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(The Hollywood Reporter)   This is the tale without Captain Jack Sparrow. Pirates rebooted with Margot Robbie   (hollywoodreporter.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, Pirates of the Caribbean, Johnny Depp, Jack Sparrow, pirate Jack Sparrow, Jerry Bruckheimer  
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2191 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Jun 2020 at 2:17 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-06-26 9:29:15 PM  
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/ I will never be one of the chuds to yell about an all-female reboot. Especially, when another reboot is in the pipes. Yet, do we need this or the other mentioned in the article Disney? This is why the monopoly is bad. Extending their I.P.s to let the plebes make less inclined choices in theatres. Surprised they are not trying to pad out a cgi steamboat willie for a 2 hour movie to keep the mouse under copyright law yet. Hell, they are pushing "live-action" rehashes until the next decade.
 
2020-06-26 11:09:54 PM  
Ms Robbie's best work was as the runaway bride/kid sister in Pan Am.
 
2020-06-27 2:20:50 AM  
So... Cutthroat Island?
 
2020-06-27 2:25:15 AM  
I will watch this one, I am cool with new stories set in the same 'universe' that leaves the potential open for cameos.

But fark any movie with the word Reboot in the first line of the description.  I will skip that one.
 
2020-06-27 2:27:29 AM  
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Sodomy, rum, and the lash doesn't seem all that bad now.
 
2020-06-27 2:37:19 AM  
Hodson is one of Hollywood's go-to blockbuster writers, with credits that include Transformers spinoff Bumblebee​

Weird, I'm watching Bumblebee right now.

/laughed my ass off when he spit out the Smiths cassette
 
2020-06-27 2:41:52 AM  
I'm sure it'll hit as well as Ghostbusters and Harley Quinn.
Sure, she's mighty easy on the eyes, but this will only fail unless they amp the sex appeal to 11.

Sorry, ladies--Johnny Depp has sex appeal and charm beyond 99.9% of all actors/actresses out there. You can't just drop anyone into that role and expect it to work.
 
2020-06-27 3:04:14 AM  
i'm not against this casting at all, and i hope the film is great.


but why, WHY, WHY, do we have to "reboot" every damn thing?

why don't we have a NEW pirate epic? be it Ching Shih or Anne Bonny, or hell, a sweet fictional female pirate -fictional, just like jack sparrow. but NOT springing from a side-note in HIS story?

i'm at the point i will not even watch a "remake" or "reboot" or "re-imagined" or "comic-based extended universe" film.

fark this. people are STILL writing original screenplays. SOME of them MUST be brilliant! film those!
 
2020-06-27 3:18:22 AM  
Odds on Margot playing Jacks long lost, thought to be dead, swashbuckling sister?

Jaqueline Sparro, Jackie for short...
 
2020-06-27 3:19:53 AM  
"We wants the redhead blonde!!"
 
2020-06-27 3:28:26 AM  

luna1580: but why, WHY, WHY, do we have to "reboot" every damn thing?

why don't we have a NEW pirate epic? be it Ching Shih or Anne Bonny, or hell, a sweet fictional female pirate -fictional, just like jack sparrow. but NOT springing from a side-note in HIS story?

i'm at the point i will not even watch a "remake" or "reboot" or "re-imagined" or "comic-based extended universe" film.

fark this. people are STILL writing original screenplays. SOME of them MUST be brilliant! film those!


FTA, this is "a wholly original story with new characters under the Pirates moniker".

So this one's not a reboot or a spinoff. It's just a shameless brand recognition exercise...
 
2020-06-27 3:45:38 AM  

Perfectly Normal Beast: luna1580: but why, WHY, WHY, do we have to "reboot" every damn thing?

why don't we have a NEW pirate epic? be it Ching Shih or Anne Bonny, or hell, a sweet fictional female pirate -fictional, just like jack sparrow. but NOT springing from a side-note in HIS story?

i'm at the point i will not even watch a "remake" or "reboot" or "re-imagined" or "comic-based extended universe" film.

fark this. people are STILL writing original screenplays. SOME of them MUST be brilliant! film those!

FTA, this is "a wholly original story with new characters under the Pirates moniker".

So this one's not a reboot or a spinoff. It's just a shameless brand recognition exercise...


granted, there is like zero released info according to TFA. and yes, it's pure branding.

but if it's a "lady pirate -in the pirates of the caribbean universe (which was originally based on a 16 minute amusement park ride, and became a vast money-maker basically on the strength of johnny depp's take on just one character) -sparrow is involved by the fact it is HIS universe." even if he never appears in the new film.

i'm just sick to death of hollywood/big studios never, ever funding an actually new idea. it stinks. it makes the whole "world entertainment culture" feel like it's out of ideas and boring and fully without soul.

and i say "world entertainment culture" because most "hollywood" films count on a big box office in china to make a profit. whatever this stale "culture" of zero creativity or innovation means for humanity, well, we know for a fact it's designed for wide global export.

don't get me wrong, i LOVE film. and i'm not against "blockbusters" or "popcorn movies"

-i just want SOME of wide-release films to feel more like "emotional art" than "consumer product."

remember when SOME non-indie movies sorta kinda felt like that?

as somebody who has loved movies for a long time, i actually feel "cheated" by basically ALL big studio films in almost the entire last decade.

forgive me if i'm ranting.
 
2020-06-27 3:52:10 AM  
She's not my first choice as the new Jack Sparrow, but whateves.
 
2020-06-27 4:11:55 AM  

luna1580: Perfectly Normal Beast: luna1580: but why, WHY, WHY, do we have to "reboot" every damn thing?

why don't we have a NEW pirate epic? be it Ching Shih or Anne Bonny, or hell, a sweet fictional female pirate -fictional, just like jack sparrow. but NOT springing from a side-note in HIS story?

i'm at the point i will not even watch a "remake" or "reboot" or "re-imagined" or "comic-based extended universe" film.

fark this. people are STILL writing original screenplays. SOME of them MUST be brilliant! film those!

FTA, this is "a wholly original story with new characters under the Pirates moniker".

So this one's not a reboot or a spinoff. It's just a shameless brand recognition exercise...

granted, there is like zero released info according to TFA. and yes, it's pure branding.

but if it's a "lady pirate -in the pirates of the caribbean universe (which was originally based on a 16 minute amusement park ride, and became a vast money-maker basically on the strength of johnny depp's take on just one character) -sparrow is involved by the fact it is HIS universe." even if he never appears in the new film.

i'm just sick to death of hollywood/big studios never, ever funding an actually new idea. it stinks. it makes the whole "world entertainment culture" feel like it's out of ideas and boring and fully without soul.

and i say "world entertainment culture" because most "hollywood" films count on a big box office in china to make a profit. whatever this stale "culture" of zero creativity or innovation means for humanity, well, we know for a fact it's designed for wide global export.

don't get me wrong, i LOVE film. and i'm not against "blockbusters" or "popcorn movies"

-i just want SOME of wide-release films to feel more like "emotional art" than "consumer product."

remember when SOME non-indie movies sorta kinda felt like that?

as somebody who has loved movies for a long time, i actually feel "cheated" by basically ALL big studio films in almost the entire last decade.

forgive me if i'm ranting.


Right there with you.

I love a huge variety of movies. Including silly stuff. Not everything has to be Citizen Kane - this is something folks like Roger Ebert seem to forget.

But damn it to hell some movies should try to best Citizen Kane!

Art as commerce/commerce as art has always been a struggle.

Example: they franchised Jaws (first summer blockbuster). Talk about losing tubal integrity.

You do #1 correctly, which costs a shiatload, make money and then franchise it with cheaper, shiattiar products to follow. #1 serves as an infomercial to guarantee profit from the sequels.
 
2020-06-27 4:14:14 AM  

Old Man Winter: She's not my first choice as the new Jack Sparrow, but whateves.


Do they all have to act like Keith Richards?
 
2020-06-27 4:14:26 AM  
They could always remake Cutthroat Island (but make it, you know, good and not suck and stuff).  That'd be interesting.
 
2020-06-27 4:14:32 AM  

Old Man Winter: She's not my first choice as the new Jack Sparrow, but whateves.


But you know there will be at least one scene of her soaking wet, while scantily clad. So there's that.
 
2020-06-27 4:41:51 AM  

luna1580: but why, WHY, WHY, do we have to "reboot" every damn thing?


Honestly it sounds like they're mostly not rebooting anything here.

What they're doing is making "Pirates of the Caribbean" a publishing imprint, where a bunch of independent, arbitrary pirate movies are made by the same company with no real obligation to be connected or to not be connected and various people involved in one production maybe involved and maybe not.

They're phrasing it all in terms of reboots or whatever because Disney is a company run entirely by cloud simulations of quasi-sentient marketing buzzwords with a hard-limit on memory set at two years, they're literally incapable of doing anything in any of their movies that didn't happen two years or sooner ago with an estimated positive impact factor on their quarterly profits.

I'm sure if they were asked about this they'd find some more audience-insulting, soullessly corporate way to phrase it, like they'd tell you they don't think audiences would know what an imprint was or that they don't know how the audience would respond to anthology series or whatever.  This isn't true, it's the sentient buzzword thing.  I know this because Disney literally used to run imprints all the farking time, and it used to arbitrarily make random unrelated pirate movies all the time, so if they had any self-awareness whatsoever they'd know both things work fine so long as you don't over-commit financially.
 
2020-06-27 5:00:35 AM  

Perfectly Normal Beast: luna1580: but why, WHY, WHY, do we have to "reboot" every damn thing?

why don't we have a NEW pirate epic? be it Ching Shih or Anne Bonny, or hell, a sweet fictional female pirate -fictional, just like jack sparrow. but NOT springing from a side-note in HIS story?

i'm at the point i will not even watch a "remake" or "reboot" or "re-imagined" or "comic-based extended universe" film.

fark this. people are STILL writing original screenplays. SOME of them MUST be brilliant! film those!

FTA, this is "a wholly original story with new characters under the Pirates moniker".

So this one's not a reboot or a spinoff. It's just a shameless brand recognition exercise...


Pirates cinematic universe, you mean?
 
2020-06-27 5:04:29 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-27 5:16:30 AM  
TBH, Pirates should probably always have gone the same-setting-different-stories route.  We might have had a nice little collection of individually distinct and entertaining pirate movies under the PotC banner ... instead of the mess that the series became as it spiraled out of control.
 
2020-06-27 5:29:47 AM  

Mad_Radhu: [Fark user image 425x402]

Sodomy, rum, and the lash doesn't seem all that bad now.


About 20 years ago I had a nice WTF moment along those lines. I was playing a video game and while going through a pirate city I passed an old lady who said,"Raping. Pillaging. The pirate's life for me!"

"...The fark did she just say?"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-27 5:54:53 AM  
I'm not sure Robbie has enough star power to carry a franchise. Was Birds of Prey even a hit? That the first PotC became the successful launch vehicle for the franchise was a almost a fluke and had everything to do with Mr. Johnny Depp pulling a mesmerizing performance (it was originally meant to make Orlando Bloom "happen").
It has been diminishing returns after that, at least in quality.
So back to Robbie. I don't see audiences clamoring to see her in anything. This is gonna derail her career, big time.
 
2020-06-27 7:03:11 AM  

Mad_Radhu: [Fark user image image 425x402]

Sodomy, rum, and the lash doesn't seem all that bad now.


She's only got one shot left.  Pistol to her right and the blunderbuss are uncocked, meaning they are likely already fired.
 
2020-06-27 7:32:35 AM  
You do of course realize that "Margot Elise Robbie" is an anagram of "GRIM BOOBIE STEALER", right?
 
2020-06-27 8:31:48 AM  
bigmemes.funnyjunk.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-27 8:46:07 AM  

lovely_filth: I love a huge variety of movies. Including silly stuff. Not everything has to be Citizen Kane - this is something folks like Roger Ebert seem to forget.


Roger Ebert, who wrote the script for Russ Meyer's Beyond the Valley of the Dolls?
 
2020-06-27 9:04:49 AM  

GameSprocket: [bigmemes.funnyjunk.com image 600x800]


I'm not saying I've seen this, or parts of this, but they tried so hard to be a "real" movie that they kind of ruined the initial point behind it.... if you know what I'm saying
 
2020-06-27 9:16:14 AM  

batlock666: lovely_filth: I love a huge variety of movies. Including silly stuff. Not everything has to be Citizen Kane - this is something folks like Roger Ebert seem to forget.

Roger Ebert, who wrote the script for Russ Meyer's Beyond the Valley of the Dolls?


Well I'm certain Roger Ebert has forgotten it at this point.
 
2020-06-27 9:25:43 AM  

luna1580: i'm not against this casting at all, and i hope the film is great.


but why, WHY, WHY, do we have to "reboot" every damn thing?

why don't we have a NEW pirate epic? be it Ching Shih or Anne Bonny, or hell, a sweet fictional female pirate -fictional, just like jack sparrow. but NOT springing from a side-note in HIS story?

i'm at the point i will not even watch a "remake" or "reboot" or "re-imagined" or "comic-based extended universe" film.

fark this. people are STILL writing original screenplays. SOME of them MUST be brilliant! film those!


They had a female pirate in three first POTC, can we throw money at Zoe Saldana to reprise her role , at least that connects them and Zoe has been in a few watchable movies at least, sarcasm included.

Let it be a Pirates movie with a female pirate but not make it a issue of it being female led or female directed. Give us something to entertain us for the money we give and not try to make us pay for a social discourse.   Pirate movies should be gaudy costumes, beautiful settings, rum drinking, swordbuckling, action fun.  But if you insist on promoting the agenda that it is a female pirate movie with a female director, don't be surprised when the comments that women on pirate ships are only good for two things, swabbing decks and whatever that other thing is, those comments will be coming.

/i really wanted them to do Zoe Saldana sequel for the second POTC and actually show other pirates than Jack so the franchise did not get stale but they decided the Michael Myers Halloween route was better.   Billions of dollars in profit late , I got they soon learn their mistake.
 
2020-06-27 9:39:13 AM  

Jim_Callahan: luna1580: but why, WHY, WHY, do we have to "reboot" every damn thing?

Honestly it sounds like they're mostly not rebooting anything here.

What they're doing is making "Pirates of the Caribbean" a publishing imprint, where a bunch of independent, arbitrary pirate movies are made by the same company with no real obligation to be connected or to not be connected and various people involved in one production maybe involved and maybe not.

They're phrasing it all in terms of reboots or whatever because Disney is a company run entirely by cloud simulations of quasi-sentient marketing buzzwords with a hard-limit on memory set at two years, they're literally incapable of doing anything in any of their movies that didn't happen two years or sooner ago with an estimated positive impact factor on their quarterly profits.

I'm sure if they were asked about this they'd find some more audience-insulting, soullessly corporate way to phrase it, like they'd tell you they don't think audiences would know what an imprint was or that they don't know how the audience would respond to anthology series or whatever.  This isn't true, it's the sentient buzzword thing.  I know this because Disney literally used to run imprints all the farking time, and it used to arbitrarily make random unrelated pirate movies all the time, so if they had any self-awareness whatsoever they'd know both things work fine so long as you don't over-commit financially.


I would argue that there is NO. WAY. IN. HELL. that they won't tie her to either Sparrow or Mrs and Mrs Turner. Hollywood execs are as constant as the Northern Star in their stupidity. I can hear them texting their production notes now: "Sparrow cameo has to happen!"
I'm calling it.
 
2020-06-27 10:47:44 AM  
Remember when Disney would threaten to put their movies in "the vault" so no one could buy them for years?  Donr hear alot of that shiat anymore.
 
kab
2020-06-27 10:48:45 AM  
Anne Bonny says hi.
 
2020-06-27 11:04:46 AM  

GameSprocket: [bigmemes.funnyjunk.com image 600x800]


Ah, "the most expensive paaarrrn ever made". The CGI skeletons at the end were terrible.
 
stk
2020-06-27 11:10:35 AM  
Make a Monkey Island movie, you cowards!
 
2020-06-27 11:28:43 AM  

fusillade762: Hodson is one of Hollywood's go-to blockbuster writers, with credits that include Transformers spinoff Bumblebee

Weird, I'm watching Bumblebee right now.

/laughed my ass off when he spit out the Smiths cassette


Great, now I want to watch Transformers: Prime all the way through again.
 
2020-06-27 11:29:58 AM  
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-06-27 11:30:50 AM  

Mad_Radhu: [Fark user image 425x402]

Sodomy, rum, and the lash doesn't seem all that bad now.


Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff!
 
2020-06-27 11:42:25 AM  

Trik: fusillade762: Hodson is one of Hollywood's go-to blockbuster writers, with credits that include Transformers spinoff Bumblebee

Weird, I'm watching Bumblebee right now.

/laughed my ass off when he spit out the Smiths cassette

Great, now I want to watch Transformers: Prime all the way through again.



While both Bumblebee and Prime are top-shelf Transformers content, they both suck for Cliffjumper!

They both make him look cool for a minute, then have Deceptions kill the *shiat* outta him.
 
2020-06-27 11:52:55 AM  
Here is the problem with PoTC with Robey. Jack Sparrow was a drunk bumbler who lucked his way through the entire series. That was the appeal of it.  That somehow the buffoon managed to outwit or outluck the clever ones.  Robey will never be portrayed as anything less than clever and competent.
 
2020-06-27 11:55:32 AM  
Lastly, they mighta got the wrong Harley for this.

Was never really a fan of Kaley Cuoco on Big Bang Theory, but her raunchy and foulmouthed Harley Quinn would make a way better pirate.

Hrm, Disney...  Guess they aren't big on the raunchy and foulmouthed.
Though they do own Deadpool now...
Her show is really a cross between it and Batman: The Brave and the Bold.

/If only they could cross over together.
//But a Marvel plug won't work in a DC outlet.
 
2020-06-27 12:02:26 PM  

teto85: Ms Robbie's best work was as the runaway bride/kid sister in Pan Am.


Her best work is the long suffering NY Rangers fan.
 
2020-06-27 12:26:50 PM  
The original rumor was that Karen Gillan was taking over as the lead, and I was all in for that. She's shown again and again that she's fantastic at playing semi-serious action roles with a heavy dash of comedy, and I thought she'd be an ideal choice to revive the Pirates series.

I'm less interested in Robbie, who's likely to ham it up and overplay the role. We want the redhead!
 
2020-06-27 12:33:21 PM  
And we'll never get the master and commander sequel...
 
2020-06-27 12:33:44 PM  
This project is separate from the already announced franchise reboot being developed by 'Pirates' scribe Ted Elliott and 'Chernobyl' creator Craig Mazin.

What a minute. I thought Ted Elliott's writing partner was Terry Rossio. They go all the way back to Aladdin. What happened?

*** googles ***

He tweeted what?

***  re-reads tweet ***

Ooooohhhhhh....that's not good.
 
2020-06-27 12:34:41 PM  

thehobbes: And we'll never get the master and commander sequel...


This.

/also, best Star Trek movie ever made
 
2020-06-27 12:35:15 PM  

Bslim: thehobbes: And we'll never get the master and commander sequel...

This.

/also, best Star Trek movie ever made


That's not how you spell Galaxy Quest.
 
2020-06-27 1:08:25 PM  

batlock666: lovely_filth: I love a huge variety of movies. Including silly stuff. Not everything has to be Citizen Kane - this is something folks like Roger Ebert seem to forget.

Roger Ebert, who wrote the script for Russ Meyer's Beyond the Valley of the Dolls?


Yeah. That always amused me.
More than once i thought that while watching him dump on some movie.
 
2020-06-27 2:03:29 PM  

EdgeRunner: The original rumor was that Karen Gillan was taking over as the lead, and I was all in for that. She's shown again and again that she's fantastic at playing semi-serious action roles with a heavy dash of comedy, and I thought she'd be an ideal choice to revive the Pirates series.

I'm less interested in Robbie, who's likely to ham it up and overplay the role. We want the redhead!


Oh, sure. Like Karen GIllan would look good in a pirate outfit.
 
amb [TotalFark]
2020-06-27 2:06:03 PM  

Colour_out_of_Space: EdgeRunner: The original rumor was that Karen Gillan was taking over as the lead, and I was all in for that. She's shown again and again that she's fantastic at playing semi-serious action roles with a heavy dash of comedy, and I thought she'd be an ideal choice to revive the Pirates series.

I'm less interested in Robbie, who's likely to ham it up and overplay the role. We want the redhead!

Oh, sure. Like Karen GIllan would look good in a pirate outfit.


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