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(WHDH Boston)   Fark Ready Headline: Drunken Attleboro man broke into zoo because he wanted to 'look at the monkeys'   (whdh.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Attleboro, Massachusetts, Primate, All rights reserved, Copyright, Capron Park Zoo, Sunbeam Television, Joseph Villa, break-in  
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977 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jun 2020 at 8:35 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-06-06 6:06:30 PM  
20 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-06 8:36:44 PM  
11 votes:
Drunken Attleboro is my favorite British documentary narrator.
 
2020-06-06 8:40:05 PM  
9 votes:
Approves:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-06-06 8:08:21 PM  
8 votes:
Holy shiat!  I used to work with that asshole.  He was fired.... for being drunk on the job. See he hasn't changed...
 
2020-06-06 9:01:21 PM  
6 votes:
Sprockets: Would you like to touch my monkey?
Youtube DLlbWiTo_wQ
 
2020-06-06 8:44:31 PM  
5 votes:
Csb:

I used to play pool for beers with this character that told me he took a chick home one night, and she had two pet monkeys.

Apparently when they started to make out on the couch the monkeys got jealous and the started flipping around in front of him while spraying with urine and feces until he was totally covered in it, he said the smell and taste of it (lots hit his face) was atrocious.

He said he still got laid though, I never asked if he bathed first.

/csb
 
2020-06-06 8:41:37 PM  
5 votes:
Would You Like To Buy A Monkey?
Youtube CAFpRHqK28Q
 
2020-06-06 8:38:04 PM  
5 votes:
The correct answer is that the monkeys want to see me.
 
2020-06-06 9:11:28 PM  
4 votes:
Here we "come"
Shootin' off our seed
Can't stop us from killin'
All the kittens we need

HEY HEY WE'RE THE MONKEYS
People say it makes hairy palms
But we're too busy fappin'
To ask you for your alms
 
2020-06-06 5:40:08 PM  
4 votes:
I was born in that town. There was a gibbon who loved to whiz on unsuspecting people walking by his enclosure. Vicious little Farker too.
 
2020-06-06 10:46:30 PM  
3 votes:
That guy woke me up. He's a dick.
 
2020-06-06 9:37:07 PM  
3 votes:
Overheard at the monkey cage: "So, you see, son, this evolution thing doesn't always work out for the better."
 
2020-06-06 8:59:08 PM  
3 votes:
Wait.... someone actually got through all that new fencing around the White House?
 
2020-06-06 8:51:11 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2020-06-06 8:40:07 PM  
3 votes:

bearded clamorer: [Fark user image image 348x436]
[Fark user image image 348x257]


Looks like the secret child of John Belushi and Kelsey Grammer.
 
2020-06-06 11:26:51 PM  
1 vote:
"Wanted to look at the monkeys" has just become my favorite euphemism for anything.  Break into an ambulance? vandalize a special needs school? spray graffiti on a church?
"Why did you do that, sir?!"
"I wanted to look at the monkeys."
 
2020-06-06 9:17:45 PM  
1 vote:

gameshowhost: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/CAFpRHqK​28Q]


Uma..Oprah..Oprah..Uma
 
2020-06-06 9:09:36 PM  
1 vote:

Salmon: Csb:

I used to play pool for beers with this character that told me he took a chick home one night, and she had two pet monkeys.

Apparently when they started to make out on the couch the monkeys got jealous and the started flipping around in front of him while spraying with urine and feces until he was totally covered in it, he said the smell and taste of it (lots hit his face) was atrocious.

He said he still got laid though, I never asked if he bathed first.

/csb


Didn't matter.  Had sex
 
2020-06-06 8:56:03 PM  
1 vote:
That's as valid a reason as any.
 
2020-06-06 8:47:43 PM  
1 vote:
Aw yeah.  They all want a little piece of me.
 
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