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(Comic Book)   Out of ideas and now having an Imperial farkton of time in their hands, Hollywood film execs decide that Twister needs rebooted   (comicbook.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Twister, updated film, Steven Spielberg, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Michael Crichton, Universal Pictures, such groundbreaking special effects, movie's release  
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487 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Jun 2020 at 11:22 PM (9 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-06-24 6:47:10 PM  
The article mentions the Top Gun Sequel, which is decades & decades after the 1st one, which I also think will bomb as the Twister reboot.  BTW Top Gun sequel should have been named Top Gun: The Gematric years.
 
2020-06-24 7:37:04 PM  
Twister 2: The Twistering
Twister 2: Twistier
Twisters!
Twister 2: Firenado
Twister 2: A Vortex of Suck
 
2020-06-24 7:54:56 PM  
Looks like Subby's mom is getting rebooted tonight...

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2020-06-24 8:44:28 PM  
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2020-06-24 8:44:49 PM  

bluorangefyre: [Fark user image 559x142]


Just to be clear, that's from the talks about rebooting The Princess Bride.
 
2020-06-24 9:00:58 PM  
Twister?  The one with all the Pepsi ads?
 
2020-06-24 10:43:41 PM  

foo monkey: Twister?  The one with all the Pepsi ads?


And the beginnings of a Fleetwood Mac reunion.  Yep, that one.
 
2020-06-24 11:25:18 PM  
Maybe this time, hire a director who has actually been in an area that gets tornadoes.
 
2020-06-24 11:31:13 PM  
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2020-06-24 11:32:49 PM  
It had a flying cow.  You can't beat that.
 
2020-06-24 11:35:19 PM  
When this thing was on television, I started watching because I like Helen Hunt.  At the beginning we have the scene where a tornado hits and we see Hunt's character (as a child) watch her father get sucked away.  Cut to Hunt years later as an intrepid storm chaser.  I remember screaming "This is her motivation?!  She does this 'cause a twister killed her paw?"  I changed the channel and never went back.
 
2020-06-24 11:35:36 PM  

growinthings: The article mentions the Top Gun Sequel, which is decades & decades after the 1st one, which I also think will bomb as the Twister reboot.  BTW Top Gun sequel should have been named Top Gun: The Gematric years.


Oh, you're also not gonna like seeing the new Bill & Ted ads either.
 
2020-06-24 11:42:39 PM  

joepennerlives: When this thing was on television, I started watching because I like Helen Hunt.  At the beginning we have the scene where a tornado hits and we see Hunt's character (as a child) watch her father get sucked away.  Cut to Hunt years later as an intrepid storm chaser.  I remember screaming "This is her motivation?!  She does this 'cause a twister killed her paw?"  I changed the channel and never went back.


Story, Bro.
 
2020-06-24 11:42:59 PM  
Anyone else read that as "Twitter" getting rebooted?
 
2020-06-24 11:49:28 PM  
Oh I know!  Put sharks in the twister!
 
2020-06-24 11:59:30 PM  
*Remake
 
2020-06-25 12:03:31 AM  

bluorangefyre: bluorangefyre: [Fark user image 559x142]

Just to be clear, that's from the talks about rebooting The Princess Bride.


And it's just as applicable here. Twister is by no means a masterpiece, but the parts all just fit right in a way that I can't see a reboot doing justice to.
 
2020-06-25 12:15:47 AM  

joepennerlives: When this thing was on television, I started watching because I like Helen Hunt.  At the beginning we have the scene where a tornado hits and we see Hunt's character (as a child) watch her father get sucked away.  Cut to Hunt years later as an intrepid storm chaser.  I remember screaming "This is her motivation?!  She does this 'cause a twister killed her paw?"  I changed the channel and never went back.


When I got to the part where they introduced the evil bad guy storm chasers, I almost walked out of the movie. Seriously... they can't come up with enough conflict, they needed to add in Cary Elwes playing a Snidely Whiplash character? That's some of the laziest writing I've ever seen.
 
2020-06-25 12:17:54 AM  
They did that already, six years ago.
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2020-06-25 12:25:05 AM  
It's time for a gritty take on the life and times of Spock's little brother, Spork.

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2020-06-25 12:26:21 AM  
"to be" or not "to be", that is the pet peeve

/on their hands
 
2020-06-25 12:31:48 AM  

joepennerlives: When this thing was on television, I started watching because I like Helen Hunt.  At the beginning we have the scene where a tornado hits and we see Hunt's character (as a child) watch her father get sucked away.  Cut to Hunt years later as an intrepid storm chaser.  I remember screaming "This is her motivation?!  She does this 'cause a twister killed her paw?"  I changed the channel and never went back.


So, you're saying her motivation. . . Sucked?
 
2020-06-25 12:34:50 AM  

stoli n coke: Maybe this time, hire a director who has actually been in an area that gets tornadoes.


Nah, go for the gusto. It's gonna be a train wreck, find a director who'll make sure it's a train wreck with clown cars and fireworks.

What's M. Night Shyamalan up to lately?
 
2020-06-25 12:39:37 AM  

fragMasterFlash: Looks like Subby's mom is getting rebooted tonight...

[Fark user image 384x512]


There's a reason those mats are stain-resistant vinyl.
 
2020-06-25 12:40:11 AM  
I love the ending. Sure, houses can be torn apart and cows can be sent flying. But, a leather strap attached to a pipe will keep you safe.

Never mind all that airborne debris, any concept of physics or reality in general.
 
2020-06-25 12:46:28 AM  

HighwayBill: "to be" or not "to be", that is the pet peeve

/on their hands


Thisly
 
2020-06-25 12:56:15 AM  
Well, if it's produced by The Weather Channel and has the proper soundtrack, I'm all for it.

100 Hours of Vaporwave, 4/100: Our Local Forecast [56:11]
Youtube IOwrDLoma2w
 
2020-06-25 12:56:34 AM  

Boojum2k: stoli n coke: Maybe this time, hire a director who has actually been in an area that gets tornadoes.

Nah, go for the gusto. It's gonna be a train wreck, find a director who'll make sure it's a train wreck with clown cars and fireworks.

What's M. Night Shyamalan up to lately?


Perfect director for the two stars, John Cena and Gerard Butler
 
2020-06-25 12:57:03 AM  
The bottle never hit the ground.
 
2020-06-25 12:57:56 AM  

HighwayBill: "to be" or not "to be", that is the pet peeve

/on their hands


Yeah, subby needs educated.
 
2020-06-25 1:27:34 AM  

kittyhas1000legs: HighwayBill: "to be" or not "to be", that is the pet peeve

/on their hands

Yeah, subby needs educated.


Or to tell autocorrect that on doesn't need to be changed to in, and vice versa.
 
2020-06-25 1:35:09 AM  
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-25 1:44:00 AM  

kittyhas1000legs: HighwayBill: "to be" or not "to be", that is the pet peeve

/on their hands

Yeah, subby needs educated.


Subby might just need educating.
 
2020-06-25 2:06:07 AM  
Okay.

"Here is a movie about killer tornadoes that are weirdly gigantic and absurdly specific in a 'consciously malicious' way, but our viewpoint characters are going to keep making stupid decisions to put them in the tornado, and nothing that happens in the tornado that should clearly kill them all instantly is going to so much as scratch their makeup, because you're here to watch cool tornado shiat and either one of those things would make us stop having cool tornado shiat on screen for too long.  The movie will not attempt to convince you that it's serious or 'realistic' because protesting too much takes up screen time with stuff that isn't cool tornado shiat, and realistic physics would make the cool tornado shiat less cool.  The movie will not have the characters in the film lampshade how silly the movie is or fourth wall break or do any of that Scary Movie 4 shiat, because intentionally breaking suspension of disbelief to remind you that you are sitting in a chair watching a movie about cool tornado shiat and not, in fact, actually seeing real cool tornado shiat reduces the amount of cool tornado shiat being delivered into the visual center of your brain."

... yeah, I'll buy it as a remake pitch.

This is probably the kind of movie that will at least not suffer from being remade.  There's no plot to screw up in translation, and you don't really get more high concept than "tornadoes are farking cool, brah", so it's not like there's some delicate nuance that'll be lost here.

Honestly, if they fark it up it'll probably be by way of trying to make it better, since it's more of a 'so bad it's good' movie than a movie anyone enjoys for its artistic merits.
 
2020-06-25 2:20:25 AM  
*to be* rebooted. I don't know when we stopped including to be in random phrases, but it's annoying.

Also: the lawn needs *to be* mowed.

Alright. I'm done. Thank you.
 
2020-06-25 2:34:41 AM  

EmmaLou: *to be* rebooted. I don't know when we stopped including to be in random phrases, but it's annoying.

Also: the lawn needs *to be* mowed.

Alright. I'm done. Thank you.


Assuming it's to shorten the sentence, the best alteration is actually probably "-ing".

The lawn needs mowing.  Same meaning, only one extra letter instead of two additional words.
 
2020-06-25 2:42:41 AM  

joepennerlives: "This is her motivation?! She does this 'cause a twister killed her paw?"


Yup, that's how Helen Hunt became Superman.
 
2020-06-25 2:56:57 AM  
"Needs rebooted"?
Is there anyone left here with at least a third grade education?
 
2020-06-25 2:59:10 AM  
Depends on who plays & what they wear.
 
2020-06-25 3:09:31 AM  

gas giant: joepennerlives: "This is her motivation?! She does this 'cause a twister killed her paw?"

Yup, that's how Helen Hunt became Superman.


It was a shame when her papa, Martha, was shot in an alley by a tornado.
 
2020-06-25 3:25:17 AM  

Dybbuk Schmybbuk: "Needs rebooted"?
Is there anyone left here with at least a third grade education?


That's how schools be anymore.
 
2020-06-25 4:09:21 AM  
WHERE'S MY MISTER ED MOVIE HOLLYWOOD!?
 
2020-06-25 5:03:44 AM  

leviosaurus: joepennerlives: When this thing was on television, I started watching because I like Helen Hunt.  At the beginning we have the scene where a tornado hits and we see Hunt's character (as a child) watch her father get sucked away.  Cut to Hunt years later as an intrepid storm chaser.  I remember screaming "This is her motivation?!  She does this 'cause a twister killed her paw?"  I changed the channel and never went back.

When I got to the part where they introduced the evil bad guy storm chasers, I almost walked out of the movie. Seriously... they can't come up with enough conflict, they needed to add in Cary Elwes playing a Snidely Whiplash character? That's some of the laziest writing I've ever seen.


The Perfect Storm with George Clooney had the same problem. When the plot of the movie amounts to nothing more than, "so there's this storm, right?" you have to pad out the run time with people who shouldn't be enemies having arguments with each other for no reason.
 
2020-06-25 5:25:45 AM  

JasonOfOrillia: It had a flying cow.  You can't beat that.


Sharknado had flying sharks! Checkmate!
 
2020-06-25 5:28:53 AM  

Naido: Oh I know!  Put sharks in the twister!


Yes and hire Brian Austin Green as the lead!
 
2020-06-25 5:29:10 AM  

joepennerlives: When this thing was on television, I started watching because I like Helen Hunt.  At the beginning we have the scene where a tornado hits and we see Hunt's character (as a child) watch her father get sucked away.  Cut to Hunt years later as an intrepid storm chaser.  I remember screaming "This is her motivation?!  She does this 'cause a twister killed her paw?"  I changed the channel and never went back.


Oooookay. Good for you, I guess.
 
2020-06-25 5:30:45 AM  

Boojum2k: stoli n coke: Maybe this time, hire a director who has actually been in an area that gets tornadoes.

Nah, go for the gusto. It's gonna be a train wreck, find a director who'll make sure it's a train wreck with clown cars and fireworks.

What's M. Night Shyamalan up to lately?


And he likes to put twists in his movies!
 
2020-06-25 5:31:55 AM  

exparrot: Boojum2k: stoli n coke: Maybe this time, hire a director who has actually been in an area that gets tornadoes.

Nah, go for the gusto. It's gonna be a train wreck, find a director who'll make sure it's a train wreck with clown cars and fireworks.

What's M. Night Shyamalan up to lately?

Perfect director for the two stars, John Cena and Gerard Butler


It should be a musical!
 
2020-06-25 7:23:24 AM  

HighwayBill: "to be" or not "to be", that is the pet peeve

/on their hands


fark yes!
 
2020-06-25 8:03:10 AM  
Someone must have seen those recent pics of Helen Hunt where she looks like Fire Marshall Bill.
 
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