Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Onion)   11 simple cocktails to try while quarantining, Yes it's a slide show, but it's also The Onion. Bon appetit   (theonion.com) divider line
    More: Satire, Cocktail, ounces of whiskey, Fruit, Citrus, Vitamin C, JonBent Ramsey, Martini, ounces gin  
•       •       •

852 clicks; posted to Food » on 23 Jun 2020 at 12:50 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



12 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-06-23 12:40:57 PM  
My quarantine has been like this, but with margaritas:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-23 1:04:50 PM  
The second one left an unfunny taste in my mouth, and I stopped there.
 
2020-06-23 1:07:14 PM  
The JonBenét Ramsey:This is your classic Shirley Temple with a twist: Simply mix grenadine, a maraschino cherry, lemon-lime soda, and enough Scotch to make the unforgivable mistake of wetting the bed.

...what....

Gin And Piss: Need to come down from a tough week at the (virtual) office? Cool off with a summery glass of gin and piss, the perfect blend of piney and salty. Consume a large amount of pineapple juice a couple days before for a sweeter drink.

...the...

Sweet Release:Pour 1.5 ounces gin, 0.5 ounce lime juice, and 0.5 ounce simple syrup into a tumbler glass. Slowly squeeze the tumbler glass. Keep squeezing, feeling the fear, the anxiety, the frustration course through you. Continue squeezing. You're angry and afraid. Feel the glass start to crack between your fingers. Keep squeezing. Squeeze as hard as you farking can.

...yeah, OK, I'll take a double of that, please.
 
2020-06-23 1:07:51 PM  

skyotter: The second one left an unfunny taste in my mouth, and I stopped there.


Keep going - it's worth it. Yes, that's a grim cocktail, but a Sweet Release will help. Trust me.
 
2020-06-23 1:10:39 PM  
I'm working from home. It's five business days before the end of the fiscal year at Microsoft, and our team doesn't know if our contract's going to be extended. We don't know if the client isn't telling the agency, or if the agency isn't telling us. The last time this happened, it was because the agency didn't tell us. The agency just had us inventory our hardware, though, so it's not looking good. No one is talking to us.

I could use a Sweet Release for lunch, I think.
 
2020-06-23 1:18:09 PM  
Bacon is a key part of life, but gout is a cruel mistress, Subby.

...don't ask me how I know.
 
2020-06-23 1:20:07 PM  
I've been served Gin and Piss a few times. They called it Tonic, but there's no way anyone would choose to drink something that bad.
 
2020-06-23 1:51:38 PM  
Sweet Release:Pour 1.5 ounces gin, 0.5 ounce lime juice, and 0.5 ounce simple syrup into a tumbler glass. Slowly squeeze the tumbler glass. Keep squeezing, feeling the fear, the anxiety, the frustration course through you. Continue squeezing. You're angry and afraid. Feel the glass start to crack between your fingers. Keep squeezing. Squeeze as hard as you farking can.

10/10 Would LOL again.
 
2020-06-23 2:07:02 PM  
No "Hairy Buffalo"?

/Bartender version...not party version.
 
2020-06-23 3:10:57 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: My quarantine has been like this, but with margaritas:

[Fark user image 434x376]


Same.  I don't know what it is, but I've been rocking the margaritas for weeks now.
 
2020-06-23 4:30:34 PM  

UberDave: No "Hairy Buffalo"?

/Bartender version...not party version.


You mean Buffalo Sweat?
 
2020-06-23 8:13:21 PM  

NobleHam: I've been served Gin and Piss a few times. They called it Tonic, but there's no way anyone would choose to drink something that bad.


Random facepalm: There were morons online gouging on tonic water because it contains.... quinine.
 
Displayed 12 of 12 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.