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(Twitter)   The sentient bowtie controlling Tucker Carlson is suddenly going on a long-planned "vacation"   (twitter.com) divider line
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3891 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Jul 2020 at 5:42 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-07-13 9:13:33 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2020-07-13 9:27:06 PM  
Here I was hoping he would be sleeping with the fishes.
 
2020-07-13 9:32:31 PM  

Original: Original Tweet:

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Trout fishing?

Is that a Grindr thing I'm not privy to?
 
2020-07-13 9:33:20 PM  
The trout's loss is our win.
 
2020-07-13 9:34:30 PM  
Trout Fishing is a metaphor for a sex act involving the butt, a fist, and a worm.
 
2020-07-13 9:36:35 PM  

The Googles Do Nothing: Trout Fishing is a metaphor for a sex act involving the butt, a fist, and a worm.


I googled that and forgot I was still connected to my work VPN and now I'm fired.

Thanks, asshole!
 
2020-07-13 9:38:36 PM  
Ladies and Gentlemen, the clown show has been put on hiatus for retooling
 
2020-07-13 9:44:03 PM  

LordOfThePings: The trout's loss is our win.


Dammit. Trouts'
 
2020-07-13 9:48:28 PM  
Sponsored by the 4th Reich, I'm sure.
 
2020-07-13 9:50:11 PM  
It is about two-weeks worth of "long" and was he symptomatic before or after he announced his vacation?
 
2020-07-13 9:58:17 PM  
Is this his "apology" for having an asshole for a head writer?
 
2020-07-13 10:04:45 PM  
I doubt he'll be doing that with any watermelon sugar.
 
2020-07-13 10:05:53 PM  
This is all such bullshiat with the writer being the racist.
What is he, Microsoft Sam?  Only sounds out what is typed in?
fark this asshole.
 
2020-07-13 11:00:49 PM  
Stupid flounders.
 
2020-07-13 11:08:03 PM  
They're going to put him a nice farm where he can run around with all the other conservative blowhards
 
2020-07-13 11:08:04 PM  
Translation: The racist POS writer I staffed for god-knows how long was my main (possibly only) important (because he was so racist) writer for my segments and I am incapable of thinking for myself after reading what the racist POS told me to say. I can not emphasize this enough: HE WAS MY BRAIN. The bow tie actually just controls my speech.
 
2020-07-14 12:22:54 AM  

scottydoesntknow: Translation: The racist POS writer I staffed for god-knows how long was my main (possibly only) important (because he was so racist) writer for my segments and I am incapable of thinking for myself after reading what the racist POS told me to say. I can not emphasize this enough: HE WAS MY BRAIN. The bow tie actually just controls my speech.


Yup, and also I think there are negotiations of some kind going on behind the scenes.

We may end up with an altogether different type of entity controlling Fu*ker, I mean, Tucker.
 
2020-07-14 1:05:41 AM  
I wonder if Carlson, Ingraham, and Hannity are going to be around much longer. Fox will need to rebrand after Trump and you can already see them halfassedly starting the process.
 
2020-07-14 3:24:24 AM  

Visual Howlaround Title Sequence: I wonder if Carlson, Ingraham, and Hannity are going to be around much longer. Fox will need to rebrand after Trump and you can already see them halfassedly starting the process.


Yeah especially since Trump is getting pissy at Fox for reporting that Biden is ahead in the polls and trying to encourage his followers to stop watching Fox and go to more ultrapartisan news sources like OANN.

When Trump compared Fox to CNN and a comet appeared in the sky, I knew we were truly in the end times.
 
2020-07-14 4:43:00 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-14 5:02:16 AM  
Did he piss off a Fark mod too?
 
2020-07-14 5:19:52 AM  
This only works for me unless it is followed up with a story next week that contains, "...and was eaten by a bear."

Don't you do it, Smitty. Don't you dare give me hope.
 
2020-07-14 5:40:57 AM  
Nice attempt at a "manly sounding" vacation. I'm sure it's really sitting in a fluffy robe in a five-star "lodge" while watching five poor children fight for one day's rations.
 
2020-07-14 5:43:54 AM  
How many vacations for being racist and losing sponsors is this guy allowed?
 
2020-07-14 5:45:20 AM  
What kind of fish does Maddow hunt?  Is he trying to copy cat?
 
2020-07-14 5:45:42 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: Trout Fishing is a metaphor for a sex act involving the butt, a fist, and a worm.



I googled that and forgot I was still connected to my work VPN and now I'm promoted.

Thanks, arsehole!
 
2020-07-14 5:48:27 AM  

west.la.lawyer: This is all such bullshiat with the writer being the racist.
What is he, Microsoft Sam?  Only sounds out what is typed in?
fark this asshole.


i.makeagif.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-14 5:50:48 AM  
So the rumor track has been Tucker is what passes for "presidential" among the GOP donor class of late for 2024, is this where he goes to Bohemian Grove to sacrifice a child to Moloch? /s
 
2020-07-14 5:52:03 AM  

west.la.lawyer: This is all such bullshiat with the writer being the racist.
What is he, Microsoft Sam?  Only sounds out what is typed in?
fark this asshole.


So, from what I've seen, a lot of TV personalities work with their writers; Conan, Stephen Colbert, John Stewart, etc. I've never heard of that dynamic at Fox News however. The only interactions I ever seem to hear about between the personalities and their underlings are when the latter are sexually harassed.
 
2020-07-14 5:53:26 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-14 5:59:40 AM  
I really don't think people take long vacations to go trout fishing.

It's really not like old timey whaling...

You go trout fishing, you hopefully catch some trout, then what? You already have dinner. I hope he planned other activities, or he is going to get very bored of his dinner options.
 
2020-07-14 6:00:49 AM  

MattytheMouse: west.la.lawyer: This is all such bullshiat with the writer being the racist.
What is he, Microsoft Sam?  Only sounds out what is typed in?
fark this asshole.

So, from what I've seen, a lot of TV personalities work with their writers; Conan, Stephen Colbert, John Stewart, etc. I've never heard of that dynamic at Fox News however. The only interactions I ever seem to hear about between the personalities and their underlings are when the latter are sexually harassed.


There's a difference between working with your writing team to improve the creative process and being wholly reliant on your writing team.  Jon Stewart especially since he was so known for mentoring and growing his writers and staff.

/white knight mode disengaged
 
2020-07-14 6:01:20 AM  

Ken S.: Here I was hoping he would be sleeping with the fishes.


Yeah Grant Imahara dies at 49 but nazi Tucker, Hannity, Trump, Barr and so many others evil scumbags still arent dead with all the shiat they have done in life.
We probably live in hell for all the scumbags to live to 100 and the good people die in their 40s-50s.
 
2020-07-14 6:02:41 AM  
Wondering if Tucker had an online alias used to post some of the same crap and they are trying to get a good excuse.  I would love to see this smug, dough-faced clown fall so hard that they have to use shovels and buckets to remove the pieces.
 
2020-07-14 6:03:32 AM  
 
2020-07-14 6:03:37 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Original: Original Tweet:

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Trout fishing?

Is that a Grindr thing I'm not privy to?


No, you're thinking of "trout fisting." Easy mistake to make.
 
2020-07-14 6:04:19 AM  

Original: Original Tweet:

oliverdarcy: Tucker Carlson announces he is going to be going on a "long planned" vacation "trout fishing."


Too late to reflect on your life and seek redemption. Hell is waiting for you.
 
2020-07-14 6:05:01 AM  
Trout fishing?  What the frig does that even mean?
 
2020-07-14 6:06:37 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Trout fishing?

Is that a Grindr thing I'm not privy to?


Ever see Man in The High Castle? "Going fishing/hunting" was how you assassinated enemies and or liabilities.
 
2020-07-14 6:06:51 AM  
In his spare time he likes to kill defenceless animals by jabbing spears through their mouths and then asphyxiating them. Farking coward.

What is it with American men and needing bloodlust to feel fulfilled?
 
2020-07-14 6:07:09 AM  

SirSigsegV: ecmoRandomNumbers: Original: Original Tweet:

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Trout fishing?

Is that a Grindr thing I'm not privy to?

No, you're thinking of "trout fisting." Easy mistake to make.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-14 6:07:52 AM  

LordOfThePings: The trout's loss is our win.


Like he knows how to fish.
 
2020-07-14 6:19:54 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Nice attempt at a "manly sounding" vacation. I'm sure it's really sitting in a fluffy robe in a five-star "lodge" while watching five poor children fight for one day's rations.


What I find funny is that Rachelle Maddow often takes a few days off to go trout fishing.  Tucker can't even come up with a original lie for his "vacation."
 
2020-07-14 6:24:43 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Original: Original Tweet:

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Trout fishing?

Is that a Grindr thing I'm not privy to?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-14 6:26:51 AM  
What I don't get is that Fox has no real competition.  Their viewers are their viewers.  They could replace any host at any time and get roughly the same ratings.  Who there continues to think Tucker Carlson is a good idea?
 
2020-07-14 6:27:38 AM  
'The Happy Fisherman' popped into my mind when reading the headline for some reason.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-14 6:28:17 AM  

Jake Havechek: Trout fishing?  What the frig does that even mean?


East river trout: Any floating object, usually fecal material or condom, flowing down an urban body of water

Danny dangled his fingers over the edge of the boat as it drifted downtown, until his hand hit something soft. He recoiled and saw that it was a large brown East river trout

Let's not kink shame Tucker. I mean, it's nasty and all, but that's his and his wife's business. Just make sure you wash your hands after shaking his hand. Or pretty much touching anything he was near. You know, to be safe.
 
2020-07-14 6:29:31 AM  

Captain Shaky: I really don't think people take long vacations to go trout fishing.

It's really not like old timey whaling...

You go trout fishing, you hopefully catch some trout, then what? You already have dinner. I hope he planned other activities, or he is going to get very bored of his dinner options.


Some people actually do...one of the wife's older spinster co-workers wound up in a surplus Soviet military helicopter crash in Mongolia on a gal-pal trout hunt a few years back.

No way Tucker's got those kind of balls, though.

/they all survived the crash
//pilot promptly took out a bottle and got plastered
 
2020-07-14 6:31:46 AM  
It's rumored he's going to check out a camp:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-14 6:34:15 AM  
Going Galt?
 
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