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(EurekAlert)   A 5-minute urine test can reveal the quality of your diet and whether it's the best fit for your body. But who can pee for five minutes?   (eurekalert.org) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Nutrition, research team, Health, health of a person, new type of five-minute urine test, Professor Paul Elliott, Dr Joram Posma, Imperial College London  
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1715 clicks; posted to Main » and Geek » on 25 Jun 2020 at 10:48 AM (12 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



57 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2020-06-25 9:00:31 AM  
Anything is possible on "two-for-one" tuesdays at Shooters.
 
2020-06-25 10:30:09 AM  
An enlarged prostate can make it seem that long...
 
2020-06-25 10:50:50 AM  
I have peed for five minutes. Too many beers. Running late to an event. Stood in a parking lot emptying my bladder as friends watched in astonishment.
 
2020-06-25 10:50:59 AM  
They could call it "Urine Luck"
 
2020-06-25 10:51:16 AM  
Raises hand; Sees doctor.
 
2020-06-25 10:52:03 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-25 10:53:37 AM  
Scientists at Imperial College London in collaboration with colleagues at Northwestern University, University of Illinois, and Murdoch University, analysed levels of 46 different so-called metabolites in the urine of 1,848 people in the U.S.

And that's when I stopped reading whatever this so-called reporter had to say.
 
2020-06-25 10:53:55 AM  
But is the branding right? Is it the most luxurious urine test?

i.imgur.comView Full Size


/ it's real
 
2020-06-25 10:54:20 AM  
I don't think you have to study for that test.
 
2020-06-25 10:56:06 AM  
Adam sandler: Longest pee (FUNNY)
Youtube FiZaMnMN6YQ
 
2020-06-25 10:56:25 AM  
The Sound of Relief - The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (3/10) Movie CLIP (1988) HD
Youtube pdE83FX-Mto
 
2020-06-25 10:59:37 AM  
In my early twenties, I bet a guy that I could out-wait him for having to go the bathroom at the bar. After the fifth pint of beer, he caved. Out of principle, I waited another 15 minutes before I finally went. It felt like that scene in Strange Brew - I could have put out a medium-sized house fire at least.
 
2020-06-25 11:02:40 AM  

The Irresponsible Captain: But is the branding right? Is it the most luxurious urine test?

[i.imgur.com image 850x446]

/ it's real


Came for this.  Leaving feeling 'eesh'.
 
2020-06-25 11:03:46 AM  
I timed it once, I think I lasted almost 2 minutes pissing.  The kidneys or something in the lower back hurts when you do that.
 
2020-06-25 11:04:05 AM  
Jimmy Pees, Dottie Does the Line-Up - A League of Their Own (3/8) Movie CLIP (1992) HD
Youtube NaKBQWLRJqw
 
2020-06-25 11:04:07 AM  
When you need to get an ultrasound and you're not pregnant (this is to check for tumors on the uterus and ovaries), they instruct you to drink a couple 2 liters worth of water, and hold it until they can do the procedure.

I've seen a horse piss. Now I feel a sense of solidarity.
 
2020-06-25 11:04:45 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-25 11:05:30 AM  
Depends, is tequila involved?
 
2020-06-25 11:05:35 AM  

Cythraul: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/NaKBQWLR​Jqw]


tiny fist, etc.
 
2020-06-25 11:05:53 AM  

Squid_for_Brains: When you need to get an ultrasound and you're not pregnant (this is to check for tumors on the uterus and ovaries), they instruct you to drink a couple 2 liters worth of water, and hold it until they can do the procedure.

I've seen a horse piss. Now I feel a sense of solidarity.


God, that was the worst part of getting checked for an ovarian tumor. I think the lower back pain that made me pass out at work and sent me to the hospital was less uncomfortable.
 
2020-06-25 11:08:56 AM  
Came for Naked Gun/League of Their Own, leaving relieved.
 
2020-06-25 11:09:09 AM  
Ogre Piss - Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise (1987)
Youtube KMs3vRUP558
 
2020-06-25 11:12:08 AM  
But who can pee for five minutes?
media1.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-25 11:13:19 AM  
AirForceVet -I have peed for five minutes. Too many beers. Running late to an event. Stood in a parking lot emptying my bladder as friends watched in astonishment.

You tell it blue. Once rode a bucking 130E from Homstead to Pope and drank coffee the entire time (a skill I still have fortunately). Was okay until about five minutes out and once we landed, I hit the ground running. I don't know how long it was, but it sure seemed like four or five minutes.

/boy was that a long time ago... early 80s...
//still have a love/hate relationship with flying...
///still dwelling on this 'Space Force' thing...
 
2020-06-25 11:16:56 AM  

The Irresponsible Captain: But is the branding right? Is it the most luxurious urine test?

[i.imgur.com image 850x446]

/ it's real


So's the pee tape.
 
2020-06-25 11:17:35 AM  
My diet sucks and it sure as hell ias not he best fit for my body and i don't need a piss test and a several thousand dollar medical bill to tell me that.
 
2020-06-25 11:20:11 AM  
This your first day here, subs?
 
2020-06-25 11:21:27 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-25 11:27:07 AM  
Not with my bladder it isn't.
 
2020-06-25 11:27:16 AM  

payattention: AirForceVet -I have peed for five minutes. Too many beers. Running late to an event. Stood in a parking lot emptying my bladder as friends watched in astonishment.

You tell it blue. Once rode a bucking 130E from Homstead to Pope and drank coffee the entire time (a skill I still have fortunately). Was okay until about five minutes out and once we landed, I hit the ground running. I don't know how long it was, but it sure seemed like four or five minutes.

/boy was that a long time ago... early 80s...
//still have a love/hate relationship with flying...
///still dwelling on this 'Space Force' thing...


w0rd. I'm not applying to Space Force because I'm the kind of guy who would have to pee as soon as we left the atmosphere, and then I'd have to hold it all the way to the moon. If we were going to Jupiter Base, I would feel the need just as the cryosleep kicked in and my dreams would be so messed up.
 
2020-06-25 11:31:42 AM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: In my early twenties, I bet a guy that I could out-wait him for having to go the bathroom at the bar. After the fifth pint of beer, he caved. Out of principle, I waited another 15 minutes before I finally went. It felt like that scene in Strange Brew - I could have put out a medium-sized house fire at least.


quotemaster.orgView Full Size
 
2020-06-25 11:33:03 AM  
I peed for awhile after playing edward 40-hands
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-25 11:35:37 AM  
"The team found the difference between high energy urine (i.e. high DMS score) and low energy urine (low DMS score) was equivalent to someone with a high DMS score losing an extra 4 calories a day, or 1,500 calories a year. The team calculate this could translate to a difference of 215g of body fat per year. "

Whoop, whoop!
 
2020-06-25 11:38:12 AM  

MillionDollarMo: They could call it "Urine Luck"


That company already exists.
 
2020-06-25 11:39:11 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-25 11:40:05 AM  
 
2020-06-25 11:40:28 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-25 11:42:10 AM  
Well, speaking as a 58 year old white male, not continuously, but 5 minutes I can do sitting down. With a book, maybe 25.
 
2020-06-25 11:43:49 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 500x334]


Trump must have a prostate the size of an

a) orange
b) yam
c) gourd
d) prize-winning pumpkin

judging from the size of his ass.

I'm talking Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater's second home size.
 
2020-06-25 11:46:40 AM  

Cajnik: But who can pee for five minutes?


NSFW-ish maybe:

whitest kids you know pee
Youtube YVWlnH2HLTU
 
2020-06-25 11:52:46 AM  
IRT epic peeing, the first time after surgery is usually pretty well up there.

I had a 7 hour procedure once, and even though I had a catheter in during it when they got me up to go after I got back to my room I filled the liter urinal jug 3/4 full.
 
2020-06-25 11:54:12 AM  

Vkingbanna: 21 seconds, +/- 13 seconds.
https://www.discovermagazine.com/plane​t-earth/regardless-of-bladder-size-all​-mammals-pee-for-approximately-21-seco​nds-with-video-goodness


When I first heard of that I decided to count.  It's uncannily accurate (unlike my stream).
 
2020-06-25 11:59:41 AM  

TheSwizz: [Fark user image image 580x261]


I loudly laughed in the movie theatre when Austin Powers ate asparagus and the guard sniffed the air, and again when he drank the water but his pee stream started shooting air.

Also, Subby's headline should be HOTY. I laughed out loud.


/I like pee jokes
 
2020-06-25 12:05:52 PM  
I'm reminded of the times I drank a gallon of "3 hour tea", ate some bacon and vitamins so I could pass a test.

/hindsight: I didn't need the tea, the rest did the trick.
 
2020-06-25 12:07:37 PM  
A lot of pissy comments today....
 
2020-06-25 12:13:14 PM  
an individual's unique urine 'fingerprint'.

That's not a finger...
 
2020-06-25 12:20:23 PM  
A joke I play when on the phone is "I gotta pee hope you dont mind" And use a pitcher to pour into the toilet. After a while the other person is like WTF!
 
2020-06-25 12:24:19 PM  
Part of my quarantine boredom led me to test whether a 32-oz Gatorade bottle would really do the trick in an emergency. After filling, pinching it off, and emptying the bottle, I filled it another halfway. If you keep a container handy on long road trips, make it a half gallon minimum.
 
2020-06-25 12:26:42 PM  
I have "Gamer Bladder"

I can hold it at critical for hours if need be.

Post raid pees have been epic, often producing applause from the wife in the other room.
 
2020-06-25 12:40:04 PM  

Boondock3806: Part of my quarantine boredom led me to test whether a 32-oz Gatorade bottle would really do the trick in an emergency. After filling, pinching it off, and emptying the bottle, I filled it another halfway. If you keep a container handy on long road trips, make it a half gallon minimum.


They sell Gatorade in 2-liter bottles.

Those have the same weener friendly mouth, too.
 
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