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(MSN)   Passenger:"I'm going to kill everybody on this plane. Die in the name of Jesus!" Christ, what an asshole   (msn.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Alaska Airlines, KILL, Airport, Seattle, passenger, KOMO  
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6421 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jul 2020 at 6:31 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



74 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2020-07-13 3:35:24 AM  
Getting a girl to like you by threatening everyone on the plane only works in the movies.
 
2020-07-13 4:20:30 AM  
What do Christians get for being a martyr? 72 altar boys?
 
2020-07-13 5:31:56 AM  

Hobodeluxe: What do Christians get for being a martyr? 72 altar boys?


Underage stepdaughters.
 
2020-07-13 5:51:53 AM  
Man, this Jesus fellow sounds violent and dangerous. I'm certain that folks will get right onto decrying this dangerous cult immediately and investigating their links to extremism.
 
2020-07-13 6:20:12 AM  
Hmmmm, if the dude is screaming in an enclosed environment like a plane not wearing a mask while being infected.

He might just kill everyone on that plane.  Maybe that was his plan all along

5d chess.
 
2020-07-13 6:29:04 AM  
After the passengers had the man secured, a flight attendant announced over the loud speaker that the plane was going to land at the nearest airport, adding "we have everything under control."

i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-13 6:33:47 AM  
Religion of peace?
 
2020-07-13 6:38:20 AM  
Lousy Christians, get your own schtick!
 
2020-07-13 6:40:10 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-13 6:40:12 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-13 6:47:59 AM  
Ahhh, born agains.
 
2020-07-13 6:53:01 AM  
...one of the men who helped is actually a police officer in Chicago.

Thus ensuring the perp received excessive beatings.
 
2020-07-13 6:59:25 AM  
She gave birth to quints, but wasn't preggers.
 
2020-07-13 7:00:29 AM  
I'm getting the distinct impression that my ancestors going out of their way to raid, pillage, and burn down churches and monasteries back in the 8th and 9th centuries were on to something.
 
2020-07-13 7:00:45 AM  
Haha try that on the east coast, maybe, oh, I dunno, up near New York City, and those will be your very last words, to be immediately followed by your cries of pain, muffled by your own butt.

/I've not gotten over being 9/11'd and I know my fellow north easterners haven't either
//f*ck around and find out
///3 for Jon Stewart
 
2020-07-13 7:01:02 AM  
Although that easterly flight was crossed off the schedule, the passengers all rose again and ascended to the skies to resume their journeys.
 
2020-07-13 7:01:57 AM  
Subdued quickly sounds like he was punched repeatedly in the head like the ending scene of death proof.
A lot of people are pretty sick of a lot of other people's shiat about now.
I hope he tries the "I found Jesus" approach to bidding for leniency.
The judge could use a good laugh before he is swallowed whole by the prison system.
 
2020-07-13 7:03:44 AM  

Mad Scientist: ...one of the men who helped is actually a police officer in Chicago.

Thus ensuring the perp received excessive beatings.


In the case of a religious nutjob terrorist, I'm not saying I approve, I'm just saying I'm not going out of my way to feel too horrible and angry about it, should that have happened.

/See also, pedophiles, serial rapists, and other such assholes.
 
2020-07-13 7:06:51 AM  

vudukungfu: Subdued quickly sounds like he was punched repeatedly in the head like the ending scene of death proof.
A lot of people are pretty sick of a lot of other people's shiat about now.
I hope he tries the "I found Jesus" approach to bidding for leniency.
The judge could use a good laugh before he is swallowed whole by the prison system.


I would sincerely love it if the guy did try to use that as a bid for leniency, and have the Judge turn around and use biblical chapter and verse to point out clearly where Jesus' teachings directly refuted his entire approach and and was the opposite of what that asshole was all about.

You know, a la the West Wing's epic takedown of that Dr. Laura stand-in biblethumper lady.

"you say you found god, and that that demands mercy? Let's talk about this passage from Matthew..."
 
2020-07-13 7:07:52 AM  

Loucifer: Although that easterly flight was crossed off the schedule, the passengers all rose again and ascended to the skies to resume their journeys.


Denying you a load of souls you had hoped to collect to ease your quota.

/username reference
//Haven't had enough coffee for more colorful repartee.
 
2020-07-13 7:08:22 AM  
Wow. A lot of hate for this person. I thought the fark collective usually supported crazy peopleppeople gettingngetting helphhelp rather than jail.
 
2020-07-13 7:08:50 AM  

LiberalConservative: Wow. A lot of hate for this person. I thought the fark collective usually supported crazy peopleppeople gettingngetting helphhelp rather than jail.


WTF happened to my post?
 
2020-07-13 7:10:52 AM  
So, when does he arrive in Gitmo? Oh - in the name Christ. Well carry on then.
 
2020-07-13 7:11:10 AM  

LiberalConservative: LiberalConservative: Wow. A lot of hate for this person. I thought the fark collective usually supported crazy peopleppeople gettingngetting helphhelp rather than jail.

WTF happened to my post?


God hates you.
 
2020-07-13 7:12:08 AM  

ViolentEastCoastCity: Haha try that on the east coast, maybe, oh, I dunno, up near New York City, and those will be your very last words, to be immediately followed by your cries of pain, muffled by your own butt.

/I've not gotten over being 9/11'd and I know my fellow north easterners haven't either
//f*ck around and find out
///3 for Jon Stewart


I just remember the "shoe bomber" was stopped, and someone got a small fire extinguisher and beat the shiat out of him. If I recall, it was somewhat of a group effort.

si.wsj.netView Full Size
 
2020-07-13 7:18:15 AM  
I've been watching too much L&O, and somewhere after 9/11 they did an episode about something like a Christian version of a terrorist madrasa. Many religious beliefs can be warped into violence.
 
2020-07-13 7:22:15 AM  
And they will know we are Christians by out love
 
2020-07-13 7:26:11 AM  

LiberalConservative: Wow. A lot of hate for this person. I thought the fark collective usually supported crazy peopleppeople gettingngetting helphhelp rather than jail.


We tolerate many, many things.
Getting a flight delayed or cancelled is not one of them.

Also, FTA:
"Port of Seattle Police took the man into custody without incident once the plane landed and booked him into the King County Jail for harassment."
(Emphasis mine)

In a time where people get charged with terrorism for the most ridiculous crap, this guy pulls this stunt, causing panic in the plane, physical engagements, plane is redirected back...and he gets harassment charges.

/familyguy.jpg
 
2020-07-13 7:28:01 AM  

wildcardjack: I've been watching too much L&O, and somewhere after 9/11 they did an episode about something like a Christian version of a terrorist madrasa. Many religious beliefs can be warped into violence.


So a militia?

/your statement also works without the word "religious"
 
2020-07-13 7:32:46 AM  
Where are the good Christians decrying his actions?!
 
2020-07-13 7:35:10 AM  

born_yesterday: LiberalConservative: LiberalConservative: Wow. A lot of hate for this person. I thought the fark collective usually supported crazy peopleppeople gettingngetting helphhelp rather than jail.

WTF happened to my post?

God hates you.


Funnied. That's ok, he's likely not real. Wondering it it is a new filter.... hold my beer: Crazy people should get the help they need.
 
2020-07-13 7:46:29 AM  

EvilEgg: Where are the good Christians decrying his actions?!


Statistically, probably trying to get him secured in that seat.

Also probably trying to figure out why he was so insistent that Jesus was Black.  Killing people because they don't "accept that Jesus was a Black man" is pretty far from standard Christian theology.
 
2020-07-13 7:48:07 AM  

Earguy: ViolentEastCoastCity: Haha try that on the east coast, maybe, oh, I dunno, up near New York City, and those will be your very last words, to be immediately followed by your cries of pain, muffled by your own butt.

/I've not gotten over being 9/11'd and I know my fellow north easterners haven't either
//f*ck around and find out
///3 for Jon Stewart

I just remember the "shoe bomber" was stopped, and someone got a small fire extinguisher and beat the shiat out of him. If I recall, it was somewhat of a group effort.

[si.wsj.net image 553x369]


If you  think that is the face of someone who has had the shiat beat out of them you have lived a very sheltered life.
 
2020-07-13 7:49:15 AM  

Resident Muslim: LiberalConservative: Wow. A lot of hate for this person. I thought the fark collective usually supported crazy peopleppeople gettingngetting helphhelp rather than jail.

We tolerate many, many things.
Getting a flight delayed or cancelled is not one of them.

Also, FTA:
"Port of Seattle Police took the man into custody without incident once the plane landed and booked him into the King County Jail for harassment."
(Emphasis mine)

In a time where people get charged with terrorism for the most ridiculous crap, this guy pulls this stunt, causing panic in the plane, physical engagements, plane is redirected back...and he gets harassment charges.

/familyguy.jpg


Federal charges pending, I would hope.
 
2020-07-13 7:49:27 AM  

vudukungfu: Subdued quickly sounds like he was punched repeatedly in the head like the ending scene of death proof.
A lot of people are pretty sick of a lot of other people's shiat about now.
I hope he tries the "I found Jesus" approach to bidding for leniency.
The judge could use a good laugh before he is swallowed whole by the prison system.


Or the judge might be a born-again or other nutbar who agrees with him.

There is a reason that Trumpers want to pack the courts with their judicial picks.
 
2020-07-13 7:53:00 AM  

LiberalConservative: LiberalConservative: Wow. A lot of hate for this person. I thought the fark collective usually supported crazy peopleppeople gettingngetting helphhelp rather than jail.

WTF happened to my post?


You became a victim of your own echo chamber more literally than most people do.
 
2020-07-13 7:55:17 AM  

Dork Gently: EvilEgg: Where are the good Christians decrying his actions?!

Statistically, probably trying to get him secured in that seat.

Also probably trying to figure out why he was so insistent that Jesus was Black.  Killing people because they don't "accept that Jesus was a Black man" is pretty far from standard Christian theology.


Middle easterners considered black?  At best he was a swarthy Jew.

Race is weird it's like trying to say where blue ends and green begins.
 
2020-07-13 8:00:20 AM  

LiberalConservative: LiberalConservative: Wow. A lot of hate for this person. I thought the fark collective usually supported crazy peopleppeople gettingngetting helphhelp rather than jail.

WTF happened to my post?


...modsmodsmodsmodsfookingwithyou...
 
2020-07-13 8:01:11 AM  

Truck Fump: Resident Muslim: LiberalConservative: Wow. A lot of hate for this person. I thought the fark collective usually supported crazy peopleppeople gettingngetting helphhelp rather than jail.

We tolerate many, many things.
Getting a flight delayed or cancelled is not one of them.

Also, FTA:
"Port of Seattle Police took the man into custody without incident once the plane landed and booked him into the King County Jail for harassment."
(Emphasis mine)

In a time where people get charged with terrorism for the most ridiculous crap, this guy pulls this stunt, causing panic in the plane, physical engagements, plane is redirected back...and he gets harassment charges.

/familyguy.jpg

Federal charges pending, I would hope.


I didn't read that he had any weapons or anything, so I'd say more likely needs help, the non-voluntary type.

The problem is that mental health facilities aren't that great either.
 
2020-07-13 8:03:43 AM  

Kit Fister: Mad Scientist: ...one of the men who helped is actually a police officer in Chicago.

Thus ensuring the perp received excessive beatings.

In the case of a religious nutjob terrorist, I'm not saying I approve, I'm just saying I'm not going out of my way to feel too horrible and angry about it, should that have happened.

/See also, pedophiles, serial rapists, and other such assholes.


You dick about and scare people on a plane, you're gonna get slapped hard.
It might be an overreaction, and excessive force for a second, but no jury in the world would have a problem with it.
 
2020-07-13 8:09:39 AM  

Snapper Carr: [i.imgur.com image 500x528]


Yeah, you need to at least kill 100s of people to get Jesus' approval. This guy is small-time.
 
2020-07-13 8:12:56 AM  
Deus vult?
 
2020-07-13 8:33:51 AM  

Earguy: ViolentEastCoastCity: Haha try that on the east coast, maybe, oh, I dunno, up near New York City, and those will be your very last words, to be immediately followed by your cries of pain, muffled by your own butt.

/I've not gotten over being 9/11'd and I know my fellow north easterners haven't either
//f*ck around and find out
///3 for Jon Stewart

I just remember the "shoe bomber" was stopped, and someone got a small fire extinguisher and beat the shiat out of him.


Apparently not. I still see a piece of shiat.
 
2020-07-13 8:35:12 AM  
The guy is Christian. When he said "I will kill you all." He probably meant "with kindness."
 
2020-07-13 8:47:16 AM  
If he just changed one word, it would have been a terrorism charge as opposed to this weak-ass harassment charge.
 
2020-07-13 8:55:52 AM  

Snapper Carr: [i.imgur.com image 500x528]


img.ifunny.coView Full Size
 
2020-07-13 9:03:20 AM  
What part of "Jesus doesn't want you to murder anyone, especially not in his name" are Christians not getting?

kayanlau: If he just changed one word, it would have been a terrorism charge as opposed to this weak-ass harassment charge.


Probably, this.
 
2020-07-13 9:19:03 AM  

Hobodeluxe: What do Christians get for being a martyr? 72 altar boys?


A megachurch & jet airplane.
 
2020-07-13 9:26:35 AM  
"He who farketh around on an aircraft shall have his ass handed to him, In Thy mercy."

-III Corinthians 6:9
 
2020-07-13 10:42:16 AM  

EvilEgg: Dork Gently: EvilEgg: Where are the good Christians decrying his actions?!

Statistically, probably trying to get him secured in that seat.

Also probably trying to figure out why he was so insistent that Jesus was Black.  Killing people because they don't "accept that Jesus was a Black man" is pretty far from standard Christian theology.

Middle easterners considered black?  At best he was a swarthy Jew.

Race is weird it's like trying to say where blue ends and green begins.


Green ends at 580THz. Blue begins at 610THz. Cyan sits between them.
 
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