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(Boing Boing)   Or you could just buy non runny-ass peanut butter   (boingboing.net) divider line
    More: Amusing, Affiliate marketing, Peanut butter, stirring rod slips, Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, uses cookies, droplets of hot oil, rubber hole, peanut butter  
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2417 clicks; posted to Geek » and Food » on 29 Jun 2020 at 11:19 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-06-29 11:28:51 PM  
27 votes:
FTFA:  The stirring rod slips through a rubber hole in the lid, and when I remove it, the rubber hole squeegees the peanut butter off so there's no mess.

lh3.googleusercontent.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-30 1:09:20 AM  
13 votes:

Mister Buttons: Bowen: edmo: Not as healthy subby.

Also not as tasty. I can't eat Jif or Skippy anymore.

[teddie.com image 291x321]
/found the masshole

Why does the teddy bear mascot look like he's trying to seduce me into bed next to him?


Thanks, Smokey!
Youtube HNMq8XS4LhE
 
2020-06-29 11:37:52 PM  
10 votes:
It's better than runny ass-peanut butter.
 
2020-06-30 6:07:59 AM  
9 votes:
The best peanut butter is entirely natural, no machine processing.  Feed raw peanuts to civets and in a few hours you will have soft, warm, all-natural chunky peanut butter.
 
2020-06-30 4:51:21 AM  
9 votes:
I also apparently like "chunky" women. I never had sex with a woman who weighed less than me.  I think serious acne from 12-21 years old screwed with my head.

/Fark:  Cheaper than therapy.
 
2020-06-30 12:44:47 AM  
9 votes:

Bowen: edmo: Not as healthy subby.

Also not as tasty. I can't eat Jif or Skippy anymore.

[teddie.com image 291x321]
/found the masshole


Why does the teddy bear mascot look like he's trying to seduce me into bed next to him?
 
2020-06-30 5:54:13 PM  
8 votes:

Gough: Jus Arachides


I keep seeing "Just Arachnids"
 
2020-06-30 12:02:34 AM  
8 votes:
Mmmm, runny ass-peanut butter.
 
2020-06-29 9:39:50 PM  
8 votes:
xkcd_sweet_car.jpg
 
2020-06-30 2:25:26 AM  
6 votes:
imgs.xkcd.comView Full Size


/Whatever floats your goat, subby.
 
2020-06-29 10:05:17 PM  
6 votes:

edmo: Not as healthy subby.


Also not as tasty. I can't eat Jif or Skippy anymore.

teddie.comView Full Size

/found the masshole
 
2020-06-30 5:24:21 AM  
5 votes:
Couple summers ago, we had a power outage. It was hotter than Paris just out of prison, like 114 degrees. I was hungry, so I went for the PB and it was liquid. LIQUID. I held in my hands the world's nastiest looking (but best smelling) personal lubricant.

I would have chugged it but I was worried it might solidify inside of my throat, thus causing a medical examiner to call all his friends over and say "Holy f*ck, this guy is packed to the gills with peanut butter. Did he forget how to swallow? How do you do that?"

Learn one thing: Deprive people of schadenfreude.
 
2020-06-30 12:17:04 PM  
4 votes:

Snubnose: There is an acceptable amount of bug parts in peanut butter according to the FDA. Acceptable to whom?


Certainly not to the bugs I'd imagine.
 
2020-06-30 10:30:09 AM  
4 votes:

Chief Superintendent Lookout: Uhhh, no one has mentioned not cleaning the utensils before using them.  That seriously made me twitchy, and I would not be eating any of that batch that was stirred.


It really bugged me, but I didn't want to complain and seem like a weirdo.
 
2020-06-30 10:00:06 AM  
4 votes:
It's not a nut, it's a legume!
Ya'll are eatin' legume butter.


/ runs from thread.
 
2020-06-30 12:44:35 AM  
4 votes:
Subby wants ass peanut butter?  With or without corn?
 
2020-06-30 11:56:10 AM  
3 votes:

Vermithrax Perjorative: It's better than runny ass-peanut butter.


The elk around here have ass-peanuts.  Lots and lots.
 
2020-06-30 9:19:33 AM  
2 votes:

Snubnose: There is an acceptable amount of bug parts in peanut butter according to the FDA. Acceptable to whom?


Thats true of many processed foods.  Hot Dogs are a good example.  Most bugs are edible and contain proportionately more protein per ounce.
 
2020-06-29 8:44:36 PM  
2 votes:
Not as healthy subby.
 
2020-06-30 7:45:06 PM  
1 vote:

PickleBarrel: Gough: Jus Arachides

I keep seeing "Just Arachnids"


At the cottage, it's generally referred to as "only spiders" peanut butter.
 
2020-06-30 2:19:23 PM  
1 vote:

anuran: inglixthemad: edmo: Not as healthy subby.

Exactly. Real peanut butter, without all the additives, is one of the best "industrial" foods available. We screwed that up by adding the stuff to keep it from separating on the shelf. Take a few minutes to mix it up, it isn't rocket science.

I'm less worried about emulsifiers than the icing sugar and salt lick most brands put in there.


Don't buy shiatty peanut butter, and those emulsifiers are usually shiatty for your body. Like I said, peanut butter is a great food. The stuff is high in protein, rich in healthy fats, et al., basically zero issues until you add emulsifiers and so on. Good peanut butter will never have sugar added, it won't need sugar. Good peanut butter will only have a small amount of salt, less than salted (cow milk cream) butter, added. They also spend a bit more on the peanuts, so the good stuff will cost more, to get the right amount of fats. This is important because it dictates how creamy the peanut butter will be, and how well it will avoid separation after mixing it at home when left at room temperature.
 
2020-06-30 12:58:25 PM  
1 vote:

ski9600: Vermithrax Perjorative: It's better than runny ass-peanut butter.

The elk around here have ass-peanuts.  Lots and lots.


Botanically, those are not nuts, those are berries.

Dingleberries to be more precise.
 
2020-06-30 8:14:07 AM  
1 vote:
There is an acceptable amount of bug parts in peanut butter according to the FDA. Acceptable to whom?
 
2020-06-30 1:58:45 AM  
1 vote:

Mister Buttons: Bowen: edmo: Not as healthy subby.

Also not as tasty. I can't eat Jif or Skippy anymore.

[teddie.com image 291x321]
/found the masshole

Why does the teddy bear mascot look like he's trying to seduce me into bed next to him?


Ummm maybe because he IS? Frisky Teddy yeah? 😜
 
2020-06-30 1:56:06 AM  
1 vote:

johnny_vegas: FTFA:  The stirring rod slips through a rubber hole in the lid, and when I remove it, the rubber hole squeegees the peanut butter off so there's no mess.

[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 356x512]


Some things just strike a chord. Embrace it, don't let it be weird 🤪🤣
 
2020-06-29 11:49:32 PM  
1 vote:

CFitzsimmons: Jiff, Skippy, et al are all too sweet for me.


Try Simply Jif. It has less sugar, and no corn syrup.
 
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