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(The Sun)   The first rule about Murderous Swan Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule about Murderous Swan Fight Club is you do not to try to break it up (possible nsfw content on page)   (thesun.co.uk) divider line
    More: Strange, Swan, The Sun, group of young lads, GIRL accused, Superintendent Andy Cox of the Metropolitan Police, witnesses claim, East London, News Group Newspapers  
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2283 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jun 2020 at 1:35 PM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-06-29 12:06:54 PM  
I know who can handle this...

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2020-06-29 1:01:04 PM  
Shocking video shows Jeffrey Phillips, 55, being pushed into the water from behind by a flip flop-wearing yob in Limehouse

I figured out who writes Biden's stuff.
 
2020-06-29 1:27:12 PM  
I got hit completely blindsided by another kid and lost my glasses.

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2020-06-29 1:37:53 PM  
Swans are vicious bastards and will fark you up.
 
2020-06-29 1:41:50 PM  
Just in time I remembered the third rule: Don't click on Sun links.
 
2020-06-29 1:48:48 PM  
Swan fight?

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2020-06-29 1:51:02 PM  
What a bunch of wankers!
 
2020-06-29 1:52:42 PM  
I don't condone kicking animals nor most humans but I cannot help but laugh whenever anyone gets pushed into the drink.

It was such an integral ritual growing up with lakes, river and ocean - someone's getting pushed from the shore or dock and it's all fair game.
 
2020-06-29 1:53:01 PM  
It never ceases to amaze me how The Sun can turn a paragraph worth of information into a freaking novella.
 
2020-06-29 1:54:01 PM  
We have a couple of trumpeter swans in the lake near us. They will slap the living piss out of any Canuckian goose that lands on their waters.
It's nature's perfect substitute for the closed-down NHL right now.
 
2020-06-29 1:54:26 PM  

FrancoFile: Swans are vicious bastards and will fark you up.


Only when they have cygnets.  Super protective  parents
 
2020-06-29 1:57:50 PM  
So the best advice is...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-29 2:00:15 PM  

Salmon: I don't condone kicking animals nor most humans but I cannot help but laugh whenever anyone gets pushed into the drink.

It was such an integral ritual growing up with lakes, river and ocean - someone's getting pushed from the shore or dock and it's all fair game.


its called assualt you dolt...if we are lucky someone will push you in front of a train
 
2020-06-29 2:03:20 PM  
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2020-06-29 2:03:28 PM  

Turbo Cojones: FrancoFile: Swans are vicious bastards and will fark you up.

Only when they have cygnets.  Super protective  parents


No. Swans are just jerks all the time. If there was a bird society, swans would be the power tripping, roided-out cops of BirdWorld
 
2020-06-29 2:11:12 PM  
Back in the stne ages, when I was in University, there was a pond outside the apartment building I lived in, with ducks, geese, and a mating pair of swams.

The ducks would keep a good 5' separation from the geese, or they would get smacked around.

Everything kept at least 10' from the swans, or they got *dead*.

I have been smacked around by a goose before, and I luckily walked away with some truly impressive bruises.  I can just imagine how much damage a farking swan could do.
 
2020-06-29 2:16:38 PM  
Vincent Price - The Smoker
Youtube WGr9ISzIi40

Contains Swans as part of a murder plan
 
2020-06-29 2:16:56 PM  

GrogSmash: Back in the stne ages, when I was in University, there was a pond outside the apartment building I lived in, with ducks, geese, and a mating pair of swams.

The ducks would keep a good 5' separation from the geese, or they would get smacked around.

Everything kept at least 10' from the swans, or they got *dead*.

I have been smacked around by a goose before, and I luckily walked away with some truly impressive bruises.  I can just imagine how much damage a farking swan could do.


Depending on breed, you're looking at an 6-8 foot wingspan. From what I understand, they're not really as strong as rumor has it but they're still not something I want to go messing about.
 
2020-06-29 2:22:49 PM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: GrogSmash: Back in the stne ages, when I was in University, there was a pond outside the apartment building I lived in, with ducks, geese, and a mating pair of swams.

The ducks would keep a good 5' separation from the geese, or they would get smacked around.

Everything kept at least 10' from the swans, or they got *dead*.

I have been smacked around by a goose before, and I luckily walked away with some truly impressive bruises.  I can just imagine how much damage a farking swan could do.

Depending on breed, you're looking at an 6-8 foot wingspan. From what I understand, they're not really as strong as rumor has it but they're still not something I want to go messing about.


Well, assuming an average adult weighs 20-30lbs, those breast muscles have to pack a hell of a whallop to get them airborne.
 
2020-06-29 2:28:08 PM  

FrancoFile: Swans are vicious bastards and will fark you up.


When I was a kid I was attacked by one while fishing in a pond. I tried to keep it at bay with my fishing pole and ended up with this farking swan fully involved with the treble hook on my Red Devil. I finally just dropped the whole thing and ran for my bike. Never found my pole but that swan was still around.
 
2020-06-29 2:39:38 PM  
Farking Swans. And geese. Angry bastards that belong on the dinner table.
 
2020-06-29 2:39:51 PM  
You mean the cobra chickens, subby?


[Below applies to all geese and swans, IMO]
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-29 2:41:48 PM  

GrogSmash: xxBirdMadGirlxx: GrogSmash: Back in the stne ages, when I was in University, there was a pond outside the apartment building I lived in, with ducks, geese, and a mating pair of swams.

The ducks would keep a good 5' separation from the geese, or they would get smacked around.

Everything kept at least 10' from the swans, or they got *dead*.

I have been smacked around by a goose before, and I luckily walked away with some truly impressive bruises.  I can just imagine how much damage a farking swan could do.

Depending on breed, you're looking at an 6-8 foot wingspan. From what I understand, they're not really as strong as rumor has it but they're still not something I want to go messing about.

Well, assuming an average adult weighs 20-30lbs, those breast muscles have to pack a hell of a whallop to get them airborne.


The thing people don't realize until they get close is that a swan is just a more capable goose.  The neck of a swan has approximately the same diameter as a beer can.
 
2020-06-29 2:43:38 PM  

RyansPrivates: You mean the cobra chickens, subby?


[Below applies to all geese and swans, IMO]
[i.kym-cdn.com image 586x443]


Buhahaha..  possibly the most fitting name I have ever heard for those hissing bastards.
 
2020-06-29 2:49:04 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-29 2:51:13 PM  
Antifa going after Swans now?
 
2020-06-29 3:06:10 PM  

UberDave: I know who can handle this...

[Fark user image 700x316]


What's next?  Bobbies chasing after boobies?

\better not be obscure
 
2020-06-29 3:33:59 PM  

oldfarthenry: We have a couple of trumpeter swans in the lake near us.


Do they wear little MAGA hats?
 
2020-06-29 3:45:53 PM  

SBinRR: oldfarthenry: We have a couple of trumpeter swans in the lake near us.

Do they wear little MAGA hats?


They might - or they're heads are covered in the blood of their enemies.
I'm scared of them either way.
 
2020-06-29 4:01:05 PM  

GrogSmash: xxBirdMadGirlxx: GrogSmash: Back in the stne ages, when I was in University, there was a pond outside the apartment building I lived in, with ducks, geese, and a mating pair of swams.

The ducks would keep a good 5' separation from the geese, or they would get smacked around.

Everything kept at least 10' from the swans, or they got *dead*.

I have been smacked around by a goose before, and I luckily walked away with some truly impressive bruises.  I can just imagine how much damage a farking swan could do.

Depending on breed, you're looking at an 6-8 foot wingspan. From what I understand, they're not really as strong as rumor has it but they're still not something I want to go messing about.

Well, assuming an average adult weighs 20-30lbs, those breast muscles have to pack a hell of a whallop to get them airborne.


African or European swan?
 
2020-06-29 4:27:48 PM  

zippyZRX: Salmon: I don't condone kicking animals nor most humans but I cannot help but laugh whenever anyone gets pushed into the drink.

It was such an integral ritual growing up with lakes, river and ocean - someone's getting pushed from the shore or dock and it's all fair game.

its called assualt you dolt...if we are lucky someone will push you in front of a train


I thought we had cleansed most of the ITGs out of Fark but there's always another one out there to prove me wrong.

I'm fairly certain that pushing someone in front of a train is a different level of assault than pushing someone into the water, but I guess if you consider those who cannot swim that my actions as a kid could have been just as lethal.
 
2020-06-29 6:31:46 PM  

Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs: Turbo Cojones: FrancoFile: Swans are vicious bastards and will fark you up.

Only when they have cygnets.  Super protective  parents

No. Swans are just jerks all the time. If there was a bird society, swans would be the power tripping, roided-out cops of BirdWorld


My in Laws keep a pair of African Cranes at their hotel in Mexicoooo.  Maybe they recognize me or something, but I have no problems with the swans.  The cranes on the other hand will only let their keeper on the back quarter acre of hotel property.  They  are very territorial.
 
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