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(CBS News)   "Congratulations, it's a happy, healthy, bouncing 50-pound cyst"   (cbsnews.com) divider line
    More: Weird, Surgery, Weight loss, Obesity, Dieting, Kayla Rahn, Jackson Hospital, dieting efforts, weight gain  
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3425 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2020 at 1:50 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



43 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-06-30 8:50:06 AM  
That had to hurt.
 
TWX [TotalFark]
2020-06-30 9:32:34 AM  
I know a woman that had to have five uterine cysts removed.  She had pictures.  Showed 'em to me like family.  Four of the same size and one smaller than the rest, Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe, and Wilbur, the runt of the litter.

She was not expecting to be able to have kids so kept this around as a joke until surprise, she and her husband conceived despite the damage she'd suffered.  She retired that particular joke after that.
 
2020-06-30 11:33:54 AM  
I know two women who had abdominal cysts like that.  Also benign, thank goodness.  One was my HS girlfriend.  15 lbs.
 
2020-06-30 1:55:05 PM  
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 1:55:34 PM  
I'm gonna name it Lump.
 
2020-06-30 1:58:37 PM  
My Aunt Peggy had a uterine cyst, and it kept getting bigger and bigger. Incidentally, after about 9 months, it went away and we were all introduced to cousin Timothy (which was also the same name as Aunt Peggy's dachsund). He developed normally despite Aunt Peggy's cigarette smoking and got pretty high up on the carnival circuit. Timothy (the dog) went out one morning and didn't come back. Uncle Walter later said he may have gotten too close to the pond, but we were told he ran away and joined the carnival.
 
2020-06-30 1:58:51 PM  

Diogenes: I know two women who had abdominal cysts like that.  Also benign, thank goodness.  One was my HS girlfriend.  15 lbs.


Your highschool girlfriend was a 15 lb. cyst?
 
2020-06-30 1:59:43 PM  
FTA "she kept getting asked a question no woman wants to hear: Are you pregnant?"

I was told to never ask a woman that unless I could see the baby sticking out of her vagina. Was good advice then and still is now.
 
2020-06-30 2:00:47 PM  
and by shark, we mean covid.
 
2020-06-30 2:05:25 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Diogenes: I know two women who had abdominal cysts like that.  Also benign, thank goodness.  One was my HS girlfriend.  15 lbs.

Your highschool girlfriend was a 15 lb. cyst?


Different strokes.
 
2020-06-30 2:07:41 PM  

Yellow Beard: FTA "she kept getting asked a question no woman wants to hear: Are you pregnant?"

I was told to never ask a woman that unless I could see the baby sticking out of her vagina. Was good advice then and still is now.


Right? I mean, they have tests for that sort of thing.
 
2020-06-30 2:07:59 PM  
Pardon me, but I am going to question the integrity of the headline until I actually see video of it bouncing.
 
2020-06-30 2:09:13 PM  
With helpful before and after pics of the woman for comparison....
 
2020-06-30 2:09:30 PM  

Yellow Beard: FTA "she kept getting asked a question no woman wants to hear: Are you pregnant?"

I was told to never ask a woman that unless I could see the baby sticking out of her vagina. Was good advice then and still is now.


Would that advice cover different phrasings, like "Some women retain water. Are you retaining toddler?"
 
2020-06-30 2:10:56 PM  

Bartleby the Scrivener: My Aunt Peggy had a uterine cyst, and it kept getting bigger and bigger. Incidentally, after about 9 months, it went away and we were all introduced to cousin Timothy (which was also the same name as Aunt Peggy's dachsund). He developed normally despite Aunt Peggy's cigarette smoking and got pretty high up on the carnival circuit. Timothy (the dog) went out one morning and didn't come back. Uncle Walter later said he may have gotten too close to the pond, but we were told he ran away and joined the carnival.


Fark user imageView Full Size


What Aunt Peggy may look like
 
2020-06-30 2:11:50 PM  
i want to buy a gift for the cyst, but is a blue or a pink garbage bag appropriate?
 
2020-06-30 2:15:22 PM  
I bet that smelled nice.....
 
2020-06-30 2:18:39 PM  

some_beer_drinker: [thumbs.gfycat.com image 520x293] [View Full Size image _x_]


Dammit... that scene disgusted me enough at age 12, but I really didn't need to see how well it held up a few decades later.
 
2020-06-30 2:23:16 PM  
I wonder if you can fry that up and eat it with a little salsa ..

/ gross
 
2020-06-30 2:28:29 PM  

AeAe: I wonder if you can fry that up and eat it with a little salsa ..

/ gross


Okay, if that's the first place you went, you need to go sit in the corner and think about your life choices.

::hork::
 
2020-06-30 2:30:49 PM  

Nobody in Peculiar: What Aunt Peggy may look like


She and Uncle Walter bore an uncanny resemblance to each other, which may have been one reason they ended up separating. Well, that and "the harlot Charlene." Notably, cousin Timothy looked a little more like Grandy, who ran the nuts and bolts section of the hardware store at the time but Aunt Peggy said she "couldn't see it even with Nanny Pearl's glasses on."
 
2020-06-30 2:40:57 PM  
FTFA: Now that the giant growth has been lifted from her body, a weight has been lifted from her shoulders.

I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure the ovaries are not in her shoulders.
 
2020-06-30 2:46:51 PM  

TWX: I know a woman that had to have five uterine cysts removed.  She had pictures.  Showed 'em to me like family.  Four of the same size and one smaller than the rest, Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe, and Wilbur, the runt of the litter.

She was not expecting to be able to have kids so kept this around as a joke until surprise, she and her husband conceived despite the damage she'd suffered.  She retired that particular joke after that.


Are they certain the kid was their and not the sentient offspring of the cysts?
 
2020-06-30 2:48:36 PM  
Nine years ago my mother had surgery to remove a malignant 12lb ovarian tumor. She had been complaining of pain and discomfort to her OBGYN for a long while but the man was so incompetent that he somehow didn't realize this giant mass was in the place where her ovary should be - there really are some terrible doctors in the world, but thankfully he's not among them any longer, his practice closed soon after, can't imagine why.

The tumor was actually found by her nephrologist during an ultrasound. Size of a basketball but somehow was fully contained and hadn't metastasized, which was amazing. It looked not dissimilar to the cyst in the linked article, but a bit gnarlier. Mom named it Elvira, because it was the ugliest name she knew.
 
2020-06-30 2:52:24 PM  

SLOBODAN: I bet that smelled nice.....


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 2:57:43 PM  

LessO2: FTFA: Now that the giant growth has been lifted from her body, a weight has been lifted from her shoulders.

I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure the ovaries are not in her shoulders.


when you're the size where you don't notice a 50lb cyst, are you sure about that?
 
2020-06-30 3:00:34 PM  

peachpicker: Nine years ago my mother had surgery to remove a malignant 12lb ovarian tumor. She had been complaining of pain and discomfort to her OBGYN for a long while but the man was so incompetent that he somehow didn't realize this giant mass was in the place where her ovary should be - there really are some terrible doctors in the world, but thankfully he's not among them any longer, his practice closed soon after, can't imagine why.

The tumor was actually found by her nephrologist during an ultrasound. Size of a basketball but somehow was fully contained and hadn't metastasized, which was amazing. It looked not dissimilar to the cyst in the linked article, but a bit gnarlier. Mom named it Elvira, because it was the ugliest name she knew.


There is a long-standing problem in medicine where too many doctors don't listen to female and/or non-white patients.  I know someone who almost died because her doctor refused to believe that she had an infected abscess in her jaw, even after the abscess burst and caused necrosis.
 
2020-06-30 3:09:17 PM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: AeAe: I wonder if you can fry that up and eat it with a little salsa ..

/ gross

Okay, if that's the first place you went, you need to go sit in the corner and think about your life choices.

::hork::


I've been watching Hannibal recently (now on Netflix!) and they eat all sorts of stuff in that show.
 
2020-06-30 3:21:24 PM  

SLOBODAN: I bet that smelled nice.....


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 3:32:57 PM  

anfrind: peachpicker: Nine years ago my mother had surgery to remove a malignant 12lb ovarian tumor. She had been complaining of pain and discomfort to her OBGYN for a long while but the man was so incompetent that he somehow didn't realize this giant mass was in the place where her ovary should be - there really are some terrible doctors in the world, but thankfully he's not among them any longer, his practice closed soon after, can't imagine why.

The tumor was actually found by her nephrologist during an ultrasound. Size of a basketball but somehow was fully contained and hadn't metastasized, which was amazing. It looked not dissimilar to the cyst in the linked article, but a bit gnarlier. Mom named it Elvira, because it was the ugliest name she knew.

There is a long-standing problem in medicine where too many doctors don't listen to female and/or non-white patients.  I know someone who almost died because her doctor refused to believe that she had an infected abscess in her jaw, even after the abscess burst and caused necrosis.


It's definitely true. If Serena Williams can't get her doctors to take her postpartum health issues seriously, I don't know how everyday women who aren't top-of-their-sport professional athletes are able to. It's absurd.

https://www.vox.com/identities/2018/1​/​11/16879984/serena-williams-childbirth​-scare-black-women
 
2020-06-30 4:12:20 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Diogenes: I know two women who had abdominal cysts like that.  Also benign, thank goodness.  One was my HS girlfriend.  15 lbs.

Your highschool girlfriend was a 15 lb. cyst?


At least he HAD a high school girlfriend!
 
2020-06-30 4:16:50 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Diogenes: I know two women who had abdominal cysts like that.  Also benign, thank goodness.  One was my HS girlfriend.  15 lbs.

Your highschool girlfriend was a 15 lb. cyst?


Did you think I was gonna pay the full price for my prom date?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 4:23:36 PM  
Actually, here's a scan of an old photo I kept in my wallet (so the quality is shiatty).

Her name is Cinamon (no joke, and that was the spelling).

Fark user imageView Full Size


Post cyst removal by about a year.  She was awesome.

Tie and cumberbund were maroon to match her dress.  Her corsage was pink carnation with a red rose embedded in the center.

I now return you to gross medical story stuff.
 
2020-06-30 4:35:56 PM  

Salmon: LessO2: FTFA: Now that the giant growth has been lifted from her body, a weight has been lifted from her shoulders.

I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure the ovaries are not in her shoulders.

when you're the size where you don't notice a 50lb cyst, are you sure about that?


The patient absolutely noticed. It was the doctor who decided to write it off as fat rather than exploring the cause of her pain until the thing was the size of a preschooler.
 
2020-06-30 4:39:05 PM  

Diogenes: Actually, here's a scan of an old photo I kept in my wallet (so the quality is shiatty).

Her name is Cinamon (no joke, and that was the spelling).

[Fark user image image 210x320]

Post cyst removal by about a year.  She was awesome.

Tie and cumberbund were maroon to match her dress.  Her corsage was pink carnation with a red rose embedded in the center.

I now return you to gross medical story stuff.


Intrigued. So where is she now?
 
2020-06-30 4:43:15 PM  

gregario: Diogenes: Actually, here's a scan of an old photo I kept in my wallet (so the quality is shiatty).

Her name is Cinamon (no joke, and that was the spelling).

[Fark user image image 210x320]

Post cyst removal by about a year.  She was awesome.

Tie and cumberbund were maroon to match her dress.  Her corsage was pink carnation with a red rose embedded in the center.

I now return you to gross medical story stuff.

Intrigued. So where is she now?


It's been a long time (late 80s).  I've really lost touch.  Last time I checked she was in Cali.

We grew up in NJ.  Then I went to Colgate and she went to FIT in NYC.

I came out of the closet in my late 20s.  Not that it matters at this point and I doubt she'd care.  She had a good soul.  Wild, too.  Raised sheep and did 4A in the daytime, snuck out to see Billy Idol in Philly at night.
 
2020-06-30 4:46:57 PM  

Walker: I'm gonna name it Lump.


The Presidents of the USA - Lump
Youtube _sj_U6vObUA
 
2020-06-30 6:03:21 PM  

Yellow Beard: FTA "she kept getting asked a question no woman wants to hear: Are you pregnant?"

I was told to never ask a woman that unless I could see the baby sticking out of her vagina. Was good advice then and still is now.


Bruh in like 9th grade we had a teacher who looked 7 months pregnant and someone in class asked her when she was due. She looked him dead in the eye and said she had a condition that caused her intestines to knot and the bulge was  basically a giant hernia.

I felt so bad for her, I've never forgotten it. And I will never ever ever ask anyone when they're due unless they tell me they're pregnant.
 
2020-06-30 7:13:23 PM  

Butterflew: Yellow Beard: FTA "she kept getting asked a question no woman wants to hear: Are you pregnant?"

I was told to never ask a woman that unless I could see the baby sticking out of her vagina. Was good advice then and still is now.

Bruh in like 9th grade we had a teacher who looked 7 months pregnant and someone in class asked her when she was due. She looked him dead in the eye and said she had a condition that caused her intestines to knot and the bulge was  basically a giant hernia.

I felt so bad for her, I've never forgotten it. And I will never ever ever ask anyone when they're due unless they tell me they're pregnant.


So she lied?

/jk
 
2020-06-30 8:09:10 PM  

Murflette: With helpful before and after pics of the woman for comparison....


They never do that. They could crop out or blur the face if they want. But sheesh, that would make an impressive before and after weight-loss photo comparison. Well, I hope it would, if you can't notice the difference that would be unfortunate.
 
2020-06-30 9:01:21 PM  

Diogenes: Her name is Cinamon (no joke, and that was the spelling).


I know you're not joking.  Anyone who knows a bit of trivia about Neil Gaiman's Sandman comics knows that Cinamon Hadley (yes, same spelling of the first name) was the visual inspiration for Death.I ... don't suppose that was her, was it?  Cinamon Hadley was also an aspiring fashion designer.  And the spelling of the first name is so unusual that it makes me wonder.Sadly, Cinamon Hadley died of colon cancer in 2018.
 
2020-06-30 10:41:08 PM  

Diogenes: Actually, here's a scan of an old photo I kept in my wallet (so the quality is shiatty).

Her name is Cinamon (no joke, and that was the spelling).

[Fark user image 210x320]

Post cyst removal by about a year.  She was awesome.

Tie and cumberbund were maroon to match her dress.  Her corsage was pink carnation with a red rose embedded in the center.

I now return you to gross medical story stuff.


You guys were adorable.
 
2020-07-01 9:04:33 AM  

anfrind: peachpicker: Nine years ago my mother had surgery to remove a malignant 12lb ovarian tumor. She had been complaining of pain and discomfort to her OBGYN for a long while but the man was so incompetent that he somehow didn't realize this giant mass was in the place where her ovary should be - there really are some terrible doctors in the world, but thankfully he's not among them any longer, his practice closed soon after, can't imagine why.

The tumor was actually found by her nephrologist during an ultrasound. Size of a basketball but somehow was fully contained and hadn't metastasized, which was amazing. It looked not dissimilar to the cyst in the linked article, but a bit gnarlier. Mom named it Elvira, because it was the ugliest name she knew.

There is a long-standing problem in medicine where too many doctors don't listen to female and/or non-white patients.  I know someone who almost died because her doctor refused to believe that she had an infected abscess in her jaw, even after the abscess burst and caused necrosis.


Not only do they not listen, but any woman who has a large middle is told "lose the weight.".  Went through 2 YEARS of this jerk telling me I was just fat, stop eating cookies.  He was with another patient one day, his nurse practitioner was with me, bumped into my stomach (hard as a rock), thumped it, and said "honey, ain't no way that's fat",and ordered an ultrasound ASAP.  Over his objections.  28 lb cyst removed 5 days later.

And people wonder why I won't go to a doctor these days.
 
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