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(The Onion)   Sometimes The Onion is good, and sometimes The Onion is great   (theonion.com) divider line
    More: Satire, President of the United States, Russia, President Donald Trump, Donald Trump, press time, coalition forces, United States, Money  
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9322 clicks; posted to Politics » on 06 Jul 2020 at 7:14 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-07-06 5:11:54 PM  
Donnie and satire don't work well. A person could believe trump has slaughtered American troops for personal profit. See what he did to give Russia American posts in the middle East.
 
2020-07-06 5:21:36 PM  
It's really hard to take that as satire, when the last sentence is cut-paste directly from the Republican excuse list for his handling of COVID-19.
 
2020-07-06 5:48:58 PM  

Driedsponge: It's really hard to take that as satire, when the last sentence is cut-paste directly from the Republican excuse list for his handling of COVID-19.


Plus it's not even remotely plausible.  Trump would never put in that level of effort.
 
2020-07-06 5:51:03 PM  

Diogenes: Driedsponge: It's really hard to take that as satire, when the last sentence is cut-paste directly from the Republican excuse list for his handling of COVID-19.

Plus it's not even remotely plausible.  Trump would never put in that level of effort.


Unless Putin promised him a kickback for every American who died of COVID-19.
 
2020-07-06 6:31:26 PM  
"At press time, Republican lawmakers defended Trump's decision, stating that the president's methods might be unconventional, but collecting bounties placed on the heads of American troops was good for the economy. "

Thank you, Onion.
 
2020-07-06 6:44:20 PM  

Diogenes: Driedsponge: It's really hard to take that as satire, when the last sentence is cut-paste directly from the Republican excuse list for his handling of COVID-19.

Plus it's not even remotely plausible.  Trump would never put in that level of effort.


Nah, what happened is Trump just sold his name to the kills for a portion of the proceeds.
 
2020-07-06 6:45:53 PM  

Diogenes: Driedsponge: It's really hard to take that as satire, when the last sentence is cut-paste directly from the Republican excuse list for his handling of COVID-19.

Plus it's not even remotely plausible.  Trump would never put in that level of effort.


This is a little too on the nose:

It's Too Hot Today
Youtube -XSh8i46W0Q
 
2020-07-06 7:09:27 PM  
that is quite good.

I am actually surprised The Onion is still around. Fox News made satire almost impossible because there was nothing you could say that was crazier than their actual talking points.

I went to UW and miss picking up a physical copy of The Onion at the door of a bar or restaurant. I should have saved those. I got a chance to meet the owner. of the paper and he signed a Jim's Journal book for me. I told him is was so strange to meet him in person. he signed 'charlie, it was very odd to meet you too, JIm'. I like the cut of his jib.
 
2020-07-06 7:20:21 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-06 7:20:58 PM  
Good thing it was labelled as The Onion. And 'satire'
 
2020-07-06 7:21:23 PM  
Milo Minderbinder unavailable for comment.
 
2020-07-06 7:21:53 PM  

chucknasty: that is quite good.

I am actually surprised The Onion is still around. Fox News made satire almost impossible because there was nothing you could say that was crazier than their actual talking points.


They compensated for going into Trumper/Bernie-Bro "humor": Biden "rape" jokes, DNC "fixing-election conspiracy" humor, and the like. They've become so ham-handed that even what I agree with their politics, they're still not funny.

I miss the old Onion. Less spittle, more wit.
 
2020-07-06 7:22:03 PM  

Diogenes: Driedsponge: It's really hard to take that as satire, when the last sentence is cut-paste directly from the Republican excuse list for his handling of COVID-19.

Plus it's not even remotely plausible.  Trump would never put in that level of effort.


This.  Scalpatine doesn't even have the balls to fire someone to their face.  He's too lazy to walk between buildings at a summit.
 
2020-07-06 7:22:43 PM  
Considering what happened to Pat Tillman, how far beyond the realm of possibility is this?
 
2020-07-06 7:23:18 PM  
it's crossed his mind.
guaranteed.
 
2020-07-06 7:23:54 PM  
Pretty sure he'd wear his favorite suit for that outing.


images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-06 7:25:58 PM  
Goddamn.
 
2020-07-06 7:26:10 PM  
When gallows humor is about all you have left ...
 
2020-07-06 7:31:46 PM  
It is a little too real.

I mean, there is a non zero probability that he is getting paid off to cause the deaths of troops.
 
2020-07-06 7:32:06 PM  

Samfucious: When gallows humor is about all you have left ...


The Onion?  I think you will find they have lots of shiat left.
 
2020-07-06 7:33:27 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-06 7:33:32 PM  
Eh, I wouldn't say Onion has done anything great in around a decade, save Kelly the editorial cartoonist which is brilliant and hilarious. The Onion seems less absurdist and more observational these days, which is generally what you find everywhere already.
 
2020-07-06 7:33:42 PM  
This is one of those "how hard do I want to kick the anthill" moments. Much trolling, much sharing
 
2020-07-06 7:38:28 PM  
One well-placed nuke and Trump can pay off his Russian loans.
 
2020-07-06 7:38:58 PM  
Honestly, we're only about 2 news cycles from some variant of this being true. He will profit from this in some way, and we will accept it as inevitable and roll on to the next travesty.
 
2020-07-06 7:40:01 PM  

UNC_Samurai: Diogenes: Driedsponge: It's really hard to take that as satire, when the last sentence is cut-paste directly from the Republican excuse list for his handling of COVID-19.

Plus it's not even remotely plausible.  Trump would never put in that level of effort.

This.  Scalpatine doesn't even have the balls to fire someone to their face.  He's too lazy to walk between buildings at a summit.


"Wrong!"

All we had to do is send in some planes, bomb a few of our bases, and tell the Russians where to send the payment.

All he did was to tell someone else to do it, on the tax payers dime, and then cash the check.
Lazy or not, that's what he calls work.
 
2020-07-06 7:40:24 PM  

edmo: [Fark user image 500x375]


GO TMURP!
 
2020-07-06 7:45:44 PM  
media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-06 7:46:52 PM  

hissatsu: edmo: [Fark user image 500x375]

GO TMURP!


la, la, la la la la, la la la la la...
 
2020-07-06 7:49:59 PM  
130,000 Americans have died so far from the corona virus

Putin pays $100,000.00 per dead American

I think Putin owes Donald Trump $13,000,000,000.00
 
2020-07-06 7:53:46 PM  
Hopefully this isn't foreshadowing.

The Onion has been killing it lately, their Twitter feed is funny as fark.
 
2020-07-06 7:53:53 PM  
Meh! I've seen way better Onion content and somehow Farkers missed this. Now, this should get its own post


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-06 7:54:00 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: Eh, I wouldn't say Onion has done anything great in around a decade, save Kelly the editorial cartoonist which is brilliant and hilarious. The Onion seems less absurdist and more observational these days, which is generally what you find everywhere already.


Nah. The 'Trump as self flagellating tortured artist' article proves they still got it.
https://politics.theonion.com/melania​-​trump-stumbles-upon-dozens-of-husband-​s-hauntin-1819579168
 
2020-07-06 7:58:49 PM  
I've been waiting for this as a "real" news story and the Onion isn't where this one belongs.
 
2020-07-06 8:04:00 PM  

edmo: [Fark user image 500x375]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-06 8:04:25 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-06 8:13:43 PM  

dogdaze: Meh! I've seen way better Onion content and somehow Farkers missed this. Now, this should get its own post


[Fark user image 850x634]


I'm surprised Garrison did not put Hillary in the pic.  I guess he is so sure the Clintons are implicated - he doesn't even think it is necessary to state it.
 
2020-07-06 8:19:55 PM  

Knight without armor: Milo Minderbinder unavailable for comment.


His comment was trash so I tossed it- the bastard used two spaces after every period.
 
2020-07-06 8:23:06 PM  

LizardPeople: 130,000 Americans have died so far from the corona virus

Putin pays $100,000.00 per dead American

I think Putin owes Donald Trump $13,000,000,000.00


We know Putin isn't paying Trump for dead covid-19 victims because Trump would be bragging about the death numbers and inflating them.
 
2020-07-06 8:40:05 PM  

hissatsu: edmo: [Fark user image 500x375]

GO TMURP!


Meak Amrecia Gerat Aigan!
 
2020-07-06 8:41:02 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-06 8:43:01 PM  

JetpackJesus: edmo: [Fark user image 500x375]

[Fark user image image 400x270]


/shakes tiny fist
 
2020-07-06 8:43:21 PM  

Iamos: Diogenes: Driedsponge: It's really hard to take that as satire, when the last sentence is cut-paste directly from the Republican excuse list for his handling of COVID-19.

Plus it's not even remotely plausible.  Trump would never put in that level of effort.

Nah, what happened is Trump just sold his name to the kills for a portion of the proceeds.


and then the casino went bankrupt

/even though the odds are literally (in the true sense of the word)
//in favor of the house
///but yeah, someone else got a cut (laundered some money)
////same as it ever was

Talking Heads - Once in a Lifetime (Official Video)
Youtube 5IsSpAOD6K8
 
2020-07-06 8:46:12 PM  
I was just flipping through "Our Dumb Century" and ran across the story, "Nixon Orders Nation's Youths Arrested".

FTFA: "America's  youths have proven increasingly dangerous to the stability and security of the U.S.  The only safe option is to detain them indefinitely," Nixon said.

The Onion needs to update it and just substitute Trump for Nixon.
 
2020-07-06 8:46:25 PM  

dogdaze: Meh! I've seen way better Onion content and somehow Farkers missed this. Now, this should get its own post


[Fark user image 850x634]


Apparently Ghislaine Maxwell has very unusual breasts.
 
2020-07-06 8:51:23 PM  
yeah but it was probably half scoop on one of his hunting trips
 
2020-07-06 9:03:20 PM  

joemax: Hopefully this isn't foreshadowing.

The Onion has been killing it lately, their Twitter feed is funny as fark.


Wait, so it's not funny?
 
2020-07-06 9:30:57 PM  
Pretty sure they ripped this off of Michael Ian Black on twitter
 
2020-07-06 9:36:57 PM  
The only problem with this is that the thought has occurred to him. To the extent that he probably talked it over with Miller.
 
2020-07-06 9:54:47 PM  

exPFCWintergreen: Knight without armor: Milo Minderbinder unavailable for comment.

His comment was trash so I tossed it- the bastard used two spaces after every period.


Hey!  If two spaces after a period was good enough for my grandpa, it's good enough for me!

/Heritage, not hate...
 
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