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(Vice)   When can we kiss again...and do the nasty in these coronavirus times? Asking for a desperate friend   (vice.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Figure It Out, Eric Dolphy, high-risk, New York City, close friends, Zo McLaren, infectious disease epidemiologist, established partner  
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2328 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2020 at 5:08 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



47 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-06-30 3:07:02 PM  
Condom + glory hole = right now.
 
2020-06-30 3:55:31 PM  
everybody does it.  I just did it, and I'm ready to do it again
 
2020-06-30 4:27:04 PM  

johnny_vegas: everybody does it.  I just did it, and I'm ready to do it again


Sure everybody does it. My question is when doing it to Ms. Pinky: Do you wash out her mouth before kissing her afterwards?  Mine never talks back like a lady might do
 
2020-06-30 4:29:56 PM  
Subby's mom has re-opened for business.
 
2020-06-30 4:39:20 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: johnny_vegas: everybody does it.  I just did it, and I'm ready to do it again

Sure everybody does it. My question is when doing it to Ms. Pinky: Do you wash out her mouth before kissing her afterwards?  Mine never talks back like a lady might do


*shrug* it's good to be the king
 
2020-06-30 4:47:22 PM  
Hey, you know what I'm waiting for...

Fark user imageView Full Size


/Yes, I'm a hugger
 
2020-06-30 5:12:31 PM  
Jesus, there are countless going to die and all she can think about is kissing??  DUDE!!! get a vibe!  If you're still single there's probably a reason!
 
2020-06-30 5:13:34 PM  
Jokes on you all, I'm married, so that all stopped years ago.

/JK
 
2020-06-30 5:14:10 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 5:15:14 PM  

crackpancake: Jesus, there are countless going to die and all she can think about is kissing??  DUDE!!! get a vibe!  If you're still single there's probably a reason!


My hope is this is an Episode of twilight zone where she ends up being the last human left.
 
2020-06-30 5:16:59 PM  

mongbiohazard: Jokes on you all, I'm married, so that all stopped years ago.

/JK


Your wife won't be happy
 
2020-06-30 5:17:12 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 5:18:50 PM  
No but, I'm sure "scissoring" is perfectly safe.
 
2020-06-30 5:22:16 PM  

johnny_vegas: everybody does it.  I just did it, and I'm ready to do it again


Am I the exception that proves the rule?  Haven't kissed anybody in years.
 
2020-06-30 5:23:40 PM  

Boondock3806: Subby's mom has re-opened for business.


Is it Cartman's mom?

Cartman's mom german sh*t
Youtube XV_Zc-tsLHo
 
2020-06-30 5:25:08 PM  
Obligatory:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 5:28:30 PM  
We've been perfectly willing to risk herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis. I can't see why we shouldn't be willing to risk a little coronavirus.
 
2020-06-30 5:29:06 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Boondock3806: Subby's mom has re-opened for business.

Is it Cartman's mom?

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/XV_Zc-ts​LHo?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]


Its so frustrating that SP is only on hbo max now. re-watching classic episodes really helped this fella through quarantine.

As for kissing and sex, man I'd willingly risk it right now.  I'm used to dry spells with having/not having a woman in my life, but this quarantine really made me feel lonely in a different way than I'm accustomed to.
 
2020-06-30 5:32:11 PM  
Bout an hour ago.
That's when.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 5:34:07 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: johnny_vegas: everybody does it.  I just did it, and I'm ready to do it again

Sure everybody does it. My question is when doing it to Ms. Pinky: Do you wash out her mouth before kissing her afterwards?  Mine never talks back like a lady might do


Does she look kinda like Grace Slick?
 
2020-06-30 5:36:00 PM  
All the pros here are only taking it doggy style or on top w/ mask or reverse cowgirl.

Some that have the means are doing the whole one-step up while you stand on the landing thing, that's a good way to distance your saliva unless you're a spitter.

So I've heard from my more adventurous friends; the amount of romance in this house consisted of us each asking when the last time was that we brushed our teef.
 
2020-06-30 5:36:11 PM  

mongbiohazard: Jokes on you all, I'm married, so that all stopped years ago.

/JK


Yep, just cause you can doesn't mean you want to.
 
2020-06-30 5:36:58 PM  

LewDux: mongbiohazard: Jokes on you all, I'm married, so that all stopped years ago.

/JK

Your wife won't be happy


Yeah, but my girlfriend's OK with that.

/glad my wife reads Fark, but not the comments
//she thinks I'm funny, dammit
 
2020-06-30 5:38:51 PM  
Look, Subby, your aunt Edna isn't ready to kiss you again, even when this COVID-19 thing passes, when you come to visit her in the rest home, because you keep slipping her the tongue. She certainly has no plans to let you do the nasty with her, either.
 
2020-06-30 5:41:23 PM  
You married people aren't into S&M?

Married S&M = One sleeps, one masturbates.

Credit: Bill Burr, F is for Family. IIRC
 
2020-06-30 5:44:22 PM  

Boondock3806: Subby's mom has re-opened for business.


Thubby'th mom re-opened? She wath never clothed!
 
2020-06-30 5:47:22 PM  
Won't be a problem when Biden's elected.  Even Mexicans will be able to call for a US ambulance on their side of the border at US taxpayer expense.
 
2020-06-30 5:49:59 PM  
Kiss?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 5:50:22 PM  

smunns: Won't be a problem when Biden's elected.  Even Mexicans will be able to call for a US ambulance on their side of the border at US taxpayer expense.


Better to be silent and thought to be stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
 
2020-06-30 5:50:50 PM  
Depends. Who's asking?
 
2020-06-30 5:52:48 PM  

rebelyell2006: johnny_vegas: everybody does it.  I just did it, and I'm ready to do it again

Am I the exception that proves the rule?  Haven't kissed anybody in years.


Sigh, okay but NO TONGUE!
 
2020-06-30 5:54:26 PM  
N/A
 
2020-06-30 6:05:56 PM  
No subby. Bad subby.
 
2020-06-30 6:16:57 PM  
 
2020-06-30 6:35:22 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 6:47:27 PM  
If you stopped having sex because of all this then it's probably for the best, we really don't want your genes in the pool anyway.
 
2020-06-30 6:58:57 PM  

LewDux: [Fark user image image 480x600]


Came here only to make sure that this was covered...
 
kab
2020-06-30 7:12:58 PM  
but it's especially challenging if you're a woman who wants to date men

LOL, ok.

We continued to talk, and instead of getting irritated or strategically delaying his reply after I would unintentionally drop off for days at a time,

Well, now we know why you made that first statement.

/yes, I know, not the point of the article.
 
2020-06-30 7:26:53 PM  
Eww. Physical contact and bodily fluid exchange are not my idea of fun, even without the pandemic. The sooner we get the Demolition-Man-style virtual sex machines, the better.
 
2020-06-30 8:49:12 PM  

Autoerotic Defenestration: [Fark user image image 801x1200]


I'd rub it back and forth on my head a few times and stick it to the ceiling during my kid's birthday party.
 
2020-06-30 9:23:33 PM  

skatedrifter: If you stopped having sex because of all this then it's probably for the best, we really don't want your genes in the pool anyway.


wait, what?  You are still going around and hooking up?  Are you in a country that has controlled the pandemic?
 
2020-06-30 9:33:39 PM  
thumbor.forbes.comView Full Size
add a couple flaps and convient Zippers, find a good negative pressure room or a good stove hood do a decent after decon after
 
2020-06-30 10:59:49 PM  

dbaggins: skatedrifter: If you stopped having sex because of all this then it's probably for the best, we really don't want your genes in the pool anyway.

wait, what?  You are still going around and hooking up?  Are you in a country that has controlled the pandemic?


Lol u gave up sex?

Wow, jus wow.
 
2020-07-01 6:56:44 AM  
Have you both been quarantined for at least 14 days? No symptoms? Than what is the issue?
 
2020-07-01 7:38:03 AM  
than/then/thou/thor
 
2020-07-01 12:13:21 PM  

skatedrifter: dbaggins: skatedrifter: If you stopped having sex because of all this then it's probably for the best, we really don't want your genes in the pool anyway.

wait, what?  You are still going around and hooking up?  Are you in a country that has controlled the pandemic?

Lol u gave up sex?

Wow, jus wow.


Well, yes. Condoms and genital anesthesia no not mix, so buying it is out, and having "good papers" means having a FWB who doesn't try to snare you is very difficult. So, going on 2 years. Getting a handle of the hormones (which also make me want to cuddle) is hard sometimes, but beats all the shiat I had to go through for a toss in the hay.
 
2020-07-01 2:24:40 PM  

Mikey1969: LewDux: [Fark user image image 480x600]

Came here only to make sure that this was covered...


Ewww
 
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