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(Slate)   Are you a straight man who's excited about opening up your relationship with your wife or girlfriend? Here's one important thing to remember. Hint: sausages   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Gender, Swinging, Sex, Sex ratio, open events, NSA swingers events, Polyamory, Thursday night  
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5908 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2020 at 10:27 AM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



79 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-06-12 9:47:46 AM  
If you want more tacos, rent them.
 
2020-06-12 10:05:03 AM  
No, subby cause I'm now an old fart lacking the energy to disappoint multiple people at once.
 
2020-06-12 10:06:00 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-12 10:08:23 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-12 10:09:38 AM  

8 inches: If you want more tacos, rent them.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-12 10:10:33 AM  
Like they have a fantasy harem in their heads and are upset that that isn't the case.

That pretty much describes most males from the age of puberty on up.
 
2020-06-12 10:19:15 AM  

pueblonative: No, subby cause I'm now an old fart lacking the energy to disappoint multiple people at once.


No kidding.  It's bad enough getting up to get out of bed let alone getting up 'in' bed...

/also a good argument for going wild while you were young.  That way you have nice memories to review once you're old, settled down & it's FAR too expensive to bring up things that may lead to a divorce
 
2020-06-12 10:31:32 AM  
Wife will get miles of dick while you're still swiping right. Whoops.
 
2020-06-12 10:33:04 AM  

Recoil Therapy: pueblonative: No, subby cause I'm now an old fart lacking the energy to disappoint multiple people at once.

No kidding.  It's bad enough getting up to get out of bed let alone getting up 'in' bed...

/also a good argument for going wild while you were young.  That way you have nice memories to review once you're old, settled down & it's FAR too expensive to bring up things that may lead to a divorce


Best solution: don't get married in the first place.
 
2020-06-12 10:33:32 AM  
Every guy who fantasizes about his girl getting it on with more girls might consider that his girl harbors similar fantasies involving him and sweaty basketball players.
 
2020-06-12 10:34:20 AM  
y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
2020-06-12 10:35:39 AM  
There are two primary economies :

Economic - In which men tend to have an advantage.

Mating - In which women tend to have an advantage.
 
2020-06-12 10:36:50 AM  
Dating multiple people just sounds... exhausting. I don't even want to deal with one person let alone several.
 
2020-06-12 10:37:58 AM  
Couples exploring non-monogamy need to prepare for the fact that men will routinely outnumber women by a ratio of 3:1 at best.

Hell, go to RPI then. Same ratio, but at least you get an engineering degree.

/5:1 when I was there
 
2020-06-12 10:38:30 AM  
Someone much smarter than me has already said if you can find two women willing to have sex with you at the same time...
      ...you really wouldn't want to have sex with either of them.
 
2020-06-12 10:41:49 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-12 10:44:03 AM  
"Poly munch" may be the most disturbing phrase I've learned in a long time.

I mean, you do you, but ew.
 
2020-06-12 10:44:11 AM  
Dick futures suggest they will continue to be a buyers market.
 
2020-06-12 10:45:30 AM  

MBooda: Couples exploring non-monogamy need to prepare for the fact that men will routinely outnumber women by a ratio of 3:1 at best.

Hell, go to RPI then. Same ratio, but at least you get an engineering degree.

/5:1 when I was there


Why restrict to humans? The gender ratio of Dartmouth sheep in't baaaahd.
 
2020-06-12 10:49:06 AM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: "Poly munch" may be the most disturbing phrase I've learned in a long time.



Poly Sci elective taught at a cooking school?
 
2020-06-12 10:50:19 AM  
Years ago I was on the tail end of a relationship and my girlfriend suggested that we open up the relationship. I agreed. She had a date lined up that very same day, less than a two hours after our talk. Yeah, it did not take a genius to read that handwriting on the wall. The very next morning the locksmith was changing the locks on my apartment. That night when she dropped on by she was really upset that her key no longer worked. She was even more upset when I handed her a box of all her stuff and told her we were through.
 
2020-06-12 10:52:26 AM  
I don't think it's true that women somehow have an advantage in the non-monogamy circles. I mean, if you're a woman on the poly scene, there aren't a lot of decent guys, there's mostly a bunch of guys like the guy who wrote the letter in TFA. Like, a lot of them SAID they wanted "real relationships" but most of them just wanted a justification to step out of their marriages. Not exactly appealing.
 
2020-06-12 10:52:46 AM  
What they don't tell you is that 90% of the time someone asks to open a relationship they've already checked of that relationship.
90% of the time a woman asks to open a relationship she already picked out the dude she wants to openly sleep with.  She just wants to make sure it's good before she breaks up with you.
/Classic liner-uppers
//I know, this article is about swingers
///all the dicks and all the smells
 
2020-06-12 10:52:51 AM  
The only thing I don't buy is "the issue is rarely discussed" or "There's Something They Never Tell Straight Men".  If you didn't know that, just intuitively, ya dumb.
 
2020-06-12 10:54:30 AM  

Mock26: She was even more upset when I handed her a box of all her stuff


All her stuff in a small box?

Hell, had to rent a u-haul just for my ex's shoes.
 
2020-06-12 10:55:33 AM  
Sounds like an opportunity to explore another side of ones self.

How many of those dudes are really open though and how many are there thinking "easy pickins"?
 
2020-06-12 11:00:38 AM  
Yep, this happened last year to some friends of mine. He wanted to open the marriage up, she said yes because she wanted him happy, then he was upset that she was getting dates and he was out in the cold. They divorced, and while shes now happily with someone else he is still hoping to score.
 
2020-06-12 11:00:56 AM  

Mock26: Years ago I was on the tail end of a relationship and my girlfriend suggested that we open up the relationship. I agreed. She had a date lined up that very same day, less than a two hours after our talk. Yeah, it did not take a genius to read that handwriting on the wall. The very next morning the locksmith was changing the locks on my apartment. That night when she dropped on by she was really upset that her key no longer worked. She was even more upset when I handed her a box of all her stuff and told her we were through.


I'm sure that was tough to go through but it sounds like you handled really well. Good for you.
 
2020-06-12 11:01:46 AM  
KITH Sausages
Youtube 3ChvxsVgT8c
 
2020-06-12 11:02:29 AM  
Cucks.
 
2020-06-12 11:04:50 AM  
John Anderson - Swingin'
Youtube qvGaSu1XoF0
 
2020-06-12 11:05:55 AM  
learn to suck dick then?
 
2020-06-12 11:08:17 AM  
Dude sounds entitled to the hot bi-babe he imagined up in his mind.
 
2020-06-12 11:09:10 AM  
Yup, that's pretty standard.  Women in open relationships will get more action than the men, that's just how the sexual marketplace works.  You would have to be Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio to swing the needle in the other direction.
 
2020-06-12 11:13:18 AM  
Captain Obvious says: more people want your wife than want you.
 
2020-06-12 11:15:52 AM  
Also, it's amusing that men complain about not getting the hot harem action they were apparently expecting.
 
2020-06-12 11:18:59 AM  

MBooda: Couples exploring non-monogamy need to prepare for the fact that men will routinely outnumber women by a ratio of 3:1 at best.

Hell, go to RPI then. Same ratio, but at least you get an engineering degree.

/5:1 when I was there


5:1? Boy, you were spoiled. I think mine was 100:1
 
2020-06-12 11:22:09 AM  

Needlessly Complicated: I don't think it's true that women somehow have an advantage in the non-monogamy circles. I mean, if you're a woman on the poly scene, there aren't a lot of decent guys, there's mostly a bunch of guys like the guy who wrote the letter in TFA. Like, a lot of them SAID they wanted "real relationships" but most of them just wanted a justification to step out of their marriages. Not exactly appealing.


This. I'm also amused (and it's kinda depressing, too) how many men think they're a prize (spoiler alert: most aren't) that women need to compete for, like in those appalling "bachelor" shows. (And the reverse, bachelorette shows are also gross.)

The whole idea of a "marketplace" where you are supposedly prime beef and almost everyone else is a hot dog, LOL. I mean, if you just want to get laid, fine, I guess. But maybe consider that your partner may decide, after sampling different product, that he/she doesn't really need you anymore.

I'm not surprised that a lot of these first forays into the "poly" lifestyle result in breakups. Let's face it, most people really aren't that much of a prize. If you can find someone who can stand you for more than a day or two, you're doing good. Maybe be grateful for it. Consider roleplaying first instead of immediately going the "swinger" route.
 
2020-06-12 11:22:44 AM  
Something about the subby headline and the article disconnect just a little bit i feel.

Just the FYI, "open relationship" and "i like orgies" are not assumed to be one in the same.

Some just enjoy having a different flavor of ice cream on trips to the ice cream stand, but still only really want to have one or two scoops at most.
While others find just a plain scoop or two is not what does it, they're in for a whole sauced and nutty Sunday/Bananasplits kinda thing.
 
2020-06-12 11:24:40 AM  
Years ago in my younger and wilder 20s, I had a threesome with two women. They were both FWBs and the stars aligned for the situation. It was really fun

Until about halfway through, at around 3am, when some very ill-timed whiskey dick kicked in.
 
2020-06-12 11:26:34 AM  
I didn't read the whole thing, but the author had a pretty good handle on the swinger scene from what I've been involved in. A couple I knew invited me to a few hotel takeover parties, and they had a no single males rule. They told me to just bring a friend and if anyone asked, say we were a couple. Those were some wild times. Also, it's good to have friends that will help you out.
 
2020-06-12 11:28:44 AM  
If I've learned anything in the last 6 months, its that opening up a marriage to a swinger lifestyle requires the possession of tiger cubs if you're the dude.
 
2020-06-12 11:29:01 AM  

DevilGirlFromMars: Dating multiple people just sounds... exhausting. I don't even want to deal with one person let alone several.


It's an insane amount of work. Especially having a SO and multiple (what most people would call) sex slaves.
 
2020-06-12 11:31:40 AM  

SanityIsAFullTimeJob: There are two primary economies :

Economic - In which men tend to have an advantage.

Mating - In which women tend to have an advantage.


It probably depends on if by "mating" you mean casual sex.   Sure, it's easy for a chick to get a mile of dick run through her, it's pretty much available anytime.  But then those fellas can take that dick and go on home to play Call of Duty.

Ask a woman who's vagina and rectum merged onto one opening during child birth if women really catch the better end of "mating."
 
2020-06-12 11:32:13 AM  

Needlessly Complicated: I don't think it's true that women somehow have an advantage in the non-monogamy circles. I mean, if you're a woman on the poly scene, there aren't a lot of decent guys, there's mostly a bunch of guys like the guy who wrote the letter in TFA. Like, a lot of them SAID they wanted "real relationships" but most of them just wanted a justification to step out of their marriages. Not exactly appealing.


Or they become unicorn hunters who just want a human sex toy to use for a threesome to spice up their sex life with their established partner, that they can then discard when they get bored. A lot of these guys seem to think that all bi or pan women are just dying to have a meaningless threesome with them.

I've literally had guys say to me "but you like guys and girls so this way you get both! Isn't that what you want??"

Sigh. I had to explain to a grown man that no, I'm pan and so not concerned with peoples genders when dating but I'm also pretty far down on the asexual scale so the odds of me being attracted to anyone in the first place are slim to none. Not impossible but rare. And I certainly don't want a threesome with a couple of randos who are hitting on me at a bar.
 
2020-06-12 11:33:02 AM  
"The only time I want sex twice is before I have sex once."

              - Jimmy Carr
 
2020-06-12 11:33:24 AM  
Hmmm, it's easier for women to score the D than it is for men to get the V.

Color me shocked.
 
2020-06-12 11:33:36 AM  
th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-12 11:35:15 AM  

MBooda: Couples exploring non-monogamy need to prepare for the fact that men will routinely outnumber women by a ratio of 3:1 at best.

Hell, go to RPI then. Same ratio, but at least you get an engineering degree.

/5:1 when I was there


Yes but all those sweet, sweet Sage girls were just down the hill....
 
2020-06-12 11:37:49 AM  

mmojo: DevilGirlFromMars: Dating multiple people just sounds... exhausting. I don't even want to deal with one person let alone several.

It's an insane amount of work. Especially having a SO and multiple (what most people would call) sex slaves.


Even just reading about it sounds stressful
 
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