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(CNN)   A record number of people will lose a finger this year   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Murica, United States, Chinese exports, Fireworks, consumer fireworks sales, Consumer fireworks, America's sudden obsession, pandemic continues, world's fireworks  
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4779 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2020 at 1:02 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-07-04 8:53:06 AM  
Mostly children, the ignorant and the unlucky.  Not so Csb: worst one I ever saw, more than forty years ago. A boat, full, professionally staged, detonation sequenced and remotely controlled, anchored in the middle of 100 acre lake. Very early on, one of the pyrotechnics misfired. Lit the whole boat and shiat was flying in all directions. Most had no time to react. A fellow high school kid, about 40 ft from where I was, quite a lovely young woman, struck and stuck in the face.  Tragic.  The injuries and property damage costs from this stupid dangerous crap are not worth it. They should not be consumer products.
 
2020-07-04 8:53:54 AM  
Some folks'll never lose a toe, but then again some folks'll

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2020-07-04 10:22:14 AM  
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2020-07-04 10:30:00 AM  
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2020-07-04 10:50:06 AM  
One can only hope so.

/Dog is losing his mind
 
2020-07-04 10:53:59 AM  
Really? We usually have dozens of fireworks vendors, and this year we have one. This is the 1st time in 35 years I haven't purchased fireworks. I don't even have snaps.
 
2020-07-04 11:09:59 AM  
So, finger blasting?
 
2020-07-04 1:00:26 PM  
I'm waiting until the end of the weekend for the sales.  Going to pick up a pile of stuff in the hope I can set it off November 3rd
 
2020-07-04 1:05:26 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: I'm waiting until the end of the weekend for the sales.  Going to pick up a pile of stuff in the hope I can set it off November 3rd


Oh, you can. It's just a matter of: will you set it off in celebration, or as a quick way to suicide?
 
2020-07-04 1:05:45 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: I'm waiting until the end of the weekend for the sales.  Going to pick up a pile of stuff in the hope I can set it off November 3rd


Or the 5th if you feel like trolling the UK
 
2020-07-04 1:07:59 PM  
FTFA - because there's a shortage in supply.  So the record would be fewest?
 
2020-07-04 1:11:11 PM  
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2020-07-04 1:11:43 PM  
Not THIS guy!
 
2020-07-04 1:14:41 PM  
Boogaloo is likely hoarding fireworks to make bombs.
 
2020-07-04 1:15:32 PM  
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2020-07-04 1:15:48 PM  
Not my bird finger!  I use that every day!
 
2020-07-04 1:16:09 PM  
"But imports from China, which supplies more than 90% of the world's fireworks, stalled earlier this year, and industry leaders expect a supply shortage in coming days."

For as long as I can remember, fireworks were "made in China".  Any farkers remember when Nixon went to China, and did we get Chinese fireworks before that?  I remember it being "always", but I didn't have fireworks/couldn't read even a few years after 1972.
 
2020-07-04 1:20:27 PM  
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FIRE CRACKERS THE SILENT KILLER
 
2020-07-04 1:20:56 PM  
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2020-07-04 1:21:08 PM  
Well, it seems that Honor, Duty, and Service are made in China.
 
2020-07-04 1:21:09 PM  

GardenWeasel: Really? We usually have dozens of fireworks vendors, and this year we have one. This is the 1st time in 35 years I haven't purchased fireworks. I don't even have snaps.


How about huskerdos? Huskerdon'ts?
 
2020-07-04 1:22:29 PM  

yet_another_wumpus: For as long as I can remember, fireworks were "made in China".


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2020-07-04 1:26:40 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: I'm waiting until the end of the weekend for the sales.  Going to pick up a pile of stuff in the hope I can set it off November 3rd


Don't expect a winner November 3rd, even if ends up a Biden blowout.

/because the mail in ballots
 
2020-07-04 1:27:59 PM  

Purple_Urkle: Boogaloo is likely hoarding fireworks to make bombs.


Now that's a crowd seriously needing a reduction of digits.
 
2020-07-04 1:28:32 PM  
Sparklers are small welding torches and if they are in the hands of kids are real dangerous. I almost got hit in the eye by a kid waving one around.

The other thing is the small shells have to go in the tube the correct way or its going to explode. They are not
supposed to be held in your hand and thrown. The long fuse burns slow for about 2 seconds and then the rest of it goes in a flash. Drunk person I know had the fuse burn across his palm and then the shell blew up as he dropped it. Ouch.
 
2020-07-04 1:29:12 PM  

GardenWeasel: Really? We usually have dozens of fireworks vendors, and this year we have one. This is the 1st time in 35 years I haven't purchased fireworks. I don't even have snaps.


Meanwhile, in Droughtsville, NM, there's the shipping container/shop on Main Street, the stuff in Walmart, the stuff in the Walmart parking lot, and I think two or three other parking lot vendors throughout town.

Meanwhile, I can't find regular GOEX black powder for my musket anymore.  It's down to one vendor in the state, who sells powder in ten-pound increments.
 
2020-07-04 1:29:21 PM  
 
2020-07-04 1:31:32 PM  
I'm sure everyone will finger out the best course of action. And not let things get blown out of proportion.
 
2020-07-04 1:33:28 PM  
Where the good, finger folks find out what it's like to sit in an emergency room with potential COVID-19 carriers.
 
2020-07-04 1:33:41 PM  

OldRod: Some folks'll never lose a toe, but then again some folks'll

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Came for this, leaving satisfied.
 
2020-07-04 1:34:27 PM  
They can't run out soon enough in my neighborhood.
 
2020-07-04 1:35:42 PM  

12349876: Glockenspiel Hero: I'm waiting until the end of the weekend for the sales.  Going to pick up a pile of stuff in the hope I can set it off November 3rd

Don't expect a winner November 3rd, even if ends up a Biden blowout.

/because the mail in ballots


Yeah, it will take a while for states that are new at the concept.  For the five that have been doing it for years, no problem.
 
2020-07-04 1:35:44 PM  
I didn't buy any this year, I usually have a decent display with multiple Mortars' set w/delays. My neighbors in the area must have spent a LOT of Money, they were firing stuff off for a couple hours last night.

Instead i bought myself a new Mower.
Sent my wife to go pick it up from Menards (won't fit in my little Crossfire)
she called telling me they don't sell that brand.
Long Story short....I asked the Lowes employee to send my wife across the road to Menards.
 
2020-07-04 1:36:34 PM  
Running out of fireworks? How un-American. Let me go pick up my eyes, since they rolled so damn hard they fell out of my head.

Outside of the town fireworks, Darwin's favorite holiday can go fark the hell off. For most, this holiday has no other real significance than yet another excuse to drink all day and blow shiat up.
 
2020-07-04 1:38:34 PM  
I guess they'll be smugly throwing up "the shocker" while blowing their dog whistles from now on.
 
2020-07-04 1:41:32 PM  
Michael Bay is both aroused and inconsolable at this news.
 
2020-07-04 1:44:19 PM  
 
2020-07-04 1:44:35 PM  
i lived in china for a long time. they love their fireworks around spring festival. also a very busy time for hospitals as people come in with burns, missing fingers and eyes. fun times
 
2020-07-04 1:47:21 PM  
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2020-07-04 1:51:03 PM  
Yes, fireworks come from China, except those made in Murfreesboro... but that factory blew up several years ago.

We could buy anything in San Francisco's Chinatown when we were kids. We'd all get together in a backyard and blow up old toys. Then we learned how to make a tin can rocket -- get two cans, one fits inside the other, drill a hole the size of a firecracker in the inside can and insert the firecracker. Fill the outside can half full of water, put the inside can in it, and light it. The can would go 50 feet in the air.

We graduated to making our own rockets. The inserts in ball-point pens used to be made of metal. We would take an empty one and fill it with stuff that we scraped off of matchheads. We'd also use bigger metal tubes when we had one.

Nobody ever lost a finger. There was very little property damage and no fires. The worst incident I remember
was when a guy lit a barrel bomb
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aka M-80 and threw it into a muddy pond as hard as he could. He got most of the mud on him, but we all got a little bit.
 
2020-07-04 1:51:31 PM  
When you work for the Yakuza...
 
2020-07-04 1:51:51 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: I'm waiting until the end of the weekend for the sales.  Going to pick up a pile of stuff in the hope I can set it off November 3rd


Hate to break it to you, but we may not know who won for several days after the 3rd, especially if there are a lot of mail-in ballots
 
2020-07-04 1:56:10 PM  
WastrelWay:
We graduated to making our own rockets. The inserts in ball-point pens used to be made of metal. We would take an empty one and fill it with stuff that we scraped off of matchheads.

Come to think of it, matches should probably be banned.
 
2020-07-04 1:56:55 PM  

puzzled: How about a bottle rocket in the neck?


"Liquor bottles and debris from illegal fireworks was strewn ..."

"Was"? Shouldn't that be "were"?
 
2020-07-04 1:57:59 PM  

Sushi and the Banshees: OldRod: Some folks'll never lose a toe, but then again some folks'll

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Came for this, leaving satisfied.


Not me.  Folk'll!   FOLK'LL!!  Rhymes with yokel.
 
2020-07-04 1:58:52 PM  

nitropissering: [Fark user image 850x388]


The fuses on stuff like that always struck me as pretty inadequate.

/CSB: Came across these two kids trying to light one and throw it in a fountain many, many years ago. They were too cautious to get it to happen. I, being half- mad and half in the bag, said, "Give that here!" They did, and I held my lighter up to the fuse, flinging it into the fountain at the first sign of ignition. I got about a step and a half away, there was a great roar, and the fountain emptied, drenching me in filthy water.
 
2020-07-04 2:01:22 PM  

rebelyell2006: GardenWeasel: Really? We usually have dozens of fireworks vendors, and this year we have one. This is the 1st time in 35 years I haven't purchased fireworks. I don't even have snaps.

Meanwhile, in Droughtsville, NM, there's the shipping container/shop on Main Street, the stuff in Walmart, the stuff in the Walmart parking lot, and I think two or three other parking lot vendors throughout town.

Meanwhile, I can't find regular GOEX black powder for my musket anymore.  It's down to one vendor in the state, who sells powder in ten-pound increments.


Do you need that musket to feel safe? I bet you are just compensating for your small penis.
How many kids need to die before you can give up your toy?
Racist redneck hatebreeder.
Ban all muskets
 
2020-07-04 2:04:53 PM  

Doctor Poop: rebelyell2006: I can't find regular GOEX black powder for my musket anymore.  It's down to one vendor in the state, who sells powder in ten-pound increments.

Do you need that musket to feel safe? I bet you are just compensating for your small penis.
How many kids need to die before you can give up your toy?
Racist redneck hatebreeder.
Ban all muskets


( -_< )  Not sure if serious...?

Let 'em play with muskets if they want to. You won't get any mass shootings from a musket.
 
2020-07-04 2:05:38 PM  
1 - We're in the middle of a pandemic that starts in the respiratory system.
2 - Fireworks burn toxic chemicals and have basically no regulation other than maximum boom or equivalent.
3 - ??
4 - Die coughing! With fewer fingers!
 
2020-07-04 2:05:40 PM  

OldRod: Glockenspiel Hero: I'm waiting until the end of the weekend for the sales.  Going to pick up a pile of stuff in the hope I can set it off November 3rd

Hate to break it to you, but we may not know who won for several days after the 3rd, especially if there are a lot of mail-in ballots


I'm hoping they start counting the mail-ins as soon as they get them.
If this thing is close I'm calling BS.
But that won't help

-drink-
 
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