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(Kotaku)   Things that lasted longer than the Confederacy, video game edition. Exhibit 1: Nintendo Wii U   (kotaku.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Confederate States of America, American Civil War, United States, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Southern United States, Fighting game, Super Smash Bros., Grand Theft Auto V  
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689 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 17 Jun 2020 at 7:55 AM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



35 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-06-17 1:07:08 AM  
So just this evening, taking a break from work, I went downstairs to help with dinner.  My wife decided to make our son Kraft mac n' cheese, except she didn't find the stash of Kraft mac n' cheese we had in the pantry.  Instead she looked in some dark corner and found an old box of Star Wars branded "healthy" Kraft mac n' cheese with whole wheat pasta, no artificial colors, whose instructions required only a tablespoon of butter.  And it expired in early 2016.  The boy decided it tasted like ass, so we threw it away and nobody ended up bazooka pooping, TEH ENB.

Later, I find this thread and I realize that that box of Star Wars healthy mac n' cheese sat expired in our pantry longer than the confederacy existed.

Other things that lasted longer than the confederacy existed:

o  The "this is fine" dog meme
o  The Commodore VIC-20 (but not the Coleco Adam or the TI-99/4A)
o  The Muppet Babies

Hell, the laptop I'm using is from 2014, and it's still more advanced than a lot of the new models on the Apple store.
 
2020-06-17 2:20:26 AM  
Kancolle's been around for nearly twice as long as the Confederacy
 
2020-06-17 3:05:10 AM  
ET game cartridges lasted longer, even after being dumped in a landfill.
 
2020-06-17 3:35:35 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-17 6:45:10 AM  
Hey, let's give the Confederacy this: it lasted longer than both XFL incarnations put together. That's something, right?

Seriously though: it was a four-year run that got a LOT of people killed, and yielded jack squat except some carpetbaggers rolling in to gut shank some Good Ol' Boys during the Reconstruction. Heck, the Reconstruction lasted longer than the CSA, and folks still "have it in their hearts"? Most people write off a four-year marriage as a fluke, and get on with things. People keep hairstyles longer than the CSA lasted. The only people born into the CSA died before Happy Days aired, and even they didn't have f*cking language skills enough to process that their nation had passed.

Talk about your sore losers.
 
2020-06-17 8:04:42 AM  
I think one thing being missed is that some of these people also stick the years of antebellum America in with this small set of years that delimit the Confederacy's existence.
 
2020-06-17 8:14:17 AM  
Basically every TV show with even a modicum of success.
Every video game franchise.
Most web comics.
Most failed marriages.
People born on Feb 29 would only have had 1 birthday.
They were around long enough for a single Olympics.
4 years is not a long time.
 
2020-06-17 8:16:48 AM  
I still use my original Wii occasionally
 
2020-06-17 8:26:07 AM  
The confederacy didn't last long enough to pay off a standard 5 year car loan.
 
2020-06-17 8:26:37 AM  
Good versions of Linux and MacOS have lasted longer
Good versions of Windows have not
 
2020-06-17 8:43:27 AM  
The confederacy lasted longer than Fark TV.
 
2020-06-17 8:45:17 AM  

fat boy: The confederacy lasted longer than Fark TV.


Confederacy: With sweat and a dead man's balls.
 
2020-06-17 9:05:36 AM  
The Confederacy lasted longer than Firefly :/
 
2020-06-17 9:06:43 AM  
I'd never really contextualized it this way, it's pretty hilarious.

I have a concert tshirt that's 20 years old, I can only hope that in a few decades heavily armed and lightly educated man-children are defending its honor against the libs.
 
2020-06-17 9:07:54 AM  

gnosis301: I think one thing being missed is that some of these people also stick the years of antebellum America in with this small set of years that delimit the Confederacy's existence.


The super-plantations which were the backbone of the Confederacy's economic engine, were only created in the 1820s and 1830s.  Even with the bulk of what we traditionally think of as "antebellum Southern" society, it was at best passed on to one generation*.

*The society, not the wealth.  That wealth was always concentrated in a handful of plantation owners and merchants.  Rich man's war, poor man's fight.

And it's a damn shame the secessionist elite duped the soldiers into thinking they were fighting for something noble.  Maybe with a better plan for education during Reconstruction, we could have convinced them to build monuments lamenting their exploitation instead of being proud they fought for their overlords.
 
2020-06-17 9:13:48 AM  

ReluctantLondon: The Confederacy lasted longer than Firefly :/


In THAT case, I was on the losing side, not the wrong one...
 
2020-06-17 9:16:42 AM  
Yugo availability in the US lasted longer than the Confederacy (1985 - 1992).
 
2020-06-17 9:28:59 AM  

Orallo: I still use my original Wii occasionally


Regular Wii use is known to both prevent cancer and ward off ghosts provided you chant the correct incantation.

WIIJI ACK ULATE RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLEx5
 
2020-06-17 9:38:10 AM  
And boy was the WiiU a failure
 
2020-06-17 9:43:22 AM  
Now lets look at Segregation & Jim Crow  and be ashamed we let those go on for so long.
 
2020-06-17 9:50:17 AM  
If you have an erection lasting longer than the Confederacy, consult a physician.
 
2020-06-17 10:40:34 AM  
The Philips CD-i lasted longer than the Confederacy.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-17 10:46:38 AM  
Disco music was in the Top 40 for longer than the Confederacy existed.

New Coke was on the market for longer than the Confederacy existed.

And, oddly enough, The Dukes Of Hazzard was on the air for longer than the Confederacy existed.

PunkTiger: Yugo availability in the US lasted longer than the Confederacy (1985 - 1992).


The Pontiac Aztek was manufactured and sold for a longer period than the Confederacy existed.
 
2020-06-17 10:49:17 AM  
Videogames™.
 
2020-06-17 10:53:09 AM  
So replace all the confederate statues with Super Mario. Problem solved.
 
2020-06-17 1:30:09 PM  
The Wii U was a great system. It really had a ton of good games, and I loved mine.

I hated the Wii and I'm neutral on the Switch. The best Switch games are Wii U ports anyway.
 
2020-06-17 2:42:27 PM  
The Articles of Confederation lasted longer than the Confederacy.
 
2020-06-17 3:10:21 PM  
The wii U had great games, on a crap system.

Nintendo tried to take the DS concept and put it in your living room.  Good idea, but the system wasn't strong enough to feed 4 tablets, so one player got the next gen experience while the other 3 had to make due with wiimotes, defeating the entire rationale for the system.

Without a solid novelty the console couldn't go toe to toe with MS or Sony, which hurt third party games.  First party was overall quite solid though, but that's expected with nintendo.

The switch was a vastly more interesting idea, basically a Vita that actually does what the Vita was suppose to do: true console gaming on the go.  Hell, the vita even originally had TV out in the dev version, which never made it to the consumer version.  Which was odd given the PSP 2000 onward had TV out.

Also helps that most of the wii u's greatest titles got ports to switch, loves me some Hyrule Warriors and MK 8 DX.
 
2020-06-17 6:08:24 PM  

Likwit: So replace all the confederate statues with Super Mario. Problem solved.


I'm from Mississippi, and I'm 100% in support of this.
 
2020-06-17 9:12:16 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-17 11:01:21 PM  

EvilJRoss: The Wii U was a great system. It really had a ton of good games, and I loved mine.

I hated the Wii and I'm neutral on the Switch. The best Switch games are Wii U ports anyway.


Everyone I have heard from who has owned a Wii U has said that they love it. One of these days I plan to pick one up.
 
2020-06-18 12:09:53 AM  

Gordon Bennett: EvilJRoss: The Wii U was a great system. It really had a ton of good games, and I loved mine.

I hated the Wii and I'm neutral on the Switch. The best Switch games are Wii U ports anyway.

Everyone I have heard from who has owned a Wii U has said that they love it. One of these days I plan to pick one up.


You should play on computer. It can be emulated really easily now. I have a mid-range gaming rig and aside from maybe Breath of the Wild, everything runs in 4K60. Been playing the shiat out of Super Mario 3D World. Unless you just want to experience the gamepad. It's pretty damn interesting to see how the Switch came about. Being able to take your controller and play in another room well away from your console with no lag was really cool. I'd say cooler than the Switch, if much less portable.
 
2020-06-18 12:34:51 AM  

Likwit: Gordon Bennett: EvilJRoss: The Wii U was a great system. It really had a ton of good games, and I loved mine.

I hated the Wii and I'm neutral on the Switch. The best Switch games are Wii U ports anyway.

Everyone I have heard from who has owned a Wii U has said that they love it. One of these days I plan to pick one up.

You should play on computer. It can be emulated really easily now. I have a mid-range gaming rig and aside from maybe Breath of the Wild, everything runs in 4K60. Been playing the shiat out of Super Mario 3D World. Unless you just want to experience the gamepad. It's pretty damn interesting to see how the Switch came about. Being able to take your controller and play in another room well away from your console with no lag was really cool. I'd say cooler than the Switch, if much less portable.


Is that with Cemu? I've been waiting for that one to mature a bit in development before giving it a try. If it's ready now to be tried I'll give it a shot.
 
2020-06-18 12:42:31 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Likwit: Gordon Bennett: EvilJRoss: The Wii U was a great system. It really had a ton of good games, and I loved mine.

I hated the Wii and I'm neutral on the Switch. The best Switch games are Wii U ports anyway.

Everyone I have heard from who has owned a Wii U has said that they love it. One of these days I plan to pick one up.

You should play on computer. It can be emulated really easily now. I have a mid-range gaming rig and aside from maybe Breath of the Wild, everything runs in 4K60. Been playing the shiat out of Super Mario 3D World. Unless you just want to experience the gamepad. It's pretty damn interesting to see how the Switch came about. Being able to take your controller and play in another room well away from your console with no lag was really cool. I'd say cooler than the Switch, if much less portable.

Is that with Cemu? I've been waiting for that one to mature a bit in development before giving it a try. If it's ready now to be tried I'll give it a shot.


I'd say it became ready just these last few months with the introduction of asynchronous shader caching in Vulkan (enable Vulkan in the graphics settings and then async shaders from the debug menu). I have yet to play anything that doesn't run well. Even BOTW is locked at 30FPS in 4K for me.
 
2020-06-18 2:45:09 AM  

Likwit: Gordon Bennett: Likwit: Gordon Bennett: EvilJRoss: The Wii U was a great system. It really had a ton of good games, and I loved mine.

I hated the Wii and I'm neutral on the Switch. The best Switch games are Wii U ports anyway.

Everyone I have heard from who has owned a Wii U has said that they love it. One of these days I plan to pick one up.

You should play on computer. It can be emulated really easily now. I have a mid-range gaming rig and aside from maybe Breath of the Wild, everything runs in 4K60. Been playing the shiat out of Super Mario 3D World. Unless you just want to experience the gamepad. It's pretty damn interesting to see how the Switch came about. Being able to take your controller and play in another room well away from your console with no lag was really cool. I'd say cooler than the Switch, if much less portable.

Is that with Cemu? I've been waiting for that one to mature a bit in development before giving it a try. If it's ready now to be tried I'll give it a shot.

I'd say it became ready just these last few months with the introduction of asynchronous shader caching in Vulkan (enable Vulkan in the graphics settings and then async shaders from the debug menu). I have yet to play anything that doesn't run well. Even BOTW is locked at 30FPS in 4K for me.


Many thanks. I'll give it a go.
 
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