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    More: Awkward, Upper Peninsula of Michigan, Michigan, MARQUETTE COUNTY, Michigan DNR officer, unlucky encounter, Memorial Day weekend, Upper Peninsula, DNR District  
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5750 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2020 at 3:33 AM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-06-22 8:48:44 PM  
Yeah, you want something spread around, tell a small child.
 
2020-06-22 8:53:43 PM  
Last time they take that kid fishing.
 
2020-06-22 8:57:39 PM  
I just recalled the day my little daughter needed her bangs trimmed. Mrs Earguy was out, daughter had taken a bath, so I combed out her wet hair and carefully trimmed the bangs.

I didn't know that wet hair is longer than dry hair. Her hair dried and her bangs were ridiculously short. Mrs Earguy returned home. "What happened to your hair???"

DADDY CUT IT!  she exclaimed proudly.

25 years later I still haven't lived it down.
 
2020-06-22 8:59:17 PM  

labman: Last time they take that kid fishing.


No, just the last time they bring him back from fishing.
 
2020-06-23 3:45:14 AM  

LordOfThePings: labman: Last time they take that kid fishing.

No, just the last time they bring him back from fishing.


When trolling for 'gators, it's only bait if they're still alive, otherwise it's just chum.
 
2020-06-23 3:48:34 AM  
There's little reason other than being an obstinate oaf not to have a life jacket. When I bought some inflatable kayaks I bought 4x made in the USA coast guard registered jackets. Sure they cost half as much as the boats, but it's good to know that if push comes to shove you have the right emergency equipment. Compared to the cost of a real boat $25/jacket is a drop in a very, very large bucket.
 
2020-06-23 3:54:52 AM  
When I was 5, my mother got pulled over for speeding. The law at the time was children under 6 had to wear a seatbelt. Cop asked my age. I held up 5 fingers. Mom got a ticket.

Today she still tells that story as if I did something wrong. Mom. You were speeding and I was sliding around the bench seat like half a bottle of Pepsi.
 
2020-06-23 3:57:09 AM  
Child protective services might want to do a home check tomorrow.
 
2020-06-23 4:02:07 AM  
Someone's getting socks for Christmas
 
2020-06-23 4:05:51 AM  
You spend two years teaching them to talk and the next twenty wishing they would shut up.
 
2020-06-23 4:31:57 AM  
That's coming out of that kid's college fund.
 
2020-06-23 4:33:32 AM  
Paybacks are hell.
 
2020-06-23 4:48:22 AM  
vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size


What next weekend's fishing trip will look like

/i know it was you, timmy.  you broke my heart
 
2020-06-23 4:49:40 AM  
Lousy, rat-fink kids!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-23 5:07:33 AM  
The conservation officers or game wardens or what ever they are there were going to physically check for life jackets regardless what the kid said. They always do.
 
2020-06-23 5:15:59 AM  

LaChanz: The conservation officers or game wardens or what ever they are there were going to physically check for life jackets regardless what the kid said. They always do.


Yep. They were busted the moment he pulled up, regardless of any kind commentary.

Cute story though.
 
2020-06-23 5:21:08 AM  
I hope the Walleye was delicious though....Love me some Walleye...
 
2020-06-23 5:28:53 AM  
Everything in the upper peninsula is larger than life.
 
2020-06-23 6:17:03 AM  

robodog: There's little reason other than being an obstinate oaf not to have a life jacket. When I bought some inflatable kayaks I bought 4x made in the USA coast guard registered jackets. Sure they cost half as much as the boats, but it's good to know that if push comes to shove you have the right emergency equipment. Compared to the cost of a real boat $25/jacket is a drop in a very, very large bucket.


50 dollar kayaks?

Ya, better not skimp on the life jackets with those. :)
 
2020-06-23 7:28:42 AM  
When I was very young, one of my cousins died in the extremely cold Tanana River because none of the family in the boat had life jackets on. My uncle (his father) nearly died of hypothermia trying to save him.

As a result of that, my family never spent a moment of riverboating without life jackets on, and we spent a lot of time riverboating all over Alaska, including 2 months traveling the entire length of the Yukon River. My other uncle's family also spent a lot of time riverboating, and sank at least three boats that I know of, but always wore life jackets and lost nobody.

Wear your farking life jacket.
 
2020-06-23 7:38:56 AM  
Oblig:

That's not my mommy
Youtube yW6SHczG0EM
 
2020-06-23 8:07:10 AM  
CSB: When I was in 1st grade or so, anti-drinking commercials really hit home with me. One day when we arrived at my grandparents' house after a standard weekend drive, I told Grandma that my dad had been drinking and driving.

She went pale, marched over, demanded to know what the hell was happening. After a round of confusion and recriminations, it emerged that I had sort of misunderstood the commercials. Apparently the TV messages did not apply to the coffee he was sipping during the morning drive.

Everyone thought it was funny. I mean, not really my dad. But everyone else.
 
2020-06-23 8:23:50 AM  
while fishing with one of the Scarfetts the water patrol pulled up to our boat for a safety and license inspection. As they approach i tell said Scarfett that we're getting visitors, see looks at the patrol boat coming over and decides at that moment that she's too warm and takes off her life jacket to remove her hoodie.   We go through the normal license/fire extinguisher/throwable flotation check check and chit-chat and he says.  Everything looks OK but I have to give you a ticket because your daughter isn't wearing a life jacket.  Scarfett was distracted by me talking to water cops and forgot to put it back on.  I tried to explain that she did have one and she would put it back on but water cop was water cop and wrote out the ticket anyway.
 
2020-06-23 8:53:02 AM  
Some neighbors were at church one morning, and their young one was acting up. Finally, mom had had enough and was carrying him to silent area out back and the kid was yelling "Don't beat me, don't beat me." Nicest people ever and they never would have touched the kid.

/who grew up to be a rocket scientist
//really
///works at NASA
 
2020-06-23 9:05:04 AM  

PoweredByIrony: CSB: When I was in 1st grade or so, anti-drinking commercials really hit home with me. One day when we arrived at my grandparents' house after a standard weekend drive, I told Grandma that my dad had been drinking and driving.

She went pale, marched over, demanded to know what the hell was happening. After a round of confusion and recriminations, it emerged that I had sort of misunderstood the commercials. Apparently the TV messages did not apply to the coffee he was sipping during the morning drive.

Everyone thought it was funny. I mean, not really my dad. But everyone else.


I got car sick and puked in my dad's rum and coke once, he pulled over and screamed at me while he poured a new glass.

/different times.
 
2020-06-23 9:28:27 AM  

Snapper Carr: Someone's getting socks for Christmas


Hey, I LIKE getting socks for Christmas! Smartwool socks are awesome, but at ~$18 a pair they're hard for me to mentally justify so it's great to get a pair or two at Xmas every year to replace the ones that wear out.
 
2020-06-23 9:35:08 AM  

Smackledorfer: robodog: There's little reason other than being an obstinate oaf not to have a life jacket. When I bought some inflatable kayaks I bought 4x made in the USA coast guard registered jackets. Sure they cost half as much as the boats, but it's good to know that if push comes to shove you have the right emergency equipment. Compared to the cost of a real boat $25/jacket is a drop in a very, very large bucket.

50 dollar kayaks?

Ya, better not skimp on the life jackets with those. :)


$100 2-man, but yeah that was part of my thinking =)
They've actually proven to be pretty robust over the last 2 years. They'll leak a little bit of air after a few hours on the water, just like everything else I've ever bought from Intex, but for our purposes of taking a couple kayaks to the lake in the already packed truck they work well. They also saved me a bunch of money because I now know the wife doesn't really get into it like she did 10 years ago so I'll only be buying 1 of the more expensive ones when these wear out.
 
2020-06-23 10:01:04 AM  
Spent my entire childhood living on a boat on the Big Lake. My Dad always said that life jackets were only used to help find your body. Personally know of two of those situations.
 
2020-06-23 10:10:28 AM  

PoweredByIrony: CSB: When I was in 1st grade or so, anti-drinking commercials really hit home with me. One day when we arrived at my grandparents' house after a standard weekend drive, I told Grandma that my dad had been drinking and driving.

She went pale, marched over, demanded to know what the hell was happening. After a round of confusion and recriminations, it emerged that I had sort of misunderstood the commercials. Apparently the TV messages did not apply to the coffee he was sipping during the morning drive.

Everyone thought it was funny. I mean, not really my dad. But everyone else.


I did that to my mother too. Had just sat through a half hour lecture in farking kindergarten or grade 1 about drinking and driving except they never told us what 'drinking' was. When I saw my mother with the coffee I thought she was a hardened criminal.
 
2020-06-23 11:08:13 AM  
"Thanks you little farker. Guess what, mommy and daddy also didn't have a condom, which is still costing us money to this day. "
 
151
2020-06-23 11:41:29 AM  
Do NOT mess with the DNR. They are Michigan's Wu-Tang clan.

/Ain't nothin to fark with
 
2020-06-23 1:36:08 PM  
When I was 5 I told the neighbors my parents smoked pot. It was a small town in the 70s, so scandalous!!!
 
2020-06-23 2:02:04 PM  

PoweredByIrony: CSB: When I was in 1st grade or so, anti-drinking commercials really hit home with me. One day when we arrived at my grandparents' house after a standard weekend drive, I told Grandma that my dad had been drinking and driving.

She went pale, marched over, demanded to know what the hell was happening. After a round of confusion and recriminations, it emerged that I had sort of misunderstood the commercials. Apparently the TV messages did not apply to the coffee he was sipping during the morning drive.

Everyone thought it was funny. I mean, not really my dad. But everyone else.



In preschool I told my teachers that mom said that dad drank too much...

...well she meant cokes... dad didn't even drink alcohol back then.  This too resulted in awkward confrontation and confusion.
 
2020-06-23 2:18:32 PM  
I suppose none of the employees know or offer any CPR?
 
2020-06-23 3:35:42 PM  
Apparently, around 1978 when I was a kid, we were at a truck stop on the way to visit family. The waitress came to the table and took our orders, and when she got to me she said "And what do you want for dinner?" and I stood up in the booth and yelled, at the top of my lungs so the whole restaurant could hear it, "Rrrrrrrrrrrrubber biscuit!!!"

The Blues Brothers version of the song was apparently getting a lot of radio play at that point in time, and it stuck with me.
 
2020-06-23 4:14:38 PM  

151: Do NOT mess with the DNR. They are Michigan's Wu-Tang clan.

/Ain't nothin to fark with


They're for the children?
 
2020-06-23 5:10:06 PM  

KB202: You spend two years teaching them to talk and the next twenty wishing they would shut up.


Then remaining years hoping they call.
 
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