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(NYPost)   Just in time .... duunnn dunnn... for NYC beaches to reopen, ... duuuunnnn duun... a guest shows up to welcome swimmers ... duuunnnnnnnn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn dunnnn   (nypost.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Beach, Shore, Rockaway Beach, 43-year-old real estate agent, Coast, Thresher shark, Parks Department, first shark sighting  
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2973 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2020 at 1:35 PM (3 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
3 days ago  
Hundreds of beachgoers waved off social distancing protocols as they swarmed toward the big fish, she said.

You're doing it wrong. You are supposed to run away form sharks, not towards them you morans.

Also:
Rockaway Beach (2017 Remaster)
Youtube s0cLMW181mo
 
3 days ago  

Walker: Hundreds of beachgoers waved off social distancing protocols as they swarmed toward the big fish, she said.

You're doing it wrong. You are supposed to run away form sharks, not towards them you morans.

Also:
[YouTube video: Rockaway Beach (2017 Remaster)]


I think that the last few months have proved "avoid it like the plague" needs to be retired since humans don't do that.
 
3 days ago  
Even Nature is telling you to stay home.
 
3 days ago  
Was it wearing a mask?
 
3 days ago  
OK, I guess we do need a bigger boat after all.
 
3 days ago  
We must sacrifice a skinny dipper to set in motion the chain of events that shall change the world. As the prophecy foretold.
 
3 days ago  
bostonmagazine.comView Full Size


Paging Captain Quint. Captain Quint to the white courtesy phone, please.
 
3 days ago  
img.nbc.comView Full Size
 
3 days ago  
66.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
3 days ago  
Sharks are just getting in line early for the buffet.
 
3 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Flowers M'aam...
 
3 days ago  

edmo: Even Nature is telling you to stay home.


Nah. Nature is telling you:
I'm baaaaack!

/nothing a shockwave from a dropped xx megaton won't cure
 
3 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
3 days ago  

Walker: Hundreds of beachgoers waved off social distancing protocols as they swarmed toward the big fish, she said.

You're doing it wrong. You are supposed to run away form sharks, not towards them you morans.

Also:
[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/s0cLMW18​1mo]


Running towards them is okay, wading or swimming towards them on the other hand, not so okay.
 
3 days ago  

Keyser_Soze_Death: [img.nbc.com image 850x478]


*knock knock* "Pizza!"

"I didn't order a pizza!"

"Candygram!"

"I'm not falling for that, I know it's the landshark!"

"Landshark!"

"OK!"
/opens the door
 
3 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size

It's 2020, folks! Business as usual! Carry on if you're not on fire!
 
3 days ago  

Walker: Hundreds of beachgoers waved off social distancing protocols as they swarmed toward the big fish, she said.

You're doing it wrong. You are supposed to run away form sharks, not towards them you morans.

Also:
[YouTube video: Rockaway Beach (2017 Remaster)]


Done in one
 
3 days ago  
If you've ever been in the ocean; you've very likely been within 300 yards of a shark. Sharks don't eat people.
 
3 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
3 days ago  
Maybe a god or gods are trying to tell us something?
 
3 days ago  

The Irresponsible Captain: Maybe a god or gods are trying to tell us something?


Yeah, he is:

STAY THE F*CK AT HOME!
 
3 days ago  
So the beaches were open to sunbathing but closed to swimming due to Covid-19? How would swimming make it worse?
 
3 days ago  

hubiestubert: The Irresponsible Captain: Maybe a god or gods are trying to tell us something?

Yeah, he is:

STAY THE F*CK AT HOME!


We're gonna have to learn to live with this. We can't shut down the economy and stay home forever.
 
3 days ago  
When I was a kid my grandparents had a great old house that backed right up to the rockaway beach boardwalk.  We had to shower the sand off in an outdoor wooden stall before coming back into the house after swimming.  I never quite appreciated how awesome that house and its ocean view was, I guess because I wasn't crazy about getting dragged away from my toys to go visit my grandparents.
 
3 days ago  

hubiestubert: The Irresponsible Captain: Maybe a god or gods are trying to tell us something?

Yeah, he is:

STAY THE F*CK AT HOME!


I would think that you, of all farkers, would know that he's saying "eat more shark"
 
3 days ago  

hubiestubert: The Irresponsible Captain: Maybe a god or gods are trying to tell us something?

Yeah, he is:

STAY THE F*CK AT HOME!


Statistically speaking, Aunt Carol's thanksgiving pork roast is more dangerous than a shark.

/ Sharks don't put sugar in the carrots and half-and-half in the mashed potatoes
 
3 days ago  

Chinesenookiefactory: So the beaches were open to sunbathing but closed to swimming due to Covid-19? How would swimming make it worse?


I assume the logic is that fewer people (eg families) would go to the beach if they knew they weren't allowed to swim.
 
3 days ago  
Out there is a Perfect Engine, an Eating Machine that is a miracle of evolution - it swims and eats and makes little baby sharks, that's all.
 
3 days ago  

iheartscotch: If you've ever been in the ocean; you've very likely been within 300 yards of a shark. Sharks don't eat people.


Yeah, but it's that whole "exploratory test bite" thing that's a pisser.

Well, that, and mistaken identity:

i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size
 
3 days ago  
That shark just wanted to visit his chum...
 
3 days ago  
Sharks are our friends, feed em and love them
 
3 days ago  
Hundreds of beachgoers waved off social distancing protocols as they swarmed toward the big fish, she said.

Can we just shoot these people?
 
3 days ago  

iheartscotch: If you've ever been in the ocean; you've very likely been within 300 yards of a shark. Sharks don't eat people.


eat? no, but to some, semantics don't really matter.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of​_​fatal_shark_attacks_in_the_United_Stat​es
 
3 days ago  

Corvus: Hundreds of beachgoers waved off social distancing protocols as they swarmed toward the big fish, she said.

Can we just shoot these people?


So...your frustration with people who, granted are being stupid, is to want to shoot them?  That seems like reasonable response to your feelings of frustration to you?
 
3 days ago  

Chinesenookiefactory: hubiestubert: The Irresponsible Captain: Maybe a god or gods are trying to tell us something?

Yeah, he is:

STAY THE F*CK AT HOME!

We're gonna have to learn to live with this. We can't shut down the economy and stay home forever.


How about y'all stay home enough to maybe stop killing under 3M?

Literally, weeks in the beginning rather than digging heels in about quarantines, and weeks on the other end to actually HAVE numbers down, and with masks and reasonable measures--like staggered openings to see what the effects ACTUALLY were--and we wouldn't be racing to 3M dead, and a CDC that cannot expect to contain this. But hey, someone got to go out and get a latte.The rush to open without any thought, and without any restraint is seeing Arizona's numbers rise to dizzying new heights. That's what premature opening has done for them. And it makes me glad that I'm on the Right Coast, and the people I care about who are in NM are nestled high in the mountains and away from these jackasses.But hey, guess it's worth 3-4M dead people if you can get a haircut, right?
 
3 days ago  
This is 2020.

That single shark was a warning shot.
 
3 days ago  
Subby, we are the guests. It's a shark's world we swim in.
 
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