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(BBC)   My hovercraft is full of Covidiots   (bbc.co.uk) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Isle of Wight, Ryde, Southsea, health conditions, Portsmouth, Hovercraft, abusive behaviour policy, captain of a hovercraft  
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4971 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jun 2020 at 5:55 PM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



39 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-06-29 1:25:01 PM  
Covidiots? In my hovercraft?
It's more likely than you think.
 
2020-06-29 6:05:11 PM  
Cover your face or lose your place.

Seems reasonable. If you can't figure out how masks work, and you become a problem that others have to deal with, then booting you off public transportation is entirely reasonable.
 
2020-06-29 6:08:12 PM  
" My hovercraft is full of Covidiots"

I read that as "My Lovecraft is full of covalents".  :-/
 
2020-06-29 6:09:44 PM  
Yeah, it's happening. We're slowly but surely becoming "Americans without all the guns and religion".
 
2020-06-29 6:10:24 PM  
People with certain health conditions, disabled people and children under the age of 11 are exempt from the rule.

Genuinely curious -- what "certain health conditions" would enable one to not wear a mask?  I guess missing your lower jaw, or something.  Even not having ears, you could still tie a mask around your head.  My father has a number of lung conditions from breathing fumes from a metal finishing plant throughout the sixties.  He has all kinds of oxygen tanks and the likes and only breathes in short breaths.  He can wear a mask.  I know people with severe asthma, they have no problems with a mask.  I'm immuno-compromised with a number of "certain health conditions" that exempts me from a lot of things.  My respiratory system seems to be fine, though.  I wear a mask and gloves.

So again, I'm sure there are some out there, but what medical condition would someone have to have to 'exempt' them from wearing a mask?
 
2020-06-29 6:14:31 PM  
My nipples implode with despair.

I will not buy this timeline, it is scratched
 
2020-06-29 6:16:28 PM  
"Children under 11"?

My granddaughter was very happy to get the cloth mask my SO made for her (and the matching one for her stuffed fuzzy critter, and my daughter sent a pic of the two of them in their masks.

But, of course, my granddaughter is tougher, and has more brains, than any J. Random President.
 
2020-06-29 6:17:49 PM  

whitroth: "Children under 11"?

My granddaughter was very happy to get the cloth mask my SO made for her (and the matching one for her stuffed fuzzy critter, and my daughter sent a pic of the two of them in their masks.

But, of course, my granddaughter is tougher, and has more brains, than any J. Random President.


Under 5, depending on the type of mask, would seem a better cutoff.
 
2020-06-29 6:30:27 PM  

Xanlexian: So again, I'm sure there are some out there, but what medical condition would someone have to have to 'exempt' them from wearing a mask?


Claustrophobia.
Psychotic episode.
Hypersensitivity to touch.
 
2020-06-29 6:31:05 PM  

NearCanuck: Under 5, depending on the type of mask, would seem a better cutoff.


I get the CDC emails and they are saying under 2.

From the latest one:

CDC recommends that people wear cloth face coverings in public settings when around people outside of their household, especially when other social distancing measures are difficult to maintain. Cloth face coverings should NOT be worn by children under the age of 2 or anyone who has trouble breathing, is unconscious, incapacitated, or otherwise unable to remove the mask without assistance.
 
2020-06-29 6:31:10 PM  

Lemmy's Warts: Yeah, it's happening. We're slowly but surely becoming "Americans without all the guns and religion".


I am truly sorry for your lots.
Fark user imageView Full Size

/no, I actually am.
//the UK was supposed to be the place I escape to when shot truly gets bad here
/// Germany it is, then
 
2020-06-29 6:33:09 PM  

WelldeadLink: Xanlexian: So again, I'm sure there are some out there, but what medical condition would someone have to have to 'exempt' them from wearing a mask?

Claustrophobia.
Psychotic episode.
Hypersensitivity to touch.


Okay, those make sense.  Thank you for the quick & concise reply.
 
2020-06-29 6:34:12 PM  

Xanlexian: People with certain health conditions, disabled people and children under the age of 11 are exempt from the rule.

Genuinely curious -- what "certain health conditions" would enable one to not wear a mask?  I guess missing your lower jaw, or something.  Even not having ears, you could still tie a mask around your head.  My father has a number of lung conditions from breathing fumes from a metal finishing plant throughout the sixties.  He has all kinds of oxygen tanks and the likes and only breathes in short breaths.  He can wear a mask.  I know people with severe asthma, they have no problems with a mask.  I'm immuno-compromised with a number of "certain health conditions" that exempts me from a lot of things.  My respiratory system seems to be fine, though.  I wear a mask and gloves.

So again, I'm sure there are some out there, but what medical condition would someone have to have to 'exempt' them from wearing a mask?


My only thought was people with some kind of suffocation phobia.
 
2020-06-29 6:44:03 PM  
Would you like to come home with me, go 'coughy-coughy?'
 
2020-06-29 6:49:05 PM  
Hovertravel said: "Staff have engaged with these customers on a number of previous occasions, explaining the reasons why, and encouraging the use of face coverings.


It's a strange world when somebody uses a hovercraft service on a regular basis.  Do they have a weekend home there, and find it more convenient to have a beater car on the island that they park at the hovercraft port Sunday through Friday, rather than taking a ferry?
 
2020-06-29 6:51:28 PM  
*throws them overboard*

"NO ONE SAW A THING"
 
2020-06-29 6:55:46 PM  

Lemmy's Warts: Yeah, it's happening. We're slowly but surely becoming "Americans without all the guns and religion".


Doesn't that just leave racism and tax cuts?
 
2020-06-29 7:02:29 PM  

Mr. Fuzzypaws: NearCanuck: Under 5, depending on the type of mask, would seem a better cutoff.

I get the CDC emails and they are saying under 2.

From the latest one:

CDC recommends that people wear cloth face coverings in public settings when around people outside of their household, especially when other social distancing measures are difficult to maintain. Cloth face coverings should NOT be worn by children under the age of 2 or anyone who has trouble breathing, is unconscious, incapacitated, or otherwise unable to remove the mask without assistance.


My youngest is not 3 yet.  I think I'd have to ratchet strap it on if I wanted them to wear a mask.  We did attempt a few times. Did not end well.

Maybe after a couple weeks of making a super fun game out of it? It'd be a crap shoot in public either way.

Perhaps there's a better cloth covering that would work for toddlers/preschoolers.
 
2020-06-29 7:09:22 PM  

Xanlexian: People with certain health conditions, disabled people and children under the age of 11 are exempt from the rule.

Genuinely curious -- what "certain health conditions" would enable one to not wear a mask?  I guess missing your lower jaw, or something.  Even not having ears, you could still tie a mask around your head.  My father has a number of lung conditions from breathing fumes from a metal finishing plant throughout the sixties.  He has all kinds of oxygen tanks and the likes and only breathes in short breaths.  He can wear a mask.  I know people with severe asthma, they have no problems with a mask.  I'm immuno-compromised with a number of "certain health conditions" that exempts me from a lot of things.  My respiratory system seems to be fine, though.  I wear a mask and gloves.

So again, I'm sure there are some out there, but what medical condition would someone have to have to 'exempt' them from wearing a mask?


Being a "Karen"?
 
2020-06-29 7:10:09 PM  

X-Geek: Lemmy's Warts: Yeah, it's happening. We're slowly but surely becoming "Americans without all the guns and religion".

Doesn't that just leave racism and tax cuts?


That is indeed current Tory policy.
 
2020-06-29 7:11:33 PM  
Wear a mask, don't wear a mask.  This is getting to be the dumbest episode of humanity.
99% of these "masks" won't stop crap.  Well, maybe crap, but not the Rona virus.  But but
if it saves just one life.
Tell you what, YOU wear a mask if you want to, I'll wear a mask if I want to.  THAT is how it
should be.  You sheep just want the government to control you more and more because they
have convinced you that THEY can take care of you.
650,000 people in the 2018-2019 "flu" season died because of the flu.  500,000 people have
died THIS flu season.  Sure don't remember locking down the economy, making everyone
unemployed, forcing people to stay home, not allowed to go to church, restaurants, bars, nightclubs,
but boy howdy if you want to run around in the street and "peacefully protest", by all means go
ahead.  Want to tear down a statue or spray paint crap all over buildings, loot, burn etc, why feel
free because the Rona virus can't survive in someone that is "peacefully protesting".
The government and socialist types must be creaming their jeans over how easy it has been to
hoodwink the global population that this Rona virus was going to kill billions of people.
And now that it hasn't, the only thing they and their willing buddies in the media have left, is
to constantly report on "cases" of Rona virus "outbreaks".  Well, tell ya what, the MORE you
test, the MORE you will find positive.  Why?  Because I'll bet you if you could test every single
human on the planet, the global outcome would be close to 3.8 billion...which is the population
of the world.  And of those that do test positive, the MAJORITY will never get sick, and a small
percentage will require medical attention and an even smaller amount will perish (no thanks to
those that were sent to nursing homes, regardless if the order came from a D or R).
The Corona virus, has been around probably since the first time man walked on Earth and was
first "photographed" in the 60's with electron photography.  It's the same family that has caused
SARS (no global shutdown), Ebola (no global shutdown), Swine Flu (no global shutdown) and
on and on.

Scientists have divided coronaviruses into four sub-groupings, called alpha, beta, gamma, and delta. Seven of these viruses can infect people. The four common ones are:
229E (alpha)
NL63 (alpha)
OC43 (beta)
HKU1 (beta)
The three less-common ones are:
MERS-CoV, a beta virus that causes Middle East respiratory syndrome (MERS)
SARS-CoV, a beta virus that causes severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS)
SARS-CoV-2, which causes COVID-19

And the "second wave" you keep hearing about, no shiat Sherlock!  When a virus infect you,
it starts making copies of itself. If there's a copying mistake, the RNA gets changed. Scientists call those changes mutations.

If you want to keep the virus from spreading, WASH your hands, cover your mouth if you sneeze, and
most important, STAY HOME if you are sick.  Everyone has probably worked with some ldiot that
comes into work sick.
Oh, I'm sure, that within the next few weeks, there will be cities, states, countries that will mandate
everyone wear a mask when you are outside of your own home.  It's silly.  Let the virus run it's
course until it dies off or becomes too weak to infect people and let the ANTIBODIES in your system
build up to protect you during the next outbreak.  Restrict access to nursing homes, hospital (visitors)
etc, but open up the global economy and get on with LIVING your life and not hiding in fear that you
might catch the virus.  Most won't even know they've had it!
 
2020-06-29 7:20:30 PM  
Well, that was certainly a lot of crazy.
 
2020-06-29 7:26:07 PM  
These people live the luxury of hovercraft travel and yet they complain?

Feed them to the eels!
 
2020-06-29 7:30:45 PM  

Porous Horace: These people live the luxury of hovercraft travel and yet they complain?

Feed them to the eels!


Do you hear that, Princess? Those are the screaming eels ! They always get louder just before they strike!
 
2020-06-29 7:31:57 PM  

FrancoFile: Hovertravel said: "Staff have engaged with these customers on a number of previous occasions, explaining the reasons why, and encouraging the use of face coverings.


It's a strange world when somebody uses a hovercraft service on a regular basis.  Do they have a weekend home there, and find it more convenient to have a beater car on the island that they park at the hovercraft port Sunday through Friday, rather than taking a ferry?


It's cooler
 
2020-06-29 7:34:21 PM  

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: Xanlexian: People with certain health conditions, disabled people and children under the age of 11 are exempt from the rule.

Genuinely curious -- what "certain health conditions" would enable one to not wear a mask?  I guess missing your lower jaw, or something.  Even not having ears, you could still tie a mask around your head.  My father has a number of lung conditions from breathing fumes from a metal finishing plant throughout the sixties.  He has all kinds of oxygen tanks and the likes and only breathes in short breaths.  He can wear a mask.  I know people with severe asthma, they have no problems with a mask.  I'm immuno-compromised with a number of "certain health conditions" that exempts me from a lot of things.  My respiratory system seems to be fine, though.  I wear a mask and gloves.

So again, I'm sure there are some out there, but what medical condition would someone have to have to 'exempt' them from wearing a mask?

My only thought was people with some kind of suffocation phobia.


I freak the hell out when I feel like I can't breathe. Have trouble with motorcycle helmets or other tight-fitting gear like that, can't do scuba or snuba without a panic attack, anything like that. Hell, still or stale air makes me uncomfortable to the point of doing some pretty irrational things to get out of it. I'm still making masks work okay. So I dunno how bad someone has to be for an exemption.
 
2020-06-29 7:35:04 PM  

Porous Horace: These people live the luxury of hovercraft travel and yet they complain?

Feed them to the eels!


The Shrieking Eels?
 
2020-06-29 7:38:31 PM  
Should have used a hovervan.

Oddly, watching that segment right now
 
2020-06-29 7:51:57 PM  

Xanlexian: People with certain health conditions, disabled people and children under the age of 11 are exempt from the rule.

Genuinely curious -- what "certain health conditions" would enable one to not wear a mask?  I guess missing your lower jaw, or something.  Even not having ears, you could still tie a mask around your head.  My father has a number of lung conditions from breathing fumes from a metal finishing plant throughout the sixties.  He has all kinds of oxygen tanks and the likes and only breathes in short breaths.  He can wear a mask.  I know people with severe asthma, they have no problems with a mask.  I'm immuno-compromised with a number of "certain health conditions" that exempts me from a lot of things.  My respiratory system seems to be fine, though.  I wear a mask and gloves.

So again, I'm sure there are some out there, but what medical condition would someone have to have to 'exempt' them from wearing a mask?


England has several exceptions. From The Health Protection (Coronavirus, Wearing of Face Coverings on Public Transport) (England) Regulations 2020:

Reasonable excuse
4. For the purposes of regulation 3(1), the circumstances in which a person ("P") has a reasonable excuse include those where-
(a) P cannot put on, wear or remove a face covering- (i) because of any physical or mental illness or impairment, or disability (within the meaning of section 6 of the Equality Act 2010(g)), or (ii) without severe distress;
(b) P is travelling with, or providing assistance to, another person ("B") and B relies on lip reading to communicate with P;
(c) P removes their face covering to avoid harm or injury, or the risk of harm or injury, to themselves or others;
(d) P is travelling to avoid injury, or to escape a risk of harm, and does not have a face covering with them;
(e) if it is reasonably necessary for P to eat or drink, P removes their face covering to eat or drink;
(f) P has to remove their face covering to take medication;
(g) a relevant person requests that P remove their face covering

Rule 4(a)(ii) bolded, as that's what exempts Karens and other covidiots from needing masks.
 
2020-06-29 8:01:28 PM  
Perhaps there's a better cloth covering that would work for toddlers/preschoolers.

Duffel bag. Add wheel barrow for hauling. They will whine, expect it.
 
2020-06-29 8:05:15 PM  

FrancoFile: Hovertravel said: "Staff have engaged with these customers on a number of previous occasions, explaining the reasons why, and encouraging the use of face coverings.


It's a strange world when somebody uses a hovercraft service on a regular basis.  Do they have a weekend home there, and find it more convenient to have a beater car on the island that they park at the hovercraft port Sunday through Friday, rather than taking a ferry?


The old Dover-Calais hovercraft could carry sixty cars and four hundred passengers, but the Channel Tunnel killed them off. I travelled on it a few times as a kid. If you timed it right you could jump up and hit the ceiling, which was fun to do when you're a kid.
The IOW one carries 80 passengers.
If you have a holiday home on the island you could manage quite easily without a car. There are busses and taxi, and you could cycle from the top of the island to the bottom in an hour and a half.
Or you could live on the island and commute to work on the mainland. There's probably a lot more jobs in Portsmouth and Southampton than on the island.
And I didn't know that the hovercraft maker is quite busy, with lots of models sold all over the world.
 
2020-06-29 8:28:12 PM  

NearCanuck: whitroth: "Children under 11"?

My granddaughter was very happy to get the cloth mask my SO made for her (and the matching one for her stuffed fuzzy critter, and my daughter sent a pic of the two of them in their masks.

But, of course, my granddaughter is tougher, and has more brains, than any J. Random President.

Under 5, depending on the type of mask, would seem a better cutoff.


My granddaughter's 9.

But then, I was buying cat food the other day, and there was a guy with two little girls, one I'd be surprised if they were five... and both were *very* good wearing their masks.
 
2020-06-29 8:28:13 PM  
p51d007: ...a whole lot of bullshiat that you think is smart but isn't...

The CDC says wear a mask.
The WHO says wear a mask.
ECDC says wear a mask.
Science says wear a mask.

Shut the fark up with your bullshiat.
 
2020-06-29 8:29:30 PM  

Xanlexian: People with certain health conditions, disabled people and children under the age of 11 are exempt from the rule.

Genuinely curious -- what "certain health conditions" would enable one to not wear a mask?  I guess missing your lower jaw, or something.  Even not having ears, you could still tie a mask around your head.  My father has a number of lung conditions from breathing fumes from a metal finishing plant throughout the sixties.  He has all kinds of oxygen tanks and the likes and only breathes in short breaths.  He can wear a mask.  I know people with severe asthma, they have no problems with a mask.  I'm immuno-compromised with a number of "certain health conditions" that exempts me from a lot of things.  My respiratory system seems to be fine, though.  I wear a mask and gloves.

So again, I'm sure there are some out there, but what medical condition would someone have to have to 'exempt' them from wearing a mask?


Wat if I gots no mouph?  Wat do I tie it around?  Cuz sum peoples got no mouph!

Wait, do people not have mouths?  Now I feel like a dick, if you have no mouth, I am very sorry and I have no idea where you are supposed to tie your mask, but really, you should still wear one.  I forgot mine today on my beer run and felt like a dick, accidentally wore in inside my house last night cuz I was stoned as fark.  Legal weed is good.
 
2020-06-29 8:31:41 PM  

meanmutton: p51d007: ...a whole lot of bullshiat that you think is smart but isn't...

The CDC says wear a mask.
The WHO says wear a mask.
ECDC says wear a mask.
Science says wear a mask.

Shut the fark up with your bullshiat.


A month or so ago, I realized he's a troll. I've had fun with my responses to it since.

Don't worry, he'll get it and die... if he ever comes out of the basement where he lives.
 
2020-06-29 8:39:16 PM  

p51d007: Tell you what, YOU wear a mask if you want to, I'll wear a mask if I want to.  THAT is how it
should be.


The very embodiment of selfishness. Hard to imagine why your parents and grandparents used to refer you guys as the "me generation".

p51d007: 650,000 people in the 2018-2019 "flu" season died because of the flu.  500,000 people have
died THIS flu season.


I know you're getting up there in years and things are getting hard to keep track of but COVID and the flu are not the same and the COVID numbers don't include flue numbers. I'll also point out that since January we've seen things like shortages of respirators, ICUs over capacity, makeshift morgues, and temporary hospitals, which don't happen on an annual basis.

p51d007: Sure don't remember locking down the economy, making everyone
unemployed, forcing people to stay home, not allowed to go to church, restaurants, bars, nightclubs,


Ask your parents about polio restrictions in the 50s. You know, when they shut down pools, forcibly quarantined people, etc. Or your grandparents about the Spanish flu pandemic. The latter is a great example because a lot of idiots like you ensured the second wave was worse than the first so more people could die.

p51d007: The government and socialist types must be creaming their jeans over how easy it has been to
hoodwink the global population that this Rona virus was going to kill billions of people.


Yeah, everyone is stupid except you and your grade 12 education and folksy fly-over state wisdom. Let's all disregard the advice of doctors and scientists and get behind the ideals of some random hick from Missouri who spent 20 minutes on the internet and thinks he's come to some interesting conclusions.

p51d007: It's the same family that has caused
SARS (no global shutdown), Ebola (no global shutdown), Swine Flu (no global shutdown) and
on and on.


MERS-CoV, SARS-CoV, and SARS-CoV-2 are all members of the family Coronaviridae. Ebola on the other hand is a member of the family Filoviridae, and Swine flu is a member of Orthomyxoviridae. This is easily referenced if you'd bothered to check instead of inventing "facts" that somehow fit your narrative.

p51d007: Scientists have divided coronaviruses into four sub-groupings, called alpha, beta, gamma, and delta. Seven of these viruses can infect people.


They're called species, not "sub-groupings", and at this time there are a total of seven, of which SARS-CoV-2 is one. You clearly know nothing about virology of life science in general.

p51d007: WASH your hands, cover your mouth if you sneeze, and
most important, STAY HOME if you are sick.


Wow, you finally got something right. Congrats, but I can't help wonder why you feel covering your mouth when you sneeze is effective but masks aren't.

p51d007: Let the virus run it's
course until it dies off or becomes too weak to infect people and let the ANTIBODIES in your system
build up to protect you during the next outbreak.  Restrict access to nursing homes, hospital (visitors)
etc, but open up the global economy and get on with LIVING your life and not hiding in fear that you
might catch the virus.  Most won't even know they've had it!


Basing that advice on your vast knowledge of virology and epidemiology?
 
2020-06-29 8:51:03 PM  

Porous Horace: These people live the luxury of hovercraft travel and yet they complain?

Feed them to the eels!


Then bake the eels into pies, because... English food.
 
2020-06-29 9:32:44 PM  

p51d007: You sheep just want the government to control you more and more because they
have convinced you that THEY can take care of you.
650,000 people in the 2018-2019 "flu" season died because of the flu.  500,000 people have
died THIS flu season.  Sure don't remember locking down the economy, making everyone
unemployed, forcing people to stay home, not allowed to go to church, restaurants, bars, nightclubs


Yeah, maybe consider that the 120k deaths due to Corona is the figure after lockdown, closing bars, restaurants, making people stay home etc and that means that had we not had the lockdown there would be vastly more people dead. Like maybe five or ten million in the US alone.

Your logic is like saying "Well I jumped out of a plane and was forced to use a parachute but I landed safely therefore I didn't really need the parachute so we should all be made to jump out of planes without parachutes"

You landed safely because of the parachute.
The US has "only" 120k deaths because of the lockdown.
 
2020-06-30 9:05:55 AM  

X-Geek: Lemmy's Warts: Yeah, it's happening. We're slowly but surely becoming "Americans without all the guns and religion".

Doesn't that just leave racism and tax cuts?


Probably. I'd be ok with tax and racism cuts instead.
 
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