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(WJLA Washington DC)   Hold my beer the 4th of July edition   (wjla.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, D.C. Police, Diet, Return of the Saint, Man, firework, head  
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4568 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2020 at 9:36 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



48 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-07-06 8:59:20 AM  
Of course it's my state.  The things are already legal here, what the hell were they building?
 
2020-07-06 9:09:47 AM  

TommyDeuce: Of course it's my state.  The things are already legal here, what the hell were they building?


I wonder how many people where waiting to see their state being in the article.
 
2020-07-06 9:19:10 AM  
That would ruin your day.
 
2020-07-06 9:29:32 AM  
Umanzor was holding a commercially made mortar firework above his head when the base of the object ejected downward after it was ignited.

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Does Newton get credit for the assist?
 
2020-07-06 9:39:56 AM  
Didn't that happen a few new years eves back?
 
2020-07-06 9:40:46 AM  

Merltech: TommyDeuce: Of course it's my state.  The things are already legal here, what the hell were they building?

I wonder how many people where waiting to see their state being in the article.


Woo hoo, I'm a winner!
 
2020-07-06 9:40:59 AM  
Ridiculousness video?
 
2020-07-06 9:43:42 AM  

bearded clamorer: Umanzor was holding a commercially made mortar firework above his head when the base of the object ejected downward after it was ignited.

[Fark user image 425x265]

Does Newton get credit for the assist?


There are so many laws of motion...in the universe.  I can only choose one.  I choose the third.

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2020-07-06 9:43:57 AM  

waxbeans: Didn't that happen a few new years eves back?


It's the same story every New Years and 4th of July. They just change the names and date and call it a day.
 
2020-07-06 9:44:21 AM  
If anyone wants to really celebrate the 4th of July I suggest spending the evening in the ER of your favorite hospital.

I had the chance to experience this when I was around 14 years old and cut my finger (needed 3 stiches) and they rushed me to the ER on 4th of July.

It was quite the sight that night.
 
2020-07-06 9:44:21 AM  
 The words "FRONT TOWARD ENEMY" embossed on the front of the "firecracker" should have been a clue, clueless.


a mortar.

isn't a mortar usually launched from the safety of a bored out hole in a block of pigiron?
 
2020-07-06 9:45:32 AM  
That's not how you use fireworks you silly Concaveman.
 
2020-07-06 9:49:46 AM  
PLACE ON GROUND * LIGHT FUSE * GET AWAY
 
2020-07-06 9:51:50 AM  
"I'll ensure you only make that mistake once."
                            -Charles Darwin
 
2020-07-06 9:52:37 AM  
vudukungfu:

a mortar.

isn't a mortar usually launched from the safety of a bored out hole in a block of pigiron?


A mortar is the tube thing from which it is launched rather than the projectile.    The problem is that fireworks mortars are designed to sit on the ground and point straight up.   That provides the necessary support to get the projectile to shoot upward.   If you hold it off the ground, as this fellow found out, it will just blow the bottom cap off.
 
2020-07-06 9:53:47 AM  

rnatalie: PLACE ON GROUND * LIGHT FUSE * GET AWAY BACK UP TERRY!

 
2020-07-06 9:54:26 AM  
That same fireworks death happens more often then you would think. No one could be that stupid... then you remember it's the USA and the president. Anyone who has lit enough fireworks would tell you those tubes suck, never mid the fact that you shouldn't put them on your head or hold one in any way. Another way idiots die is use PVC or thin metal.
 
2020-07-06 9:54:55 AM  
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2020-07-06 9:55:21 AM  
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2020-07-06 9:55:37 AM  
Sounds like this guy got 100%  Good job!

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2020-07-06 9:56:27 AM  
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2020-07-06 9:57:58 AM  

rnatalie: PLACE ON GROUND * LIGHT FUSE * GET AWAY


Unfortunately one of my friends accidentally added another step, tip over the launcher in the general direction of the people sitting in chairs watching the show. Thankfully it went into the trees about 30 feet to the left of the group and the trees and brush blocked the  embers from hitting the crowd. A little unnerving to say the least.
 
2020-07-06 10:03:14 AM  
Linked story: "A 9-year-old boy suffered a life-changing hand injury while setting off fireworks inside his D.C. home"

How the hell did a kid as stupid and badly supervised as that make it to nine years old?
 
2020-07-06 10:08:28 AM  
I blame the parents of all kids raised after the '60s.   We had quarter-sticks in a quarry when I was 12 or so and hanging out with my no-good teen buddies, and we had enough sense to ensure that the fuse was long enough to safely light said bomb and toss it into said quarry without killing ourselves.
 
2020-07-06 10:15:30 AM  

steklo: If anyone wants to really celebrate the 4th of July I suggest spending the evening in the ER of your favorite hospital.

I had the chance to experience this when I was around 14 years old and cut my finger (needed 3 stiches) and they rushed me to the ER on 4th of July.

It was quite the sight that night.


I'd have a hard time not skipping from person to person, using a catheter as a wand, booping each one on the head while saying, "dumbass."

Boop.  Dumbass.  Boop.  Dumbass.  Boop.  Dumbass.

Had I gone to the ER when I farked up and shortened a finger by 3/8" with a jointer I would have laughed my ass off had someone done that to me.

/It's healing great, lol
//No doctors involved, nothing to sew back on, nothing to stitch together
///Getting a tetanus shot during Covid was surprisingly difficult.
 
2020-07-06 10:18:44 AM  

Stud Gerbil: I blame the parents of all kids raised after the '60s.   We had quarter-sticks in a quarry when I was 12 or so and hanging out with my no-good teen buddies, and we had enough sense to ensure that the fuse was long enough to safely light said bomb and toss it into said quarry without killing ourselves.


Hey now, some of us raised after the 60s were still smart about the explosives we played with. I was born in 1970 and had (limited) access to pre-ban M80s and cherry bombs, as well as access to black powder. The worst thing we ever did was not cause a few flat tires from shrapnel because we never would have taken M80s and covered them in glue and buried in a can of BBs and basically made homemade grenades. Nope, we never did that because that would have been extremely dangerous and foolish!

I must say that I was more than a bit disappointed when some time ago I learned that M80s were not the equivalent of a quarter stick of dynamite. :-( Still, those things could seriously mess you up.
 
2020-07-06 10:19:28 AM  

orbister: Linked story: "A 9-year-old boy suffered a life-changing hand injury while setting off fireworks inside his D.C. home"

How the hell did a kid as stupid and badly supervised as that make it to nine years old?


Lack of supervision?
 
2020-07-06 10:19:42 AM  

Stud Gerbil: I blame the parents of all kids raised after the '60s.   We had quarter-sticks in a quarry when I was 12 or so and hanging out with my no-good teen buddies, and we had enough sense to ensure that the fuse was long enough to safely light said bomb and toss it into said quarry without killing ourselves.


Fire crackers have been illegal here since I was around 15 or so. Being a keen, destructive teen, I got around it by showing all my friends how to make... Essentially "bombs", by drilling a small hole in the bottom of a pill bottle, carefully breaking the glass off a flashlight bulb and soldering a 100' roll of speaker wire to the bulb. Fill the pill bottle with gun powder from opened-up 12 gauge shotgun shells stolen from my dad, the wrap the whole thing with duct tape until it's the size of a softball.

I accidentally blew out a friend's bay window by putting one on the outside window sill, thinking I would scare him. (I did... and worked mowing lawns and selling dew worms for 2 months to pay for the window.

Teenagers... find a way...
 
2020-07-06 10:20:23 AM  
I had a mortar launch and leave a piece of the cardboard in the tube that I somehow didnt notice.  when the next mortar was lit, it blew the bottom off the tube, went into the air like 12 feet and exploded.  luckily no one was anywhere near it.   never made that mistake again.
 
2020-07-06 10:20:37 AM  

Stud Gerbil: I blame the parents of all kids raised after the '60s.   We had quarter-sticks in a quarry when I was 12 or so and hanging out with my no-good teen buddies, and we had enough sense to ensure that the fuse was long enough to safely light said bomb and toss it into said quarry without killing ourselves.


Yeah, but then fireworks were banned because of three stupid dead kids.
 
2020-07-06 10:21:52 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: orbister: Linked story: "A 9-year-old boy suffered a life-changing hand injury while setting off fireworks inside his D.C. home"

How the hell did a kid as stupid and badly supervised as that make it to nine years old?

Lack of supervision?


I missed that...oops.
 
2020-07-06 10:24:17 AM  
Died doing what he loved....being an idiot.  Kinda sad....Thirties you think you'd know a lil better, but......
 
2020-07-06 11:01:46 AM  

justanotherfarkinfarker: That same fireworks death happens more often then you would think. No one could be that stupid... then you remember it's the USA and the president. Anyone who has lit enough fireworks would tell you those tubes suck, never mid the fact that you shouldn't put them on your head or hold one in any way. Another way idiots die is use PVC or thin metal.


Disney went to PVC and fiberglass 20-odd years ago. AFAIK they still use it. But they did that because when the shells prematured in the metal tubes they would blow up 6+ feet of the MK site.
 
2020-07-06 11:04:56 AM  
He must've had the hall pass when class was discussing Newton's law #3. Something, something... equal reaction nonsense.
 
2020-07-06 11:26:46 AM  

Unobtanium: justanotherfarkinfarker: That same fireworks death happens more often then you would think. No one could be that stupid... then you remember it's the USA and the president. Anyone who has lit enough fireworks would tell you those tubes suck, never mid the fact that you shouldn't put them on your head or hold one in any way. Another way idiots die is use PVC or thin metal.

Disney went to PVC and fiberglass 20-odd years ago. AFAIK they still use it. But they did that because when the shells prematured in the metal tubes they would blow up 6+ feet of the MK site.


Hopefully buried in a box of sand?
 
2020-07-06 12:10:16 PM  

Truck Fump: Hopefully buried in a box of sand?


At the MK, when I saw it, the tubes were in steel racks, held up with U-bolts. They guy said that the beauty of that system was that when (not if) a shell prematured in the tube, the tube just disintegrated (the PVC would split, the fiberglass turns into confetti), and little or no damage to anything else, maybe a U-bolt was bent. 

The shows at Disney are all computer run, electrically fired. They monitor the weather (especially wind) and can either cut out shells that go above a certain altitude to make sure the wind doesn't carry them over people, or they can shut down the entire show.
 
2020-07-06 12:23:47 PM  

wruley: rnatalie: PLACE ON GROUND * LIGHT FUSE * GET AWAY

Unfortunately one of my friends accidentally added another step, tip over the launcher in the general direction of the people sitting in chairs watching the show. Thankfully it went into the trees about 30 feet to the left of the group and the trees and brush blocked the  embers from hitting the crowd. A little unnerving to say the least.


Omg.
We had this on thingy, it was the size of half a show box. We lit it. It started firing rockets. The coloured light shoots.
Well, it tipped over, and kept on lunching bust. Each lunch made it spin. Every one was so drunk we didn't even freak out. I was laughing my ass off while kind of trying to avoid getting hit. But, not really. LOL.
 
2020-07-06 12:34:12 PM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: orbister: Linked story: "A 9-year-old boy suffered a life-changing hand injury while setting off fireworks inside his D.C. home"

How the hell did a kid as stupid and badly supervised as that make it to nine years old?

Lack of supervision?

I missed that...oops.


No problem.
 
2020-07-06 12:38:22 PM  

Stud Gerbil: I blame the parents of all kids raised after the '60s.   We had quarter-sticks in a quarry when I was 12 or so and hanging out with my no-good teen buddies, and we had enough sense to ensure that the fuse was long enough to safely light said bomb and toss it into said quarry without killing ourselves.


Baloney. There were always stories about that kid one town over that lost his eye/hand/life. Kids were just as stupid then, there just wasn't the media available to spread every story internationally.
 
2020-07-06 12:40:41 PM  

Unobtanium: Disney went to PVC and fiberglass


Not PVC, it's gotta be HDPE. Looks very similar.
 
2020-07-06 12:46:41 PM  
As someone whose neighbors have been setting off professional grade mortars since mid May, and will likely continue to do so through the end of August, good! I wish some of the dipshiats around here would suffer a similar fate.
 
2020-07-06 12:53:57 PM  

Truck Fump: Hopefully buried in a box of sand?


That's the only way I've seen people sort of safely use pvc, but it's not really done anymore from what I've seen they all use HDPE these days. The pressure cracks PVC like glass.
 
2020-07-06 12:57:47 PM  

NotThatGuyAgain: steklo: If anyone wants to really celebrate the 4th of July I suggest spending the evening in the ER of your favorite hospital.

I had the chance to experience this when I was around 14 years old and cut my finger (needed 3 stiches) and they rushed me to the ER on 4th of July.

It was quite the sight that night.

I'd have a hard time not skipping from person to person, using a catheter as a wand, booping each one on the head while saying, "dumbass."

Boop.  Dumbass.  Boop.  Dumbass.  Boop.  Dumbass.

Had I gone to the ER when I farked up and shortened a finger by 3/8" with a jointer I would have laughed my ass off had someone done that to me.

/It's healing great, lol
//No doctors involved, nothing to sew back on, nothing to stitch together
///Getting a tetanus shot during Covid was surprisingly difficult.


You're a bit disjointed there...
 
2020-07-06 1:23:04 PM  
the real problem here is....

the lack of a video in the article.!

i
hate to think that his life was wasted due to someone not trying to record it.
sometimes you are used as a warning to others.
 
2020-07-06 2:49:02 PM  

LindenFark: Stud Gerbil: I blame the parents of all kids raised after the '60s.   We had quarter-sticks in a quarry when I was 12 or so and hanging out with my no-good teen buddies, and we had enough sense to ensure that the fuse was long enough to safely light said bomb and toss it into said quarry without killing ourselves.

Baloney. There were always stories about that kid one town over that lost his eye/hand/life. Kids were just as stupid then, there just wasn't the media available to spread every story internationally.


No, we were even more stupid then.  There weren't nearly so many of us then.   Our grandparents were just as stupid, but there were fewer of them as well.
 
2020-07-06 3:14:35 PM  

justanotherfarkinfarker: Unobtanium: Disney went to PVC and fiberglass

Not PVC, it's gotta be HDPE. Looks very similar.


Yeah, probably. It was black pipe, not white like PVC, and a few years ago when we were shown this.
 
2020-07-06 4:12:35 PM  

Stud Gerbil: LindenFark: Stud Gerbil: I blame the parents of all kids raised after the '60s.   We had quarter-sticks in a quarry when I was 12 or so and hanging out with my no-good teen buddies, and we had enough sense to ensure that the fuse was long enough to safely light said bomb and toss it into said quarry without killing ourselves.

Baloney. There were always stories about that kid one town over that lost his eye/hand/life. Kids were just as stupid then, there just wasn't the media available to spread every story internationally.

No, we were even more stupid then.  There weren't nearly so many of us then.   Our grandparents were just as stupid, but there were fewer of them as well.


Well, then what exactly are you blaming parents of kids raised after the '60s for?
 
2020-07-06 10:33:02 PM  
Jean Shepherd - "Ludlow Kissel and the Dago Bomb That Struck Back"
Youtube Z4xMYeYOuR8
 
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