Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Twitter)   The English language is officially dead   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Sad, shot  
•       •       •

8325 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2020 at 2:05 AM (21 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



342 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2020-07-03 4:42:07 AM  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-03 4:42:43 AM  

jefferator: aerojockey: I can't think of a single time I've ever heard someone say "irregardless" non-ironically.

LOL I was conducting a very high level meeting with two major corporations the guy who was an Exec VP from HP - who reported to Carly Forina  - used the word 6 times.  We all held our breath, emotions and disdain very professionally.  When we broke from the meeting we all just laughed our asses off...... The guy was a tool.  End of the day........Look what happened to HP.  My Company - Cisco, was good to go (At the time)......


Oh my God I so wish I had gotten my Cisco certification
 
2020-07-03 4:44:47 AM  

waxbeans: jefferator: aerojockey: I can't think of a single time I've ever heard someone say "irregardless" non-ironically.

LOL I was conducting a very high level meeting with two major corporations the guy who was an Exec VP from HP - who reported to Carly Forina  - used the word 6 times.  We all held our breath, emotions and disdain very professionally.  When we broke from the meeting we all just laughed our asses off...... The guy was a tool.  End of the day........Look what happened to HP.  My Company - Cisco, was good to go (At the time)......

Oh my God I so wish I had gotten my Cisco certification


If you can handle COBOL several states would love to hire you to fix their unemployment software issues. Nice talking. Night.
 
2020-07-03 4:45:15 AM  

baron von doodle: waxbeans: baron von doodle: Ganon D. Mire: baron von doodle: CrazyCurt: What needs to be understood is the English language is "The Borg". It is! It assimilates and changes to the whims and tastes of the era. Kindergarten is a German word but we English speakers know what it is. Mayonnaise? I can't even spell it right w/o spellcheckers and it's as American as Mayonnaise Pie ( seriously I failed twice -- I don't eat it much ). This absurd language gobbles up anything that fits, sounds cool or makes you laugh at the drop of a hat. I think English is the best language there is because it's a bit of every language.

/ We Are The Borg!

Well, yes, American English does the same thing to other languages that we do to food. We steal it, Americanize it and generally ruin the original intention.

[Fark user image image 850x332]
Don't go looking for logic in language.

Or American food.
[Fark user image image 425x425]

It's so disturbing to learn that this is mostly oil

And very old. 1918.


Oh my God it's a health food?
LOL
 
2020-07-03 4:46:00 AM  

waxbeans: I've never understood that rule


Parentheses and periods can be tricky to navigate (but not impossible).

It's about intuitive sentence rhythm, and knowing when something in parentheses should be self-contained and exist on its own.  (Some people might scoff at this, but it's true.)
 
2020-07-03 4:47:22 AM  

Abacus9: Wikipedia says I'm right: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decimati​on_(Roman_army)


And further down the page
In the Russian Civil War, Leon Trotsky as leader of the Red Army ordered decimation for deserters.[20]
 
2020-07-03 4:49:27 AM  

waxbeans: Abacus9: waxbeans: baron von doodle: waxbeans: Abacus9: waxbeans: Snapper Carr: Language evolves as its speakers change.  The word "irregardless" becomes common parlance, linguists are going to take note - eventually it ends up in the dictionary.

This is how language works.

Latin is dead.  It is unchanging.  No one speaks it outside of jargon from a handful of academic fields.

Exactly.

/
To all the teachers who say ain't isn't a word,
You should say yet.
U cu*nts.

Well, who used to.

"Ain't" is a word, and it's in the dictionary, too. None of my English teachers ever said otherwise.

I'm 46.
When I was in school the teachers were 60 years old.
At least to my eyes.
I'm sure that one English teacher was 30 or 40.
But yeah, I'm still thinking about when I was in school.
Grade school.
1979.

Fact of the matter is it was racism.

Qua? Ain't is racist?

I'm talking about when I was in school in 1979.

Fat, white, (and sometimes old)  ladies was very insistent that ain't wasn't a word they got God darn ambivalent about it.
I'm convinced it was racism.

That would have been around Kindergarten, right? They also probably told you that your tongue had only four taste receptors, located on different parts of your tongue. Have you not figured out by now that it was all a lie?

I've been getting that feeling for at least 20 years.

About this and many other things.
the interesting thing is people are still holding on to those lies and being insistent about them.


Thank Xenu for Fark then! Farkers will correct any misconception, even if it's true! (I'm not really a Scientologist). Seriously though, I have learned quite a few things here over the years. Fark is smarter than your average site.
 
2020-07-03 4:50:14 AM  

Abacus9: Not at all, on the contrary even. I've said over and over on this site (just the other day in fact) that the purpose of language is to convey meaning; to understand and to be understood. Whatever language you use to this purpose is just fine if it works. However, I will correct grammar nazis if they make a mistake, in order to show their hypocrisy, and I will occasionally point out the stupidity of a word like "inflammable" which could cause confusion because it's not what it sounds like. Otherwise, I don't correct bad grammar, because everyone makes mistakes. "Irregardless" is a stupid word because it's "regardless" works just fine. Maybe not wrong, but still stupid (inefficient). And while I don't go around saying "y'all", I don't correct people for it. There's nothing to correct.


Cool.
😁
 
2020-07-03 4:50:55 AM  

baron von doodle: waxbeans: in flagrante: Abacus9: How the fark would I know, I was just correcting someone else's misspelling (again, to screw over hypocrites, not because I care about this shiat.)

Technically, that last period should be placed outside your closing parentheses.

I've never understood that rule to me everything that belongs inside the (belongs inside the) because it's inside the prison seas


For some reason text to voice added those ()()()

Damn you. I was going to bed. What is the proper punctuation after an emoji or emoticon?
Hi 😁
Hi :D


Hell if I know
😁😆
 
2020-07-03 4:51:25 AM  

baron von doodle: I still prefer emoticons. I'm oldish.


❤❤
 
2020-07-03 4:52:08 AM  

baron von doodle: waxbeans: jefferator: aerojockey: I can't think of a single time I've ever heard someone say "irregardless" non-ironically.

LOL I was conducting a very high level meeting with two major corporations the guy who was an Exec VP from HP - who reported to Carly Forina  - used the word 6 times.  We all held our breath, emotions and disdain very professionally.  When we broke from the meeting we all just laughed our asses off...... The guy was a tool.  End of the day........Look what happened to HP.  My Company - Cisco, was good to go (At the time)......

Oh my God I so wish I had gotten my Cisco certification

If you can handle COBOL several states would love to hire you to fix their unemployment software issues. Nice talking. Night.


🌘
 
2020-07-03 4:53:28 AM  

in flagrante: waxbeans: I've never understood that rule

Parentheses and periods can be tricky to navigate (but not impossible).

It's about intuitive sentence rhythm, and knowing when something in parentheses should be self-contained and exist on its own.  (Some people might scoff at this, but it's true.)


FML.

Why didn't I see that?
Now it makes sense.
Okay.
 
2020-07-03 4:54:02 AM  

in flagrante: waxbeans: I've never understood that rule

Parentheses and periods can be tricky to navigate (but not impossible).

It's about intuitive sentence rhythm, and knowing when something in parentheses should be self-contained and exist on its own.  (Some people might scoff at this, but it's true.)


Wait is just like making HTML containers.
 
2020-07-03 4:55:50 AM  

waxbeans: Abacus9: Also had a hit with "Relish".

Oh my gosh so that means I can say I relish the hell out of relish


What about "Hollandaise Swinging"?
 
2020-07-03 4:55:57 AM  

Abacus9: Thank Xenu for Fark then! Farkers will correct any misconception, even if it's true! (I'm not really a Scientologist). Seriously though, I have learned quite a few things here over the years. Fark is smarter than your average site.


Is that a high bar? 😆
 
2020-07-03 4:57:58 AM  

Abacus9: waxbeans: Abacus9: Also had a hit with "Relish".

Oh my gosh so that means I can say I relish the hell out of relish

What about "Hollandaise Swinging"?


I don't think so.
 
2020-07-03 5:00:48 AM  

in flagrante: Abacus9: How the fark would I know, I was just correcting someone else's misspelling (again, to screw over hypocrites, not because I care about this shiat.)

Technically, that last period should be placed outside your closing parentheses.


Yes, I know. But more importantly:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5FfJ​8​9rGPc
 
2020-07-03 5:01:37 AM  
Irregardless is just as good a word as normalcy.  It's a perfectly cromulent word.
 
Al!
2020-07-03 5:03:11 AM  

dkulprit: Can someone please show me the words tree where the words grow naturally and we harvest them to add to the dictionary so they are now officially words?

Words meanings get changed over time.

Words get created all the time irregardless of what you think.

Did you know you Shakespeare personally brought 500 words into the lexicon?  We add words here and there randomly after they have become used so often that they become words, but 1 guy, in his lifetime, brought 500 words into the lexicon.

Critics of this would hate him.  He brought "swagger", "lonely", "hint", and "critic" into the language just by using them in his plays.


Shakespeare can fub off. He stabbed pies with his hundred mark while I sewed dates in the porridge on his sister's table.

/I'm probably not doing this right
 
2020-07-03 5:06:54 AM  

baron von doodle: Abacus9: baron von doodle: CrazyCurt: What needs to be understood is the English language is "The Borg". It is! It assimilates and changes to the whims and tastes of the era. Kindergarten is a German word but we English speakers know what it is. Mayonnaise? I can't even spell it right w/o spellcheckers and it's as American as Mayonnaise Pie ( seriously I failed twice -- I don't eat it much ). This absurd language gobbles up anything that fits, sounds cool or makes you laugh at the drop of a hat. I think English is the best language there is because it's a bit of every language.

/ We Are The Borg!

Well, yes, American English does the same thing to other languages that we do to food. We steal it, Americanize it and generally ruin the original intention.

So you're saying we eat it, turn it to shiat, and shiat it for others? Yes. And that's fine. Languages change. English is probably the worst offender, but it's such a rich language for it (because it's a thief). But it's a good thief because it doesn't take away from the other languages.

I didn't mean turn it to shiat. Umm. Homoginazition is a better term. The world has tons of great cheeses. We have American cheese slices and Velveeta.


I worked in a preclinical research lab. Homogenization meant blending (in an actual blender) dog or sometimes rat feces with water and methanol. Some coworkers had to work with brain or urine. So regardless of either of our intentions, perhaps we can agree that the English is at least some percentage shiat/shiate.
 
2020-07-03 5:12:07 AM  

Abacus9: I worked in a preclinical research lab. Homogenization meant blending (in an actual blender) dog or sometimes rat feces with water and methanol. Some coworkers had to work with brain or urine. So regardless of either of our intentions, perhaps we can agree that the English is at least some percentage shiat/shiate.


Yuk
🤮
 
2020-07-03 5:13:46 AM  

waxbeans: So my birthday is all 7s.


My wife likes to brag that her birthday is all odd numbers. I like to reminder her that the odd only begins there (lovingly of course, I would die/kill for her).
 
2020-07-03 5:14:50 AM  

Abacus9: waxbeans: So my birthday is all 7s.

My wife likes to brag that her birthday is all odd numbers. I like to reminder her that the odd only begins there (lovingly of course, I would die/kill for her).


😁
 
2020-07-03 5:17:01 AM  

jefferator: Also......the first time I said that word at age 12 ....My father, a professor at Stanford University, slapped me upside the head and explained how it wasn't a word.  Yes, he physically slapped me upside the head - with force........ best English lesson I ever had.


I'm sorry your dad's a dick, I'd offer you a beer, but I don't have any. You ok now?
 
2020-07-03 5:22:20 AM  

Mitt Romneys Tax Return: i ignore u: Well yeah, for all intensive porpoises.

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

Chomping at the bit


That'll do your teeth in.
 
2020-07-03 5:23:43 AM  
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Word Crimes
Youtube 8Gv0H-vPoDc
 
2020-07-03 5:25:31 AM  

waxbeans: in flagrante: Abacus9: How the fark would I know, I was just correcting someone else's misspelling (again, to screw over hypocrites, not because I care about this shiat.)

Technically, that last period should be placed outside your closing parentheses.

I've never understood that rule to me everything that belongs inside the (belongs inside the) because it's inside the prison seas


For some reason text to voice added those ()()()


Don't do that.
 
2020-07-03 5:29:54 AM  

baron von doodle: CrazyCurt: What needs to be understood is the English language is "The Borg". It is! It assimilates and changes to the whims and tastes of the era. Kindergarten is a German word but we English speakers know what it is. Mayonnaise? I can't even spell it right w/o spellcheckers and it's as American as Mayonnaise Pie ( seriously I failed twice -- I don't eat it much ). This absurd language gobbles up anything that fits, sounds cool or makes you laugh at the drop of a hat. I think English is the best language there is because it's a bit of every language.

/ We Are The Borg!

Well, yes, American English does the same thing to other languages that we do to food. We steal it, Americanize it and generally ruin the original intention.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-03 5:35:09 AM  

waxbeans: Abacus9: Wikipedia says I'm right: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decimati​on_(Roman_army)

And further down the page
In the Russian Civil War, Leon Trotsky as leader of the Red Army ordered decimation for deserters.[20]


Mine is sourced from this: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/dec​i​mate
 
2020-07-03 5:40:16 AM  

waxbeans: Abacus9: Thank Xenu for Fark then! Farkers will correct any misconception, even if it's true! (I'm not really a Scientologist). Seriously though, I have learned quite a few things here over the years. Fark is smarter than your average site.

Is that a high bar? 😆


Higher than your Kindergarten teachers.
 
2020-07-03 5:42:07 AM  

Abacus9: in flagrante: Abacus9: How the fark would I know, I was just correcting someone else's misspelling (again, to screw over hypocrites, not because I care about this shiat.)

Technically, that last period should be placed outside your closing parentheses.

Yes, I know. But more importantly:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5FfJ8​9rGPc


Damn, meant to post it more like this

WAR - Why Can't We Be Friends
Youtube W5FfJ89rGPc
 
2020-07-03 5:49:32 AM  

CluelessMoron: Natalie Portmanteau: aerojockey: I can't think of a single time I've ever heard someone say "irregardless" non-ironically.

I occasionally say disirregardless to fark with people

I use "irregardlessly" for the same reasons.

I think I will expand that to "disirregardlessly" now. Thanks.

Embrace your disirregardlesslynesshood!


Disirregardlesslinesshood.

/pet peave
 
2020-07-03 5:53:25 AM  

Abacus9: waxbeans: Abacus9: Thank Xenu for Fark then! Farkers will correct any misconception, even if it's true! (I'm not really a Scientologist). Seriously though, I have learned quite a few things here over the years. Fark is smarter than your average site.

Is that a high bar? 😆

Higher than your Kindergarten teachers.


Hell yeah
 
2020-07-03 5:57:29 AM  

anfrind: The English dictionary does not make the rules, it merely describes how the language is used.  If you would rather use a language where the rules are defined by a central authority, you can switch to French.


That sounds difficult.  I surrender.
 
2020-07-03 5:58:59 AM  
English is a dead language, but English never died.
 
2020-07-03 6:13:24 AM  

cman: I could care less (yes, that was intentional) what others feel about English

I speak American, so fark y'all.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-07-03 6:15:12 AM  

studebaker hoch: The verbing of nouns.


this, so very very much this.
 
2020-07-03 6:18:59 AM  

My Sober Alt: English is a dead language, but English never died.


Supposeably...
 
2020-07-03 6:35:37 AM  

brantgoose: It died with Donald Trump, sitting on its head.

I can't breathe. Literalism, see.


You  forgot to take your meds.
 
2020-07-03 6:38:20 AM  
In English Comp II my teacher stopped in middle of grading papers and asked me how I came up with that word. I had a typo in regardless and MSWord gave that as the only correction, "irregardless". I thought it looked odd but went with it. Which became the topic of never trust an auto corrector because it is only as good as the dictionary embedded. He gave an explanation of why that word should not exist along with a few other frequent choices. 🤣
 
2020-07-03 6:40:49 AM  
A language misuse that bothers me is 'peruse' -- I've heard many people use it to mean 'skim' or 'look over lightly' when the dictionary defines it as 'to examine carefully at length.'

The 'literally' problem is alarming to me because we've already lost 'really' in the same way. I don't want to have to say "that wasn't a metaphor" after we lose the battle of 'literally' (that may or may not have been a metaphor).
 
2020-07-03 6:43:16 AM  

CFitzDE: A language misuse that bothers me is 'peruse' -- I've heard many people use it to mean 'skim' or 'look over lightly' when the dictionary defines it as 'to examine carefully at length.'

The 'literally' problem is alarming to me because we've already lost 'really' in the same way. I don't want to have to say "that wasn't a metaphor" after we lose the battle of 'literally' (that may or may not have been a metaphor).


That bothers me as well. How can you literally say literally if it can literally mean figuratively?
 
2020-07-03 6:46:57 AM  

studebaker hoch: The verbing of nouns.


Sorry, I was mouthing your words, and they floored me.
I'm just helping you in painting the larger picture.

/I have enough issues with people blending words; mansplaining, moobs, etc
//though brunch has become mainstream
///don't brunch myself, though
 
2020-07-03 6:50:21 AM  

studebaker hoch: The verbing of nouns.


Verbing weirds language.
 
2020-07-03 6:51:59 AM  

Acidicnads: Now, u b judging! I b intravenously dee live Err..:) ing TRUTH LOLOLOL!!! Sorry you clay genital pottery barns! [(LOLOLO)   farking gen X (LOLOLLOLO) you belong in a museum!!!] & you pathetic menials = blowing cocaine butterfly's up your BUTT (HEHE), but your hemorrhoid ridden assholes are gross! Eww menials!


Needs more emojis.
 
2020-07-03 6:56:58 AM  
Yawl don tok rat.

Git woke.
 
2020-07-03 7:02:51 AM  
How many people spell the wore lose as loose. Two completely different words and meanings. If I see that again I'll loose my mind.
 
2020-07-03 7:07:01 AM  

xebec: studebaker hoch: The verbing of nouns.

this, so very very much this.


-1 for double adverbing, sorry.
 
2020-07-03 7:10:02 AM  
How about your lighten the fark up you prescriptivist bastards.
 
2020-07-03 7:10:16 AM  
Wh4t3v3r 1t w4s p4rf3ct3d s0m3t1m3 1n th3 90s
 
Displayed 50 of 342 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.