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(WTOV9 Steubenville-Wheeling)   Everyone's favorite example of what not to do if you win the lottery gets his last bit of bad luck   (wtov9.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Powerball, Historic Powerball winner Jack Whittaker, Christmas night, Powerball jackpot, family member, single ticket, largest jackpot, construction companies  
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8112 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2020 at 12:41 AM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-06-30 12:47:49 AM  
19 votes:
At least he didn't buy a tiger sanctuary.
 
2020-06-30 2:03:41 AM  
17 votes:
Nice to hear so many sensible answers to the lotto question on Fark.

I'd have the Real Doll people build me a king sized bed made out of boobies and sail off into the sunset on my mega yacht looking for adventure.
 
2020-06-30 12:53:25 AM  
16 votes:

Omnivorous: That was a terrible short story.  Shirley there's a longer, Fark-approved version of what really happened to him?


He died
 
2020-06-30 12:59:03 AM  
15 votes:

Madman drummers bummers: Omnivorous: That was a terrible short story.  Shirley there's a longer, Fark-approved version of what really happened to him?

Not Fark-approved and still doesn't tell what he died of, but at least it's got more of them fancy word-things we all seem to like.

https://wvmetronews.com/2020/06/29/fam​ous-powerball-winner-has-died/


Gah! And I meant to add:

...and stop calling me Shirley.

/ it was RIGHT THERE.
 
2020-06-30 1:35:09 AM  
9 votes:
I'd rather have $1 million in cash that NOBODY knows about than $10 million that everybody knows about.

If it's $100 million, fark 'em, I don't care who knows. I'll build a castle with a moat. Filled with alligators.
 
2020-06-29 5:40:05 PM  
7 votes:
Died from embarrassment after seeing himself in the mirror wearing that dork hat.
 
2020-06-30 2:30:55 AM  
6 votes:
I should be so lucky to make it to 73 after winning tghat much money.  I'd probably blow most of it on cocaine and viagra and be found dead from exhaustion surrounded by teenage hookers  in nurses uniforms.
 
2020-06-30 2:46:40 AM  
4 votes:

Huck And Molly Ziegler: I'd rather have $1 million in cash that NOBODY knows about than $10 million that everybody knows about.

If it's $100 million, fark 'em, I don't care who knows. I'll build a castle with a moat. Filled with alligators.


Awful polite of you, crocodiles are more aggressive.
 
2020-06-30 1:16:55 AM  
4 votes:

chucknasty: Omnivorous: That was a terrible short story.  Shirley there's a longer, Fark-approved version of what really happened to him?

maybe there is sarcasm going over my head but here you go:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Whi​ttaker_(lottery_winner)


It does sound like he's not exactly the sharpest pencil in the box:

"On August 5, 2003, less than a year after Whittaker won the lottery, thieves broke into his car while it was parked at a strip club in Cross Lanes, West Virginia. The thieves made away with $545,000 in cash that Whittaker carried around in a suitcase. When asked why he would carry that much money around with him, Whittaker responded, "Because I can."
< ... >
"On January 25, 2004, thieves once again broke into his car, this time making off with an estimated $200,000 in cash"
< ... >
On January 11, 2007, a legal complaint against Whittaker alleged he claimed that on September 11, 2006, thieves took all of his money. The thieves, according to the account, went to 12 branches of the City National Bank and cashed 12 checks."
< ... >

"On December 2, 2016, around 7:00 a.m. Whittaker's home in Bland County, Virginia was reported to be on fire. When firefighters arrived, the home was fully engulfed, and the house was deemed a total loss. Whittaker's wife was home when the fire broke out, but she was able to make it out safely and no injuries were reported. Whittaker stated that the home was not insured."
 
2020-06-30 12:46:57 AM  
3 votes:
It's like rain on your wedding day.
 
2020-06-30 1:41:05 AM  
2 votes:

Porous Horace: I'd do what I do now but with better coffee and cleaner clothes.


This.

And, better porn and dope and booze
 
2020-06-30 12:50:19 AM  
2 votes:
That was a terrible short story.  Shirley there's a longer, Fark-approved version of what really happened to him?
 
2020-06-30 6:29:25 AM  
1 vote:

Mad Canadian: I know a guy who has won high 7/low 8 figure lotteries twice.

Sure, he says the money is nice, but the stuff he's been through because of it.

His brother-in-law on his (now ex-) wife's side burned his house down, and expected the money to rebuild it.

With a couple of his family members dying of drug overdoses thrown in, I kinda don't want to play the lottery...


Meh.
People die.
 
2020-06-30 6:15:35 AM  
1 vote:
Leave it to the depressed, drug addled fools if Fark to turn winning the lottery into a bad thing.
 
2020-06-30 4:36:22 AM  
1 vote:
Came here for the ar15 writeup, leaving still broke.
 
2020-06-30 2:28:57 AM  
1 vote:

mrparks: waxbeans: mrparks: "He also donated millions through the Jack Whittaker Foundation."

That is decidedly un-lottery winner behaviour.

?
Shell company, much?

Aren't they a by-product of nut farming?


🤔🧐😆😆😆
 
2020-06-30 2:23:04 AM  
1 vote:

waxbeans: mrparks: "He also donated millions through the Jack Whittaker Foundation."

That is decidedly un-lottery winner behaviour.

?
Shell company, much?


Aren't they a by-product of nut farming?
 
2020-06-30 2:01:12 AM  
1 vote:
I hate how in the US, your identity has to be revealed to the public when you win the lotto. That's like telling all the criminals "Here's a ripe juicy target for you, now fark 'em up!" If I ever win, I'd go wear make-up and put fake deformities before going to their office.
 
2020-06-30 1:40:16 AM  
1 vote:
I'd do what I do now but with better coffee and cleaner clothes.
 
2020-06-30 12:57:59 AM  
1 vote:

Omnivorous: That was a terrible short story.  Shirley there's a longer, Fark-approved version of what really happened to him?


No sorry that's all going into the script
 
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