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(Fark)   Hard math problems, reopening venues, and of course Florida Man doing his thing are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, June 21-27 Visit from Mom Edition   (fark.com) divider line
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1407 clicks; posted to Main » and Discussion » on 02 Jul 2020 at 11:00 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-07-01 11:13:48 AM  
So my Mom came to visit this past week. She had just scraped together enough money to pay her car off over a year early, and so was trying to get by until payday. I had the following conversation while we were at the grocery store:

Me: "So mom, what do you want for dinner tonight?"
Mom: "I'm out of money, so I'll just have whatever you're having."
Me: "Okay, we've got some Swai in the freezer, and I've got fresh spinach, so how about a Florentine? There doesn't seem to be any Alfredo left at any of the stores in town, but I've got cream cheese and parmesan and Italian seasoning and I can fake one good enough."
Mom: "What's swai?"
Me; "Fish."
Mom: "What kind of fish?"
Me: "It's a whitefish. Pretty mild flavor, kind of like cod or haddock."
Mom: "I've never had those."
Me: "If you've had a fish sandwich at  a burger chain, you've probably had cod or haddock or some other kind of whitefish."
Mom: "I don't like fish sandwiches, they'e all breading."
Me: "Okay, this isn't breaded - the fish is roasted on a bed of spinach."
Mom: "Yeah, but it's the same fish."
Me: "Okay, Mom, you know how Dad would take us fishing, and then you would cook up bream or crappie? That same kind of flavor - not strong like catfish, just kind of mild." (Yes, I know swai is actually a species of catfish, but it doesn't taste like the catfish she knows)
Mom: "I think I've got a dollar, I'll get some canned salmon."

I love my mom to death, but sometimes I just... I dunno.

Also, why the heck has every grocery store in my redneck town been out of Alfredo sauce for the past month? What are people doing with all this Alfredo? Do people in this area even eat it? Have the grocery stores and distributors been diverting supplies to larger cities where people know what it is?

Anyway, take the Quiz, and come back and tell us how you did and your experiences with visits from Mom.

Winners and easiest/hardest are in the NotNewsletter arriving in your inbox directly.

Don't forget the Easy Quiz!

Good luck, and let me know if you have any issues.
 
2020-07-01 11:16:08 AM  
im.idiva.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-01 11:42:46 AM  
Sorry edmo, once again squeaked past you...

/would have done better if I didn't have an attack of the dumbs on each quiz ... alas
//we're out of alfredo around here too, plenty of red spaghetti sauce but the white is all gone ... probably a racial statement given this weird timeline
 
2020-07-01 11:45:24 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-01 12:05:54 PM  
Final Score:
9 out of 11 correct, total points = 777

You'll never catch me (in the next 6 minutes)
 
2020-07-01 12:06:39 PM  
img.gifglobe.comView Full Size
 
2020-07-01 12:17:30 PM  

ox45tallboy: So my Mom came to visit this past week. She had just scraped together enough money to pay her car off over a year early, and so was trying to get by until payday. I had the following conversation while we were at the grocery store:

Me: "So mom, what do you want for dinner tonight?"
Mom: "I'm out of money, so I'll just have whatever you're having."
Me: "Okay, we've got some Swai in the freezer, and I've got fresh spinach, so how about a Florentine? There doesn't seem to be any Alfredo left at any of the stores in town, but I've got cream cheese and parmesan and Italian seasoning and I can fake one good enough."
Mom: "What's swai?"
Me; "Fish."
Mom: "What kind of fish?"
Me: "It's a whitefish. Pretty mild flavor, kind of like cod or haddock."
Mom: "I've never had those."
Me: "If you've had a fish sandwich at  a burger chain, you've probably had cod or haddock or some other kind of whitefish."
Mom: "I don't like fish sandwiches, they'e all breading."
Me: "Okay, this isn't breaded - the fish is roasted on a bed of spinach."
Mom: "Yeah, but it's the same fish."
Me: "Okay, Mom, you know how Dad would take us fishing, and then you would cook up bream or crappie? That same kind of flavor - not strong like catfish, just kind of mild." (Yes, I know swai is actually a species of catfish, but it doesn't taste like the catfish she knows)
Mom: "I think I've got a dollar, I'll get some canned salmon."

I love my mom to death, but sometimes I just... I dunno.

Also, why the heck has every grocery store in my redneck town been out of Alfredo sauce for the past month? What are people doing with all this Alfredo? Do people in this area even eat it? Have the grocery stores and distributors been diverting supplies to larger cities where people know what it is?

Anyway, take the Quiz, and come back and tell us how you did and your experiences with visits from Mom.

Winners and easiest/hardest are in the NotNewsletter arriving in your inbox directly.

Don't forget the Easy Quiz!

Good luck ...


Thanks Quizzinator.  I bombed on the Hard version but aced the Easy.  The Hard version has been living up to its name recently!
 
2020-07-01 12:26:00 PM  
Damn...  I don't think I've scored this low before.  532 for the loss!
 
2020-07-01 1:45:08 PM  

ox45tallboy: [im.idiva.com image 480x261] [View Full Size image _x_]


You know, making your own alfredo sauce is waaay better. Pretty simple.
 
2020-07-01 2:33:03 PM  

ox45tallboy: Mom: "I think I've got a dollar, I'll get some canned salmon."


My mom used to make some kickass "salmon" patties using canned mackerel.  Chopped onion, black pepper, salt, and egg.  Dredged and breaded and fried.  Wasn't fishy at all.  It was about the only fish I would eat growing up.  That and tuna salad.

Canned salmon was too expensive for Mom.  We wuz poor.

But I can't eat mackerel now... smells like cat food.


/ate my share of grilled gub'mint cheeze, too
//i barely squeaked past ox45tallboy this quiz
///too much nethack
 
2020-07-01 2:41:33 PM  

Pinner: ox45tallboy: [im.idiva.com image 480x261] [View Full Size image _x_]

You know, making your own alfredo sauce is waaay better. Pretty simple.


Well, considering all I had to do that day, and the fact that I only needed about half a cup to go on top of the fish, a jar of cheap stuff dressed up with a little freshly grated Parmesan will have been fine.
 
2020-07-01 5:36:18 PM  
Wow 885 and second place on easy quiz.
 
2020-07-01 10:34:28 PM  
I love a good alfredo sauce, but I've never found a single store-bought kind that I liked. Then I'm left with half a jar of the stuff in my fridge just waiting for a meal I know I'm not going to particularly enjoy. Or more likely, I'll find it in the back six months later, give it the side-eye while trying to remember when the hell I bought it, and throw it away.
 
2020-07-01 10:52:57 PM  
stores around my area have oddly been out of certain things.

frozen vegetables?  sure if you like only broccoli, spinach, carrots, peas or some medleys of those

fresh lettuce heads are randomly in stock.
 
2020-07-01 11:03:06 PM  

Hoopy Frood: I love a good alfredo sauce, but I've never found a single store-bought kind that I liked. Then I'm left with half a jar of the stuff in my fridge just waiting for a meal I know I'm not going to particularly enjoy. Or more likely, I'll find it in the back six months later, give it the side-eye while trying to remember when the hell I bought it, and throw it away.


I know that many people agree with you, which is why I'm wondering if there are a crap-ton of rednecks in my county with a half-dozen opened jars of Alfredo hiding behind the mayonnaise and the Old Milwaukee.

Maybe someone saw on Facebook that Q had announced it was a secret cure for COVID-19.
 
2020-07-01 11:47:07 PM  
8 out of 11 on the hard quiz- and all but 1 was guessing!  me are smert.
alfredo sauce is too rich.  what the groceries need to bring back are my boxes of miniature Everlasting Gobstoppers.  excellent on pasta orfish.

ox45tallboy: So my Mom came to visit this past week. She had just scraped together enough money to pay her car off over a year early, and so was trying to get by until payday. I had the following conversation while we were at the grocery store:

Me: "So mom, what do you want for dinner tonight?"
Mom: "I'm out of money, so I'll just have whatever you're having."
Me: "Okay, we've got some Swai in the freezer, and I've got fresh spinach, so how about a Florentine? There doesn't seem to be any Alfredo left at any of the stores in town, but I've got cream cheese and parmesan and Italian seasoning and I can fake one good enough."
Mom: "What's swai?"
Me; "Fish."
Mom: "What kind of fish?"
Me: "It's a whitefish. Pretty mild flavor, kind of like cod or haddock."
Mom: "I've never had those."
Me: "If you've had a fish sandwich at  a burger chain, you've probably had cod or haddock or some other kind of whitefish."
Mom: "I don't like fish sandwiches, they'e all breading."
Me: "Okay, this isn't breaded - the fish is roasted on a bed of spinach."
Mom: "Yeah, but it's the same fish."
Me: "Okay, Mom, you know how Dad would take us fishing, and then you would cook up bream or crappie? That same kind of flavor - not strong like catfish, just kind of mild." (Yes, I know swai is actually a species of catfish, but it doesn't taste like the catfish she knows)
Mom: "I think I've got a dollar, I'll get some canned salmon."


it's nice that you tried to perswaid your mom to try something new, but crappie fish-fry memories linger; so what can you do?
 
2020-07-02 3:03:46 AM  
Within days of lockdown my city, Seattle, was out of flour and yeast. I had ten pounds of flour, but my yeast was expired. I doubled the amount of yeast that my recipe called for and got a couple of decent loaves of bread . . . but I want yeast, fresh new yeast. I found a place that would sell me 24 pounds for about a hunnert bux. I spent a day worrying about what the hell I'd do with 22 pounds of yeast after putting 2 pounds away for myself.

I asked my sister if she'd put a note on her "myneighborhood" site and test for interest. In the meantime I pulled the trigger and waited for delivery. Seven days later the yeast arrived . . . and it was all sold in less than four hours. That was exciting.

I haven't looked for Alfredo sauce . . . too easy to make better.

People in Seattle are awash in salmon, cod, halibut, and all kinds of tuna. I've seen talapia and catfish in stores but never bought any. In another couple of weeks tuna boats will be at the West Wall at Fisherman's Terminal selling fresh tuna. Cheap at about eight bux an lb.

As for this week's puzzle. I did not let myself down: I still suck.
 
2020-07-02 11:23:44 AM  
Somehow I don't think I'm going to match the 1224 I scored last week...
 
2020-07-02 1:20:37 PM  

The Third Man: Somehow I don't think I'm going to match the 1224 I scored last week...


While it was a screw-up on my part that let several dozen people take all 14 questions, I will say that a 13/14 is quite impressive and you deserved your mention in the NNL.
 
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