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(Onion AV Club)   Tom Hanks goes big, makes a splash, and casts away all the hooches saying "That thing you do; you're ladykillers; shame on you" He truly is in a league of his own   (news.avclub.com) divider line
    More: Hero, Racism, Rifle, Tom Hanks, Tom Hanks Shame, 2007 albums, Academy Award for Best Actor, Profanity, That Thing You Do!  
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2790 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 Jul 2020 at 12:30 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



38 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-07-01 7:52:21 PM  
I Volunteers to golf clap that headline, Subby - well did!
 
2020-07-01 7:56:19 PM  

dionysusaur: I Volunteers to golf clap that headline, Subby - well did!


could not squeeze in forrest gump?
 
2020-07-01 8:02:24 PM  
Good thought Tom, but you can't shame the shameless.
 
2020-07-01 8:15:13 PM  
I hope it's not terminal.
 
2020-07-01 8:32:28 PM  

LordOfThePings: I hope it's not terminal.


Don't sully the moment.
 
2020-07-01 8:33:11 PM  

some_beer_drinker: dionysusaur: I Volunteers to golf clap that headline, Subby - well did!

could not squeeze in forrest gump?


With what's left of my memory, you never know what you're gonna get.
 
2020-07-01 8:37:25 PM  
But what about his Bachelor Party? It's just a Green Mile down the Road to Perdition at Dragnet's DaVinci Code.
 
2020-07-01 8:43:26 PM  
This headline gave me absolutely no clue what the article was about, save for Tom Hanks.

That's all I have to say about that.
 
2020-07-01 9:08:57 PM  
i.redd.itView Full Size

He's so rad.
 
2020-07-01 9:30:22 PM  
Just don't be bosom buddies with anyone without a mask.
 
2020-07-01 9:59:25 PM  
Truly they're on a road to perdition.
 
2020-07-01 10:03:06 PM  
What would Wilson think?
 
2020-07-01 10:24:15 PM  
Stupid is as stupid does.
 
2020-07-01 10:55:38 PM  
Typical Hollyweird elitism. He wouldn't know how the rest of us struggle for our freedumbs, Woody?
 
2020-07-01 11:16:17 PM  
He speaks from experience. Either he or Rita spread it to the other because they weren't wearing a mask.
 
2020-07-02 12:47:39 AM  
Meh. If he doesn't like it he can move to a country where their leaders don't make public health and safety a partisan political matter.
 
2020-07-02 12:48:14 AM  

some_beer_drinker: dionysusaur: I Volunteers to golf clap that headline, Subby - well did!

could not squeeze in forrest gump?


He couldn't go that extra Green Mile...
 
2020-07-02 12:52:33 AM  
Wear a mask but don't be the man with one red shoe.
 
2020-07-02 1:00:35 AM  
don't be maskless in Seattle
 
2020-07-02 1:03:55 AM  
So I've been in KY and TN during all this, and I'd say there's 50% mask coverage.  Every way that I can think of punishing these assholes is illegal.  Then earlier today it occurred to me . . . anyone else remember fart spray?  I hadn't encountered any since I went to Spencer's in HS.  So today I ordered this:

https://www.amazon.com/Novelties-Liqu​i​d-Gag-Smelly-Stinky/dp/B000GKXYZ2

(btw, I encourage everyone to scroll down to Customer Questions on this page)

I hope it smells as horrible as they say.  I will then order 10 of them.  If any of these assholes complain about the shiat-smell, I'm going to say "you know, with the mask, I can't really smell it"
 
2020-07-02 1:05:12 AM  
THanks for that headline, subby. Good work!
 
2020-07-02 2:00:54 AM  

HighwayBill: don't be maskless in Seattle


Or else, you've got mail with a citation for violating the state order.
 
2020-07-02 3:43:11 AM  
John Oliver should have him do an uncensored PSA on his show. Terrible Tom Hanks dropping F bombs and taking names.

Then, later on the same show, Sam Jackson could do a reasonable PSA with no curse words. That would fark with them. I'd pay to see that.
 
2020-07-02 3:46:53 AM  

Naido: So I've been in KY and TN during all this, and I'd say there's 50% mask coverage.  Every way that I can think of punishing these assholes is illegal.  Then earlier today it occurred to me . . . anyone else remember fart spray?  I hadn't encountered any since I went to Spencer's in HS.  So today I ordered this:

https://www.amazon.com/Novelties-Liqui​d-Gag-Smelly-Stinky/dp/B000GKXYZ2

(btw, I encourage everyone to scroll down to Customer Questions on this page)

I hope it smells as horrible as they say.  I will then order 10 of them.  If any of these assholes complain about the shiat-smell, I'm going to say "you know, with the mask, I can't really smell it"


Whenever I'm out of quarantine I plan to do the same thing. I'll probably use homemade rather than store-bought, though.
 
2020-07-02 4:12:35 AM  
Whoa look out Mr. Rogers is going blue.

He is just trying to save private Ryan but the morons won't listen.
 
2020-07-02 5:00:47 AM  
Conservatives to start complaining that Hanks is a shiatty actor who makes shiatty movies no one's even heard of anyways in...3...2...
 
2020-07-02 5:04:18 AM  
It's because all these idiots from the 'burbs are too busy playing catch me if you can.
 
2020-07-02 6:36:02 AM  
What is this some type of Joe versus the Volcano?  It's gonna leave me sleepless in Seattle.

/you've got mail!
 
2020-07-02 7:16:00 AM  
Mazes and Monsters
 
2020-07-02 7:59:23 AM  
Joe vs the Volcano!!!
 
2020-07-02 8:47:27 AM  
This will definitely sink him into the money pit
 
2020-07-02 9:13:37 AM  
He's truly America's treasure.

Except when he's secretly killing aspiring actresses in order to drain their blood so he can maintain an erection.
 
2020-07-02 9:23:12 AM  

Kat09tails: What would Wilson think?


She would agree?
 
2020-07-02 12:46:41 PM  
He's trying intent on Saving Mr. Banks?

Dragnet this advice to Philadelphia, and share this Punchline with your Circle.
 
2020-07-02 4:55:07 PM  
Meanwhile, some where on the web is working on a photoshop of Hanks in his Forrest Gump role to stickit  to the libs. Karens in the world couldn't believe that he said pussy and are shocked.
 
2020-07-02 5:16:14 PM  
You can't shame the shamelessly stupid
 
2020-07-02 6:40:17 PM  
When will this affable monster's tyranny end?  It's the Burbs all over again, Tom is the Satanic Cult family, and only the brave few who are Ray Peterson point out his creeping subversion of our gorgeous country.
 
2020-07-02 9:49:37 PM  
I don't think these comments have anything to do with the article, unless you're all toying with the story.
 
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