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(NJ.com)   Please do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to take selfies with the bear. Also, lock down your picnic baskets   (nj.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, American Black Bear, Internet privacy, According to Jim, Bear, Privacy, Winslow Township Police Department, bear sightings, Bears  
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2347 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2020 at 1:50 PM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



53 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-06-11 10:36:36 AM  
Thats "pickanick basket" to you subby.
 
2020-06-11 12:29:07 PM  
Or sharks.

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2020-06-11 1:52:35 PM  

wax_on: Thats "pickanick basket" to you subby.



What a Boo-Boo.
 
2020-06-11 1:55:20 PM  
Okay, these Russian infiltrators are getting out of hand.
 
2020-06-11 1:58:40 PM  
Solid advice
 
2020-06-11 1:58:45 PM  
Na.... let the stupid people try to take selfies with predators and clean out some of the gene pool.  Protecting the stupid from their own stupidity is causing lots of problems.
 
2020-06-11 1:58:58 PM  
They look scary, but they are really sweet guys.
 
2020-06-11 1:59:37 PM  
The Ranger isn't going to like this, Yogi.
 
2020-06-11 2:00:20 PM  
Meanwhile, in New Jersey...

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2020-06-11 2:00:29 PM  
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2020-06-11 2:01:20 PM  
You people are really starting to piss of Darwin's ghost by getting in the way of the way things are supposed to be.
 
2020-06-11 2:02:01 PM  

Madman drummers bummers: Okay, these Russian infiltrators are getting out of hand.


Many years ago, when I lived in the Mountain west, we had a report of a couple of Eastern European tourists who had gone missing while hunting in the Montana wilderness. A Russian and a Czech were overdue for their hotel checkout, and nobody had seen them for a while.

At first people thought that they might have just skipped on their visas, but then they found the remains of the campsite. It had been destroyed and there was blood, but no bodies. Experienced hunters and trackers determined that it was a mating pair of bears that had stumbled into their camp and attacked.

After a few days, they managed to locate the female, and after killing her they performed a necropsy. Sadly, they found the remains of the Russian gentleman in her stomach, which confirmed our worst fears:

The Czech was in the male.
 
2020-06-11 2:03:13 PM  
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-11 2:04:45 PM  
DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack
Youtube u1cgHEWG-BA
 
2020-06-11 2:07:42 PM  
Black bears are generally not known to be a threat to humans.

Explain that to my neighbor. Oh right, he was the one in the casket at the funeral I went to.

/yes it was an open casket
//hell no I didn't go and look
 
2020-06-11 2:10:08 PM  
I've lost count how many times I saw a group of tourists standing around a big dog and taking pictures, only to realize it was a black bear and the tourists were apparently morons.

/aka tourons
 
2020-06-11 2:11:11 PM  

PirateKing: Many years ago, when I lived in the Mountain west, we had a report of a couple of Eastern European tourists who had gone missing while hunting in the Montana wilderness. A Russian and a Czech were overdue for their hotel checkout, and nobody had seen them for a while.
At first people thought that they might have just skipped on their visas, but then they found the remains of the campsite. It had been destroyed and there was blood, but no bodies. Experienced hunters and trackers determined that it was a mating pair of bears that had stumbled into their camp and attacked.
After a few days, they managed to locate the female, and after killing her they performed a necropsy. Sadly, they found the remains of the Russian gentleman in her stomach, which confirmed our worst fears:
The Czech was in the male.


Hey, I knew a guy who got his face ripped off by a grizzly he stupidly got too close to, but that story isn't funny.
 
2020-06-11 2:18:48 PM  
"Please do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to take selfies with the bear,"

Sooooo... You're saying I should take a selfie with the best?
 
2020-06-11 2:20:26 PM  
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Didn't get the memo
 
2020-06-11 2:23:11 PM  
Bears are harmless.

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2020-06-11 2:23:31 PM  
Ahem.

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I have many more.
 
2020-06-11 2:23:55 PM  
 
2020-06-11 2:30:37 PM  

Mr. Fuzzypaws: Ahem.

[Fark user image image 850x637]

[Fark user image image 720x960]

I have many more.


Username has me confused. Which one in the pic is you?
 
2020-06-11 2:34:19 PM  

cryinoutloud: Hey, I knew a guy who got his face ripped off by a grizzly he stupidly got too close to, but that story isn't funny.


I don't believe you. Without supporting evidence that's just a bear assertion.
 
2020-06-11 2:38:27 PM  
Bear hunting in New Jersey

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2020-06-11 2:41:16 PM  
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2020-06-11 2:44:31 PM  
A Zucked bear is a f***ed bear, got it.

Selfie with these guys still ok?

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2020-06-11 2:48:49 PM  
This was the only concerning encounter I've had with a bear.
Squatting is a bad idea to capture video.
Bears are fast.

Black bear Shenandoah National Park / Bluff Charge
Youtube 3722H38XXjY
 
2020-06-11 2:50:06 PM  

Mister Pleco: Just leaving this here...

https://www.nj.com/passaic-county/2014​/10/west_milford_fatal_bear_attack_det​ails_emerge_from_unredacted_documents.​html


When someone tells you to leave the area because a bear is following them, you LEAVE THE FARKING AREA. Dead bear and dead hiker. Just sad.
 
2020-06-11 2:52:59 PM  
Why do they gotta mention the race of the bear, would they be as concerned if it was a white bear!
The bears  were just trying to get some bear essentials until they get the bear necessities they are going to be unbearable.
 
2020-06-11 3:05:12 PM  

punkwrestler: Why do they gotta mention the race of the bear, would they be as concerned if it was a white bear!
The bears  were just trying to get some bear essentials until they get the bear necessities they are going to be unbearable.


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/good read, imho.
 
2020-06-11 3:10:25 PM  

punkwrestler: Why do they gotta mention the race of the bear, would they be as concerned if it was a white bear!


Yes, because white bears are the worst.  The only reason that polar bear attacks on people are more rare than brown or black bear attacks is because there are very few people who actually live in their habitat.
 
2020-06-11 3:12:02 PM  
Bears!

Science Isn't Scary Episode 62: Bears Aren't Scary (But Don't Pet Them)
Youtube VisHXq4-_qI
 
2020-06-11 3:15:22 PM  
Picnic basket? Screw that OP, I want beer!
 
2020-06-11 3:16:17 PM  

Cafe Threads: Or sharks.

[Fark user image 425x389]


Actually, that's more of an Orca thing to do.

Killer Whales Hunt Sea Lions | Trials Of Life | BBC Earth
Youtube bk1VdQxeTn4


Fair warning:  Sea lions get eaten.
 
2020-06-11 3:18:05 PM  
FTFA:  It even recommended families with homes in areas where black bears have been found in the past to have a "Bear Plan" that includes an escape route and planned use of whistles and air horns.

How's this for a "Bear Plan"?  Get rid of the bears before they attack anyone!  I don't care if you kill them or relocate them, but predators (other than humans) don't belong in populated areas.
 
2020-06-11 4:08:05 PM  

PirateKing: cryinoutloud: Hey, I knew a guy who got his face ripped off by a grizzly he stupidly got too close to, but that story isn't funny.
I don't believe you. Without supporting evidence that's just a bear assertion.


He was also a deadbeat dad. Guy just couldn't catch a break.

Grizzly-attack victim wanted in Ohio
 
2020-06-11 4:22:55 PM  

Russ1642: Black bears are generally not known to be a threat to humans.

Explain that to my neighbor. Oh right, he was the one in the casket at the funeral I went to.

/yes it was an open casket
//hell no I didn't go and look


I see that you are not familiar with the word "generally."
 
2020-06-11 4:25:40 PM  

hoyt clagwell: FTFA:  It even recommended families with homes in areas where black bears have been found in the past to have a "Bear Plan" that includes an escape route and planned use of whistles and air horns.

How's this for a "Bear Plan"?  Get rid of the bears before they attack anyone!  I don't care if you kill them or relocate them, but predators (other than humans) don't belong in populated areas.


Remington 700 ADL in .30'06 Springfield.

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Lions and tigers and bears...  SO WHAT?
 
2020-06-11 4:31:25 PM  

wax_on: Thats "pickanick basket" to you subby.


Done in 1
 
2020-06-11 4:33:44 PM  
This was waiting for me in my email when I got home:

"There has been a bear spotting in [redacted] Apartments. A bear was seen wandering around the [redacted] Apartments Community between the hours of 12:00pm and 1:45 pm on Thursday, June 11th, 2020. The bear appears to be an American Black Bear commonly found in the Appalachian region. Animal Control has been alerted to the presence of the bear and are currently monitoring the situation."

I live in [redacted] apartments, and of course my apartment is on the ground floor. If you hear of some sap in northern VA getting eaten by a bear and I stop all Fark activity you'll know what happened.
 
2020-06-11 4:41:39 PM  
TFA is from South Jersey.  I have a sister in Cranford and a couple of days ago she sent a pic of a Black bear walking down her street.

I was jealous.  I haven't seen a Black Bear in my area in over a decade.  Lots of deer, opossum, eagles, hawks, squirrels, chipmunks, polecats, snakes, skinks and all sorts of other critters...but not bears.
 
2020-06-11 4:42:01 PM  
Hmm, maybe she should have tried the Timothy Treadwell approached and talk to the bear about its bad behavior.
 
2020-06-11 4:51:41 PM  

Pernicious Q. Varmint: This was waiting for me in my email when I got home:

"There has been a bear spotting in [redacted] Apartments. A bear was seen wandering around the [redacted] Apartments Community between the hours of 12:00pm and 1:45 pm on Thursday, June 11th, 2020. The bear appears to be an American Black Bear commonly found in the Appalachian region. Animal Control has been alerted to the presence of the bear and are currently monitoring the situation."

I live in [redacted] apartments, and of course my apartment is on the ground floor. If you hear of some sap in northern VA getting eaten by a bear and I stop all Fark activity you'll know what happened.


Username checks out, sorta.
 
2020-06-11 6:25:18 PM  
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2020-06-11 6:48:38 PM  

Mock26: Russ1642: Black bears are generally not known to be a threat to humans.

Explain that to my neighbor. Oh right, he was the one in the casket at the funeral I went to.

/yes it was an open casket
//hell no I didn't go and look

I see that you are not familiar with the word "generally."


Black bears aren't as dangerous than grizzly bears. Doesn't mean they're not FARKING BEARS. A momma with cubs or a bear simply in a bad mood will still fark you up.
 
2020-06-11 6:52:22 PM  

Russ1642: Black bears aren't as dangerous than grizzly bears. Doesn't mean they're not FARKING BEARS. A momma with cubs or a bear simply in a bad mood will still fark you up.


media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-11 7:31:15 PM  

Pernicious Q. Varmint: This was waiting for me in my email when I got home:

"There has been a bear spotting in [redacted] Apartments. A bear was seen wandering around the [redacted] Apartments Community between the hours of 12:00pm and 1:45 pm on Thursday, June 11th, 2020. The bear appears to be an American Black Bear commonly found in the Appalachian region. Animal Control has been alerted to the presence of the bear and are currently monitoring the situation."

I live in [redacted] apartments, and of course my apartment is on the ground floor. If you hear of some sap in northern VA getting eaten by a bear and I stop all Fark activity you'll know what happened.


Kiddie porn bust?
 
2020-06-11 8:10:27 PM  

Russ1642: Mock26: Russ1642: Black bears are generally not known to be a threat to humans.

Explain that to my neighbor. Oh right, he was the one in the casket at the funeral I went to.

/yes it was an open casket
//hell no I didn't go and look

I see that you are not familiar with the word "generally."

Black bears aren't as dangerous than grizzly bears. Doesn't mean they're not FARKING BEARS. A momma with cubs or a bear simply in a bad mood will still fark you up.


If a black bear makes physical contact with you, fight back, because it's trying to eat you.  Playing dead will just make you actual dead.
 
2020-06-11 9:43:52 PM  

Pernicious Q. Varmint: This was waiting for me in my email when I got home:

"There has been a bear spotting in [redacted] Apartments. A bear was seen wandering around the [redacted] Apartments Community between the hours of 12:00pm and 1:45 pm on Thursday, June 11th, 2020. The bear appears to be an American Black Bear commonly found in the Appalachian region. Animal Control has been alerted to the presence of the bear and are currently monitoring the situation."

I live in [redacted] apartments, and of course my apartment is on the ground floor. If you hear of some sap in northern VA getting eaten by a bear and I stop all Fark activity you'll know what happened.


I'll farkie you as, "Probably killed by bear."

Oh f*ck.  I live in northern Virginia.
 
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