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(MEL Magazine)   An oral history of The Onion's iconic 9/11 issue. Come for the towers burning, stay for the hilarity   (melmagazine.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, The Onion, Satire, Carol Kolb, new issue, ambitious East Coast people, Comedy, flood of think pieces, Todd Hanson  
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6504 clicks; posted to Main » and Entertainment » on 29 Jun 2020 at 3:16 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-06-29 2:00:50 PM  
God bless the Onion.
 
2020-06-29 2:06:21 PM  
In my memory, "American Life Turns Into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Move" was replaced by Michael Bay.  False memory, but it still works.
 
2020-06-29 3:22:21 PM  
They interview the guy that had the "God angrily clarifies 'Don't kill' rule" article and he claims that's the one people remember the most. It's not even on the cover.
 
2020-06-29 3:22:50 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-29 3:23:15 PM  
It was when we could laugh again.  Yes, the animated gif of Osama getting hit by a paper airplane and crashing down was funny and Hulk Hogan made me yearn for a time when his antics weren't probably fueled by bad steroids...  Hang on. There's a giant wrestler in my driveway.
 
2020-06-29 3:24:40 PM  
Great stuff. Everything the Onion does is instantly a classic.
 
2020-06-29 3:27:30 PM  
We really needed that issue.
 
2020-06-29 3:27:54 PM  

tricycleracer: [Fark user image 425x239]


Subway actually had to deal with a lot of angry complaints about that from people who thought it was their ad.

Of course, they did have other ad campaigns that caused them much more trouble...
 
2020-06-29 3:28:25 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: It was when we could laugh again.  Yes, the animated gif of Osama getting hit by a paper airplane and crashing down was funny and Hulk Hogan made me yearn for a time when his antics weren't probably fueled by bad steroids...  Hang on. There's a giant wrestler in my driveway.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-29 3:29:13 PM  
Oral history is good. So is drunk history. We should combine the two to create a history of drunk oral.

Anyways, I loved seeing The Onion story about the hijackers awakening in hell, and not understanding why.

I also miss Herbert Kornfeld.
 
2020-06-29 3:31:10 PM  
I remember the 9/11 point counter point

We Must Retaliate With Blind Rage
vs.
We Must Retaliate With Measured, Focused Rage
 
2020-06-29 3:39:55 PM  
Hanson: I remember one headline in particular that was really great as an Onion headline. It was really perfect and it was the sort of joke we would normally make, but we were like, "This isn't a normal issue, and so, we just can't do it." The headline was "America Stronger Than Ever Says Quadragon Officials." Of course, the idea being that one whole section of the Pentagon was missing. It was great for an Onion joke, but people died, so we just couldn't do that. Not in this issue.

Just as well, as yours truly in 2001 would have told them the proper replacement for "Penta-" would be "Tetra-".
 
2020-06-29 3:40:26 PM  
I still have my Copy,  The were still publishing printed copies in Chicago at the time.   It was a magnificent, emotional, slightly cathartic experience reading that for the first time
 
2020-06-29 3:41:10 PM  
Knock knock
 
2020-06-29 3:46:06 PM  
I remember seeing that online. It was raw, angry, and very cathartic - and exactly what I needed.
 
2020-06-29 3:52:01 PM  
...an important part of the broader cultural history surrounding 9/11.

That I've never heard of.
 
2020-06-29 4:00:10 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

I'll never forget this issue (pun not intended) because it's the only thing I've ever stolen. A couple of friends and I had made our way into Manhattan from Brooklyn, I can't remember why (a rock concert, maybe?). We stopped at the Virgin Megastore in Union Square, and I picked up this issue, intending to buy it. I wandered off on my own for a while and when my friends found me they had already bought some things and were anxious to get going. I completely forgot that I had the Onion on me and walked out without paying for it. Didn't realize until a while afterwards. Oops.

It's funny, I'm told I have a bad memory but those days and weeks immediately after the attacks are like burned into my brain.
 
2020-06-29 4:00:38 PM  
Salute to The Onion, miss grabbing copies of the paper while running appointments in Chicago.
 
2020-06-29 4:02:26 PM  
I've been reading the onion since the 90s when I was in high school. I would print articles from the website using a computer lab printer and share them at lunch.

Anyway, one day I went to print Bear Rapes Zookeeper (hard to find... no longer on the web) but the networked printer selection had been changed to one in an admin office. After oh, 10 attempts, I realized what had happened when an angry vice principal stormed into the lab clutching 10 copies of Bear Rapes Zookeeper.
 
2020-06-29 4:03:54 PM  

LowbrowDeluxe: Knock knock


Whose there?

(/I *know* where this is going!)
 
2020-06-29 4:05:50 PM  
I put together a news satire site, just because I could.  Make no mistake, The Onion was the first thing in my head as I was working on it.  And by that I mean, "There is no way in this universe I will ever be as funny and awesome as that site.  But I'm doing it anyway."

It's kind of like when I was young and playing music along the lines of Slayer, Testament, Anthrax, Morbid Angel, etc...  I could play along.  I could do things similar.  But there was no way I was ever going to be that awesome.
 
2020-06-29 4:06:01 PM  

TheDirtyNacho: I've been reading the onion since the 90s when I was in high school. I would print articles from the website using a computer lab printer and share them at lunch.

Anyway, one day I went to print Bear Rapes Zookeeper (hard to find... no longer on the web) but the networked printer selection had been changed to one in an admin office. After oh, 10 attempts, I realized what had happened when an angry vice principal stormed into the lab clutching 10 copies of Bear Rapes Zookeeper.


///\CSB
 
2020-06-29 4:07:58 PM  
FTA a headline they didn't run: "America Stronger Than Ever Says Quadragon Officials."

Definitely too soon at the time but I'm LOLing right now.
 
2020-06-29 4:07:59 PM  

trappedspirit: ...an important part of the broader cultural history surrounding 9/11.

That I've never heard of.


Publically announcing your ignorance again.  How quaint.
 
2020-06-29 4:08:48 PM  

Claude Ballse: LowbrowDeluxe: Knock knock

Whose there?

(/I *know* where this is going!)


9/11
 
2020-06-29 4:11:12 PM  
Rest Of Country Temporarily Feels Deep Affection For New York

That was my favorite. Just enough truth to make it funny. It was true for New Yorkers, too. Everyone was more or less cool to everyone else for a solid two months. It was weird. That first "move it, you asshole!" was like music.
 
2020-06-29 4:12:14 PM  
One of my favorites:

https://www.theonion.com/loved-ones-r​e​call-local-mans-cowardly-battle-with-c​ance-1819565052

And of course "Drugs Win Drug War" is a classic.
 
2020-06-29 4:22:32 PM  

Russ1642: They interview the guy that had the "God angrily clarifies 'Don't kill' rule" article and he claims that's the one people remember the most. It's not even on the cover.


That's the one I remember the most as well. I know I only read it online though.
 
2020-06-29 4:28:34 PM  

Paul Hackett: One of my favorites:

https://www.theonion.com/loved-ones-re​call-local-mans-cowardly-battle-with-c​ance-1819565052

And of course "Drugs Win Drug War" is a classic.


Actually my most favorite is their historical one regarding the start of World War I.....
 
2020-06-29 4:28:51 PM  

Claude Ballse: Oral history is good. So is drunk history. We should combine the two to create a history of drunk oral.

Anyways, I loved seeing The Onion story about the hijackers awakening in hell, and not understanding why.

I also miss Herbert Kornfeld.


Historic drunk oral is how I met my wife!
 
2020-06-29 4:31:54 PM  

LowbrowDeluxe: Claude Ballse: LowbrowDeluxe: Knock knock

Whose there?

(/I *know* where this is going!)

9/11


9/11 who?
 
2020-06-29 4:32:12 PM  
WA-
(cont. on page 2)
 
2020-06-29 4:35:45 PM  
Life was more awesome when The Onion still had paper copies available almost everywhere.  Go to the grocery store on a Friday, grab the latest Isthmus and The Onion, larf and learn.

/plus hey they usually had $2 off coupons @ pizza pit when others only had $1 off
 
2020-06-29 4:35:50 PM  
Heroic Pit Bull Journeys 2000 Miles To Attack Owner
 
2020-06-29 4:38:28 PM  

tmyk: Heroic Pit Bull Journeys 2000 Miles To Attack Owner


one of the earliest ones was: Wisconsin Changes State Anthem To "Lick It Up"

/it's funnier if you're from here  :-|
 
2020-06-29 4:40:57 PM  
I worked in a Tower and one of the World Fi building and I saw this after we relocated across the river and it was the first thing that made me laugh after 9/11. It was funny and it was right, "Holy farking shiat" is exactly how I felt.
 
2020-06-29 4:41:49 PM  

Claude Ballse: Oral history is good. So is drunk history. We should combine the two to create a history of drunk oral.

Anyways, I loved seeing The Onion story about the hijackers awakening in hell, and not understanding why.

I also miss Herbert Kornfeld.


he and T. Herman Zweibel
 
2020-06-29 4:42:39 PM  

Claude Ballse: LowbrowDeluxe: Claude Ballse: LowbrowDeluxe: Knock knock

Whose there?

(/I *know* where this is going!)

9/11

9/11 who?


YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!!!!!
 
2020-06-29 4:54:49 PM  
The headline "Holy Farking Shiat" should receive an exemption from the FCC to be used with reckless abandon. So far in 2020, it would have been used 563,267 times.
 
2020-06-29 4:55:42 PM  

kryptoknightmare: [Fark user image 425x487]
I'll never forget this issue (pun not intended) because it's the only thing I've ever stolen. A couple of friends and I had made our way into Manhattan from Brooklyn, I can't remember why (a rock concert, maybe?). We stopped at the Virgin Megastore in Union Square, and I picked up this issue, intending to buy it. I wandered off on my own for a while and when my friends found me they had already bought some things and were anxious to get going. I completely forgot that I had the Onion on me and walked out without paying for it. Didn't realize until a while afterwards. Oops.

It's funny, I'm told I have a bad memory but those days and weeks immediately after the attacks are like burned into my brain.


Wait, people who used to pick up printed copies of The Onion ... paid for them??
Am I a hardened thief or do things just work differently out west?
 
2020-06-29 4:55:47 PM  
The Onion is the only humor website that does not know the meaning of the words "too soon".
And I love them for it.
 
2020-06-29 4:57:12 PM  

SamFlagg: I remember the 9/11 point counter point

We Must Retaliate With Blind Rage
vs.
We Must Retaliate With Measured, Focused Rage


I thought for sure that they were right when they said we were gonna go nuclear over it.

/How many, and can I push the buttons?
 
2020-06-29 4:59:11 PM  

designwhore: Claude Ballse: Oral history is good. So is drunk history. We should combine the two to create a history of drunk oral.

Anyways, I loved seeing The Onion story about the hijackers awakening in hell, and not understanding why.

I also miss Herbert Kornfeld.

Historic drunk oral is how I met my wife!


That's how I met her too, I sobered up before the marriage thing, eh
 
2020-06-29 5:00:24 PM  
They couldn't make a site like The Onion today.
Too many people would be offended.
 
2020-06-29 5:01:03 PM  
Cheney and Rummey knew it was coming that day,
and made sure GW was reading to kids in Sarasota ((what could be more innocent?)
 
2020-06-29 5:03:53 PM  
For the record these are my top three Onion articles

#1 - I Got What America Needs Right Here (Jimmy Carter)
https://politics.theonion.com/i-got-w​h​at-america-needs-right-here-1819584452​

#2 - Kids, You Mother Is Ready To Start Farking Again (Karen Robertson)
https://www.theonion.com/kids-your-mo​t​her-is-ready-to-start-farking-again-18​19584612

#3 - Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell (Onion Staff)
https://www.theonion.com/hijackers-su​r​prised-to-find-selves-in-hell-18195661​62

Yours?
 
2020-06-29 5:04:31 PM  

gbv23: Cheney and Rummey knew it was coming that day,
and made sure GW was reading to kids in Sarasota ((what could be more innocent?)


Yeah, when I think "criminal mastermind", I think George W. Bush.
 
2020-06-29 5:05:54 PM  
I remember the headline for The Onion being "Holy Farking shiat" over a picture of the smoking Twin Towers. I remeber after watching news and reading on the Internet (every news site seemed to have crashed) and listening to the radio about what was  going on that I needed a break and headed to The Onion. Did not expect there to be any 9/11 related humor, but it was there and it brought a minute of relief.

Also, The Onion is how I first heard of FARK. I had one of those daily calendars and one was about ... I can't remember exactly, maybe how people waste time at work??? And surfing FARK.com was on there, so I checked it out.
 
2020-06-29 5:06:31 PM  
Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.

Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.

/Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.
 
2020-06-29 5:06:33 PM  

radiosteele: For the record these are my top three Onion articles

#1 - I Got What America Needs Right Here (Jimmy Carter)
https://politics.theonion.com/i-got-wh​at-america-needs-right-here-1819584452

#2 - Kids, You Mother Is Ready To Start Farking Again (Karen Robertson)
https://www.theonion.com/kids-your-mot​her-is-ready-to-start-farking-again-18​19584612

#3 - Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell (Onion Staff)
https://www.theonion.com/hijackers-sur​prised-to-find-selves-in-hell-18195661​62

Yours?


https://local.theonion.com/breakfast-​i​n-bed-served-to-mom-who-just-got-eaten​-out-1819574958
 
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