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(News.com.au)   Finally one of the world's elusive poo joggers has been caught with his pants down and cornered   (news.com.au) divider line
    More: Dumbass, 1980s music groups, poo jogger, bare hands, back of another man, RELEVANT ADVERTISING, belter n, back of the shop, brick wall  
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3959 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jun 2020 at 8:55 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-06-26 8:42:44 AM  
*dying laughing*

He was made to pick it up and take it with him with his bare hands.
 
2020-06-26 8:58:21 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-26 8:59:00 AM  
Or let them use the restroom
 
2020-06-26 9:01:30 AM  
Did I miss the location on this? We had a local poo jogger but everyone assumed it was a woman, I believe.

I had a roommate years ago who went on long runs and always took toilet paper with him. It never occurred to me at the time that he was shiatting in random spots - which should have been painfully obvious. This seems like a pretty common shiatty behavior.
 
2020-06-26 9:01:56 AM  
I've never had to do this.  Came
Close once or twice while out jogging or walking, if illness strikes, it strikes.

Though, I'd prolly just poo my pants rather than dump in some random corner.
 
2020-06-26 9:05:33 AM  
If they did it in the road they might leave skidmarks!
 
2020-06-26 9:06:04 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-26 9:10:40 AM  
I did not know this was a thing. I expected a thread of horror, and instead Farkers all like, oh yeah this is totally normal. Maybe it is because I live in a country with lots of snow and swarms of mosquitoes, so I've never heard of this even as an accident?
 
2020-06-26 9:11:19 AM  

stuhayes2010: I've never had to do this.  Came
Close once or twice while out jogging or walking, if illness strikes, it strikes.

Though, I'd prolly just poo my pants rather than dump in some random corner.


As someone who has popped while walking.
Trust me. Find a corner.

It isn't poop that is bad. It's the poop flapping back and forth inside your underwear, that is the thing that will make you wish you took the dump in a corner
 
2020-06-26 9:15:24 AM  
They should run that PSA from India that encourages people to poop in toilets instead of the designated shiatting streets.

Poo2Loo Campaign: Take Poo To The Loo - Official Music Video
Youtube l01AMCBG0Wk
 
2020-06-26 9:15:25 AM  

stuhayes2010: I've never had to do this.  Came
Close once or twice while out jogging or walking, if illness strikes, it strikes.

Though, I'd prolly just poo my pants rather than dump in some random corner.


It's not really an illness thing. The constant motion just kinda works your colon until you gotta go. I would think runners are already aware of this (or will be) and plan accordingly. Some don't plan so well, and some don't care and take care of business when and where it happens.
 
2020-06-26 9:16:42 AM  
Poop thread poop thread
rolly polly poop thread
squat
poop
run
 
2020-06-26 9:16:54 AM  

Thosw: stuhayes2010: I've never had to do this.  Came
Close once or twice while out jogging or walking, if illness strikes, it strikes.

Though, I'd prolly just poo my pants rather than dump in some random corner.

It's not really an illness thing. The constant motion just kinda works your colon until you gotta go. I would think runners are already aware of this (or will be) and plan accordingly. Some don't plan so well, and some don't care and take care of business when and where it happens.


It's a matter of course for Ultras.
 
2020-06-26 9:18:39 AM  
One of the few times "clean that shiat up!" is the most perfect thing to say
 
2020-06-26 9:21:04 AM  
Was it really necessary for the shop owner to make him pick it up with his bare hands? Why didn't he get him a bag? Or just let him use the washroom in the first place.
 
2020-06-26 9:22:51 AM  

stuhayes2010: I've never had to do this.  Came
Close once or twice while out jogging or walking, if illness strikes, it strikes.

Though, I'd prolly just poo my pants rather than dump in some random corner.


Saw a video online once where a dude shiat while running. Might have been youtube.
 
2020-06-26 9:23:20 AM  
What an ass. I have colitis, so I have to plan my mornings carefully. I don't leave the house until I am certain I am empty. This twat waffle can't be bothered to wait until he's done pooping before going for a run.
 
2020-06-26 9:23:32 AM  

Two16: [Fark user image image 444x600]


A true poofessional.


Not
 
2020-06-26 9:23:32 AM  

CrazyGerbilLady: Was it really necessary for the shop owner to make him pick it up with his bare hands?


Yes. Sometimes a harsh lesson is the best way to imprint information on the student.
 
2020-06-26 9:24:35 AM  

waxbeans: Or let them use the restroom


There's no evidence he asked, and the business may not have been open yet.
The deed was already done when the owner came out.
 
2020-06-26 9:25:04 AM  

waxbeans: stuhayes2010: I've never had to do this.  Came
Close once or twice while out jogging or walking, if illness strikes, it strikes.

Though, I'd prolly just poo my pants rather than dump in some random corner.

As someone who has popped while walking.
Trust me. Find a corner.

It isn't poop that is bad. It's the poop flapping back and forth inside your underwear, that is the thing that will make you wish you took the dump in a corner


PWW will get u a ticket by the poolice.
 
2020-06-26 9:25:25 AM  

Chompachangas: What an ass. I have colitis, so I have to plan my mornings carefully. I don't leave the house until I am certain I am empty.


Wasn't this the premise of that Beatles' song with the lyrics "a girl with colitis goes by"?
 
2020-06-26 9:26:22 AM  
Linux_Yes:

PWW will get u a ticket by the poolice.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-26 9:26:56 AM  
I heard Subby's headline in David Attenborough's voice.
 
2020-06-26 9:27:36 AM  

Soup Poop: Poop thread poop thread
rolly polly poop thread
squat
poop
run


Those who write on farker walls
Roll their shiattt into little balls
And those who read these words of wit
Eat those little balls of shiattt.
 
2020-06-26 9:29:26 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Chompachangas: What an ass. I have colitis, so I have to plan my mornings carefully. I don't leave the house until I am certain I am empty.

Wasn't this the premise of that Beatles' song with the lyrics "a girl with colitis goes by"?


Thats from lucy in the sky with racing stripes.
 
2020-06-26 9:30:55 AM  

CrazyGerbilLady: Was it really necessary for the shop owner to make him pick it up with his bare hands? Why didn't he get him a bag? Or just let him use the washroom in the first place.


advanced civilizations have "designated pooping streets" for people who need them.

/also, we should hook up
//Mrs. Gerbil doesn't mind.
 
2020-06-26 9:31:48 AM  

CrazyGerbilLady: Was it really necessary for the shop owner to make him pick it up with his bare hands? Why didn't he get him a bag? Or just let him use the washroom in the first place.


Bec the shop owner happened to be The Scatman.

Marvels new super hero.
 
2020-06-26 9:34:45 AM  

Chompachangas: What an ass. I have colitis, so I have to plan my mornings carefully. I don't leave the house until I am certain I am empty. This twat waffle can't be bothered to wait until he's done pooping before going for a run.


Same here. If we can plan ahead so that we do all our pooping in toilets, the able-butted certainly can.
 
2020-06-26 9:36:18 AM  

Bennie Crabtree: I did not know this was a thing. I expected a thread of horror, and instead Farkers all like, oh yeah this is totally normal. Maybe it is because I live in a country with lots of snow and swarms of mosquitoes, so I've never heard of this even as an accident?


You've seriously never needed to take a crap when there was not a washroom around? I mean I also live in a land of ice and snow and mosquitos, and it doesn't relieve me from the need to poop and pee.

One time I was driving a cousin from Europe home from the airport (we were in New Brunswick), and she told me she needed to go to the bathroom. I told her I'd pull over to the side of the road so she could go in the woods. She thought I was joking. When she realized I was serious, she was horrified. I tried to explain that I didn't think there was going to be anything but woods for about an hour, so that was really going to be her only option. She continued to refuse and fortunately we did pass a restaurant that was just closing up and reluctantly the owner let her use the bathroom. I don't know what we would have done otherwise. When you gotta go you gotta go.
 
2020-06-26 9:38:47 AM  
"Poo Joggers" was Dave Grohl's first choice for his band's name.

/sorry
 
2020-06-26 9:39:02 AM  
I have finished more than one long run with one sock fewer than I started with.

/usually will poop in the woods.
//had to knock on a stranger's door once.
///Sorry to the motorists in Philly that I mooned during the Philly Marathon.
 
2020-06-26 9:42:22 AM  

Two16: [Fark user image image 444x600]


I swear to god I can smell that picture.
 
2020-06-26 9:45:22 AM  
He had to carry it with his bare hands? Did he not even bring TP? What did he plan on doing after pooing? The idea of running without cleaning off the bum is horrifying. My god, the chaffing...
 
2020-06-26 9:55:59 AM  

Thosw: stuhayes2010: I've never had to do this.  Came
Close once or twice while out jogging or walking, if illness strikes, it strikes.

Though, I'd prolly just poo my pants rather than dump in some random corner.

It's not really an illness thing. The constant motion just kinda works your colon until you gotta go. I would think runners are already aware of this (or will be) and plan accordingly. Some don't plan so well, and some don't care and take care of business when and where it happens.


Anyone who's ever jogged has encountered this, eh, phenomenon.  The way to prevent it is plan your daily jog around your bowel movements.  Try to get on a schedule of doing your business in the morning or at lunch or right after work, whatever's convenient, and then go for your run.  After a while it becomes Pavlovian: You feel the urge to run after every bm.
 
2020-06-26 10:01:43 AM  

Two16: [Fark user image image 444x600]


Zooming in on the faces of the horrified bystanders yields unexpected hilarity.
 
2020-06-26 10:27:45 AM  

Linux_Yes: Soup Poop: Poop thread poop thread
rolly polly poop thread
squat
poop
run

Those who write on farker walls
Roll their shiattt into little balls
And those who read these words of wit
Eat those little balls of shiattt.


They paint these walls
To foul my pen
But the shiathouse Poet
Strikes again.

/Old news is old.
// Knew a guy who collected these scribbles
/// He's got a million of them
 
2020-06-26 10:41:15 AM  
Man poops in public mall
Youtube y5aqHjqgq20

0:48
 
2020-06-26 11:02:20 AM  

Bennie Crabtree: I did not know this was a thing. I expected a thread of horror, and instead Farkers all like, oh yeah this is totally normal. Maybe it is because I live in a country with lots of snow and swarms of mosquitoes, so I've never heard of this even as an accident?


I've done half marathons and run thousands of miles. This is not normal behavior.  Weirdos who don't control their food intake or properly time their runs tend to be the ones with this issue.

I'm sensitive to garlic and allergic to seafood.  Just control your intake and BMs and you won't have this problem.  Be extremely careful starting 3 days before a race.

Accidents happen, but if you are careful they don't have to.
 
2020-06-26 11:09:14 AM  

holdmybones: Did I miss the location on this? We had a local poo jogger but everyone assumed it was a woman, I believe.

I had a roommate years ago who went on long runs and always took toilet paper with him. It never occurred to me at the time that he was shiatting in random spots - which should have been painfully obvious. This seems like a pretty common shiatty behavior.


Heh.

I once shiat on a run, diarrhea snuck up on me.

Luckily it was in a wooded area so I just ducked into the woods and did my business and then gingerly walked home.

TMI?  Probably TMI.

/shiaty story bro
 
2020-06-26 11:45:28 AM  
(helicopter sounds)
You...YES YOU..BEHIND THE TRASHCAN...
DON'T POOP IN IT....
 
2020-06-26 11:59:24 AM  

Thosw: stuhayes2010: I've never had to do this.  Came
Close once or twice while out jogging or walking, if illness strikes, it strikes.

Though, I'd prolly just poo my pants rather than dump in some random corner.

It's not really an illness thing. The constant motion just kinda works your colon until you gotta go. I would think runners are already aware of this (or will be) and plan accordingly. Some don't plan so well, and some don't care and take care of business when and where it happens.


With so many public restroom currently closed, it's making things a little more challenging for long runs. Nothing like being 15 miles from home with a turtle head popping out.
 
2020-06-26 12:19:58 PM  
The Mad Pooper still at large.
 
2020-06-26 3:05:47 PM  
Are we becoming like China?

They have similar problems over there in their big cities -- from toddlers. Moms dress their kids in like an open ended skirt and let them wander around, squatting and doing their business wherever they choose and don't bother cleaning it up. The Chinese government is trying to stop it.

If jogging makes you shiat, then jog close to home where you can run to your own bathroom and knock off the filthy habit.
 
2020-06-26 5:05:18 PM  

CrazyGerbilLady: Bennie Crabtree: I did not know this was a thing. I expected a thread of horror, and instead Farkers all like, oh yeah this is totally normal. Maybe it is because I live in a country with lots of snow and swarms of mosquitoes, so I've never heard of this even as an accident?

You've seriously never needed to take a crap when there was not a washroom around? I mean I also live in a land of ice and snow and mosquitos, and it doesn't relieve me from the need to poop and pee.

One time I was driving a cousin from Europe home from the airport (we were in New Brunswick), and she told me she needed to go to the bathroom. I told her I'd pull over to the side of the road so she could go in the woods. She thought I was joking. When she realized I was serious, she was horrified. I tried to explain that I didn't think there was going to be anything but woods for about an hour, so that was really going to be her only option. She continued to refuse and fortunately we did pass a restaurant that was just closing up and reluctantly the owner let her use the bathroom. I don't know what we would have done otherwise. When you gotta go you gotta go.


Most of us who live outside a big city or who've gone camping have taken a crap in the woods. Doing it on a city street (next to someone's shop!) is something else entirely. Having clean public restrooms is one of the purposes behind the existence of fast food places. If you like to run at a time when restrooms aren't open, take a plastic bag with you and poop in that. Just like I do for my dog. This isn't rocket science. It just takes a little forethought.
 
2020-06-26 10:07:38 PM  

NotARocketScientist: CrazyGerbilLady: Bennie Crabtree: I did not know this was a thing. I expected a thread of horror, and instead Farkers all like, oh yeah this is totally normal. Maybe it is because I live in a country with lots of snow and swarms of mosquitoes, so I've never heard of this even as an accident?

You've seriously never needed to take a crap when there was not a washroom around? I mean I also live in a land of ice and snow and mosquitos, and it doesn't relieve me from the need to poop and pee.

One time I was driving a cousin from Europe home from the airport (we were in New Brunswick), and she told me she needed to go to the bathroom. I told her I'd pull over to the side of the road so she could go in the woods. She thought I was joking. When she realized I was serious, she was horrified. I tried to explain that I didn't think there was going to be anything but woods for about an hour, so that was really going to be her only option. She continued to refuse and fortunately we did pass a restaurant that was just closing up and reluctantly the owner let her use the bathroom. I don't know what we would have done otherwise. When you gotta go you gotta go.

Most of us who live outside a big city or who've gone camping have taken a crap in the woods. Doing it on a city street (next to someone's shop!) is something else entirely. Having clean public restrooms is one of the purposes behind the existence of fast food places. If you like to run at a time when restrooms aren't open, take a plastic bag with you and poop in that. Just like I do for my dog. This isn't rocket science. It just takes a little forethought.


But we're talking about the Rogues of the pooping away from home world.
 
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