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(CBS News)   "Congratulations, it's a happy, healthy, bouncing 50-pound cyst"   (cbsnews.com) divider line
    More: Weird, Surgery, Weight loss, Obesity, Dieting, Kayla Rahn, Jackson Hospital, dieting efforts, weight gain  
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3473 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2020 at 1:50 PM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-06-30 1:58:51 PM  
18 votes:

Diogenes: I know two women who had abdominal cysts like that.  Also benign, thank goodness.  One was my HS girlfriend.  15 lbs.


Your highschool girlfriend was a 15 lb. cyst?
 
TWX [TotalFark]
2020-06-30 9:32:34 AM  
11 votes:
I know a woman that had to have five uterine cysts removed.  She had pictures.  Showed 'em to me like family.  Four of the same size and one smaller than the rest, Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe, and Wilbur, the runt of the litter.

She was not expecting to be able to have kids so kept this around as a joke until surprise, she and her husband conceived despite the damage she'd suffered.  She retired that particular joke after that.
 
2020-06-30 1:58:37 PM  
6 votes:
My Aunt Peggy had a uterine cyst, and it kept getting bigger and bigger. Incidentally, after about 9 months, it went away and we were all introduced to cousin Timothy (which was also the same name as Aunt Peggy's dachsund). He developed normally despite Aunt Peggy's cigarette smoking and got pretty high up on the carnival circuit. Timothy (the dog) went out one morning and didn't come back. Uncle Walter later said he may have gotten too close to the pond, but we were told he ran away and joined the carnival.
 
2020-06-30 2:11:50 PM  
5 votes:
i want to buy a gift for the cyst, but is a blue or a pink garbage bag appropriate?
 
2020-06-30 2:10:56 PM  
5 votes:

Bartleby the Scrivener: My Aunt Peggy had a uterine cyst, and it kept getting bigger and bigger. Incidentally, after about 9 months, it went away and we were all introduced to cousin Timothy (which was also the same name as Aunt Peggy's dachsund). He developed normally despite Aunt Peggy's cigarette smoking and got pretty high up on the carnival circuit. Timothy (the dog) went out one morning and didn't come back. Uncle Walter later said he may have gotten too close to the pond, but we were told he ran away and joined the carnival.


Fark user imageView Full Size


What Aunt Peggy may look like
 
2020-06-30 2:09:30 PM  
5 votes:

Yellow Beard: FTA "she kept getting asked a question no woman wants to hear: Are you pregnant?"

I was told to never ask a woman that unless I could see the baby sticking out of her vagina. Was good advice then and still is now.


Would that advice cover different phrasings, like "Some women retain water. Are you retaining toddler?"
 
2020-06-30 2:40:57 PM  
4 votes:
FTFA: Now that the giant growth has been lifted from her body, a weight has been lifted from her shoulders.

I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure the ovaries are not in her shoulders.
 
2020-06-30 2:05:25 PM  
3 votes:

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Diogenes: I know two women who had abdominal cysts like that.  Also benign, thank goodness.  One was my HS girlfriend.  15 lbs.

Your highschool girlfriend was a 15 lb. cyst?


Different strokes.
 
2020-06-30 1:59:43 PM  
3 votes:
FTA "she kept getting asked a question no woman wants to hear: Are you pregnant?"

I was told to never ask a woman that unless I could see the baby sticking out of her vagina. Was good advice then and still is now.
 
2020-06-30 1:55:34 PM  
3 votes:
I'm gonna name it Lump.
 
2020-06-30 1:55:05 PM  
3 votes:
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 4:46:57 PM  
2 votes:

Walker: I'm gonna name it Lump.


The Presidents of the USA - Lump
Youtube _sj_U6vObUA
 
2020-06-30 3:21:24 PM  
2 votes:

SLOBODAN: I bet that smelled nice.....


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 4:16:50 PM  
1 vote:

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Diogenes: I know two women who had abdominal cysts like that.  Also benign, thank goodness.  One was my HS girlfriend.  15 lbs.

Your highschool girlfriend was a 15 lb. cyst?


Did you think I was gonna pay the full price for my prom date?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 4:12:20 PM  
1 vote:

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Diogenes: I know two women who had abdominal cysts like that.  Also benign, thank goodness.  One was my HS girlfriend.  15 lbs.

Your highschool girlfriend was a 15 lb. cyst?


At least he HAD a high school girlfriend!
 
2020-06-30 2:52:24 PM  
1 vote:

SLOBODAN: I bet that smelled nice.....


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 2:30:49 PM  
1 vote:

Nobody in Peculiar: What Aunt Peggy may look like


She and Uncle Walter bore an uncanny resemblance to each other, which may have been one reason they ended up separating. Well, that and "the harlot Charlene." Notably, cousin Timothy looked a little more like Grandy, who ran the nuts and bolts section of the hardware store at the time but Aunt Peggy said she "couldn't see it even with Nanny Pearl's glasses on."
 
2020-06-30 2:18:39 PM  
1 vote:

some_beer_drinker: [thumbs.gfycat.com image 520x293] [View Full Size image _x_]


Dammit... that scene disgusted me enough at age 12, but I really didn't need to see how well it held up a few decades later.
 
2020-06-30 2:07:59 PM  
1 vote:
Pardon me, but I am going to question the integrity of the headline until I actually see video of it bouncing.
 
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