Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Wikipedia)   Who cut the cheese? OK, who came up with that saying? How bad was that cheese that cutting it made it worse? What's your favorite idiom or your favorite story behind an idiom?   ( divider line
    More: Survey, Phrase, Collocation, Linguistics, Set phrase, Idiom, Lexical units, Word, figurative idioms  
•       •       •

235 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 29 Jun 2020 at 9:41 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2020-06-29 6:38:13 PM  
6 votes:
"riding the cotton pony"
2020-06-29 10:35:36 PM  
5 votes:
Two houses away from us, catty-cornered and behind us, was a yard with a great tree house in it. Very secure. Easy to get into. Therefore it was widely used even though it belonged to a family that had no kids. One summer afternoon, there were 3 of us in it. Me, my younger brother, and John Ju******, a slightly older kid in the neighborhood whom we avoided because he should have been off playing with guys his own age. There were two kids in the neighborhood, the Vander******** Brothers, who had vaguely hoodlum tendencies. We hadn't noticed them lingering around but once the three of us got in the tree house they started chucking dirt clods and rocks at us. They were accurate, too, so we were stuck. At almost the same time, Ju****** developed really foul flatulence. SBD. Horrific stuff. For years afterwards, between my brother and me it became the Gold Standard by which farts were measured.  However, we were stuck. The Vander********** Brothers were on the ground with a seemingly unlimited supply of rocks and dirt clods. If we even stuck a head out of a window, we were likely to get beaned. Speaking of beans, J*****  was The Human Hindenburg. He'd shoot the Kaiser, and we'd have to stick a head out of a window for a brief respite or stew in his foulness.

This was around 60 years ago now and I can no longer remember how the situation resolved itself.  I wish the story had a dramatic arc, but getting stuck in a tree house with a fart-filled 13 year old is not the stuff of legend.
2020-06-29 10:45:22 PM  
4 votes:
I remember a childhood friend s Pop telling another friend of mine after losing 50 lbs.

If you lose anymore weight you are gonna fall thru your ass*ole and hang yourself.
2020-06-30 10:59:28 AM  
3 votes:
I was in a bar talking to an old man, and we were telling stories. I was talking about how one time we met some girls, some Ukrainian strippers who just gotten off work, but I suddenly had diarrhea and had to leave, walking ever so carefully to find a toilet.
He said "You mean you had the 'ol 'Mississippi Two-Step'?"

I've called it that since that day. Mississippi Two-Steppin.
2020-06-30 9:11:18 AM  
3 votes:
Couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
2020-06-30 3:46:03 AM  
3 votes:
"mother's day in a turkish bath." it appears in a book by Len Deighton and I have no idea what it means.
2020-06-29 11:20:02 PM  
3 votes:
"You look like you got shot at & missed, and shiat at & hit."

-friend's grandpa.
2020-06-30 6:39:18 PM  
2 votes: Full Size
2020-06-30 6:52:32 AM  
2 votes:
"Sounded like a couple skeletons fornicating on a tin roof"
2020-06-30 4:21:13 AM  
2 votes:

Squid_for_Brains: Too dumb to know shiat from Shinola.

[Fark user image 425x425]

I always wondered how the Shinola people felt about that.
2020-06-30 12:04:45 AM  
2 votes:
 Now hold your horses, I thought this would be a piece of cake but my head is in the clouds and I can't think of a single one as it's all Greek to me. So pardon my French as I chew the fat and try and throw a wrench in the works. Maybe if I wasn't under the weather and had more resources out here in my neck of the woods I wouldn't be dead in the water with my attempt.
2020-06-29 11:17:06 PM  
2 votes:
I never understood "As easy as shooting fish in a barrel", it may be easy, but you would ruin a perfectly good barrel, just net the darn fish, it cannot go very far.
2020-06-29 11:13:09 PM  
2 votes:
Too dumb to know shiat from Shinola.

Fark user imageView Full Size
2020-06-29 9:22:50 PM  
2 votes:
His elevator doesn't go to the top.
2020-06-29 9:06:46 PM  
2 votes:
All hat, no cattle.
2020-06-29 8:34:46 PM  
2 votes:

it's lisa e.: "riding the cotton pony"

Damn, I had to google that.

/ so old
2020-06-29 6:14:18 PM  
2 votes:
Two and a half men - Who cut the cheese
Youtube G-CNOFFud9k
2020-06-30 9:04:59 PM  
1 vote:
Finer than frogs hair . WTF does that even mean ?
2020-06-30 1:43:36 PM  
1 vote:
My dad had a couple.

Looks like two monkeys trying to fark a football.
He talks like a man with a Dixie Cup a$$hole.

/never understood the latter
//not sure I want to
///not sure why the rule says 3
2020-06-30 12:41:20 PM  
1 vote:
Ridden hard and put away wet.
2020-06-30 8:20:13 AM  
1 vote:
A friend from Greece advised me.... "Don't pee on the grapes."
2020-06-30 7:49:18 AM  
1 vote:
Hotter than two fat chicks.


Hotter than a freshly farked fox in a forest fire.
2020-06-30 4:24:56 AM  
1 vote:
I see subby is not familiar with Corsican cheeses.

i1.wp.comView Full Size

(What happens to this particular cheese is a memorable moment in this story, but too long to explain or copy here.  Suffice it to say that some cheeses are truly dangerous even before they're cut.)
2020-06-30 3:04:26 AM  
1 vote:
I always thought "glazing your knuckles" and "waxing the dolphin" were pretty hilarious.

/the idioms
//not the act
///well, ok, sometimes the act
2020-06-29 11:55:40 PM  
1 vote:
I'd be interested in finding out where "Jesus Christ on a bicycle" came from, but only enough to post about it, not enough to go actually looking.
2020-06-29 11:25:49 PM  
1 vote:
"The shiat hits the fan" has to come from the age of electricity. shiat hitting this fan would be gross, but not catastrophic:
Fark user imageView Full Size

/poop trifecta complete
2020-06-29 11:11:17 PM  
1 vote:
Can't be arsed.
2020-06-29 9:56:10 PM  
1 vote:
I got here via shanks' mare
2020-06-29 9:08:56 PM  
1 vote:

it's lisa e.: "riding the cotton pony"

My neighbor lady used to say that. This was in the early 70's.
2020-06-29 8:41:58 PM  
1 vote:
Freakazoid - Frenching With Freakazoid
Youtube yGqxb3vLL1A
Displayed 30 of 30 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.