couple hours to kill before I had to meet my friends and I was just in the right headspace, so I was like, "You know what? Fark it. We're doing this."

I debated and discussed religion and existentialism with him for around 3 hours. Two weeks later he came back around the same time, and told me he just wanted to let me know I'd given him so much to think about that he hadn't considered before that he was convinced there was no god, and he had already left his church. He thanked me for opening his eyes, and we shook hands, I bid him good luck on his new non-spiritual journey, and that was that.

Those motherfarkers never sent another missionary to my house ever again.
 
2020-07-16 1:35:17 PM  
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2020-07-16 1:36:13 PM  
I'll say. Pizza delivery guys are such prudes anymore. I pay $20 for some shiatty Domino's, and not only is it hardly ever some beefcake stud in tight shorts who delivers it, when I try to engage in a little banter it's all "if you wanted extra sausage there's a request field on the app" and "sir, gratuities are appreciated but I'm uncomfortable with this talk of giving me 'just the tip.'"
 
2020-07-16 1:36:55 PM  
Wouldn't real life be a lot more fun if it were a 1970's sex comedy?
 
2020-07-16 1:41:38 PM  

semiotix: I'll say. Pizza delivery guys are such prudes anymore. I pay $20 for some shiatty Domino's, and not only is it hardly ever some beefcake stud in tight shorts who delivers it, when I try to engage in a little banter it's all "if you wanted extra sausage there's a request field on the app" and "sir, gratuities are appreciated but I'm uncomfortable with this talk of giving me 'just the tip.'"


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2020-07-16 1:44:08 PM  

AAAAGGGGHHHH: Wouldn't real life be a lot more fun if it were a 1970's sex comedy?


A lot more.  We're too "woke" in 2020 though.
 
2020-07-16 1:46:59 PM  

AngryDragon: AAAAGGGGHHHH: Wouldn't real life be a lot more fun if it were a 1970's sex comedy?

A lot more.  We're too "woke" in 2020 though.


Excuse me, do either one of you fine folks have a spare bedroom I can borrow real quick?

1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


Some of that stuff is seen as problematic now for a reason.
 
2020-07-16 1:48:35 PM  

mongbiohazard: AngryDragon: AAAAGGGGHHHH: Wouldn't real life be a lot more fun if it were a 1970's sex comedy?

A lot more.  We're too "woke" in 2020 though.

Excuse me, do either one of you fine folks have a spare bedroom I can borrow real quick?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 850x478]

Some of that stuff is seen as problematic now for a reason.


Indeed, that manbun is atrocious
 
2020-07-16 1:49:30 PM  
TFA is about Australian police doing welfare checks, but anything other than that really should call ahead.

/Kids doing fundraisers shouldn't be doing them this year
 
2020-07-16 1:49:55 PM  

joeflood: semiotix: I'll say. Pizza delivery guys are such prudes anymore. I pay $20 for some shiatty Domino's, and not only is it hardly ever some beefcake stud in tight shorts who delivers it, when I try to engage in a little banter it's all "if you wanted extra sausage there's a request field on the app" and "sir, gratuities are appreciated but I'm uncomfortable with this talk of giving me 'just the tip.'"

[Fark user image image 663x313]


You had sex on 9/7/2020?
 
2020-07-16 1:50:23 PM  
Please, please, please.......
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size



Damnit!!!!!
thebsreport.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 1:56:50 PM  

1funguy: joeflood: semiotix: I'll say. Pizza delivery guys are such prudes anymore. I pay $20 for some shiatty Domino's, and not only is it hardly ever some beefcake stud in tight shorts who delivers it, when I try to engage in a little banter it's all "if you wanted extra sausage there's a request field on the app" and "sir, gratuities are appreciated but I'm uncomfortable with this talk of giving me 'just the tip.'"

[Fark user image image 663x313]

You had sex on 9/7/2020?


That's 9 July for the coffee drinkers.
 
2020-07-16 1:57:29 PM  
My house, my rules.
 
2020-07-16 1:59:32 PM  
FTFA:
In the police report, the officers said they arrested the 18 over an illegal gathering. Five women and 13 men, ranging in age between 14 and 30, were among those taken into custody.

"We wondered how mature young men and women could do such bizarre acts at such a time. We suspect they must have been producing pornographic content," a police source said.


static.tvtropes.orgView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 2:06:24 PM  

AAAAGGGGHHHH: Wouldn't real life be a lot more fun if it were a 1970's sex comedy?


I dunno- I like facial hair on a man, for the most part, but pictorial evidence suggests I might not be much of a fan of the typical '70s 'stache.
 
2020-07-16 2:06:57 PM  
*opens door* Well hello...
syfy.comView Full Size

can't get enough of this article can you randy farkers?
 
2020-07-16 2:07:42 PM  

JesseL: hubiestubert: Hey, you come to my door, unannounced and uninvited, you get me at that moment. Polite people call first.

That's exactly what I came in here to say.


Kind of defeats the purpose of spot checks though.
 
2020-07-16 2:12:50 PM  

Nimbull: *opens door* Well hello...
[syfy.com image 850x481]
can't get enough of this article can you randy farkers?


No one- and I mean not one- person on the planet would complain if John Barrowman opened his door to them wearing nothing but a smile and with a song in his heart. We'd be too busy trying to figure out a way to get him to turn around for the full view.
 
2020-07-16 2:13:08 PM  
Door to door religion salesmen have had this problem for awhile
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-16 2:16:44 PM  
First, screw you and your authoritarian nazi compliance checks. Seriously screw you straight up your pooper.

Back to the topic, if you don't wanna see me nekkid don't randomly show up on my private property. My property, my rules. Just know in your heart that I don't give a damn if you even exist, never mind what you think of my personal choices.
 
2020-07-16 2:22:48 PM  

theprinceofwands: First, screw you and your authoritarian nazi compliance checks. Seriously screw you straight up your pooper.

Back to the topic, if you don't wanna see me nekkid don't randomly show up on my private property. My property, my rules. Just know in your heart that I don't give a damn if you even exist, never mind what you think of my personal choices.


It could be the pizza guy at the wrong address


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2020-07-16 2:27:17 PM  
what is a sex comedy?
 
2020-07-16 2:29:50 PM  
I'll fix my own cable, thanks.
 
2020-07-16 2:57:39 PM  

joeflood: 1funguy: joeflood: semiotix: I'll say. Pizza delivery guys are such prudes anymore. I pay $20 for some shiatty Domino's, and not only is it hardly ever some beefcake stud in tight shorts who delivers it, when I try to engage in a little banter it's all "if you wanted extra sausage there's a request field on the app" and "sir, gratuities are appreciated but I'm uncomfortable with this talk of giving me 'just the tip.'"

[Fark user image image 663x313]

You had sex on 9/7/2020?

That's 9 July for the coffee drinkers.


Except the time is a 12-hour clock, suggesting it is North America.
 
2020-07-16 3:01:11 PM  
I see the Jehova's and the church folk from time to time.
I always answer the door pantsless.
They leave.

This is how No Soliciting works at my place.
 
2020-07-16 3:05:50 PM  

mongbiohazard: SpectroBoy: If I only got some warning when god botherers were going to ring my doorbell I would answer naked with a boner every time.


"Honey quick! Give me a quick rub! They're at the door again!"

When I was young I was in just the right mood once when a dude from the Jehova's Witnesses knocked on my door. They used to come by about every 2-3 weeks (really farking annoying, I assume because they had a temple nearby), but this time I had a couple hours to kill before I had to meet my friends and I was just in the right headspace, so I was like, "You know what? Fark it. We're doing this."

I debated and discussed religion and existentialism with him for around 3 hours. Two weeks later he came back around the same time, and told me he just wanted to let me know I'd given him so much to think about that he hadn't considered before that he was convinced there was no god, and he had already left his church. He thanked me for opening his eyes, and we shook hands, I bid him good luck on his new non-spiritual journey, and that was that.

Those motherfarkers never sent another missionary to my house ever again.


Dad spent a year in the seminary before discovering he did not like getting hit on by the other guys there and I am happy with his decision, anyway he use to corner either the JW's or the LDS kids to start talking about the bible etc...  My mom would send me or my sister out to tell dad he was needed for something to allow them to leave.  JW's did not come around very often and I think it was a right of passage for the LDS kids after awhile.
 
2020-07-16 3:16:59 PM  
It's our house, you're ringing our doorbell, our rules.
 
2020-07-16 3:30:15 PM  
If interrupt my day to tell me about your God. You will have to look at my junk.
 
2020-07-16 4:12:42 PM  

Cormee: JesseL: hubiestubert: Hey, you come to my door, unannounced and uninvited, you get me at that moment. Polite people call first.

That's exactly what I came in here to say.

Kind of defeats the purpose of spot checks though.


Did I stutter? Come to my door, unannounced and uninvited, you get me at the moment. That may mean dressed, that may mean in my drawers, or it might be buck nekkid. You buys your ticket, you takes your chances.
 
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