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(Twitter)   Channel 5 News Cleveland is all out of farks to give   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, shot  
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6054 clicks; posted to Politics » on 10 Jul 2020 at 4:53 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-07-10 4:55:27 PM  
43 votes:
facebook should be painful
 
2020-07-10 5:04:45 PM  
34 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-10 5:00:18 PM  
30 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: If you want to see some of the self-proclaimed experts for yourself:

https://www.facebook.com/News5Clevelan​d/posts/10160061987629922


Fark user imageView Full Size


What the actual f**k is wrong with some people? Wait.

Fark user imageView Full Size


Yep. That's the problem.
 
2020-07-10 4:59:09 PM  
28 votes:
The real facebook "Karens" are always named Debbie, Linda, or Susan. ALL of them.
 
2020-07-10 3:41:20 PM  
28 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 528x349]


My mom told me the same thing about the positive tests!  Guess I know what the FNC talking point is this week.
 
2020-07-10 5:00:06 PM  
24 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 513x368]


It's not like they attribute automobile fatalities as covid-related, just stuff like pneumonia and other common complications of the damned virus.

My MAGAt co-worker goes on and on about this crap.
 
2020-07-10 5:04:21 PM  
23 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image image 513x368]


Based on this logic, HIV isn't fatal at all.
 
2020-07-10 4:56:54 PM  
19 votes:
Channel 5 News: The Musical w/ Lyrics - Bo Burnham - what
Youtube mWv7Vfku6w4
 
2020-07-10 5:07:03 PM  
18 votes:
They're intentionally spreading misinformation in order to kill their fellow Americans.
 
2020-07-10 5:10:46 PM  
14 votes:

TheWordGuy: [YouTube video: Channel 5 News: The Musical w/ Lyrics - Bo Burnham - what]


username does not check out
 
2020-07-10 5:00:55 PM  
14 votes:

Soup4Bonnie: facebook should be painful


It already is.  Unfortunately, it's just painful for everyone who reads it.
 
2020-07-10 5:21:17 PM  
13 votes:

47 is the new 42: ippolit: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image image 513x368]

Based on this logic, HIV isn't fatal at all.

Wouldn't the cause of death in that case be AIDS? HIV is to AIDS as SARS-COV-2 is to COVID-19.

Your point still stands though.


AIDS is Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. So it doesn't kill you either, it just makes it easy for anything else to kill you.
 
2020-07-10 5:06:26 PM  
12 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image image 513x368]


Facts from high school drop outs. Awesome!!
 
2020-07-10 5:15:20 PM  
11 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Noted health expert from Perfectly Posh knows what's up.
[Fark user image 553x398]


I emailed that to Perfectly Posh's support to let them know they hired an embarrassment.  How hard is it to keep your work out of your social media?
 
2020-07-10 4:22:51 PM  
11 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 528x349]


I like how he thinks this is a meaningful observation.
 
2020-07-10 4:58:50 PM  
10 votes:
The Hero tag often gets thrown around here....
 
2020-07-10 3:20:43 PM  
10 votes:
If you want to see some of the self-proclaimed experts for yourself:

https://www.facebook.com/News5Clevela​n​d/posts/10160061987629922
 
2020-07-10 5:19:31 PM  
9 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 513x368]


I can't stand that "thinking" emoji.  I always picture it being the American Thinker/Potato meme that can't be used here anymore.
 
2020-07-10 5:14:25 PM  
8 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: If you want to see some of the self-proclaimed experts for yourself:

https://www.facebook.com/News5Clevelan​d/posts/10160061987629922


media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-10 5:13:45 PM  
8 votes:

Snatch Bandergrip: They're intentionally spreading misinformation in order to kill their fellow Americans.


Sweet, summer comrade..
 
2020-07-10 5:11:06 PM  
8 votes:
And the Twitter replies below prove him right.
 
2020-07-10 5:37:15 PM  
7 votes:

Ketchuponsteak: Diogenes: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 528x349]

I like how he thinks this is a meaningful observation.

If you were run over by a car, then it shouldn't count as a Covid-19 death, he has a point.


And do you know for a fact that this is happening?  Fell off a roof - COVID!  Shot by a jealous ex - COVID!  It's not reasonable.  But he states it as if it were self-evidently true.

If anything, we're undercounting deaths because the cause was complications due to COVID.

And yes, an (accurate) positive test means you are sick.  You can infect others.  It may not mean you're bedridden or hospitalized.  But if you can infect others, you're sick.
 
2020-07-10 5:16:35 PM  
6 votes:

TheWordGuy: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/mWv7Vfku​6w4]


YOU OUT-BO BURNHAM'D I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That!
 
2020-07-10 5:10:15 PM  
6 votes:

TheWordGuy: [YouTube video: Channel 5 News: The Musical w/ Lyrics - Bo Burnham - what]


This is actually the first time I have "heard" anything by Bo Burnham. Everything I knew from him up til now was from the GIFs posted here, I've been meaning to look him up for quite some time.

I dig this track. Sounds like a hybrid of a Weird Al original crossed with Atom And His Package, with maybe just a pinch of MC Lars. Definitely need to look up more of this guy.
 
2020-07-10 5:51:51 PM  
5 votes:

Ketchuponsteak: Diogenes: Ketchuponsteak: Diogenes: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 528x349]

I like how he thinks this is a meaningful observation.

If you were run over by a car, then it shouldn't count as a Covid-19 death, he has a point.

And do you know for a fact that this is happening?  Fell off a roof - COVID!  Shot by a jealous ex - COVID!  It's not reasonable.  But he states it as if it were self-evidently true.

If anything, we're undercounting deaths because the cause was complications due to COVID.

And yes, an (accurate) positive test means you are sick.  You can infect others.  It may not mean you're bedridden or hospitalized.  But if you can infect others, you're sick.

Covid can cause issues with your vision, which explains falling off roofs, or walking in front of cars.

Oh, and Syphilis wasn't the only thing you gave your X.


Ah, I see.  You're a jerk.  Fair enough!
 
2020-07-10 5:20:54 PM  
5 votes:

Walker: And the Twitter replies below prove him right.


I honestly wonder how many are bots. Once in a while I'll get bored and do a GIS on a profile pic and have outed a few Karens as being fake.
 
2020-07-10 6:57:33 PM  
4 votes:

Outshined_One: Tranquil Hegemony: The real facebook "Karens" are always named Debbie, Linda, or Susan. ALL of them.

The Facebook wypipo hierarchy for women is (mostly) as follows:

Ethel / Christine / Betty - 70+, mostly posts about the grandchildren, pets, and how the government needs to get out of her Medicaid.

Carol / Cheryl / Cathy - 60s-70s, always crops out her granddaughter's black boyfriend from family pictures

Debbie / Linda / Susan - 50s-60s, Karen's gossipy older cousin.  Claims political independence despite voting straight R tickets since the 90s.

Karen / Joann / Beth - 40s-50s, does not see color unless she's dialing 911.

Molly / Mary / Patty - 30s-40s, thinks that her Bob Marley phase in college makes her woke.

Becky / Felicia / Kelly - 20s-30s, frequently brags about that year she volunteered for Americorps in Detroit and how she "gets it".


I hate people who stereotype, but man, you hit the nail on the head. However, Becky is more of a 30s-40s or 40s-50s gal. Kaylee or Cindee would be the 20s-30s.
 
2020-07-10 5:36:03 PM  
4 votes:

Diogenes: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 528x349]

I like how he thinks this is a meaningful observation.


It is, actually, just not in the way he thinks. It's why "there's nothing wrong with me; I feel fine!" is a bloody stupid reason to ignore appropriate precautions.
 
2020-07-10 5:13:25 PM  
4 votes:
Hopefully they didn't get fired for that.
 
2020-07-10 5:08:01 PM  
4 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 513x368]


hahahaha...Forget about the bullet wound in your chest, you REALLY died of a heart attack.
 
2020-07-10 5:01:25 PM  
4 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image image 513x368]


It's true.  100% of deaths are caused by cardiac arrest and cessation of brain functions.  How a person reached that state is irrelevant.  That's just science, libulardos!
 
2020-07-10 7:36:12 PM  
3 votes:

Ed Grubermann: Conthan: Ed Grubermann: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 513x368]

It's not like they attribute automobile fatalities as covid-related, just stuff like pneumonia and other common complications of the damned virus.

My MAGAt co-worker goes on and on about this crap.

My coworkers are more focused on this being a conspiracy by the UN and CIA to disarm Americans. I wish I was kidding. This country has churned out a lot of idiots.

That one doesn't even make sense. That's like saying Christmas is a conspiracy to make toddlers drink whiskey.


So actually those were two different conspiracies. The safety captain at my office was going off about this being a UN conspiracy to disarm Americans a few weeks ago. Today I overheard a conversation at work between two coworkers that went something like "The Chinese create this virus, and now they're making the masks we all buy, I wonder if they made it to sell masks?" to which a coworker responded "well we know the CIA was involved with it  because they want to disarm us". I work with people that love their guns and don't want to wear masks even though it is a requirement (requirements don't really work without enforcement though) now.
 
2020-07-10 7:27:04 PM  
3 votes:

Conthan: Ed Grubermann: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 513x368]

It's not like they attribute automobile fatalities as covid-related, just stuff like pneumonia and other common complications of the damned virus.

My MAGAt co-worker goes on and on about this crap.

My coworkers are more focused on this being a conspiracy by the UN and CIA to disarm Americans. I wish I was kidding. This country has churned out a lot of idiots.


That one doesn't even make sense. That's like saying Christmas is a conspiracy to make toddlers drink whiskey.
 
2020-07-10 7:02:06 PM  
3 votes:
Guys, you don't understand. These people are god fearing christians and anything bad that happens to them is just god testing their faith. They've got to be out there making the most of this life they have been given, not cowering like a bunch godless hellbound heathens. God has plan for them. They don't care if that plan includes rational thinking or self preservation of any kind, apparently.

/you know...morons
 
2020-07-10 6:40:15 PM  
3 votes:

Ed Grubermann: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 513x368]

It's not like they attribute automobile fatalities as covid-related, just stuff like pneumonia and other common complications of the damned virus.

My MAGAt co-worker goes on and on about this crap.


My coworkers are more focused on this being a conspiracy by the UN and CIA to disarm Americans. I wish I was kidding. This country has churned out a lot of idiots.
 
2020-07-10 5:27:35 PM  
3 votes:
Hypoxia kills thousands of people a day and the government refuses to do anything about it!
 
2020-07-10 5:15:08 PM  
3 votes:

ippolit: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image image 513x368]

Based on this logic, HIV isn't fatal at all.


Wouldn't the cause of death in that case be AIDS? HIV is to AIDS as SARS-COV-2 is to COVID-19.

Your point still stands though.
 
2020-07-10 5:13:00 PM  
3 votes:

Tranquil Hegemony: The real facebook "Karens" are always named Debbie, Linda, or Susan. ALL of them.


The Facebook wypipo hierarchy for women is (mostly) as follows:

Ethel / Christine / Betty - 70+, mostly posts about the grandchildren, pets, and how the government needs to get out of her Medicaid.

Carol / Cheryl / Cathy - 60s-70s, always crops out her granddaughter's black boyfriend from family pictures

Debbie / Linda / Susan - 50s-60s, Karen's gossipy older cousin.  Claims political independence despite voting straight R tickets since the 90s.

Karen / Joann / Beth - 40s-50s, does not see color unless she's dialing 911.

Molly / Mary / Patty - 30s-40s, thinks that her Bob Marley phase in college makes her woke.

Becky / Felicia / Kelly - 20s-30s, frequently brags about that year she volunteered for Americorps in Detroit and how she "gets it".
 
2020-07-10 5:03:09 PM  
3 votes:

Soup4Bonnie: facebook should be painful


To me, it is. Why I never joined. I do get to see excerpts pasted from friends into text msgs. There is some serious stupid out there

/I know, I'm so edgy
//Saw that shiat coming a mile away when my wife joined
///She has since left, about 3 years ago and loved the decision
 
2020-07-10 4:59:16 PM  
3 votes:

Soup4Bonnie: facebook should be painful


There's a thought, create a platform where you can post anything you want, no restrictions, but whenever you click the post button, you suffer a mild electric shock.
 
2020-07-10 3:30:46 PM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-11 1:45:40 AM  
2 votes:
Proposal:  All sane people, Democrats, progressives, and people who understand and respect science should just stay home and stop arguing with these idiot conservatives. Avoid them. Don't try to convince them because the cult has spoken and they will not be swayed.

With any luck, if we all protect ourselves and stay away from these assholes as much as possible then perhaps they'll all die off and we can finally progress forward in this nation. I'm sick of trying to help these people. Let them kill themselves off. Fark them. Fark them all. They want to go out and challenge a virus to a battle of wills (and wits)? FINE. LET THEM.

Just protect yourself. If you see one of them approaching run the opposite direction. Stop talking to them. Stop interacting with them. Go On Strike. We won't take care of them anymore.
 
2020-07-10 10:52:25 PM  
2 votes:

Natalie Portmanteau: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image image 513x368]

I like how morons think that people are dying in car accidents and the hospitals are marking them as covid deaths.


People in my Facebook news group keep posting anecdata about some friend-of-a-froend whose grandmother had a heart attack, or stroke, and COVID was put on the death certificate. I'll see multiple variations of that story in any long thread about statistics, numbers, or anything related to masks or the shutdown.

It's always somebody's cousin or neighbor whose grandma got cause of death changed.

Also pushing hard the angle of how some people get retested 3 or 4 times, so our "total" has several people counted multiple times.

These people are being sent very consistently contrarian information and opinions, regarding the value of masks, to name just one example.

Lots of folks claim each hospital gets a huge sackful of money for each and every COVID death, so if the news feed lists a fatal car accident, more than one person will post "Looks like another Covid death!" I have no idea whether hospitals actually get bounties but that is the perception among those who believe this hoaxvirus is just crisis actors making the President look bad.

Of course, those are the most vocal. I tend to see the same names posting the same stuff under each new article, not sure how widespread that belief is held but those talking points sure get pushed hard.
 
2020-07-10 7:45:10 PM  
2 votes:
It's nice to see all these graduates of Dunning-Kruger Medical School.

There's at least one intelligent post among the Facebook comments.
 
2020-07-10 5:28:00 PM  
2 votes:

petec: TheWordGuy: [YouTube video: Channel 5 News: The Musical w/ Lyrics - Bo Burnham - what]

username does not check out


In their defense, this was a video and not  GIF.
 
2020-07-10 5:23:14 PM  
2 votes:
That comment section is still not as big a dumpster fire as Cleveland's football team.
 
2020-07-10 5:08:14 PM  
2 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-10 5:05:14 PM  
2 votes:

toraque: Soup4Bonnie: facebook should be painful

It already is.  Unfortunately, it's just painful for everyone who reads it.


Armchair_Invective: I think we've reached the stupidity singularity, from which rational thoughts cannot escape.


Well, the Rethuglican Party passed the Schwarzschild radius of stupid decades ago, and they made sure to keep cutting schools because that fancy book learnin' is something the libz like, and they gots to stigginit to the libz.
 
2020-07-10 5:02:06 PM  
2 votes:
I think we've reached the stupidity singularity, from which rational thoughts cannot escape.
 
2020-07-10 5:00:41 PM  
2 votes:

geoduck42: Soup4Bonnie: facebook should be painful

There's a thought, create a platform where you can post anything you want, no restrictions, but whenever you click the post button, you suffer a mild electric shock.


mild?  pfffft.
 
2020-07-10 3:24:18 PM  
2 votes:
Noted health expert from Perfectly Posh knows what's up.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-10 8:04:16 PM  
1 vote:

47 is the new 42: ippolit: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image image 513x368]

Based on this logic, HIV isn't fatal at all.

Wouldn't the cause of death in that case be AIDS? HIV is to AIDS as SARS-COV-2 is to COVID-19.

Your point still stands though.


I may be wrong, but isn't AIDS a syndrome caused by HIV?  Its not a separate virus, I don't think.
 
2020-07-10 7:59:19 PM  
1 vote:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image image 513x368]


I like how morons think that people are dying in car accidents and the hospitals are marking them as covid deaths.
 
2020-07-10 7:29:58 PM  
1 vote:

New account just for this: TheWordGuy: [YouTube video: Channel 5 News: The Musical w/ Lyrics - Bo Burnham - what]

This is actually the first time I have "heard" anything by Bo Burnham. Everything I knew from him up til now was from the GIFs posted here, I've been meaning to look him up for quite some time.

I dig this track. Sounds like a hybrid of a Weird Al original crossed with Atom And His Package, with maybe just a pinch of MC Lars. Definitely need to look up more of this guy.


Words, Words, Words and what. are both really good shows. Eighth Grade is a really good movie. Make Happy is... well I'm glad I watched it but it's like he wanted to see how aggressively and explicitly he could work to reject his audience without their abandoning him. It's interesting but not exactly good.
 
2020-07-10 6:56:10 PM  
1 vote:
If you think that's bad, you should check out the Rhodes Scholars over on WLOS ABC13's Facebook page.  Beetween Covid, BLM and the removal of Confederate Statues it's enough to make you want to light yourself on fire.
 
2020-07-10 6:39:01 PM  
1 vote:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-10 6:21:53 PM  
1 vote:

ReluctantLondon: So, which one of you Farkers is this..?

[Fark user image image 604x116]


If it had been me, I would have gone with Four Out of Five Facebook Doctors. So it wasn't me.
 
2020-07-10 6:19:28 PM  
1 vote:

Jesterling: Snatch Bandergrip: They're intentionally spreading misinformation in order to kill their fellow Americans.

Sweet, summer comrade..


Point noted, but it's not like we haven't seen these people exist in real life.
 
2020-07-10 5:44:24 PM  
1 vote:

TheManofPA: Outshined_One: Tranquil Hegemony: The real facebook "Karens" are always named Debbie, Linda, or Susan. ALL of them.

The Facebook wypipo hierarchy for women is (mostly) as follows:

Ethel / Christine / Betty - 70+, mostly posts about the grandchildren, pets, and how the government needs to get out of her Medicaid.

Carol / Cheryl / Cathy - 60s-70s, always crops out her granddaughter's black boyfriend from family pictures

Debbie / Linda / Susan - 50s-60s, Karen's gossipy older cousin.  Claims political independence despite voting straight R tickets since the 90s.

Karen / Joann / Beth - 40s-50s, does not see color unless she's dialing 911.

Molly / Mary / Patty - 30s-40s, thinks that her Bob Marley phase in college makes her woke.

Becky / Felicia / Kelly - 20s-30s, frequently brags about that year she volunteered for Americorps in Detroit and how she "gets it".

Name your kid Kristen or Jennifer, only way to avoid these fates and the pole. Why no, my wife is not near my computer


I have a theory about how the spelling of Kristin, Kristen, Kirstin, Kirsten, Kristyn, Cristyn, and Cristen can be a behavioral predictor.

Why yes, I have a related theory for the -dens (Braden, Brayden, Aiden, etc.)
 
2020-07-10 5:44:23 PM  
1 vote:

SonOfSpam: 47 is the new 42: ippolit: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image image 513x368]

Based on this logic, HIV isn't fatal at all.

Wouldn't the cause of death in that case be AIDS? HIV is to AIDS as SARS-COV-2 is to COVID-19.

Your point still stands though.

AIDS is Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. So it doesn't kill you either, it just makes it easy for anything else to kill you.


Don't know about other states, but in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, our death certificates state "cause of death" and "as a result of" or something like that. So it could say, for example, cause of death: Pneumonia, as a result of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, as a result of Human Immunodeficiency Virus. And then there's a line that can say how long the deceased had whatever disease it was that killed them.
 
2020-07-10 5:28:11 PM  
1 vote:

dababler: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image image 528x349]

He's a cop ?



I picked up an 'essentially a cop..' vibe...


Roger as Frank, the "Essentially" a cop
Youtube l5rGoYpZcls
 
2020-07-10 5:24:36 PM  
1 vote:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-10 5:24:02 PM  
1 vote:

CarnySaur: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [Fark user image 513x368]

I can't stand that "thinking" emoji.  I always picture it being the American Thinker/Potato meme that can't be used here anymore.


You're not alone.
 
2020-07-10 5:19:46 PM  
1 vote:

bluenovaman: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Noted health expert from Perfectly Posh knows what's up.
[Fark user image 553x398]

I emailed that to Perfectly Posh's support to let them know they hired an embarrassment.


Good luck with that. It looks like some kind of pyramid scheme crap like Amway.
 
2020-07-10 5:17:59 PM  
1 vote:
Oh, what a sheltered bubble Channel 5 News lives in, he doesn't mention the self proclaimed experts on Fark.
 
2020-07-10 5:02:24 PM  
1 vote:

TheWordGuy: [YouTube video: Channel 5 News: The Musical w/ Lyrics - Bo Burnham - what]


Since I can only do one video
David Makalaster II
Youtube 0tAhoLtgaeo
 
2020-07-10 5:01:50 PM  
1 vote:

Soup4Bonnie: facebook should be painful


It is.
 
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