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(The Paris Review)   First rule if you win the lottery: DON'T TELL ANYONE   (theparisreview.org) divider line
    More: Scary, Powerball, Mega Millions, Florida Lottery, remains of Abraham Shakespeare, Dee Dee Moore, Multi-State Lottery Association, State lotteries of the United States, Lottery  
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8354 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2020 at 11:25 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-07-10 6:45:09 PM  
1) Get a lawyer - there are ones that specialize in lottery winners. If you can, set up a corporation to receive your winnings and remain anonymous.

2) Get a financial advisor; that much money is a job all in itself and you most likely don't have the expertise to manage it properly.

3) Don't get stupid and start living like you think rich people do. Leave that sort of idiocy to rappers and pro athletes.

4) Tell everyone with their hand out to kiss your ass.
 
2020-07-10 9:00:51 PM  
A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"
 
2020-07-10 10:14:12 PM  
Haven't read the article, but what amused me is I literally overheard a conversation in a convenience store where they were talking about winning a million dollars and discussing payout, cash, annuity, taxes, etc. The lady ended the encounter by saying, "Don't tell anybody you won a million dollars. Just get the money and disappear. I know I'd be gone gone gone."
 
2020-07-10 10:34:04 PM  
Anyway, now reading the article I get to a spot where "stopped reading right there" usually means I know the rest will be stupid, but I "stopped reading right there" long enough to quote an excerpt that pinged my inner passion.

Because those who buy tickets are, like Abraham Shakespeare, disproportionately lower income and Black, the lottery has shunted the burden of taxation onto the vulnerable, who do not receive a proportionate share when the funds get doled back out. The lottery effectively functions as a massive enterprise of wealth extraction and redistribution. We're all in this together? Far from it.

This is predominantly how society functions. The poor pay a disproportionate amount to keep things running. So not only does the working class do the work to keep things running, they also have to use their money as well.  Please show me how somebody who makes their money by having money pays as much proportionally as the working class to keep things running.

Please include the fact that the working class also spends the money left over after taxes to buy the services that again get taxed and keeps society running.

Thank you in advance.
 
2020-07-10 10:47:55 PM  
And now having finished the article, I'm glad that Karen con-artist got her just due.
 
2020-07-10 11:27:37 PM  
Yeah, it was a scam when the mob ran the numbers racket, too.
 
2020-07-10 11:29:23 PM  
I mean, criminals are stupid and all, but you can drive to any number of wealthy neighborhoods to find a millionaire to target.
 
2020-07-10 11:31:59 PM  
Farking one-time payoffs, man. They'll trick you into thinking it's income, when it's not. You go spending it fast and then it's gone; it is not coming back. So here's an idea -- spread it out over your lifetime. Be like, I have roughly 40 years left to live, I won $80,000, that's only $2000 a year to spend.
 
2020-07-10 11:33:45 PM  
I have an uncle that inherited a few million $. What surprised me the most is how many of his acquaintances, not even friends, just assumed they deserved a cut.

Thankfully he parked it with a CFA who shields him from the b.s.
 
2020-07-10 11:37:47 PM  

syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"


Lottery still pays out more often than a cable TV subscription.
 
2020-07-10 11:37:59 PM  
Here come the fark experts on what to do if you win the lottery.

Quick, someone post that reddit thread.
 
2020-07-10 11:41:54 PM  
Am I the only one who still plays the lottery???
W/that $1.00 I give helps out the........
 
2020-07-10 11:42:16 PM  

zang: syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"

Lottery still pays out more often than a cable TV subscription.


I do love that a farker that spends $5/month on Total Fark and $100 on "Oh Fark" is telling people they're stupid for buying a lottery ticket though.

/Alanis_Morissette.bmp
 
2020-07-10 11:44:43 PM  

zang: syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"

Lottery still pays out more often than a cable TV subscription.


Or cigarettes

/I only play when the take home amount is greater than the odds
 
2020-07-10 11:45:46 PM  
Surprised no one mentioned that a man named Shakespeare could neither read nor write.

Lottery winners are advised to remain anonymous and secure the services of a lawyer before presenting themselves, but Shakespeare casually appeared on TV from Tallahassee, holding an oversized check in a Florida Lottery T-shirt.

This never turns out well.

But now that he'd hit, Shakespeare remembered those who'd been good to him, and repaid every little kindness with considerable interest. He paid for people's medical bills, utility bills, funeral bills. He loaned a friend $1 million, and gave three stepsisters $250,000 each. Someone he didn't even know had their $60,000 mortgage paid off.

Oh boy. The man was doomed long before he met the con-artist that eventually killed him.
 
2020-07-10 11:46:03 PM  
My state doesn't allow anonymous claims; the names are always published.

This means you'd have to immediately change your legal name and move, possibly out of state, if you want to stand even a 50% chance of having 50% of that money OR your life in 10 years' time.

And you still have to find a trustworthy law firm to set up the Trusts.  You get the Trusts to pay you (and anyone else you want to help) on a regular basis but be administered by said trustworthy lawyer.  Trusts can't be sued for sexually assaulting a woman you were alone with in an elevator for 90 seconds, for starting a bar fight you weren't even in, etc.  If you only have, say six figures to your name at any given time, there's nothing for opportunists to try to get from you in a settlement over nonsense or lies.
 
2020-07-10 11:48:46 PM  

nytmare: Farking one-time payoffs, man. They'll trick you into thinking it's income, when it's not. You go spending it fast and then it's gone; it is not coming back. So here's an idea -- spread it out over your lifetime. Be like, I have roughly 40 years left to live, I won $80,000, that's only $2000 a year to spend.


It all comes down to willpower and needs. If I was a fresh 23 year old with 60k in student loans and a beater on wheels, I wouldn't blame anyone on cashing out thier debts, getting thier teeth fixed. Or for paying off a house if I am older (which I am). 2 grand a year is something I would never say no to, but means nothing but fun money. 2 grand will not save you from having poverty problems.

Again, a willpower game. You can math out how much 500K could last you 20 years vs. The 600K spaced out on an annuity.
 
2020-07-10 11:50:52 PM  
For the first time ever I'm on a winning streak. I got a scratch ticket from my mother in law for father's day. $5 ticket, $20 payout.

Then yesterday I noticed a scratch ticket on my dashboard I didn't remember buying. Because I almost never buy them unless I'm drinking and feel like wasting money. $10 ticket, won $20.

Funny thing is, both times I thought the payout was $15. Not sure which number I missed, thank god it's computerized.

Usually I abhor getting scratch tickets as presents. Just give me the money you spent on them.

One time my grandmother gave me a card that had five scratch tickets that she had already scratched that were winners. That was awesome. I mean, it was still a Depression-era grandma gift of about $15, but it meant a lot that she put that much thought into giving me nothing but winning tickets.
 
2020-07-10 11:51:53 PM  
Once a year I'd hand out random lotto numbered tickets to family.  Never one for myself.  You soon find out who gives a fark about you.
 
2020-07-10 11:52:01 PM  
I went through it with one of my best friends that won a million on a scratch ticket.

People came out of the woodwork looking for a cut.  Family he hadn't seen in a decade (we were in our early 20's) suddenly wanted to get together.  Friends we hadn't seen since grade school were looking for him.

As a good friend it wasn't hard to stay out of it.  Wherever we were or whatever we were doing I wouldn't consider doing it unless I was paying my fair share.  And there were plenty of things he went and did without me.

For awhile he was tough to deal with, had a lot of new friends that I didn't think were in his best interests, a lot of new hobbies that he got into because it impressed others.

I remember telling him one day that when it was all said and done if he needed a couch mine would be there for him if he needed it.

About halfway through the annual payouts he figured it out.  He inherited some money as well and bundled it all together and bought a house and got a financial planner.  By the time it stopped coming in he had his life on an even keel.  He said he noticed the difference financially but it wasn't so much that he was at risk with it.

I would say it could have gone 50/50.  Most of his old friends were still there when it ended.
 
2020-07-11 12:01:33 AM  
If you lose all your lotto money a helpful tip is buy the Kroger Brand can ravioli instead of the Chef Boyardi because the Kroger Brand has real tomato sauce instead of that weird clear liquid with little orange specks of whatever in it.

99 cents too - pretty good deal.
 
2020-07-11 12:05:28 AM  

DippityDoo: If you lose all your lotto money a helpful tip is buy the Kroger Brand can ravioli instead of the Chef Boyardi because the Kroger Brand has real tomato sauce instead of that weird clear liquid with little orange specks of whatever in it.

99 cents too - pretty good deal.


pshhh

fish for stray dogs with the can of food. all the meat you can eat
 
2020-07-11 12:09:38 AM  
TheOtherGuy:  My state doesn't allow anonymous claims; the names are always published.

There are always work-arounds: for example the ticket could be claimed by an LLC.  Then the distribution occur under the name of a separate LLC.

FARK is your friend.  This link has been repeated for years:
https://www.ar15.com/forums/general/-​/​5-749519/?page=1
 
2020-07-11 12:12:33 AM  

abhorrent1: Here come the fark experts on what to do if you win the lottery.

Quick, someone post that reddit thread.


There's enough evidence to show that not following the advice in "that Reddit thread" is tantamount to suicide, so it does little harm to give it some thought before you dive into the abyss on your own and, in the end, if you win that much money spending a very small fraction of it to protect yourself isn't a bad idea.

Conversely, you could be dismissive of that advice and end up in a concrete slab. I think I'd rather be a bit more circumspect, but you do you.
 
2020-07-11 12:13:01 AM  

abhorrent1: zang: syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"

Lottery still pays out more often than a cable TV subscription.

I do love that a farker that spends $5/month on Total Fark and $100 on "Oh Fark" is telling people they're stupid for buying a lottery ticket though.

/Alanis_Morissette.bmp


Wha?? As a proud TFer and OFer I must ask: How can you compare paying for a product (Fark content) and supporting said content and it's community with gambling against terrible odds to try to get rich?

/Now that I've written all that out I'm realizing I've fallen for bait.  But posting anyway
 
2020-07-11 12:14:13 AM  
The problem is.. the people smart enough to know what to do after a big lottery win are also smart enough to not buy lottery tickets to begin with.
 
2020-07-11 12:19:10 AM  
Someone posted a really good link a while ago by a financial adviser or something.  Really good. If anyone knows what I'm referring to and has a link could you please post it? Thanks.
 
2020-07-11 12:23:11 AM  
If you are going to help a bunch of people, you can still do so anonymously.

You have your lawyer draft up a check to all the folks you want to receive one.  You tell them a condition of accepting the check is to not reveal how much it was (possibly even that you got one).  Even if that isn't legally binding, it might help.

Then you explain any extra spending on your part as coming from the check you got from the anonymous do-gooder.  This works if you keep it in the family.  Too many friends or coworkers and the common denominator will reveal itself.
 
2020-07-11 12:24:02 AM  

Por que tan serioso: Someone posted a really good link a while ago by a financial adviser or something.  Really good. If anyone knows what I'm referring to and has a link could you please post it? Thanks.


This.
 
2020-07-11 12:25:17 AM  

Cosmic Cowboy: abhorrent1: zang: syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"

Lottery still pays out more often than a cable TV subscription.

I do love that a farker that spends $5/month on Total Fark and $100 on "Oh Fark" is telling people they're stupid for buying a lottery ticket though.

/Alanis_Morissette.bmp

Wha?? As a proud TFer and OFer I must ask: How can you compare paying for a product (Fark content) and supporting said content and it's community with gambling against terrible odds to try to get rich?

/Now that I've written all that out I'm realizing I've fallen for bait.  But posting anyway


I'm not saying you're stupid for paying for TF or OF. I've paid for TF.
But I also don't tell other people they're dumb for buying lottery tickets, which I also do on occasion.
 
2020-07-11 12:32:12 AM  

Cosmic Cowboy: abhorrent1: zang: syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"

Lottery still pays out more often than a cable TV subscription.

I do love that a farker that spends $5/month on Total Fark and $100 on "Oh Fark" is telling people they're stupid for buying a lottery ticket though.

/Alanis_Morissette.bmp

Wha?? As a proud TFer and OFer I must ask: How can you compare paying for a product (Fark content) and supporting said content and it's community with gambling against terrible odds to try to get rich?

/Now that I've written all that out I'm realizing I've fallen for bait.  But posting anyway


Playing the lottery is entertainment.  You pay for it, and it makes you a little bit excited for a while.  You don't get the $1M payout, but for $5 you get a little happy feeling while you walk home on Friday, thinking about what might be on the other side of the wall.  The world isn't a bunch of farking accountants hunched over their sacks of coins at 11:00 at night.
 
2020-07-11 12:32:30 AM  

abhorrent1: Cosmic Cowboy: abhorrent1: zang: syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"

Lottery still pays out more often than a cable TV subscription.

I do love that a farker that spends $5/month on Total Fark and $100 on "Oh Fark" is telling people they're stupid for buying a lottery ticket though.

/Alanis_Morissette.bmp

Wha?? As a proud TFer and OFer I must ask: How can you compare paying for a product (Fark content) and supporting said content and it's community with gambling against terrible odds to try to get rich?

/Now that I've written all that out I'm realizing I've fallen for bait.  But posting anyway

I'm not saying you're stupid for paying for TF or OF. I've paid for TF.
But I also don't tell other people they're dumb for buying lottery tickets, which I also do on occasion.


who new if it's off it's post or something?

I'm trying to catch up with the new lingo.
 
2020-07-11 12:35:08 AM  

abhorrent1: zang: syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"

Lottery still pays out more often than a cable TV subscription.

I do love that a farker that spends $5/month on Total Fark and $100 on "Oh Fark" is telling people they're stupid for buying a lottery ticket though.

/Alanis_Morissette.bmp


I buy lottery tickets. I'm bad at multivariate transformational calculus, like when you're given the geometry of a nuclear fuel pellet with a constant heat generation per unit volume and a boundary condition of a constant temperature at the edge of the geometry (the reactor coolant), and you have to transform this into a three dimensional equation of the steady-state temperature of the geometry.  Nuc E 401. I hated that class.

I just like that joke. It's older than HTTP.
 
2020-07-11 12:41:26 AM  
That article was the definition of TLDR.
 
2020-07-11 12:42:21 AM  

Salmon: abhorrent1: Cosmic Cowboy: abhorrent1: zang: syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"

Lottery still pays out more often than a cable TV subscription.

I do love that a farker that spends $5/month on Total Fark and $100 on "Oh Fark" is telling people they're stupid for buying a lottery ticket though.

/Alanis_Morissette.bmp

Wha?? As a proud TFer and OFer I must ask: How can you compare paying for a product (Fark content) and supporting said content and it's community with gambling against terrible odds to try to get rich?

/Now that I've written all that out I'm realizing I've fallen for bait.  But posting anyway

I'm not saying you're stupid for paying for TF or OF. I've paid for TF.
But I also don't tell other people they're dumb for buying lottery tickets, which I also do on occasion.

who new if it's off it's post or something?

I'm trying to catch up with the new lingo.


I have no idea what this means.
 
2020-07-11 12:46:48 AM  

abhorrent1: Cosmic Cowboy: abhorrent1: zang: syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"

Lottery still pays out more often than a cable TV subscription.

I do love that a farker that spends $5/month on Total Fark and $100 on "Oh Fark" is telling people they're stupid for buying a lottery ticket though.

/Alanis_Morissette.bmp

Wha?? As a proud TFer and OFer I must ask: How can you compare paying for a product (Fark content) and supporting said content and it's community with gambling against terrible odds to try to get rich?

/Now that I've written all that out I'm realizing I've fallen for bait.  But posting anyway

I'm not saying you're stupid for paying for TF or OF. I've paid for TF.
But I also don't tell other people they're dumb for buying lottery tickets, which I also do on occasion.


Ah - I see your point. And I agree it's not stupid to buy an occasional lottery ticket if it's something you enjoy.

It's funny how the word "stupid" really gets people defensive.  I personally hardly ever buy them (but definitely have) so I didn't feel defensive when the poster said it was stupid.  And then couldn't understand the point you were making.

But once you called out something *I* did, I still didn't see your point but rather got defensive myself!

/Alanis_Morissette.bmp
 
2020-07-11 1:06:07 AM  
I would want to remain anonymous. Since I live in New Mexico, I'd change my name you Joe Romero or Joe Baca. I've discovered it's the NM version of Smith or Jones
 
2020-07-11 1:07:42 AM  
As people will annoy for some, others will look for your data and who you look like.  Then try to kill you and pretend they are you even eat you
 
2020-07-11 1:28:11 AM  
Would Subby tell their spouse if they won a jackpot or try to spend it all before they find out?
 
2020-07-11 1:36:00 AM  

fragMasterFlash: Would Subby tell their spouse if they won a jackpot or try to spend it all before they find out?


Obviously you give the ticket to a friend you think you trust, and then everything turns pear-shaped and you wind up with a crazy movie out of it.
 
2020-07-11 1:40:25 AM  

syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"


I'm sure some people can explain how such choices could happen to anyone
 
2020-07-11 1:41:15 AM  
Ok subby I won't even tell my lawyer.
 
2020-07-11 1:42:01 AM  
Nor my mom, nor either one of my sisters.

Just my cat and I. And this paddle ball.
 
2020-07-11 1:43:12 AM  

oa330_man: I would want to remain anonymous. Since I live in New Mexico, I'd change my name you Joe Romero or Joe Baca. I've discovered it's the NM version of Smith or Jones


I'd go as Miguel de la Teriwiner.  No one would suspect a thing
 
2020-07-11 1:44:35 AM  
I would have gone with the Obvious tag.
 
2020-07-11 1:53:21 AM  
1) Don't tell anyone

2) Don't tell anyone

3) Don't tell anyone
 
2020-07-11 2:12:57 AM  
So I guess I shouldn't come in here and announce that I just won the lottery?
 
2020-07-11 2:12:59 AM  

TheOtherGuy: My state doesn't allow anonymous claims; the names are always published.

This means you'd have to immediately change your legal name and move, possibly out of state, if you want to stand even a 50% chance of having 50% of that money OR your life in 10 years' time.

And you still have to find a trustworthy law firm to set up the Trusts.  You get the Trusts to pay you (and anyone else you want to help) on a regular basis but be administered by said trustworthy lawyer.  Trusts can't be sued for sexually assaulting a woman you were alone with in an elevator for 90 seconds, for starting a bar fight you weren't even in, etc.  If you only have, say six figures to your name at any given time, there's nothing for opportunists to try to get from you in a settlement over nonsense or lies.


Usually you can create a trust and then the trust's name is on it.

Hell, putting it into a trust isn't a terrible idea regardless, especially if it is large; it makes it a whole lot easier for the accountant.

You'll want an accountant. And a financial planner, and maybe a lawyer. Those people are important, because what you really need is advice that is better than what can be had from divine hobo dicks on the internet.
 
2020-07-11 2:14:24 AM  

zang: The world isn't a bunch of farking accountants hunched over their sacks of coins at 11:00 at night.


The good parts are!
 
2020-07-11 2:22:39 AM  

syrynxx: A study of the Virginia lottery showed that 61 percent of its sales are made to just 8 percent of the total population

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math"


I imagine that's probably true of most types of entertainment, that a small minority of people are responsible for most of the spending.

/Doesn't play the lottery
//Spends the money on booze instead
 
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