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(NASCAR)   The first NASCAR driver to report positive for COVID-19 is Jimmie Johnson. The Nasfark Idol is out of control, people   (nascar.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Jimmie Johnson, Sprint Cup Series, Jeff Gordon, Hendrick Motorsports, Seven-time NASCAR Cup Series, Johnson's return, 44-year-old driver, driver of the No.  
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201 clicks; posted to Sports » on 03 Jul 2020 at 10:45 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



29 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-07-03 7:26:48 PM  
The Berne Conventions of 2001 clearly states that chemical and biological weapons are forbidden.

Nuclear weapons and/or orbital strikes are permitted by Sec 2001.1.2.48(3).   Chemical lasers and railguns are acceptable under Addendum 22 of Sec 2011.2.22(18) of the 2011 Agreement.
 
2020-07-03 7:36:38 PM  
This was inevitable.  Whatever precautions NASCAR is using work, but aren't perfect.  WWE has sick talent.  The NBA is going to get all kinds of sick at Disney World.  MLB has to practice social distancing in the dugout?  I feel like I'm going in ovals here.
 
2020-07-03 7:43:17 PM  
A couple of races ago they made a point to show Johnson's special precautions to handle his own gear and not touch any body's self... guess that didn't work out very well.
 
2020-07-03 8:08:48 PM  
Get well soon, He Who Shall Not Be Named.  663 consecutive races is impressive, I admit.  NASFARK mocks you and your turboencabulator and the way rules bent for you for so long, but we acknowledge your skills - you can cheat hell out of the car, but someone still has to put it in a position to win the race.

Get well soon and come back so we can snark you for the rest of your final season.

/ed. note: I keep the pins for my complimentary #48 voodoo doll in 70% isopropyl.
 
2020-07-03 8:22:38 PM  

foo monkey: This was inevitable.  Whatever precautions NASCAR is using work, but aren't perfect.  WWE has sick talent.  The NBA is going to get all kinds of sick at Disney World.  MLB has to practice social distancing in the dugout?  I feel like I'm going in ovals here.


How do you social distance on a hockey bench, too...

Yeah, I'm wondering if they're going to try and test everyone in the garages now  Scary stuff indeed
 
2020-07-03 8:30:49 PM  

technomuse: foo monkey: This was inevitable.  Whatever precautions NASCAR is using work, but aren't perfect.  WWE has sick talent.  The NBA is going to get all kinds of sick at Disney World.  MLB has to practice social distancing in the dugout?  I feel like I'm going in ovals here.

How do you social distance on a hockey bench, too...

Yeah, I'm wondering if they're going to try and test everyone in the garages now  Scary stuff indeed


I heard they were testing everyone when they came on-site.
 
2020-07-03 8:38:45 PM  

foo monkey: technomuse: foo monkey: This was inevitable.  Whatever precautions NASCAR is using work, but aren't perfect.  WWE has sick talent.  The NBA is going to get all kinds of sick at Disney World.  MLB has to practice social distancing in the dugout?  I feel like I'm going in ovals here.

How do you social distance on a hockey bench, too...

Yeah, I'm wondering if they're going to try and test everyone in the garages now  Scary stuff indeed

I heard they were testing everyone when they came on-site.


I am legit giggling here at the idea of an IMS Yellow Shirt giving a Covid test. It would need to involve whistles and withering glares, though
 
2020-07-03 8:39:25 PM  

Mztlplx: Get well soon, He Who Shall Not Be Named.  663 consecutive races is impressive, I admit.  NASFARK mocks you and your turboencabulator and the way rules bent for you for so long, but we acknowledge your skills - you can cheat hell out of the car, but someone still has to put it in a position to win the race.

Get well soon and come back so we can snark you for the rest of your final season.

/ed. note: I keep the pins for my complimentary #48 voodoo doll in 70% isopropyl.


GOD DAMN IT! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE 90%
 
2020-07-03 9:01:57 PM  

baka-san: Mztlplx: Get well soon, He Who Shall Not Be Named.  663 consecutive races is impressive, I admit.  NASFARK mocks you and your turboencabulator and the way rules bent for you for so long, but we acknowledge your skills - you can cheat hell out of the car, but someone still has to put it in a position to win the race.

Get well soon and come back so we can snark you for the rest of your final season.

/ed. note: I keep the pins for my complimentary #48 voodoo doll in 70% isopropyl.

GOD DAMN IT! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE 90%


Hell no, I *drink* the 90%!
 
2020-07-03 9:10:07 PM  
Just looked at the forecast for tomorrow and Sunday's races. 90+ and humid at Indy is going to be hell on the drivers  but to add in an east wind? That's going to be weird.

Indy usually has wind from the west or south. Occasionally north in the winter or after a major cold front. East winds are very unusual for the area.
 
2020-07-03 9:24:41 PM  

Mztlplx: baka-san: Mztlplx: Get well soon, He Who Shall Not Be Named.  663 consecutive races is impressive, I admit.  NASFARK mocks you and your turboencabulator and the way rules bent for you for so long, but we acknowledge your skills - you can cheat hell out of the car, but someone still has to put it in a position to win the race.

Get well soon and come back so we can snark you for the rest of your final season.

/ed. note: I keep the pins for my complimentary #48 voodoo doll in 70% isopropyl.

GOD DAMN IT! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE 90%

Hell no, I *drink* the 90%!


I stand corrected.
 
2020-07-03 9:25:36 PM  

technomuse: Just looked at the forecast for tomorrow and Sunday's races. 90+ and humid at Indy is going to be hell on the drivers  but to add in an east wind? That's going to be weird.

Indy usually has wind from the west or south. Occasionally north in the winter or after a major cold front. East winds are very unusual for the area.


Penske probably realigned the altar to Gurathnaka underneath the pagoda when he bought the track.  That, and I'm pretty sure that the Eater of Dreams needs more Andrettis than just Marco to feed from.
 
2020-07-03 10:03:20 PM  

Mztlplx: Get well soon, He Who Shall Not Be Named.  663 consecutive races is impressive, I admit.  NASFARK mocks you and your turboencabulator and the way rules bent for you for so long, but we acknowledge your skills - you can cheat hell out of the car, but someone still has to put it in a position to win the race.

Get well soon and come back so we can snark you for the rest of your final season.

/ed. note: I keep the pins for my complimentary #48 voodoo doll in 70% isopropyl.


All of this!

I also noted the official NASFARK Idol Twitter went into a temporary shutdown.  We don't like him or Cheat Knaus because of the cheating, but we don't want this to happen to anyone.

/Well, maybe Horsie
 
2020-07-03 10:15:34 PM  
Question:  Are we ok if Justin Allgaier wins in the 48?  I think that could be soul crushing to have had available a winning car but have been unable to drive it.  It may be soul crushing.
 
2020-07-03 10:48:54 PM  

Daedalus27: Question:  Are we ok if Justin Allgaier wins in the 48?  I think that could be soul crushing to have had available a winning car but have been unable to drive it.  It may be soul crushing.


Further question:  do we actually ROOT for the 48?  The last time that happened, we went full Ace Ventura.
 
2020-07-03 11:10:17 PM  

Daedalus27: Question:  Are we ok if Justin Allgaier wins in the 48?  I think that could be soul crushing to have had available a winning car but have been unable to drive it.  It may be soul crushing.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-03 11:28:32 PM  
I thought last year was his last year.
 
2020-07-03 11:53:00 PM  

bluorangefyre: Daedalus27: Question:  Are we ok if Justin Allgaier wins in the 48?  I think that could be soul crushing to have had available a winning car but have been unable to drive it.  It may be soul crushing.

Further question:  do we actually ROOT for the 48?  The last time that happened, we went full Ace Ventura.


I think we kind of do root for it.  The chaos would be enormous, plus a first time victory is always fun.

foo monkey: Daedalus27: Question:  Are we ok if Justin Allgaier wins in the 48?  I think that could be soul crushing to have had available a winning car but have been unable to drive it.  It may be soul crushing.

[Fark user image 300x280] [View Full Size image _x_]


Exactly, that would make it even worse for Jimmie Johnson.  A nobody wins in his car depriving him one of the last chances for a win.  It is really twisting the knife.
 
2020-07-04 1:11:53 AM  
This link should really have a "Sick" tag
 
2020-07-04 1:22:06 AM  

Daedalus27: bluorangefyre: Daedalus27: Question:  Are we ok if Justin Allgaier wins in the 48?  I think that could be soul crushing to have had available a winning car but have been unable to drive it.  It may be soul crushing.

Further question:  do we actually ROOT for the 48?  The last time that happened, we went full Ace Ventura.

I think we kind of do root for it.  The chaos would be enormous, plus a first time victory is always fun.

foo monkey: Daedalus27: Question:  Are we ok if Justin Allgaier wins in the 48?  I think that could be soul crushing to have had available a winning car but have been unable to drive it.  It may be soul crushing.

[Fark user image 300x280] [View Full Size image _x_]

Exactly, that would make it even worse for Jimmie Johnson.  A nobody wins in his car depriving him one of the last chances for a win.  It is really twisting the knife.


Hasn't Wallgaier already had a shot with a big team and blown it?  Why not put Tim-may or Smithley in it?
 
2020-07-04 2:03:39 AM  

foo monkey: technomuse: foo monkey: This was inevitable.  Whatever precautions NASCAR is using work, but aren't perfect.  WWE has sick talent.  The NBA is going to get all kinds of sick at Disney World.  MLB has to practice social distancing in the dugout?  I feel like I'm going in ovals here.

How do you social distance on a hockey bench, too...

Yeah, I'm wondering if they're going to try and test everyone in the garages now  Scary stuff indeed

I heard they were testing everyone when they came on-site.


Must be nice...

https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/​l​ocal/arizona-health/2020/07/03/second-​free-coronavirus-testing-smcc-phoenix/​5373504002/

https://www.al.com/news/2020/07/long-​l​ines-as-alabama-cities-see-new-demand-​for-coronavirus-testing.html

https://www.tampabay.com/news/health/​2​020/07/02/qa-on-covid-19-testing-long-​lines-far-off-appointments-and-delays-​in-results/
 
2020-07-04 3:14:39 AM  
I'd just like to take a moment to say...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH​AH​AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Shoulda retired last year, Jimmie!
 
2020-07-04 4:26:48 AM  
Wait.  If JJ sits out for three weeks to get healthy, then wins a race, gets into the Chase, and wins the Cup, will he be the first 7 2/3-time winner?
 
2020-07-04 6:19:10 AM  

Torgo_of_Manos: A couple of races ago they made a point to show Johnson's special precautions to handle his own gear and not touch any body's self... guess that didn't work out very well.


Johnson was tested after his wife tested positive. So it looks like Johnson wasn't handling his in this own gear and not touching anyone else's at home.

I can't believe I'm sticking up for NASCAR, but if no one else on the crew tests positive, then NASCAR's procedures worked.
 
2020-07-04 9:18:56 AM  

foo monkey: Wait.  If JJ sits out for three weeks to get healthy, then wins a race, gets into the Chase, and wins the Cup, will he be the first 7 2/3-time winner?


Nah, I'm in the camp that if you miss a chunk of a season for legitimate reasons but STILL have the goods to win it all, it counts. I think those that want to put an asterisk by Kyle Busch's championship for this reason are being silly.
 
2020-07-04 9:53:50 AM  

Daedalus27: Question:  Are we ok if Justin Allgaier wins in the 48?  I think that could be soul crushing to have had available a winning car but have been unable to drive it.  It may be soul crushing.


Being a Allgaier fan, I'd love it. But it will feel very weird pulling for the 48
 
2020-07-04 9:55:35 AM  

Torgo_of_Manos: A couple of races ago they made a point to show Johnson's special precautions to handle his own gear and not touch any body's self... guess that didn't work out very well.


He got it from Mrs HWSNBN, I suspect they weren't social distancing the same way he was at the track
 
2020-07-04 3:05:16 PM  

Daedalus27: bluorangefyre: Daedalus27: Question:  Are we ok if Justin Allgaier wins in the 48?  I think that could be soul crushing to have had available a winning car but have been unable to drive it.  It may be soul crushing.

Further question:  do we actually ROOT for the 48?  The last time that happened, we went full Ace Ventura.

I think we kind of do root for it.  The chaos would be enormous, plus a first time victory is always fun.

foo monkey: Daedalus27: Question:  Are we ok if Justin Allgaier wins in the 48?  I think that could be soul crushing to have had available a winning car but have been unable to drive it.  It may be soul crushing.

[Fark user image 300x280] [View Full Size image _x_]

Exactly, that would make it even worse for Jimmie Johnson.  A nobody wins in his car depriving him one of the last chances for a win.  It is really twisting the knife.


You Shut your Whore Mouth.
Justin is not a Nobody.

GO JUSTIN!!!!
 
2020-07-04 5:34:30 PM  

foo monkey: Daedalus27: Question:  Are we ok if Justin Allgaier wins in the 48?  I think that could be soul crushing to have had available a winning car but have been unable to drive it.  It may be soul crushing.

[Fark user image image 300x280]


You know..."Wall Guy R."
 
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