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(History Channel)   On this day in history, in 1613, the Globe Theater, where most of Shakespeare's plays debuted, burned down, which is why bards no longer have access to fire spells   (history.com) divider line
    More: Vintage, Richard Burbage, Globe Theatre, Cuthbert Burbage, William Shakespeare, The Theatre, Lord Chamberlain's Men, Burbage's Theater, permanent theater  
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734 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jun 2020 at 1:20 PM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-06-29 11:20:11 AM  
Nerds still have access to lightning bolt....lightning bolt...lightning bolt
 
2020-06-29 11:25:17 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-29 1:24:47 PM  
Some men just want to watch the world Burn
Youtube QJ1koU26aeY
 
2020-06-29 1:25:54 PM  
I hate to be pedantic, but do we ever take the switch to the Gregorian Calendar into account with these things?
 
2020-06-29 1:26:38 PM  
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2020-06-29 1:27:15 PM  
<save vs. uncontrollable laughter at headline>

<roll roll roll>

1

Bwahahaha!
 
2020-06-29 1:30:47 PM  
Forsooth, my good fellow - play guardian to my tankard of mead & behold this!
 
2020-06-29 1:30:49 PM  
Lightening is still ok though?
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-29 1:31:19 PM  
Damnit, Moon Moon!
 
2020-06-29 1:32:42 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


So I built another
 
2020-06-29 1:32:50 PM  

cretinbob: Nerds still have access to lightning bolt....lightning bolt...lightning bolt


*shakes tiny wand*
 
2020-06-29 1:35:54 PM  

ImpendingCynic: I hate to be pedantic, but do we ever take the switch to the Gregorian Calendar into account with these things?


I always see the 2 calendars referenced when talking about Russia - because they didn't switch until after 1917.  I honestly forget when continental Europe and the British Empire switched.  1600s and 1700s, respectively?
 
2020-06-29 1:38:26 PM  
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-06-29 1:40:17 PM  
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2020-06-29 1:40:54 PM  
Ackshually 5e bards can take any spell with the magical secrets class feature, fireball is a common choice to provide a versatile offensive spell option
 
2020-06-29 1:43:28 PM  
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Well done, subby
 
2020-06-29 1:43:29 PM  
Subs, I LOL'd, nicely done.
 
2020-06-29 1:53:01 PM  
Bards don't mind having their psychic cantrip, there's way more critters resistant/immune to fire damage.
 
2020-06-29 1:57:40 PM  

FunkJunkie: Ackshually 5e bards can take any spell with the magical secrets class feature, fireball is a common choice to provide a versatile offensive spell option


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-29 1:59:54 PM  

UNC_Samurai: Bards don't mind having their psychic cantrip, there's way more critters resistant/immune to fire damage.


Tome pact warlocks love that spell too. Eldritch blast, vicious mockery, thorn whip, frostbite, who needs spell slots?
 
2020-06-29 2:10:34 PM  
Bards don't need fireball when they can charm someone who has it.

Bards = the ultimate delegator
 
2020-06-29 2:15:49 PM  

Short Victoria's War: FunkJunkie: Ackshually 5e bards can take any spell with the magical secrets class feature, fireball is a common choice to provide a versatile offensive spell option

[Fark user image image 500x500]


So, to anyone but your character, you just appear to have a sword that always glows??
 
2020-06-29 2:19:51 PM  
The people new him to be racist, so they burnt it down.
 
2020-06-29 2:22:38 PM  
Blind Guardian - The Bard's Song & Valhalla - Live at Wacken Open Air 2016
Youtube i-IcX_bccFc
 
2020-06-29 2:25:12 PM  
Look, it was either burn the theatre down, or allow a portal to the Carrionite world open up.

vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2020-06-29 2:40:13 PM  
Fun fact, the entirety of 5th Edition is carefully and deliberately balanced around a party of four Bards.

A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Bard
Youtube qiHXxrCB5yk
 
2020-06-29 2:44:15 PM  
I preferred the shows at The Disc.
 
2020-06-29 2:55:41 PM  
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2020-06-29 3:15:54 PM  
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2020-06-29 3:16:00 PM  
"911 what's your emergency?"

"ABLAZE IS NOW THIS FAIR AMPHITHEATRE"

"Wut?"

"ALAS INFERNO NOW CONVERTS THESE HALLOWED WALLS TO A PYRE"

"Wut?"

"RAGING HEREIN WITH THE REDNESS OF THE GAZE OF A THOUSAND DEMONS, ALL IS AFLICKER"

"Wut?"

"CONFLAGRATION NOW HEADLINES THIS FAIR STAGE"

"Wut?"

"ENKINDLED THESE PREMISES ARE AS IF TO HEAT THE HEAVENS ABOVE"
 
2020-06-29 3:17:59 PM  

Vorpal: "911 what's your emergency?"

"ABLAZE IS NOW THIS FAIR AMPHITHEATRE"

"Wut?"

"ALAS INFERNO NOW CONVERTS THESE HALLOWED WALLS TO A PYRE"

"Wut?"

"RAGING HEREIN WITH THE REDNESS OF THE GAZE OF A THOUSAND DEMONS, ALL IS AFLICKER"

"Wut?"

"CONFLAGRATION NOW HEADLINES THIS FAIR STAGE"

"Wut?"

"ENKINDLED THESE PREMISES ARE AS IF TO HEAT THE HEAVENS ABOVE"


I regret that I have but one funny to give...
 
2020-06-29 3:20:27 PM  

BumpInTheNight: [Fark user image 735x585}


This is my group right now we have a guys daughter playing a bard I think this is her first ever campaign basically every fight we get close to being slaughtered.

GM:  Bard what are you doing?

"uhhh I keep playing"

GM tries to encourage her and gives hints etc but it hasnt sunk in yet, hopefully next campaign she switches to a fighter or something that we can point in a direction and say kill that.
 
2020-06-29 3:27:27 PM  

ImpendingCynic: I hate to be pedantic, but do we ever take the switch to the Gregorian Calendar into account with these things?


I see you've never used the new java.time package in java.

All I want is a farking date-time stamp you farking PoS!!!  I shouldn't have to do a a half dozen class perversions to get one!
 
2020-06-29 3:35:39 PM  
I don't get the bard hate. They are by far my favorite class and when built correctly, they are absolutely monsters. During an epic level campaign some years back (which had druids, clerics, and wizards included), the DM said my bard was by far the most dangerous.
 
2020-06-29 3:37:25 PM  
Bravo subby!
 
2020-06-29 3:52:26 PM  

GrogSmash: ImpendingCynic: I hate to be pedantic, but do we ever take the switch to the Gregorian Calendar into account with these things?

I see you've never used the new java.time package in java.

All I want is a farking date-time stamp you farking PoS!!!  I shouldn't have to do a a half dozen class perversions to get one!


You need to use the right tool for the job.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-29 3:52:47 PM  

FrancoFile: ImpendingCynic: I hate to be pedantic, but do we ever take the switch to the Gregorian Calendar into account with these things?

I always see the 2 calendars referenced when talking about Russia - because they didn't switch until after 1917.  I honestly forget when continental Europe and the British Empire switched.  1600s and 1700s, respectively?


Great Britain switched in 1752, so they'd probably use an O.S. date for this.
 
2020-06-29 4:22:32 PM  

Ivo Shandor: GrogSmash: ImpendingCynic: I hate to be pedantic, but do we ever take the switch to the Gregorian Calendar into account with these things?

I see you've never used the new java.time package in java.

All I want is a farking date-time stamp you farking PoS!!!  I shouldn't have to do a a half dozen class perversions to get one!

You need to use the right tool for the job.
[Fark user image image 297x440]


Take a close look at my handle.

The exchange you just posted is a prime example of why I chose it.
 
2020-06-29 5:01:24 PM  

UNC_Samurai: Bards don't mind having their psychic cantrip, there's way more critters resistant/immune to fire damage.


My best use/interpretation of the vicious mockery was when we encountered an ogre and I said "hey ogre let me sing the song of your people" and sang Smashmouth's "Rockstar."
 
2020-06-29 6:20:27 PM  

ArkAngel: I don't get the bard hate. They are by far my favorite class and when built correctly, they are absolutely monsters. During an epic level campaign some years back (which had druids, clerics, and wizards included), the DM said my bard was by far the most dangerous.


I have, on more than one occasion, wrecked a perfectly good boss fight for our GM with my bard. I'll let the warriors, rogues, etc. DPS everything else... oh, I'll help... but I keep the real 'boss' wrecking in check.
 
2020-06-29 8:34:51 PM  

GrogSmash: All I want is a farking date-time stamp you farking PoS!!! I shouldn't have to do a a half dozen class perversions to get one!


It's Java. If it didn't require some incredibly convoluted way of doing things, it wouldn't fit in with the rest of the language.

God, OOP was awful.
 
2020-06-29 8:46:34 PM  

trialpha: GrogSmash: All I want is a farking date-time stamp you farking PoS!!! I shouldn't have to do a a half dozen class perversions to get one!

It's Java. If it didn't require some incredibly convoluted way of doing things, it wouldn't fit in with the rest of the language.

God, OOP was awful.


Depends how you use it.  If you go full OOP as taught in school, yes, its a nightmare.

If you use it properly, its not bad.  At least java doesn't have multiple inheritence.  Figuring that shiat out when you inherit a code base from someone who decided to be 'clever'.... ugh.
 
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