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(Fox 5 New York)   "The blue-cheese salad dressing, butter, ground turkey, cans of grain-free dog food, and new toothbrush came to $24.97. Laurie Mahlenbrei handed the cashier a slice of wood marked $25 and walked out with her items in plastic grocery bags"   (fox5ny.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Great Depression, Capitalism, Federal Reserve System, Business cycle, 1930s, first transactions, wooden currency, turn of the 20th century  
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7718 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2020 at 5:20 PM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-07-09 2:33:24 PM  
29 votes:
I was told never to take any wooden nickels.
Never said anything about a $25 plank to me, though.
 
2020-07-09 5:24:26 PM  
26 votes:
I swear, this is the most press I've seen Tenino get in the 25 years I've lived in Washington. On that note, do they have pens to check for counterfeit wooden bills one could make in the shed?
 
2020-07-09 7:55:37 PM  
20 votes:
img.ifunny.coView Full Size
 
2020-07-09 5:27:55 PM  
20 votes:

AbuHashish: I swear, this is the most press I've seen Tenino get in the 25 years I've lived in Washington. On that note, do they have pens to check for counterfeit wooden bills one could make in the shed?


I imagine they use woodchucks in a little bucket at the cash register, to see if it chucks the wood.

If it chucks, it's worth the bucks.
If it sits, it's not fit.
 
2020-07-09 5:22:30 PM  
17 votes:
plastic grocery bag? what year is it!?
 
2020-07-09 5:31:39 PM  
15 votes:

fragMasterFlash: Does the ladies at the local gentlemen's club trade woodies for woodbux?


Only if it's sanded down. Otherwise they get splinters in their panties. And that's...

Fark user imageView Full Size


A rough trade.
 
2020-07-09 3:21:19 PM  
15 votes:
Technically all pieces of paper are slices of wood...

/Yes, I know US paper money is actually made of cloth, not paper
 
2020-07-09 6:43:05 PM  
13 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

/bow-chika-bow-bow
 
2020-07-09 5:56:56 PM  
13 votes:

WilderKWight: Dybbuk Schmybbuk: I hate those stupid, cheap, sloppy plastic bag that dump half the groceries all over the backseat.

You mean the ones Walmart has been using for the past four years?

The other day I bought a quart of juice. Paid for it, got my bag, and walked out the front door. Two steps into the parking lot the back just split open. Nothing sharp in the bag. It wasn't jabbed or cut. It just decided one quart of juice in a plastic container was too heavy for its delicate structure and gave way. The bottle hit the parking lot, bounced once, and then landed cap-downward at an angle. CRACK. The hard plastic cap broke. Juice splashed on my shoes and then gurgled out of the now-ruptured bottle. Before I could bend my arthritic knees down to pick it up, nearly half had poured out.

You can bet I had them give me another one. And double-bag it.

They still made me go through the whole return process, though. I had to wait in line, had to return the broken bottle and then exchange for the new bottle that I had to go back and retrieve from the ass-end of the grocery side of the store (the exact opposite side from my car). Added 20 more minutes to my trip there. For farking juice.


In my grocery bagging days we would intentionally break open a case of beer you purchased as we loaded it into the trunk of your car. Then we would apologize and run and grab a replacement as we hid the broken case behind the soda machine to retrieve later.
 
2020-07-09 5:53:47 PM  
13 votes:

AeAe: The Third Man: Technically all pieces of paper are slices of wood...

/Yes, I know US paper money is actually made of cloth, not paper

Cotton and linen


Blended fabrics are forbidden by the bible.
 
2020-07-09 5:38:47 PM  
13 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


What's the Norton Bucks to Tenino Covid Cash exchange rate?
 
2020-07-09 5:42:39 PM  
10 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Saving up for when we go to war with China
 
2020-07-09 6:18:31 PM  
9 votes:
"Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich."

Ford stared in disbelief at the crowd who were murmuring appreciatively at this and greedily fingering the wads of leaves with which their track suits were stuffed.

"But we have also," continued the management consultant, "run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying one ship's peanut."

Murmurs of alarm came from the crowd. The management consultant waved them down.
"So in order to obviate this problem," he continued, "and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and. . .er, burn down all the forests. I think you'll all agree that's a sensible move under the circumstances."

The crowd seemed a little uncertain about this for a second or two until someone pointed out how much this would increase the value of the leaves in their pockets whereupon they let out whoops of delight and gave the management consultant a standing ovation. The accountants among them looked forward to a profitable autumn aloft and it got an appreciative round from the crowd."
 
2020-07-09 5:30:06 PM  
9 votes:
And ready to make it rain?
10l3q03odwk24ee0t63e3w85-wpengine.netdna-ssl.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-09 6:35:26 PM  
8 votes:
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size


It wouldn't kill you to laugh.
/but 'rona will
//no more mowing the lawn
 
2020-07-09 5:47:15 PM  
8 votes:
They reopened the strip club, but had to close again when the strippers all ended up with severe splinters and minor concussions.
 
2020-07-09 8:24:36 PM  
7 votes:

Foolkiller: What? Where's my change?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-09 7:54:32 PM  
7 votes:

Gordon Bennett: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: alex10294: I think this may actually be illegal, unless they had a depression exemption that never got revoked. How can you have sales tax on something paid for with wood?  Pay the tax in splinters?  Is the $300 taxable income?  If they sell it for more or less do they have to report the profit?  Cool idea though.

Not illegal. It's still backed by US currency, and not printed on it that it's legal tender.

Think Disney dollars, but being used in a small town instead of a Disney Park.

Notes in the UK work that way. Look at the writing at the top.
[cash4coins.co.uk image 850x432]


And you have to be very careful, or you can make her madge very sad D:

66.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-09 6:55:16 PM  
7 votes:
Barkcoin?
 
2020-07-09 6:27:48 PM  
7 votes:
So much for wiping your arse with $100 bills.
 
2020-07-09 5:52:08 PM  
7 votes:

WilderKWight: They reopened the strip club, but had to close again when the strippers all ended up with severe splinters and minor concussions.


Just throw sawdust at them.
 
2020-07-09 5:42:21 PM  
7 votes:
Money does grow on trees.
 
2020-07-09 6:51:45 PM  
6 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

On the bright side, a wealth of literature exists to help identify counterfeit bills.
 
2020-07-09 5:27:47 PM  
6 votes:
Does the ladies at the local gentlemen's club trade woodies for woodbux?
 
2020-07-09 5:37:36 PM  
5 votes:
It can't be used for alcohol, tobacco, or marijuana.

Well that's the last time I go shopping in Tenino, Washington. Also, I live in California and would need a lot of wood chips to fuel my car.
 
2020-07-09 5:44:23 PM  
4 votes:

baronbloodbath: [Fark user image 425x266]

What's the Norton Bucks to Tenino Covid Cash exchange rate?


A buck two eighty to eleventy-seven cents. Get to spending, brother. Your country need you.
 
2020-07-09 6:47:25 PM  
3 votes:
So I  can walk into a grocery store sporting wood
 
2020-07-09 5:34:22 PM  
3 votes:
That'll whittle down their problems...
 
2020-07-09 11:16:58 PM  
2 votes:
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2020-07-09 10:26:12 PM  
2 votes:
That's one weird casserole.
 
2020-07-09 7:38:11 PM  
2 votes:
What? Where's my change?
 
2020-07-09 6:13:14 PM  
2 votes:

chitownmike: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: why the heck doesn't spell check recognize that've?
//sorry but that's been common speech for a long time

Common speech and proper grammar are two different things


I feel like this guy is somehow insulting my grandmother. She may be old but she's perfectly capable of common speech.
 
2020-07-10 1:14:12 AM  
1 vote:

AbuHashish: WilderKWight: They reopened the strip club, but had to close again when the strippers all ended up with severe splinters and minor concussions.

Just throw sawdust at them.


The HJs in that place's VIP room would be horrible
 
2020-07-09 8:32:00 PM  
1 vote:

stray_capts: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: AbuHashish: Isitoveryet: plastic grocery bag? what year is it!?

Despite the bans, a lot of stores have gone back to using them. I get them at Safeway every trip.

See them in Cali a lot still.  We don't take them, as we have our own bags and boxes - they just put shiat back in the cart and we put them in the bags etc. when we get to the car, but yeah they're commonly available now that the pandemic has hit.  Stores don't want to have to interact with containers that've  been sitting in your house/car getting gods know what all over them - and rightfully so.

/why the heck doesn't spell check recognize that've?
//sorry but that's been common speech for a long time
///seems about on par with trying to push no prepositions at the end of a sentence

Prepositions at the end of sentences often sound weird.  I can understand what is being said, but they just sound bad.   Like, "where are you at?". I've never understood the need.  This is t something that makes me lose sleep, though.



The "at" is redundant there, whether it's at the end or not. It should just be "Where are you?"

Better example:

"Which vending machine did you put your wooden nickel into?"
vs
"Into which vending machine did you put your wooden nickel?"

/especially if spoken, many would find the second version needlessly awkward/pretentious
 
2020-07-09 5:45:04 PM  
1 vote:

AbuHashish: Isitoveryet: plastic grocery bag? what year is it!?

Despite the bans, a lot of stores have gone back to using them. I get them at Safeway every trip.


Asked my local Safeway cashier what was up with the plastic bags, she said that all the paper bag factories had switched over to making toilet paper and are slowly switching back to making bags.
I hate those stupid, cheap, sloppy plastic bag that dump half the groceries all over the backseat.
 
2020-07-09 5:28:33 PM  
1 vote:
Big Ricky approves

external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-07-09 5:24:40 PM  
1 vote:

AeAe: The Third Man: Technically all pieces of paper are slices of wood...

/Yes, I know US paper money is actually made of cloth, not paper

Cotton and linen


And previously, butterflies.
 
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